Does My Ex Want Me Back? Seven Signs That You Should Rekindle The Relationship

Any person that has ever been involved in a relationship might agree that the challenges you face together help to a bridge of longevity. Unfortunately, some challenges are not as easy to overcome as others which may result in the relationship dissolving.  

Some who have faced and decided to part and go separate ways might agree that it's not always easy to make a clean break. The emotions, doubts, and hurt can be more difficult than the challenges within the relationship.

There are occasions where reconciliation comes after a breakup. Are you or have you been in a situation where you thought your significant other wanted you back, but you weren't sure? Should I get back with my ex? This has occurred to more people than you know. It's not always easy to tell, especially immediately after the breakup takes place. Emotions are still fresh, wounds haven't completely healed, and there may be moments of uncertainty because the relationship is what you're familiar with in life. Before you begin the journey to reconnecting with your ex, there are some things to consider, especially accepting that the relationship may truly be over. If not, there are signs you can look out for that can point to a chance you can rekindle your relationship. Read on to learn more. 

Is the relationship over?

One of the most common questions people have after a breakup is, "Is the relationship over?" This is not an odd question because reconciliation is often on both partner's minds when the breakup first occurs.

If you're asking yourself, "Does my ex want me back?" or "what does my ex think?" You may want to give the breakup a little thought before writing it completely off. Sometimes, things can be worked out, and the relationship can be rekindled. You may be wondering if returning to this relationship is worth it. You have gained closure but still hold out hope that the relationship has a chance.

Typically, a breakup does not result in people getting back together as there usually are valid reasons for the relationship ending. However, sometimes (and probably more often than you think) reconciliation occurs after closure. The uncertainty of reconciliation can cause feelings of fear and doubt, but rekindling your relationship is possible. This decision is made possible by both partners who are willing to give their love a second chance.  

Seven signs that you should rekindle the relationship

Maybe your ex is giving you reasons to believe that they want to get back together with you. Sometimes a relationship is worth saving and it is possible to do so. Unless the person verbally expresses their desire to reconcile, it isn't easy to know whether reconciliation will be possible. Here are some signs that may point to hope that you can get back together again: 

1. An amicable agreement

If the breakup was amicable because you both felt the need to go your separate ways, there might be a chance to rekindle the spark. Sometimes relationships dissolve as a means to give each other time to work on personal issues. The agreement to part may be the only way a couple can take the time they need to work on themselves. You may have broken up simply because of a move where you would be far away from each other and are now in the same town again. 

After a little time apart, it is possible that one or both people feel that they are healthy and whole enough to maintain a healthy relationship. The agreement to part wasn't a write-off for happiness or togetherness. It was instead the best way to allow each person to work on their individual needs. If, after some time apart, you both feel that you're still emotionally connected and want to spend time with each other, there may be a chance for reconciliation.

2. Respect and need of their opinion

If your ex is constantly reaching out to you for your opinion or advice on life-changing situations, they respect you and value your opinion regarding their life. This is a clear sign that there is still a matter of respect between the two of you. Maybe the breakup was a result of an impulse decision. Perhaps it happened hastily during moments of anger or bitterness.

When two people who were once involved in a relationship but are now separated continue to rely on each other when making important decisions, reconciliation may be an option. Again, respect for opinion is important. If neither of you has moved forward nor connected with someone else and you both reach for each other for support, then the connection is still present Respect is a vital part of any relationship and the fact that it still exists between the two of you shows that your relationship has a bright future. 

3. You spend quality time together

Breakups are complex, but there is one clarity. When you are not with someone anymore you should be physically separated from each other. Do you find yourself still spending time with your ex? Do they call you to attend social events with them because they do not want to go alone? Are you the first call they make to invite to a work or family event?

Quality time is an essential part of a relationship. If you and your ex are spending time together as a couple, it may be a sign that they want you back. After a breakup, some people realize that they neglected to spend time with their mates. They strive to correct this issue and make up for neglecting their partner. The more time you spend with your ex, the closer the two of you may become, which makes reconnecting more appealing and easier.

4. They admit their shortcomings

Relationships are hard. It requires a person to give a large portion of themselves. In addition, you must be willing to present yourself as empathetic, compassionate, supportive, and loving. These all seem easy enough, but at some point, failure to do so occurs. It's not that you no longer value the relationship, but you may have lost sight of yourself during the process.

If, after a breakup, your mate reaches out to you to say that they've taken some time to get themselves together and understand what they did wrong, there's hope for reconciliation. Some people lose themselves while trying to be what others need them to be. An incomplete person cannot function properly in a relationship. Once they've gone through what they need to go through, they may be ready to return and make things right. If you feel that their efforts and change are sincere, there may be hope in getting back together.

5. They suggest counseling

This is a big one. Relationships do not have to be in trouble to undergo counseling. For example, people seek consultation before getting married to ensure they enter the union with the best intentions and individual strength. It works similarly when dating or in a relationship.

Counseling can help individuals and couples identify and address issues that may prevent them from being the best they can be in a relationship. It can also help you to work on past issues that could severely impact any relationship you have. Couples can seek counseling together, individually, or both ways. The opportunity to rationalize situations with a neutral party that offers a professional and effective approach saves many relationships from a breakup. It could also be the answer you need to mend the relationship.

6. Apologies have been shared

Breakups can be nasty, and hurtful things can be said during them. It's possible that some ugly things took place that may have led to the exchange of verbal insults or cruelties. It's during these heated moments to understand that anger and hurt are the foundation for the ugliness.

If one or both of you have reached out to offer an apology for wrongdoings and hurtful verbal exchanges, it's a good start. Apologies are not always easy to offer, but they are necessary for both people to move forward. One of both people may understand that neither of you meant those mean things. The apology can be the start of a reconnection because it may trigger emotional healing. A mutual apology helps both of you to move forward with the relationship and try to do things differently this time around.

7. You celebrate milestones together

Milestones in life are special and often celebrated with the people you care about the most. If your ex always calls you when something major occurs in their life, this could be a sign that they want you back. Breakups do not automatically terminate feelings. If the feelings are still honestly there, they should be addressed.

Does your mate call you when they hit a milestone in their career or at work? Are you the first call to help them plan a major celebration? It could be your milestone that they're reaching out to you about. If the first birthday text, call, or visit comes from your ex, this is a sign that they want you back.

When reconciliation may not be an option

If you are in a "my ex wants me back" situation and none of the above signs seem familiar, there may be no chance of reconciliation. Truly knowing they want you back may not necessarily be a gut feeling that you have. Sometimes, you need to move forward and accept that it's over, even when your gut tells you to hold on. Unfortunately, this can be difficult to do if you have yet to address the breakup properly.

What do you do when you and your partner have decided to end the relationship, but you are left with unanswered questions or uncertain if a breakup was the best thing for the relationship? There is no single answer to this question, but ultimately depends on the conditions of the relationship and the feelings of each partner. One of the most important elements of dissolving any relationship is closure.

The importance of closure

Closure is necessary to move forward with your life, and it fulfills different needs for each person. For example, your partner may need closure to help them understand what they did wrong or what they can do differently in relationships moving forward. On the other hand, you may need closure to help you see that there is no hope for the relationship or end the pain you are enduring because of the loss of the relationship.

Closure puts your mind at ease and helps you to accept that the relationship has ended. Although closure varies in fulfillment, it is similar in that it helps a person reach an acceptance that grants them peace and comfort in their life. Breaking up is hard to do and harder to accept for some, especially if you were with the person for a long period.

Closure does not simply present itself when a relationship has ended. Nor is it a process that is easily found or accomplished. If you have gone or are going through a breakup, it is important to seek closure for yourself. It may come after you have talked with your partner and have accepted your role in the demise of the relationship. You may also have finally decided to accept that there is no chance for reconciliation.

Whatever the process you need to reach a point of closure, realize that you deserve it in your life. Closure is possibly the only way you will regain the peace of mind and happiness that you once knew. Accepting the relationship is over and understanding why allows you to return to your best self and look for new and healthy partners in the future. The closure is imperative for a few reasons, including:

It helps you to heal

People often say that a wound needs time to heal. Unfortunately, this is true of emotional scars that come as the result of a broken relationship. Initially, a physical scar is painful, burns a little, or is sore, but after applying the proper ointment and bandage, over time, the wound heals and regains its original skin.

Emotional scars must go through the same healing process. Time and acceptance are the ointment and bandages needed to heal the wound suffered during a breakup. After a time, closure comes and gives what once was a scar a new layer of comfort. The memories of the past relationship may still be there, but the pain is much less.

Moving forward

After a breakup, you need closure to allow you to become unstuck. Some people spend weeks, months, or even years darkened by the shadow of a previous relationship. There is no possibility of moving forward if you haven't gained closure. Unfortunately, there is no timetable for the closure, but it will come sooner than later if you approach the process properly.

It would be best if you accepted that the relationship did not give you what you needed, or you were not ready for the relationship at that time. These are the required conditions necessary for helping you move on with your life, with or without your mate. It's one of the most difficult aspects of a breakup, but moving forward will reinforce the acceptance that things are over. 

Closure brings happiness

A rainbow of emotions is presented during and after a breakup. They may range from sadness, heartbreak, and anger. There is no certain order for emotions because they occur differently for everyone.

Initially, you may feel that you hate the person you were involved with and always feel that way. However, a successful closure helps you to process these feelings of anger or hatred in your heart, and free them from your being. You will find you are able to move forward without feelings of animosity.

Remember that closure is not something you do for the other person; but is done for your mental health and general well-being. It helps you to reach a point of happiness and shows you that you deserve to be happy. Once you find closure, you may also find peace, self-love understanding, and worthiness. All things that will encourage you to let go and move forward.

Reaching for help

If you are having a difficult time finding closure for a tough breakup or simply or unable to feel happy and secure, consider reaching for help from a licensed therapist. Sometimes, the reasons for you being unable to let go of the past may be caused by underlying issues that are keeping you from finding your best self. If you are having a hard time finding a therapist to meet with in person or simply want the convenience of attending therapy at home, online therapy is a great option. 

Online therapy is backed by research as an effective form of care for various concerns, including relationship-related anxiety and depression. Take this review study published in Cureus for example. Researchers reviewed the effectiveness of effectiveness of internet-based cognitive behavioral therapy (ICBT) in the treatment of various psychiatric disorders as compared to in-person therapy. The authors of the review concluded that ICBT is a highly effective tool useful in treating many psychiatric disorders, including generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), social anxiety disorder, and depression. They also pointed out how online therapy is typically more cost-effective and a helpful alternative for those unable to access mental health care from a rural location. 

Regain is an online counseling platform that can connect you to several types of therapists, including licensed marriage and family therapists, licensed clinical social workers, clinical psychologists, or licensed professional counselors. These therapists are able to help you work through what is keeping you from letting go of your past relationship or anything else you want to work through in your life. If you and your ex have decided to rekindle your relationship and would like relationship counseling, you and your partner can also participate in couples therapy remotely, via phone/video call, text, or chat.

Takeaway

Wanting to rekindle love with someone who you care for after a break-up is a reasonable desire that does have the possibility of being fulfilled if your ex also feels the same way. However, sometimes, no matter how strongly we feel for another person, they may not want us back. There may also be good reasons to move on if your relationship was particularly stagnant or unhealthy. What is important is finding closure and continuing to grow as a person. If you are stuck, you can always reach for professional help when you are ready.