Are You Falling In Love Too Fast?

By Hailey Davis|Updated June 17, 2022
CheckedMedically Reviewed By Robin Brock , LISW

The time when you fall in love is exciting, thrilling, and can cause your stomach to turn to butterflies. Research has shown that it can affect the human brain when you fall in love, similar to using cocaine. It can feel like a high. This is why when you fall in love, you almost feel like an addict. You can’t stop thinking about your partner, and you feel at your happiest when you’re together. New romances are intoxicating, and it can be difficult to think clearly and rationally in this phase. How do you know when you’re falling too fast?

Unfortunately, no “standard” amount of time is appropriate for a couple to feel like they are in love because every relationship is different. Some couples take years to get to this point, and others seem to take only days. Regardless of how long you’ve been with your partner, if you feel like you’re in love, but you’re afraid it is happening too fast, there are some things you should consider.

How To Know If You Are Falling In Love Too Fast

Wondering If It's Too Fast?
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All the telltale signs are there: the butterflies, the racing heart, that euphoric feeling when your partner is around. You’re pretty sure you’re in love, and it feels good. But you still have some reservations. You wonder if your relationship is moving too fast. You don’t want your feelings toward your partner to be solely based on emotion and no reason. You know that sometimes the infatuation of new love can cloud your vision and prevent you from seeing the potential warning signs before it is too late. However, there is a way to think rationally about your relationship and some things to watch to help you know if you are in love too fast.

You Don’t Know Much About Your Partner.

Obviously, you’re extremely attracted to your partner. Their good looks are probably one of the first things that attracted you to them. Physical attraction isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it is healthy in a romantic relationship. But, the longer you are with your partner, the more your relationship should go beyond what you can see on the surface.

Are you able to have deep and meaningful conversations with your partner, or is your relationship mostly about physical attraction? Unfortunately, it is possible to be sexually intimate with somebody without really knowing them, even in a relationship. Be sure that your infatuation with your partner is not just based on an intense physical desire. You need to know your partner’s passions, what makes them tick, and who they are as a person. If you don’t know your partner very well, but you still feel like you’re falling in love, be careful. Please slow down and get to know them before you allow yourself to get carried away emotionally.

You Are Willing To Overlook Red Flags

Infatuation can make you do silly things. When you fall in love, it seems like you will do just about anything to make your significant other happy. Obviously, it is good to go out of your way to make your partner feel loved and appreciated, but this can go too far if you aren’t careful. You may be allowing your partner to take advantage of you without even being aware of it. It’s also easy to overlook personality flaws in your partner if you fall in love too quickly because irrational emotion will impair your centers of reason. What may be charming now could be your worst nightmare later, as demonstrated in Dr. Wendy L Patrick’s article in psychology today.

Before you fall in love with someone, you should be sure that a foundation of respect has been secured in your relationship first. You shouldn’t be allowing your partner to violate your boundaries just because you feel like you’re in love. You also should make sure that you both share the same values and that you won’t be asked to compromise what’s important to you to make your partner happy. You may think it’s fine to overlook the red flags now, but there will be a time when the warm and fuzzy feelings will fade. When this happens, you’ll be left with no choice but to acknowledge the problems with your partner and your relationship, but by this time, it may be too late to fix it. If you find yourself excusing bad behavior and ignoring red flags in your relationship, then you are probably falling too fast.

If You Are Not With Them, You Feel Lost

When you fall in love, it’s normal to want to be with your partner as much as possible. Obviously, you’re not going to have a successful relationship if you don’t enjoy spending time together. Be careful, however, that your world doesn’t just revolve solely around your romantic relationship. If you are abandoning other friendships and important relationships because you can’t bear to be apart from your significant other, this may be turning into an unhealthy obsession.

You can’t rely on your partner to provide all the meaning in your life because they are human and can’t live up to that task. It is important to be your autonomous person and find happiness and more than just your relationship. If you find yourself in this situation, you need to pump the brakes because you’re too dependent on one person. If you allow yourself to continue down this road, it could severely damage your emotional well-being, as well as the other important relationships and priorities in your life. Take your time ease into your serious relationship, and don’t put all your worth into the relationship.

You Get Upset When Your Partner Is Busy

Another sign that things could be moving too quickly is if you can’t tolerate your partner doing things without you. If you are hurt or angry when your partner tells you that he or she is busy, this is a sign that the proper amount of trust has not yet been established in your relationship. You should not fall in love if you don’t feel secure enough in your relationship to allow your partner the autonomy they need. If you are constantly plagued by jealousy when your partner can’t spend every waking moment with you, it is a sign that your relationship probably needs more time to cultivate trust and understanding. Give it some time before you fall in love.

How To Know You Aren’t Falling In Love Too Fast

You can’t deny that at some point, you will fall in love. This is an unnerving thing because you don’t know if this feeling is merely based on physical attraction and overhyped emotion or something deeper and more trustworthy. You want to know if it is merely infatuation or if it is the real deal. Thankfully, there are things to look for in your relationship that will let you know that you aren’t falling in love too quickly, that your feelings are healthy, and that it is the right time.

Your Partner Treats You Well

Number one, your partner should treat you well. Don’t settle for a relationship where somebody takes advantage of you, doesn’t respect your convictions, and couldn’t care less about what is important to you. Your partner should listen attentively when you speak and be concerned about making you feel respected and appreciated. If your relationship has been established on compassion, kindness, and mutual respect, you can feel good about falling in love because these are the foundational things in a strong and lasting relationship, the things that will endure past the infatuation phase and will help your love flourish even through the tough times. If your partner does not treat you well, it is highly recommended you attend couples counseling so you can learn to treat each other with respect and communicate healthily.

You Know A Lot About Them

Wondering If It's Too Fast?

Some relationships blossom out of already established friendships, where the two people already have a lot in common. Some begin as romantic entanglements, where the two are mere strangers and have to learn a lot about one another. Whichever relationship you might find yourself in, the bottom line is that you must know your significant other.

You may be extremely physically attracted and even emotionally attached to your partner, but have you taken the time to get to know them? Have you met your partner’s family yet? Do you know your partner’s passions, dreams, and motivations? It’s important to know somebody before falling in love with them. You need to be sure that you can support your partner in their ambitions and that you can embrace who they are as a person. Otherwise, you may be surprised down the road by how incompatible you both are. If you know your partner well and feel that your relationship passes the compatibility test, you aren’t falling in love too quickly.

You Are Aware Of Their Flaws And Embrace Them

They say love is blind, but that is a load of bologna. Infatuation is blind. Infatuation ignores reality and refuses to see the imperfections that reside in the object of its desire. You know you are merely infatuated when you blind yourself to what lies before your eyes to preserve your feeling of attachment. The reason people say that love is blind because when people choose to love, they often see things in their stark reality but choose to love anyway. The flaws that they see don’t affect their devotion to the people they love.

The truth is that nobody is perfect. That means your partner isn’t either. Do you see your significant other through a realistic lens? Before falling in love, you should know your partner well enough to be aware of their flaws. You need to be willing to accept your partner’s shortcomings and embrace who they are, foibles and all. You will know you aren’t falling in love too quickly if you fall in love with your eyes wide open.

Falling In Love

Typically, when two people fall in love too quickly, there is some unhealthy relationship. When you don’t know your partner or ignore their bad qualities, you fall in love too quickly. Truthfully, when you fall in love under the right circumstances, have a healthy relationship with someone, and fulfill your needs in a partner, you can’t fall in love too fast. Just take your time, ease into the relationship, and find out if your partner is the one for you. This way, you will know your feelings are right on time.

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