Are You Falling In Love Too Fast?
The time when you fall in love is exciting, thrilling, and can cause your stomach to turn to butterflies. Research has shown that it can affect the human brain when you fall in love, stimulating the reward circuit area of the brain and causing a rush of good feelings throughout the body. In a sense, falling in love can feel like a natural high which can almost feel addictive, You find yourself thinking about your partner all the time and you are at your happiest when you are together. New romances are intoxicating which may make it difficult to think clearly and rationally in this phase. When these feelings hit you hard, you may begin to wonder if you are falling in love too fast.
Unfortunately, no “standard” amount of time is appropriate for a couple to feel like they are in love because every relationship is different. Some couples take years to get to this point, and others seem to take only a few days. Regardless of how long you have been with your partner, if you feel like you are in love, but you are afraid it is happening too fast, there are some things you should consider. This article will help you to identify signs you are falling too fast and how to manage these feelings in a clear mind but open heart.
How To Know If You Are Falling In Love Too Fast
All the telltale signs are there: the butterflies, the racing heart, that euphoric feeling when your partner is around. You are pretty sure you are in love, and it feels good. But you still have some reservations. You wonder if your relationship is moving too fast.
You may also care for your partner and want to make sure your feelings are not solely based on emotion without reason. You may understand that the infatuation of new love can cloud your vision and prevent you from seeing the potential warning signs before it is too late. However, there is a way to think rationally about your relationship. Here are some signs to watch out for to help you know if you are thinking you fall in love too hastily.
You Need To Know Your Partner On A Deeper Level
Obviously, you are extremely attracted to your partner. Their attractiveness is perhaps one of the first things that drew you to them. Physical attraction is not necessarily superficial and can be healthy in a romantic relationship. However, the longer you are with your partner, the more your relationship should go beyond what you can see on the surface.
Are you able to have deep and meaningful conversations with your partner, or is your relationship mostly about physical attraction? It is possible to be sexually intimate with somebody without really knowing them, even in a relationship. If you want to have a meaningful relationship based in love, be sure that your infatuation with your partner is not just based on an intense physical desire. Get to know your partner’s passions, their dreams and future goals, who they are as a person. If you do not know your partner very well, but still are convinced you are falling in love, be careful. Please slow down and get to know them before you allow yourself to get carried away emotionally.
You Are Willing To Overlook Red Flags
Infatuation can make you do silly things. When you fall in love, it seems like you will do just about anything to make your significant other happy. Obviously, it is good to go out of your way to make your partner feel loved and appreciated. But you may miss things that are wrong if you are not careful. You may be allowing your partner to take advantage of you without being aware. You may overlook personality flaws in your partner if you fall in love too quickly because the feelings associated with infatuation may impair your centers of reason.
Be clear with your boundaries and do not allow your partner to them just because you are distracted by your new feelings of love. You may think it’s fine to overlook the red flags now, but there will be a time when the warm and fuzzy feelings will fade. When this happens, you still will have to acknowledge the problems with your partner and your relationship, but by this time, it may be too late to fix it. If you find yourself excusing bad behavior and ignoring red flags in your relationship, then you are probably falling too fast.
If You Are Not With Them, You Feel Lost
When you fall in love, it is natural to want to be with your partner as much as possible. Obviously, you are not going to have a successful relationship if you do not enjoy spending time together. Be careful, however, that your world does not just revolve solely around your romantic relationship. If you are abandoning other friendships and important relationships because you can’t bear to be apart from your significant other, this may be turning into an unhealthy obsession.
You do not necessarily want your partner to provide all the meaning in your life because they are human and can’t live up to that task. It is important to be your autonomous person and find happiness and more than just your relationship. If you find yourself in this situation, you need to pump the brakes because you are overly dependent on one person. If you allow yourself to continue down this road, it could severely damage your emotional well-being, as well as the other important relationships and priorities in your life. Take your time ease into your serious relationship, and don’t put all your worth into the relationship.
You Get Upset When Your Partner Is Busy
Another sign that things could be moving too quickly is if you are unable to tolerate your partner doing things without you. If you are hurt or angry when your partner tells you that they are busy, this is a sign that the proper amount of trust has not yet been established in your relationship. If you are plagued by jealousy when your partner is unable to spend every waking moment with you, it is a sign that your relationship probably needs more time to cultivate trust and understanding. Give it some time before you fall in love.
Knowing When You Are Not Falling In Love Too Fast
If you are reading this, you probably are experiencing feelings for someone that seem like love, or you are looking for love in the future. You may not know what love feels like and are trying to decipher the difference between love and infatuation. Not knowing if this feeling is merely based on physical attraction and overhyped emotion or something deeper and more trustworthy can be confusing. Thankfully, there are things to look for in your relationship that will let you know that you are not falling in love too quickly, that your feelings are healthy, and that it is the right time.
Your Partner Treats You Well
Number one, your partner should treat you well. Don’t settle for a relationship where somebody takes advantage of you, doesn’t respect your convictions, and couldn’t care less about what is important to you. Your partner should listen attentively when you speak and be concerned about making you feel respected and appreciated. If your relationship has been established on compassion, kindness, and mutual respect, you can feel good about falling in love because these are the foundational things in a strong and lasting relationship, the things that will endure past the infatuation phase and will help your love flourish even through the tough times. If your partner does not treat you well, it is highly recommended you attend couples counseling so you can learn to treat each other with respect and communicate healthily.
You Know A Lot About Them
Some relationships blossom out of already established friendships, where the two people already have a lot in common. Some begin as romantic entanglements, where the two are mere strangers and have to learn a lot about one another. Whichever relationship you might find yourself in, the bottom line is that you must know your significant other.
You may be extremely physically attracted and even emotionally attached to your partner, but have you taken the time to get to know them? Have you met your partner’s family yet? Do you know your partner’s passions, dreams, and motivations? It’s important to know somebody before falling in love with them. You need to be sure that you can support your partner in their ambitions and that you can embrace who they are as a person. Otherwise, you may be surprised down the road by how incompatible you both are. If you know your partner well and feel that your relationship passes the compatibility test, you aren’t falling in love too quickly.
You Are Aware Of Their Flaws And Embrace Them
You probably have heard the saying “Love is blind”, but this is not necessarily true. Infatuation is blind. Infatuation is the overwhelming amorous feeling you get when you first fall for someone. It is intense, and it quickly subsides. It is during this stage of a relationship when people may miss signs of problems and not see flaws in their partner. Infatuation ignores reality and refuses to see the imperfections that reside in the object of its desire. You know you are merely infatuated when you blind yourself to red flags or flaws before your eyes to preserve your feeling of attachment. However, when these euphoric feelings subside, you may be surprised by the reality of certain flaws and be unable to tolerate them.
The reason people say that love is blind because when people choose to love, they often see things in their stark reality but choose to love anyway. The flaws that they see do not affect their devotion to the people they love. The truth is no one is perfect, including your partner. Do you see your significant other through a realistic lens? Before falling in love, you should know your partner well enough to be aware of their flaws. You need to be willing to accept your partner’s shortcomings and embrace who they are, foibles and all. You will know that you are not falling in love in haste if you fall in love with your eyes wide open.
Asking For Professional Advice
When you realize that you are falling in love too fast, it is not about trying to stop yourself from falling, but time to step back and assert a slower pace. As long as the new relationship is otherwise healthy and there are no red flags, you and your new partner may be eager to move forward. If you are unsure how to direct a relationship toward moving at a healthier speed, reach out to a trusted person and do not hesitate to consult a counselor or therapist.
Therapists, such as those who work through Regain.Us, will bring a third-party perspective to the relationship, can help you create realistic, healthy expectations within your relationship while guiding you on your journey to discovering what authentic love feels like. If you are unsure about what a healthy love relationship entails, you may find it beneficial to speak with a licensed therapist. They can assist you in exploring how your past may be affecting your current outlook on love and potentially interfering with moving understanding the true meaning of love in relationships.
There are many convenient ways that you can seek out therapy, including online therapy. A study published in the peer-reviewed research Journal of Clinical Psychology examined information from over 100 different online counseling trials. This study found that overall attitudes between both counselors and participants were as positive as with in-person counseling. Additionally, online therapy is one of the most popular and cost-effective methods for getting help. This allows you to talk to a therapist online in several different ways. You can receive video chat therapy, phone therapy, text messaging therapy, or email therapy.
You may not know your partner well enough or ignore their bad qualities when you fall in love too quickly. Truthfully, when you fall in love under the right circumstances, have a healthy relationship with someone, and fulfill your needs in a partner, you simply cannot fall in love too fast. Just take your time, ease into the relationship, and find out if your partner is the one for you. This way, you will know your feelings are right on time.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Is falling in love too fast a bad thing?
If you fall in love and move too quickly, the relationship may crash and burn. While you do not have to stop yourself from falling in love, try to take things slow so that you truly get to know the person you are entering a new relationship with. One of the biggest potential risks of getting into a relationship that moves too quickly is getting overly involved or enmeshed with someone before you truly know them. People reveal who they are over time, which is why it is important to give each other time to get to know your partner before jumping in full force.
Another potential risk is ignoring warning signs – sometimes, major warning signs. When you fall fast, passion overtakes logic, and if possible, this is something you want to avoid. This does not mean you are not ready for love. You are likely very ready for love, and you know that you are falling for this person in particular. Even when it is hard to slow down, you will thank yourself for moving slow. Whether you fall in love and have a vibrant, healthy, long-lasting relationship, or you avoid a toxic or even dangerous situation by moving at a balanced pace, you will thank yourself. Enjoy the beginning stages of a relationship and know that, if it is meant to be, you and your new sweetheart will have time.
How do I stop falling in love too fast?
While you may not necessarily be able to stop yourself from falling in love, you can prevent yourself from moving too fast. Instead of trying to stop yourself, think about the benefits of slowing down for the health of your relationship. If you feel like you are falling in love, you probably want to make sure that this partnership will be a long-lasting and healthy one. Since moving too fast can be detrimental for relationships, keep that in mind and pace the budding relationship accordingly. Often, when you fall in love and see that you are moving too fast, there is a voice in your head saying, “but, I trust them. This is different.” However, the fact is that no matter how ready for the love you are, and no matter how much you are attracted to this person, there are potential risks when it comes to moving too fast. Again, perhaps you cannot stop yourself from falling in love, but you can manage your actions. Acknowledge the risks and remember that if this is the passionate, caring connection you think it is, you want to do everything possible to nurture it and keep it healthy – including taking it slow.
Why did I fall for someone so fast?
There are several reasons someone may fall for a person quickly. Here are some of them:
You hit it off right away. Sometimes, there really is an apparent connection early on. This is a beautiful thing to cherish, so instead of moving quickly, savor the moment instead of moving fast.
You are not over your ex (or they are not over theirs). You have likely heard of a rebound relationship - and this could be what is going on. If there is any possibility that you are not over your ex, put work into it and take new relationships slowly and cautiously.
There is a problem. If someone tries to get too close too soon – perhaps, they introduced you to their family when you haven’t even been together for two weeks, or they say things like: “You are my soulmate”. At the same rate, they may be over-involving themselves in your decisions. You may also be opening up about all your vulnerabilities long before you usually would. All of these are red flags. Be careful. Talk with your partner about moving at a slower pace, put boundaries in place, and if they are unwilling to receive said boundaries, run.
Falling fast is a pattern. If this is not new and it seems that any relationship you get into is one that progresses at a rapid, fiery pace – you are consumed by passion and are enamored by the new person you are seeing – it could be that you have a pattern of getting into relationships quickly. If you notice you have this tendency, you can make a conscious choice to move more slowly.
How do you know if you are falling in love too fast?
If you are worried that you might be moving too fast, you are probably right. Often, this inkling is your intuition, which is an important sense to honor. Other signs that you are falling too fast include not knowing that much about the person you are dating, exhibiting signs of codependency, overlooking warning signs such as controlling behavior, possible ulterior motives on their end, obvious lies, manipulation, or making big milestones that typically occur later in a relationship. Another thing that can help you determine if you are moving too fast is to pretend that this is a relationship held by a trusted friend or family. If they were in a relationship that was moving at the same pace, would you be concerned? The same may help you recognize warning signs. If it was your best friend, would you be able to see the red flags from a mile away? If so, do not ignore it.
How does a man act when he’s falling in love?
When a man is falling in love with you, he will be very attentive. He will want to hear what you have to say, eager to talk to you, and excited to see you. Additionally, the way he looks at you will show it. Another sign is that he is talking about a future with you. As long as this happens at an appropriate pace, it means that he is invested in you and wants you in his life long-term. Of course, make sure that his displays of love and affection are moving at an even pace. If he is showering you with intense, passionate love right away and is introducing you to his family within a week or two, again, this may be a warning sign. This is called love bombing, which is a manipulation tactic.
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