Should I Get Back With My Ex? Five Things To Consider Before Getting Back Together

Updated March 19, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Whenever a relationship comes to an end, experiencing a series of emotions is completely natural. In light of this history, wondering whether or not you should get back with your ex can be tempting. The truth of the matter is that there is no one answer to this question. Additionally, no one can make this decision for you. Whether or not you and your ex decide to give your relationship another try will ultimately depend on the two of you; however, there are still some important details that you should be aware of.

 Making your decision with a clear head

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Is giving the relationship another try a good idea?

Regardless of which decision you make, you must go into things with a clear head. This will ensure that you're confident and able to make a choice which is most beneficial to yourself and your quality of life. Of course, there are important factors to keep in mind; these factors will be covered momentarily.

Ultimately, the relationships that you choose to maintain will impact your life, whether for better or for worse. People on the outside looking in will undoubtedly have their own opinions and perspectives on what they think you should do. However, what you want comes first and foremost. It's also important to remember that to get back with your ex; the decision must be mutual. If you want to restore the relationship with your former significant other, but they don't want to restore the relationship, it won't work out. Of course, the same principle applies if your ex wants to get back with you, but you don't want to get back with them.

Important things to consider before getting back with your ex

Doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results is not effective. This is true even when it comes to thinking of getting back with an ex. For this reason, being aware of the following details will certainly prove to be advantageous as you make a decision that will impact you both in the short term and the long term.

Knowing why the relationship ended is imperative

All relationships come to an end for one reason or another. One common problem in a relationship is jealousy or having another person. Another possible reason is the issue between money and relationships. Before you decide to rush back to an ex, you need to consider if the factors that caused the end of a relationship have changed. This will largely determine whether a potential second shot of a relationship turns out to be a success or a failure. Sometimes, relationships initially end for reasons that are changeable later down the line. Sometimes not. Regardless of which category you fall into, taking the time to reflect will certainly help you in the present and the future.

Of course, if the relationship ended as a result of mistreatment or abuse, then getting back with your ex is not a good idea. Abuse in any relationship is extremely dangerous on multiple levels. It is not uncommon for significant abusive others to persuade their partners back into relationships and then continue the cycle of mistreatment. In this type of situation, cherishing yourself, loving yourself, and knowing that you deserve better is imperative. It may take time, but at some point, you will find someone who knows how to treat you well in a relationship.

The growth of both you and your ex makes a difference

As we go through life, each one of us should be growing and evolving as individuals. This will inevitably impact the dynamics within certain relationships. For these reasons, considering whether you and your ex have grown makes a difference. It's not uncommon for people to enter a relationship at one point and then eventually grow apart. In other situations, people can grow as individuals, yet remain compatible with one another.

Again, there is no one answer to this circumstance. If you and your ex have both grown since the inception of the relationship, considering whether you both are compatible enough to get back together will be helpful. This isn't necessarily a decision that should be made quickly or lightly.

Really taking time to think about this and consider everything will be good for both you and your ex. If you two do wind up getting back together, then you'll be returning to a relationship with clarity, certainty, and understanding. If not, then you'll know that the relationship with your ex has run its course and something better awaits you later down the line.

Reasons why you want to give a relationship another try matter

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Many people fail to realize this, but the motivation behind wanting to get back with an ex is always relevant. There are many situations where people rush into a relationship for the wrong reasons, and it only hurts them in the long run. If you and your ex truly love one another and feel as though you have a true bond, this may be a good reason to consider giving your relationship another try. However, if the desire to return to a relationship has to do with money, the fear of being alone, or something else along these lines, getting back in this partnership is ill-advised.

You and your ex should acknowledge your shortcomings in the failed relationship

In the majority of cases, both parties play a role in the events which lead to the end of a relationship. For these reasons, if you are considering getting back with an ex, both you and your former significant other need to acknowledge the mistakes that were made in the relationship and caused the end of the relationship. Doing this comes with a series of benefits, namely the assurance that similar toxic patterns won't repeat themselves if you both decide to give the relationship another go.

You don't have to make the decision right away

Deciding whether you want to get back with an ex can be a time-consuming process. Going over the various elements that contributed to the end of a relationship and other relevant factors is important. When people rush, they tend to make mistakes, which cost them later down the line. If you are unsure of whether you want to give your relationship another try, this is normal and perfectly OK. There is no rush to make a decision. Take all the time you need to determine whether or not getting back together with your ex is the right call.

Relationships and life

There's no denying the immense impact that relationships have on people's lives. Many people find happiness, satisfaction, and fulfillment in relationships, and there's nothing wrong with this. However, as human beings, we need to remain open to the reality that not all relationships are meant to last forever. Certain relationships happen for us to grow and learn about ourselves as human beings. These types of relationships typically last for a season and allow us to become better versions of ourselves. Knowing whether your relationship with you ex is meant to last for a season will prove to be advantageous to you.

Another thing to keep in mind is that there is more to life than dating and relationships. These are parts of life that can be significant, but there's still a whole other world out there. Throwing yourself into work, taking up a new hobby, or spending time with your family are each part of life that can fulfill you outside of a relationship.

As you are enjoying your life, you may meet other people who turn out to be better for you than your ex was…and that's OK. Life comes with many unexpected twists and turns; sometimes, one relationship must come to an end for another one to begin later down the line. Remaining open and receptive to what life has to offer will always serve you well.

 Seeking professional counsel

Getty/AnnaStills
Is giving the relationship another try a good idea?

There will inevitably be certain times in life where you feel uncertain or confused. If this sounds like you, it's important to feel comfortable enough to seek professional help. Whether you realize it or not, online couples therapy with Regain can prove to be advantageous, regardless of whether you're facing relationship challenges or other issues altogether.

Online therapy comes with a series of benefits for recipients, namely the ability to get help from a therapist regardless of who you are or where you live. The truth of the matter is that everyone faces challenges and setbacks, no matter where they live or what their situations are. It's important to be aware that you may not expect or like everything that a specialist has to say, but it can still benefit you in the long run. Despite the world which we live in, you do not have to go through struggles on your own.

Help and support will always be available to those who ask for it.

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