"Should You Get A Divorce" Quiz: Be Careful With This

By Corrina Horne |Updated June 21, 2022
CheckedMedically Reviewed By Lauren Guilbeault, LMHC

The decision to get a divorce is a big one and can leave you wondering "Should I get a divorce?" Getting a divorce can also be a major source of pain, contention, and uncertainty during the divorce process. Some people believe that divorce is never the best solution, regardless of the circumstances involved, while others believe that divorce is often the best solution for a marriage that is doomed to fail. Few people, though, enter into a marriage believing that theirs is going to end in divorce and be among the divorce statistics so often cited by people unsure about marriage, which begs the question: how do you decide when to get a divorce? Can an online quiz really help you decide whether to divorce your spouse?

The Most Common Reasons to Divorce

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How Can I Tell If My Marriage Is Over?
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Divorce statistics are often incorrectly cited as involving half of all marriages, when the statistics are closer to 1/3 overall, and differ dramatically based on age, with the majority of divorces occurring in individuals over the age of 50. Within these statistics are the reasons most couples give for divorce. Although the most common filing complaint is "irreconcilable differences," embedded within the legal term is plenty of frustration, conflict, and difficulty, most of then not clearly delineated within a divorce agreement.

Financial Stress

Finances are one of the biggest reasons for divorce. Couples fight over money more than most other topics, and finances can be an enormous source of tension and conflict in any couple, even outside of marriage. Within a marriage, though, the question of how to handle money often arises, and many people who marry have very different ideas of how money should be handled, including frugality, splurging, what constitutes a necessity, and how much of the money coming in should go to saving and investing. Finances can be an intense determiner in whether or not a marriage will last.

Issues With Infidelity

Infidelity is also ranked high on the list of complaints when couples divorce. Whether infidelity is a one-off mistake or a habitual behavior of one spouse, it often sparks a fire in one or both partners that are only quelled by separating and leaving the relationship behind. Although infidelity is statistically more likely to be indulged by the male in the relationship, men and women both cheat and men and women both decide that the marriage cannot survive this type of indiscretion.

Loss Of Intimacy

The loss of intimacy can also lead to divorce. Couples who no longer talk, no longer share their lives together, and no longer have a sexual relationship often consider divorce, as these are the basic foundations for having a mutually satisfying relationship. In some cases, the reasons for the breakdown of these parts of the relationship are not able to be fixed, changed, or rectified, and a couple decides to take the steps to divorce.

When Is It Time To Divorce

Wondering whether or not you should divorce your spouse? What are the most common reasons people separate from their spouse?

Despite there being many readily-identifiable reasons for divorce, there is usually not a single timeline or single definition of when a couple should actually get divorced, nor is there any real "Is it time for a divorce" quiz. This is often a matter of priorities, belief systems, and support systems. If a person has a strong religious belief in marriage, and a family with a similarly structured belief in marriage, divorce might function as a last resort. Someone without these convictions, however, might consider divorce sooner in the relationship, when issues seem to just keep growing and growing.

Most people will agree that abuse is grounds for divorce and that staying in an abusive marriage is not healthy or safe for either of the involved parties. Some partners separate for a time, while the abuser gets help from a mental health professional in order to form healthier habits, while others are desperate to regain some sense of health and normalcy, and leave the marriage behind in favor of starting a new life. If you are abusing your spouse, or you are being abused, the first step is getting space from your partner, and seeking help. From there, the question of divorce can be discussed and determined.

Determining the so-called "right" time for divorce often involves the help of a therapist, such as those employed through Regain.Us. Therapists can help couples improve communication, determine exactly what it is that they want from themselves, their relationship, and each other, and work toward reconciliation or take steps toward dissolving their marriage. Bringing in a neutral third party can be enormously helpful in making the decision to get a divorce, and is usually a part of the process.

When to Fight Against Divorce

There are times when both you and your spouse should fight for your marriage. The most common reason to fight for marriage is both of you want the relationship to work. Although it might seem easier or more convenient to get divorced than to put in the time and effort required to upright a marriage that has long been tipping over, divorce is just as complicated and difficult as working on a marriage. If one or both of the people in the marriage want to try to work their problems out, this is a great reason to fight for your marriage.

Many couples also fight for their marriage, rather than immediately leaping to divorce, when children are involved. Because many child psychologists have found that children's minds process divorce as a form of trauma, parents are usually encouraged to first try to make their marriage work, then move on to divorce if reconciliation is not possible. Again, the reasons for reconciliation not working are numerous, and rarely fall into a single category, but even marriages that have infidelity involved can recover, and go on to be lasting, healthy partnerships.

Why A "Should You Get A Divorce" Quiz Is Problematic

Deciding to get divorced is a huge decision, and one that will have an impact on virtually every aspect of your life-your family, your friends, your career, and even your mental health, physical health, and spiritual beliefs. Many people linger around the decision for weeks, months, or even years before taking the plunge, because it is such an incredible, life-changing step to take. With this in mind, it might be tempting to turn to a simple divorce quiz that can offer black-and-white advice as to whether or not your marriage is doomed, but staying away from this type of advice is likely going to serve you better in the long run.

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How Can I Tell If My Marriage Is Over?

Divorce quizzes run the gamut, from the simplistic quizzes offered on quasi-news sites, to the more refined quizzes offered by sites covering mental health topics, or offering advice regarding marriage or divorce. In both cases, though, the quiz is striving to quantify something that cannot be readily summarized, surmised, or identified without a great degree of introspection and discussion on the part of both you and your spouse. A "when to get a divorce" quiz might be useful in providing you with a jumping-off point for your decision, but should not be used as a deciding, definitive factor in moving forward with a divorce, or staying in your marriage and working to improve your relationship.

How Divorce Affects Your Emotions

Divorce and the process leading up to it is going to be turbulent. Your emotions and your spouse's emotions are going to be, in turns, riotous, deadened, dull, and fiery, and these are all normal, expected things to feel. It can be harmful, though, to base your decision to divorce entirely on your emotions, as there is some amount of rational thought that goes into the particulars of divorce, and failing to account for and utilize rationality can leave both you and your partner with a divorce that is too fast-paced to properly utilize healing techniques, including therapy, rest, and introspection.

Although it is impossible to go through a divorce without having any feelings about the matter, gaining perspective is important. Perspective can come from family, friends, mental health professionals, and even marriage counselors, who have been known to offer their professional opinions regarding the likelihood of a marriage's success after spending time with the couple in question. Making the decision to divorce, then, should not come on the heels of a divorce quiz, or your own turbulent emotions, but should come as a result of careful thought, consideration, and planning.

Knowing When To Divorce

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Knowing when to get a divorce and when to fight for your marriage is arguably the most difficult aspect of deciding how to navigate the issues in your relationship. Both divorce and reconciliation have their good points and bad, and making the decision is far more than a matter of taking an internet quiz, talking to a friend, or searching for your feelings. Instead, knowing when to get a divorce relies upon a time, communication, and the multitude of factors going on and working in your unique situation, some of which might be able to resolve, and others that cannot be fixed or repaired.

Divorce should never be taken lightly, just as marriage should never be taken lightly. The decision to get a divorce is incredibly personal, complex, and painful, and making that decision is far more than taking a quiz, feeling pain, or feeling distant from your partner. It is an evaluation of an entire life together and determining whether or not that life is one you are willing or able to pursue.

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