Guy Texting Advice: 9 Ways To Keep Him Engaged In Conversation
Medically Reviewed By Lisa Childers, LCSWMeeting a new guy is terrific, and you want to keep getting to know him better. Even if you have gone on one or two dates, it's still essential to use texting to your advantage. It's a perfect way to learn more about someone, and you can use it to advance the relationship. What do you do when a guy doesn't seem like he is engaging in conversation through text messages, though? How do you get him to pay attention and keep him interested?
Look at the guy texting advice that has been compiled below. These can be helpful to keep him engaged in a conversation with you. You should be able to use a combination of several of these ideas to help keep your texts fresh. This advice can also be helpful in establishing a long-term relationship with this guy. Read through all the different approaches you can take and then decide how you want to message him.
1. Be Upbeat
One of the most important things to remember about texting a guy you like is that it's best to be upbeat. There is nothing wrong with being real sometimes when you're having a rough day, but you don't want to send low-energy texts all the time. If you're looking for advice to keep him engaged, you need to consider that the texts you've been sending haven't been engaging. Try to be fun and positive so that this energy will rub off on him. He should respond in kind and will text back.
Talking about fun things or positive things steers the conversation toward what you're wanting. Learning how to drive a conversation through text messages is not easy for some people. Unlike talking to someone in real life, you aren't going to judge body language through messages. You must try your best to be fun and show your personality with your words. Some people use emojis or GIFs to help give text messages a bit of personality. You can develop your own style that works well for you over time.
2. Talk About Common Interests
Talking about shared interests is going to be an excellent way to keep him invested in the conversation. Do you both like similar music? Perhaps you start talking about the new album you've been continuously streaming. Even talking about your favorite TV shows or something like that can be a great way to connect. This might seem like a filler conversation to some, but it's a terrific way to keep people interested. Texting doesn't have to be about the relationship all the time. Sometimes it's good to have fun and share some laughs talking about something that brings both of you joy.
If you don't know whether you have common interests yet because your relationship is very new, you can find common ground. Learn his favorite bands and movies. You'll eventually find areas where you have overlapping interests, and you can then start talking about those. Having more reasons to connect with him will help keep him talking, and he should be more interested in the conversations when talking about his favorite subjects. You could even take an interest in things that he likes that you aren't familiar with, but it should come from a genuine place if you decide to go that route.
3. Ask Fun Questions
Asking fun questions is a fantastic way to get to know a guy. New relationships can be exciting, and getting to know someone's personality is a thrill. There are many questions that you can ask to get to know him better. Playing a simple texting game where you ask questions back and forth can be fun. It can even become a bit flirty if you wish to steer things in that direction. The "getting to know each other" phase of the relationship is usually very engaging. Encourage him to get to know you more and ask him questions that will allow you to learn about each other's personalities.
4. Make Him Feel Special
Making him feel special is going to be helpful, too. If you want him to know that you like him and that he means something to you, then you can send texts that reinforce that notion. Something as simple as a goodnight text can make a guy feel like he is cared for. You could also send supportive texts when you know he will work or that he has a test at college. These small gestures can help to keep him interested in what he has going on with you.
It's also good to let him know when you're thinking of him. If you're already somewhat romantically involved, then you can let him know when you're missing him. This might make you feel vulnerable to admit your feelings, but being real is crucial when you want to take the relationship to the next level. If he feels the same way, then he's going to appreciate how you're making him feel. You're showing him that his time is valued and that you're looking forward to getting more of him sometime soon.
5. Give Him Space When Necessary
There is such a thing as texting someone too much. You might be a big texter, which could lead you to send more messages than this guy can handle. Some men are not as interested in text messaging back and forth as others. Your guy might be busy with work, and he might be too tired to text a lot when he gets home for the day. If this is the case, then you might want to hold back and text him a bit less than you usually would. You don't want him to feel like you're overbearing.
Also, texting all the time isn't necessary to have a healthy relationship. Even if you're dating, there might be days where your guy will want to spend time with friends or family. Some couples text every day without fail, and it feels completely natural. What will be natural for two remains to be seen. Don't try to force him to text all the time if he doesn't want to. You'll end up having the opposite effect that you're hoping for. Most guys enjoy texting people that they like, but you might need to show some restraint depending on the situation.
6. Avoid Fighting and Drama
Some people tend to get overly dramatic. If you get emotional sometimes and wind up lashing out on the phone, this could be bad. Everyone has emotions, and you shouldn't try to deny how you feel about things. Even so, drama playing out through text messages doesn't really do your relationship any good. Try to keep things fun and positive with text messages, if possible. If you have some serious issues that need to be addressed, it might be better to do that.
Fighting over text messages is the worst. You might even have a harder time coming to an agreement when you're just texting. If you sense a disagreement is on the horizon, then tell him that you can talk about the subject later and move on to something else. It will be better for your burgeoning relationship if you keep the text space as something you both look forward to.
7. Make Plans Together
Another way to keep him interested is to advance the relationship by making plans. Use your texts back and forth to plan out your next dates or the next time you're going to hang out. Let him know that you're looking forward to seeing him and build these plans up. It's going to help him look forward to seeing you, too. You can discuss what type of dates you're interested in going on, and you should be able to plan some enjoyable activities.
8. Don't Be Afraid to Flirt
Flirting over text is something that is going to keep him interested. Many people love to flirt with their love interests using text messages. This could mean that you're sending him simple compliments sometimes, or it could be something a bit more risqué. Depending on how far your relationship has developed, you might be willing to flirt with this guy through texts. If you're interested in him romantically, then your conversations might have a naturally flirtatious tone, to begin with.
9. Sending Pictures
Sending pictures is another fun way to engage with your guy through texts. You don't have to send him pictures that could embarrass you in the future, but sending him a pic of you when you think you're looking cute makes sense. He will likely reply by sending you pictures sometimes. This is a fun way to build anticipation for your next few dates. You're attracted to each other, and you can engage in a fun and flirty picture exchange if you so choose. Just try to keep things tasteful and remember that sending lewd pictures is ill-advised, especially if you haven't been dating this man for long.
Online Relationship Counseling Might Work Too
If you're dating this guy and don't seem to have excellent communication skills, you can get some help. You could turn to online relationship counseling to get some assistance. A counselor like this can work with you and your boyfriend to help you develop better communication over time. Your online counselor will work with you on any nagging issues that might be keeping your relationship from reaching the next level. There is no reason to face things alone when a professional can work with you whenever you happen to have free time.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How do you keep a guy interested over text?
One of the best ways to keep a guy interested in the text is to develop an easy-going give-and-take in your text conversations.
First, give him your attention by showing interest in him and his interests, preferences, and activities. Listening is a valuable skill that makes people feel cared for and appreciated. You can listen over text by waiting for him to respond, paying attention to what he texts, and responding in pleasant ways. But to listen, you need something to listen to. Ask questions about what he likes. For instance, you could say, "I was listening to song x. Do you like it?" Or, you could say, "What do you think of our football team this year?"Then, when he texts back, let him know you paid attention by saying something brief about what he just said. If you don't understand, ask a simple question.
Next, share with him about yourself and what you like. Rather than sending him a long, multiple-page text, text him a few words about something you like. For instance, you could say, "I went to x concert last night, and it was an awesome show." Then, wait for him to text back before you mention it again. If he wants to know more, you'll know when he mentions it in another text. But even if he doesn't seem to notice what you said, he still might have read it and thought about it. This makes you more authentic and understandable to him because he now knows more about you.
To keep it light-hearted, be sure you don't monopolize the text conversation. You can make it easier for him to play an equal part by waiting for him to respond and answering relevant questions or reflections of what he said. Avoid arguments and criticisms and stay positive and upbeat. You also need to stay as calm as possible While texting won't show your muscle tension or body language, the words you use and how fast you send messages may show that you aren't really comfortable. But don't worry about it. Instead, try some calming techniques. You can take a few deep breaths, sit back, and enjoy your text conversation.
You can also make all your text conversations better if you work on your self-esteem when you aren't texting. If you feel good about yourself, others are more likely to feel good about you, too. And if your self-esteem doesn't rely on connecting with this one guy, you won't sound desperate or needy. A therapist can help you learn to build your self-esteem and start feeling complete within yourself.
How do you know if a guy likes you while texting?
You might not even know if a guy likes you through texts alone, but you might get some clues. For instance, if a guy likes you, he's more likely to respond. And if he responds by asking you questions about yourself, it's an even surer sign that he wants to know more about you. If a guy initiates a text, even if it's just to share a joke or a funny meme, it means at the very least that he is interested enough to connect with you over text voluntarily. He is seeking you out, whether it is as a friend or something more.
Based on feedback from guys on a Reddit thread, Elite Daily listed several clues that might show a guy is interested in you.
- They get into the flow of constant communication.
- He responds right away.
- He hints that he likes you by texting regularly and being a little flirty.
- Almost every day, he tries to get into a long conversation with you.
- He isn't quick to end the conversation – in fact; he's obviously trying to keep it going.
Should guys initiate texting?
Yes, guys have just as many reasons and rights to initiate texting as females do. And females appreciate receiving a text as much as guys do.
Most women and girls enjoy getting texts. Even if you are more interested in the physical aspects of the relationship, there is a good chance that she is very verbal. Females tend to want to learn about your character, who you are, whether you are confident and self-assured. Texting first is a great way to make an impression, and there is really no reason why a guy can't be the first to do it.
How often should a guy text you if he likes you?
There is really no hard and fast rule for how often a guy should text if he likes you. Putting that expectation on him can make it harder to have a connection with him at all. Remember that not everyone likes to text. Some people don't like how easily words alone can be misinterpreted over text. Others like to talk to you over the phone or in person. And some people feel talking in person is more fun and exciting. So, the first thing you need to do is get to know him in the way that is most comfortable to him and comfortable enough for you.
Usually, when a guy likes you and doesn't mind texting, they will text you at least three times a day. They will send a good morning text, a good night text, and another text sometime during the day. But again, it does not help anything demand that he texts you an exact minimum number of times during each day. Instead, go with the flow, reach out to him sometimes, and respond in a nice way when he does text.
Do guys like it when girls text first?
Yes. Most guys do like it when girls text first. After all, guys are human, just like girls, and humans crave attention. Guys tend to feel that girls appreciate them and think they are worthwhile when they get the first text. Also, many guys dislike the old rules of dating that say they should initiate all contact with girls. That rule puts a burden on them, and it means that they have to take all the risks in the relationship. So, yes, most guys like to get a text first, just like girls do.
