When It Isn't Just Friendship: Signs A Woman Is Attracted To Another Woman
In an age of increasing acceptance of many different types and expressions of sexuality, there is still some amount of concern and confusion regarding attraction, friendship, and when and how the line becomes blurred. Reaching out to someone else romantically carries with it the potential for rejection, hurt, or confusion, but same-sex couples might feel additional confusion and concerns regarding how they will be perceived or treated. Exactly what are the clear-cut signs that a woman is attracted to another woman? In this article, we’ll be exploring that question.
The Basics Of Attraction
Attraction is a three-pronged experience involving someone’s physical, emotional, and mental functions. You can be attracted to someone in one of these arenas and not in the others, and many long-standing relationships involve all three of the arenas being stimulated and captivated.
Physical attraction is the attraction most likely to go uninfluenced by any other system. Although it can develop on the heels of mental or emotional attraction, physical attraction is usually instantaneous, powerful, and persistent. Physical attraction often provokes sweating, a racing heart, and may not feel entirely unlike anxiety or confusion.
Mental attraction is the attraction to someone’s mind. Most commonly, people refer to intelligence or wit as sources of mental attraction but might also indicate general speech patterns and communication styles as windows into mental attraction, as well. A large part of someone’s personality can be encompassed by mental attraction.
Emotional attraction may also be labeled as spiritual attraction, and usually refers to the essence of a person, or the “kind of person” they are. Kindness, benevolence, confidence, and traits such as these often fall under the purview of emotional attraction, and it is these traits that typically hold steadfast when the other means of attraction have fallen away.
Female Speech: Verbal Indications Of Attraction
One of the most striking verbal indications of attraction is simple attention. If someone keeps in regular communication, strives to speak on a regular basis, and tries to get to know you as much as possible, they may be demonstrating their attraction to you. Regular communication can be one of the first indications that a relationship is in its early stages, as constant communication comes from an overwhelming desire for “more, more, more” of someone.
Plenty of women are forthright in their communication, too. Some women might regularly indicate their interest in you with simple comments, such as “I like you.” This could certainly mean that they like your friendship and value your company, but could also be a clear indicator that they have an interest in you and are not just being friendly. Pay attention to the way this phrase is delivered (Is it casual, serious, or a mix of the two?) and the context (Are you alone? Amongst friends?) in which it is delivered to derive a more accurate idea of how they mean it.
If a friend is interested in you, they might also seem to discuss their sexuality with you on a regular basis. Rather than it being occasionally mentioned or accepted as a part of who they are, you might find that they seem to talk about it more than you would consider standard when you are around. This could be done as a means of demonstrating to you that they are interested in you in a way that extends past friendship.
Female Body Language: Signs Of Attraction
Body language can be an important indicator where the attraction is concerned. Just as you might expect yourself to lean into a potential partner, make excuses to touch, or make excuses to be close, you can expect another woman who is attracted to you to do the same. Rapt attention, a gentle touch, and leaning in closer can all be signs of strong physical attraction.
Don’t ignore a woman’s eyes when you are searching for a window into attraction. Women are more likely to look deeply into the eyes of someone they are attracted to and are also more likely to keep their gaze focused on someone they are attracted to. If you see a woman regularly looking you over, paying close attention to you, or looking directly into your eyes, you might be in luck; eye contact and attraction are closely tied.
Female Emotional Patterns: Friendship And Attraction
This can be the most difficult aspect of attraction; because many women prefer women as their confidants and closest friends, it can be easy to misread friendship and emotional attraction. Feeling safe, free, and connected can happen in a friendship just as often and easily as in a romantic relationship, so emotional attraction can be more difficult to determine.
That being said, most couples agree that a strong, powerful friendship is the most important factor in determining whether or not a relationship can last and should be considered when looking for a partner. If your relationship feels like a close, incredible friendship, that alone could be an indication that they feel a romantic interest, too; many of the strongest and most stable relationships come from friendship.
When trying to determine whether a friend is interested in you, you may be able to tell by their actions. A woman who is interested in you and has more on their mind than friendship will likely remember things about you that others (or you yourself) might consider forgettable. Your female friend might remember the favorite flower that you mentioned offhand the first time you met and bring you a lone flower one day. They might remember the day your cat died the year before and send you a text to let you know they are thinking of you. They might even remember that your fondest memory is gardening with your parents as a child and get you a tiny plant with a giant grin and tongue-in-cheek comment. All of these could indicate that you are on their mind, and that they are going out of their way to connect with you.
Additional Factors To Consider
Although there has been undeniable progress made toward equal rights regarding same-sex couples and there is, arguably, more inclusion now than at any other point in the past century, there are still many people who cling to outdated, erroneous concepts of attraction, love, and partnership. For this reason, the symptoms of attraction might differ from person to person, region to region, and setting to setting. For instance, someone who is at a bar designed for inclusivity might give themselves the freedom to be more forward in their approach than someone who is at a typical bar with mutual friends. Someone in a known safe space may behave differently from someone in a new or unknown situation. When trying to identify attraction, the setting and air of the room can matter a great deal.
One of the clearest ways to know if someone is attracted to you is to communicate. Although doing so opens you up for rejection, it can be a far more direct, simple pathway to understanding, connection, and the possibility of moving forward. These types of conversations do not have to bear intense emotional weight, and they do not have to be awkward. You can also ask, using language as honest and open as, “I feel like there might be something here. Are you attracted to me?” While you might worry a “no” is humiliating, dragging out worry, confusion, or fear for months could be far more detrimental.
Many women do not feel safe or comfortable being open about their romantic relationships, and behaviors might differ from one place to another. If you are unsure or uncomfortable about changes in the behavior of your love interest, this, too, can be addressed and discussed. While it might seem more romantic or traditional to give attraction and romance a great deal of mystery, communication can help paint a clearer picture of the situation.
Attraction can be a finicky, strange thing, and it can shift and ebb in its expression and over the course of one’s life. There isn’t single way that any person, regardless of gender, age, preference, or expression demonstrates interest, as the level of interest, the type of interest, and the goal of interest all vary from person to person and relationship to relationship. Paying close attention to the verbal, emotional, and physical cues being offered to you, as well as the things that are clearly communicated to you, can be a productive way to find out what someone’s intentions are.
Online Counseling With ReGain
If you are struggling to connect with others, and you seem to consistently misunderstand the intentions, experiences, and wants of other people, it is possible to make improvements in these areas. Being able to interpret and understand the behaviors of others can help you honor their boundaries and make wise decisions. Therapists, such as those found on ReGain, can help you develop the skills needed to accurately and carefully “read the room,” and determine who genuinely seems to be interested in you, and who is offering friendly, engaging, or otherwise kind communication and interactions. Regain is online counseling platform that lets you connect with your counselor through video chats, phone calls, or in-app messaging. You can send a message to your counselor anytime you’re feeling unsure about a situation, and they will get back to you as soon as possible.
The Efficacy Of Online Counseling
Online counseling has been shown to be an effective resource for individuals experiencing a wide range of issues. One study explored the efficacy of online cognitive behavioral therapy (ICBT) for LGBTQ+ youth. Researchers have determined that ICBT can successfully treat conditions like anxiety and depression, which are more common among the LGBTQ+ population. CBT is a framework used in therapy that encourages people to choose helpful thoughts over negative, unhelpful ones.
Many friendships start and end with two people who never experience any kind of attraction toward one another. However, some friendships develop into something more. Every woman expresses their interest in different ways, and it may be difficult to pick up on the signals someone is trying to send. What matters most is that boundaries are respected, and each party feels comfortable. Those struggling with feelings of attraction or rejection could benefit from online counseling. Happy, healthy relationships and friendships are possible with open communication, trust, and reciprocity—all of which can be learned or improved upon in counseling.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you tell if a woman is attracted to you sexually?
There are many signs that could indicate a woman finds you sexually attractive. Here are some signs a woman is attracted to you:
When you’re talking to them, they lean their body in closer.
They might play with their hair, curling it around their finger.
They may touch your arm and give you their full attention.
They might hold eye contact with you, even from across the room.
They may tell you they find you attractive.
If a woman makes you feel special or gives you more attention than others, it’s possible they’re into you. People of all genders use their physical presence to show they like a love interest. When a woman is attracted to you, odds are they’ll find a way to show you. Therefore, try to be on the lookout for it.
How do you know if a girl likes you but is hiding it?
Some women are shy, which may make you question whether they like you. They may also be afraid of rejection and therefore avoid disclosing their feelings for you. There are some signs to be on the lookout for when you suspect a girl secretly likes you. They may try to spend more time with you, call or text you more, or become more flirtatious or touchy. Every girl is different and signals their interest in unique ways. If you’d like to know if someone likes you, you may consider directly asking. If they are too shy or nervous to admit their feelings, they may need time to feel more comfortable being open with you. In some cases, initiating the conversation yourself can move the relationship forward.
How do you tell if a woman is attracted to you by her eyes?
When a woman is attracted to you, she may make eye contact with you and hold it for an extended period. Making eye contact with someone signals their interest in you. The eyes can communicate on their own and send different messages. However, if a woman is into you but struggles with shyness, she may avoid making eye contact. Therefore, it can be important to consider other details and factors to get an accurate assessment of the situation.
What is an unspoken attraction?
Unspoken attraction happens when you and the other person know you like each other. There may be matched body language or tangible chemistry. If you feel something in the air, like electric energy, that could be a sign of an unspoken attraction. You don’t necessarily need to talk about it, but both of you know it’s there. It can still be crucial in these instances to ensure that you and your love interest are on the same page.
How do you tell if she has feelings for you?
A sure way to know if she has feelings for you is to ask her how she feels about you and see what her response is. You could also ask her out on a date and see if she accepts. It can be helpful to be open and honest about your feelings and intentions. If she has feelings for you but you don’t share them, communicate that directly to avoid hurt feelings and mismatched expectations.
How can a girl hide her feelings?
Anyone can hide their feelings regardless of their gender. A girl might hide their feelings when they’re shy, nervous, or worried about being rejected. If a girl is hiding their feelings, you can’t force them to be open with you. You can, however, develop a sense of trust in the relationship, which may encourage them to be vulnerable about how they feel.
How do you know if a girl really likes you?
One of the surest ways to find out if a girl really likes you is by asking them out on a date, or even asking them if they like you. Although people can hide their feelings, being direct is an example of healthy communication and gives both people an opportunity to come clean. If a girl reciprocates your advances, they may like you back. You can also sense their feelings toward you through their body language and other signs, although these can vary from person to person.
How do you know if an attraction is mutual?
If you express you are attracted to someone or make advances toward them and they return them, they might also be attracted to you. There are many different signs of attraction, including open body language, changes in voice pitch, dilated pupils, and an increased desire to spend time together. If you each show an interested in getting to know one another or being closer, the attraction may be mutual.
How do you tell if someone is attracted to you?
There are many ways to tell if someone is attracted to you, but these can vary according to the individual. Someone might give you lots of compliments, ask to hangout with you more often, try to move closer to you, or ensure they look their best around you. Perhaps they fumble their words or get nervous when you two are around one another. These could all be signs that someone would like to make a positive impression on you. Sometimes, attraction is clear and direct, while other times it can take some time to figure out.
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