Have you ever met someone and instantly felt attracted to them? Or talked to someone online that you were super excited about, and as soon as you met them, you just knew that you weren’t attracted? That is the science of attraction at work. There are some different features about the people you meet that your subconscious mind forms opinions about before realizing it. That’s why the reaction seems instantaneous because consciously, you don’t know what it is about them that suddenly attracts you (or detracts you).
To put it very simply, the science of attraction is what tells you, as soon as you meet someone, whether you’re attracted to them or not. It’s where love, at first sight, comes from, where that instant dislike for someone comes from, and a whole lot more. But in truth, there are a lot of different things that go into it. Even though you don’t notice, all of your senses are tuned in to that person, and they all get to weigh in on the decision about what you think.
Yes, the way someone looks has the most important role in whether or not you like them. It may seem shallow or like something you would never do, but it is a very common aspect. What may make you feel a little better is that it is not just one body type or look that everyone is looking for.
Healthy, clear skin, bright eyes, and shiny hair are some of the most important features, and they can encompass a range of different body types, eye colors, hair colors, and skin colors (plus more). It is also found that people who have a good childhood will be more attracted to people they think has common features with their opposite-sex parent.
Eye contact is an important factor of attraction as well. If eye contact is sustained with a person for longer than a few seconds, there may be something there. No, this does not mean that the guy who is always staring at you wherever you go should be your next big love interest. You may want to talk to someone about him because he sounds like a stalker. If you look at someone across the room, and every time you look, they look away because they were looking at you, this is also a sign of attraction.
Yep, the way that someone smells has a role in how you feel about them as well. There are two different aspects to what you smell on a person, and it has nothing to do with their cologne or perfume. Instead, the first is about their immune system. Yep, you can smell their immune system. Bet you did not know your nose could do that, did you? Women tend to be more attracted to a man whose immune system is the opposite of hers, and she can smell that.
Pheromones are the second aspect of smell when it comes to picking a mate. These are the smells that you do not consciously notice, but they can play a role in how you feel. They are chemicals that leave your body and can be received by someone else. Women can smell testosterone, or rather the metabolites from testosterone, which signal strength. Men can smell copulins, which is a pheromone produced during ovulation in women. So yes, men are more attracted to ovulating women, but they do not even realize it is happening.
The way someone sounds is likely to attract you as well. Men tend to like women with higher-pitched voices. Women tend to like men with deeper sounding voices. It makes sense, and it is hard-wired. Women have a hard time forgetting men with a deeper voice, and research has found that the deeper the voice, the more a woman will remember. It is something happening when you listen to how they talk, and it can continue as you talk to them more or listen to them even more.
Is that other person laughing, or do they make you laugh for no reason? Do you find yourself laughing at their stupid jokes even though you know they are silly? That is a sign of attraction. It could be nervousness because we all know that we get nervous when we are around someone we like, even if we do not know that we like them. Or maybe they seem to laugh differently with you than they do with others. This is the science of attraction at work.
Finally, we get to touch. We are not talking about touching that other person, though. We are talking about the things that you are touching when you come into contact with that person. Were you holding something hot or cold? Were you sitting somewhere comfortable or not?
These things can impact how you feel about a person instinctively and how you judge them as well. This is true even in less romantic relationships and occurs when you’re meeting new people in general. You will want to try keeping comfortable and sticking with warm rather than cold items to keep yourself more interested in the person.
However, touching each other is another sign of attraction. If you accidentally brush up against someone or your fingers touch for just a second and you feel a tingle of excitement, you are attracted. That tingle of excitement is your hormones telling you that you are interested in this person and that they may be into you too.
If the person goes out of their way to casually touch you, they are probably attracted to you and try to give you a hint. Take the initiative and touch their arm or hand and make eye contact with them and see where it goes from there.
Finally, when everything else is over, and you have intrinsically started to make up your mind about the person, the first kiss will seal the deal. How the kiss goes will cause you to decide whether or not you move forward with the relationship or whether you want to cancel things before they get started. In fact, over 50% of men and women (59% of men and 66% of women) say they have ended a relationship because of the first kiss. That is a lot of pressure, but it is not all on you; it is also on your date.
Different Types Of Attraction
However, there are different kinds of attractions. Sexual attraction is the easy one to figure out. This is the kind of electrical attraction you get when you want to be sexually intimate with someone else. This is an automatic response similar to breathing and eating, and you cannot stop it. However, you can control it, and you should because this attraction can get you into trouble if you react too quickly. You need to have other forms of attraction as well for a good relationship.
Romantic attraction is the feeling of being interested and caring about that other person. You may also feel sexually attracted to this person, but you also want to be around the other person in general because you like them. This is where the difference between lust and love comes into play. Lust is when you are just sexually attracted to a person, but love is when you like the person and are interested in more than just sex.
For example, you may feel a motherly attraction to someone younger who seems to need help or comes to you for advice. This is a form of emotional attraction. It drives us to be open with each other or invites others to open up to us. Did you ever notice that some people feel like they can tell you anything? Or maybe you feel like you can tell someone else things you would not tell anyone else. That is an emotional attraction.
Opening Up To Others
If you are struggling with opening up to people, you must reach out for help. There are plenty of amazing people out there in the world, and finding someone for you is going to be possible. If you are struggling, however, it may be time to seek out professional help. Finding a professional that you can feel comfortable with may make it easier for you to open up to others and feel comfortable meeting others. There is no reason for you to be alone when so much more is possible.
ReGain is a great way for you to get the mental health support that you are looking for. No matter what you are currently going through, there are professionals out there who can help you. With them, you will be able to connect with a professional from anywhere you feel most comfortable (as long as you have internet access).
That is because ReGain is a completely online service where you can reach out to anyone about anything and feel comfortable. You can be sitting in your favorite chair, in front of the TV, at the kitchen table, on vacation, at a business retreat, or anywhere at all. You will not need an appointment or have to leave the house at all. The only requirement is an internet connection and a willingness to help yourself.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What Makes You Sexually Attracted To Someone?
The sexual attraction is part of the science of love and is linked to several hormones related to sexual health. Dopamine is the reward hormone released when we do something that makes us feel good, such as sexual intercourse with sexual partners. Norepinephrine is also released during the sexual attraction, and the combination of the two hormones makes you giddy when around someone to whom you are sexually attracted.
What Are The 5 Types Of Attraction?
The five types of attraction are:
How Do You Know A Man Is Attracted To You?
Signs you are attracted to men or a particular man include:
What Makes A Man Attractive Physically?
The physical traits that make a woman attracted to men vary based on the woman, as women are attracted to different physical features. That said, some common physical traits women are attracted to men are:
What Are The Stages Of Attraction?
The five stages of attraction are:
Can You Be Sexually Attracted To Someone But Not Physically?
Physical attraction is not necessarily required for sexual attraction between sexual partners since physical attraction is based more on the desire to be around other people and want affection, versus sexual attraction, which is being pulled toward someone in a sexual way. In general, a woman can be sexually attractive to men, or a man can be sexually attracted to women of a certain type or even physically attracted to women. Still, the varying kinds of attraction stand alone on their own accord.