What Are Signs Of Attraction And How Can I Understand Them?
By: Abigail Boyd
Updated November 30, 2021
Medically Reviewed By: Melinda Santa
Many of us want to be noticed by those around us, but we're just unsure how to go about it. Maybe we're being noticed already, but we just aren't picking up the signs. What if someone were to look at you from across a room? Would you know if they were interested? Well, these are some of the most common signs of attraction that you should be looking for, so you can see just what you might be missing when it comes to recognizing the signs of attraction.
Signs of attraction are pretty universal between all genders. Body language is mostly subconscious, as in, the person doesn't think about it and may not realize they're showing their attraction. Body language is like the language of attraction, and once you learn it, you can be more aware of how others perceive you. From an evolutionary standpoint, we are designed to read each other's emotions through our body language.
How Knowing The Signs Of Attraction Can Be Helpful
Dating can be a stress-inducing and difficult process, especially if you've experienced rejection or don't have much experience. You may have great conversations with someone and think you feel a spark, but how do you know if the other person is interested in you too? Nobody wants to be rejected or misread signals. Knowing the common signs of attraction and what to look for in your potential love interest can give you more confidence and the ability to identify when someone is worth pursuing.
Knowing the signs of attraction isn't just helpful when you're single, either. If you're in a relationship, this knowledge will help you determine whether your partner is as into you as they claim to be. It can also help gauge your body language when with someone to ensure you're putting forward the right impression.
Signs Of Attraction
Okay, so that doesn't mean that every person who looks at you is interested in you, but if the eye contact is sustained, that means something. In general, human beings don't tend to stare into each other's eyes, and that means if someone is, you may have a good thing going. You don't only have to look for continuous eye contact or an unyielding stare, but a healthy amount of eye contact is a sign that they're interested in what you have to say and possibly more. Also, studies have shown that when someone is intensely attracted to another person, their pupils may dilate slowly, another sign to be on the lookout for.
This sign is more commonly seen in women than in men, although men can sometimes display it, depending on their personality. Those with shy or socially anxious tendencies may find eye contact with someone they're attracted to intimidating. If you catch the person you're interested in a glance at you and then quickly look away when they catch your eye, it could be a sign of attraction.
Some people like to find a way to touch you if they are attracted to you. That doesn't mean they'll be hanging all over you, but it does mean that they'll find a reason to reach out and touch your arm or a reason to brush close to you. Little touches that are usually short and fleeting are a good sign, especially if they seem to be repeated and are accompanied by some of the other signs that we're going to talk about here. It could mean something important.
Another great way that you might know someone is interested in by their laugh. People tend to laugh more when trying to show they are happy, positive, and interested. When you make jokes or comments, and they laugh or giggle, it could be a sign of nervousness and interest. This is especially true if you notice the laughter along with some of the other signs (like the touching we just mentioned). Someone might laugh a little differently, such as longer or higher pitch or even short as a nervous gesture if they are attracted to you.
Turning Toward You
Someone who faces you is definitely interested in the conversation. They show that they are polite about it, but turning directly toward you and even leaning toward you slightly is a sign that something else is going on entirely. This isn't necessarily a decisive one, but it could be a sign if you notice it in conjunction with other things. This is especially true with women, and they tend to turn their entire body or turn their legs in your direction if they happen to be sitting down. You may also notice their feet pointing toward you.
This one is true with men or women, and you'll generally see fidgeting in the way they touch their face, their hair, their clothes, or anything else about themselves. They'll constantly be moving, shuffling their feet, moving from one to the other, playing with their hands, or repeating the same gestures or motions again and again. You'll want to pay attention to this because it's a good sign that they don't know what to do around you, and they might be feeling a little bit nervous. As a result, they continue to fidget.
Lowering Their Voice
This one is usually displayed by males, with the equivalent being a soft tone from women. Some men will naturally lower their voices to a deeper register when they are in the company of someone they're attracted to. This may or may not be a conscious reaction. If you're speaking with a guy and you notice his voice seems deeper than usual, it could be a sign of attraction.
Blushing can be embarrassing for the person who has to cope with it, but it can be a sign of attraction, especially among women. Some people are more prone to blushing than others, and it's not the only attraction that causes this phenomenon. Blushing occurs when a stimulus causes blood to rush into the cheeks, which a strong attraction could cause to the person they're talking to.
This one is especially true with men more than women, but we've all heard about how men will do silly, foolish things when they're trying to get attention from a woman. They might make a big show of trying to do something, or they may dress differently. A man might do absolutely anything that he thinks will get another person to pay attention to him or at least notice him. If he can be noticed, that's the first step to getting positive attention and possibly attracting you to him as well. The things he does may not be totally interesting to you, but he'll probably try a few things until something works.
Standing Up Tall
Men will generally try to make themselves a little bigger, stronger, bolder, or in any way more attractive when they find you attractive. They may stand up straight to make themselves look taller, pull their shoulders back to stick out their chest, suck in their stomach, or anything at all. The point is that they're trying to get you to notice that they look good, and they're doing it in any way that they can. They want to make sure that you see them at their absolute best rather than just as average.
Studies have shown that when a person is attracted to someone nearby, their pulse and respiratory rate increase. This is a tricky one to spot, but if you're near the person you're attracted to, you may be able to notice that their breathing has sped up by the cadence of their speech or the rise and fall of their chest and shoulders.
Mirroring refers to mimicking the other person's movements. For example, if you gesture with your hands, the other person gestures with their hands. Or they may adopt the same posture as you. As with most of these signs of attraction, mirroring is performed without conscious thought. While engaging with the person that you're interested in, check-in with yourself and see if the other person appears to be mirroring your body language. If so, there's a good chance that they are interested in you.
Signs Of A Lack Of Attraction
Now that we've discussed the common signs of potential attraction, it's also important to be able to recognize when the person you're interested in is giving off negative signals. This can help prevent you from wasting your time pursuing someone who isn't attracted to you. While these signs aren't always indicators of how someone feels about you, they may serve as red flags:
- A lack of eye contact that seems intentional
- Arms crossed tightly over the chest
- Leaning away
- Bored expression
- Seems to be "tuned out" of the conversation
If you notice any of the above signs, it's not necessarily a deal-breaker. However, it might be a signal that you should proceed cautiously.
Recognizing these signs of attraction can be helpful when it comes to dating, but it's only one piece of the puzzle. If you're having difficulty expressing attraction or recognizing attraction, you can seek out professional help in the form of mental health professional. There are plenty out there, but it's not always the easiest to find someone you can feel comfortable with.
That's why ReGain is one of the best places that you can look to find a professional. You'll be able to talk with someone, and you'll also have a resource for plenty of mental health articles, information, and a whole lot more. You won't have to worry about finding the answers to your questions with the help available.
ReGain is an entirely online service that allows you to connect with a mental health professional located anywhere in the country. At the same time, you're also located anywhere in the country. You won't have to worry about making it to your appointments or trying to reschedule around storms or sudden business trips.
You can log in from anywhere that you have an internet connection, and then you'll be able to conduct your appointment and get back to whatever you want to do. There's no reason to wait around an office or drive to an office either. You sit back and enjoy yourself in the comfort of your own home.
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