How To Get Over Your Ex Boyfriend

Updated May 4, 2023by Regain Editorial Team

Getting over an ex can be difficult, especially if you're newly single after a breakup and the wound is still fresh. It doesn’t matter the breakup circumstances – who initiated it or the reasons for the breakup – most breakups can make for a difficult time for everyone involved.

Stuck In A Post-Breakup Rut?

When navigating a break-up, you may find yourself with many questions. You may wonder why you can't get over him and get on with your life. Perhaps you’re asking yourself if getting past an ex entails forgetting everything you have been through together. Before worrying about getting over your ex-boyfriend, you may need to understand why you may still have feelings for him in the first place. 

Why Do You Pine For Your Ex-Boyfriend?

There could be plenty of post-breakup obstacles that can keep you from getting over an ex-boyfriend. Before the process of learning how to get over your ex-boyfriend can begin, you may need to first understand why those feelings of longing still exist:

Loneliness. Loneliness is a common reason people struggle to heal from a past relationship. Being lonely might make you feel like you’ll never find love again. You may start to catastrophize the situation and convince yourself that you’ll spend the rest of your days alone. When you feel lonely, it can be difficult to let the previous relationship go. It might not be easy to get over that feeling, but doing so can enable you to heal and move on. 

Social Media. Social media may make it even more difficult to move on from an ex-boyfriend. Following each other on various social media platforms is fine when you are together, but once the relationship ends, it can become problematic. You may find yourself checking their page to see what they’re doing or who they’re spending their time with. The ability to look into their lives through the lens of social media might become an unhealthy obsession, and it can make it feel impossible to move forward.

Only Remembering The Good Times. When a relationship ends, you may find yourself fixating on the good times you had with your ex. With these rose-colored glasses on, it may be difficult to remember why you broke up in the first place. The pain of the breakup may paint a skewed picture of the relationship that can make it harder to get over.

A Lack Of Closure. Sometimes, breakups leave one party left wondering what happened and where it all went wrong. In these cases, that person may desire closure. It could be helpful to remember that closure, while nice to have, isn’t a magic elixir. It could be helpful to know why a relationship ended, but it may not automatically make you feel better.

How To Get Over An Ex-Boyfriend

Despite the pain of a breakup, it is possible to move forward and start the healing process. Here are some things you can try: 

Cry. It’s okay to cry. Crying is a visceral reaction, one that provides catharsis and can help begin the healing process. It is how we express our hurt and cleanse our system of negative emotions. On the other hand, keeping those feelings contained may only lead to further pain and a longer recovery period. 

Eliminate Contact. A significant obstacle in moving on from an ex-boyfriend is maintaining contact with him. Eliminating all contact can be one of the most difficult steps to implement, but it may be necessary for your healing. This means cutting off any means of communication, including texting and social media. 

Try Not To Overanalyze. Another big obstacle when getting over an ex-boyfriend is the tendency to overanalyze the situation. You may have regrets about some of your behavior in the relationship. You might even wish you could go back and make better decisions. It could be beneficial to recognize that the past can’t be changed. This acknowledgement might help you focus on the future instead.  Instead of focusing on what was or what happened, think about what you can do and how you can improve both yourself and your relationships going forward. 

Stuck In A Post-Breakup Rut?

Try To Stay Active. Consider focusing your energy on self-improvement. Physical activity offers benefits for both our bodies and mind. When times are tough or you’re feeling particularly stressed, a good workout can help alleviate those feelings and provide a mood boost. Physical exertion can also be cathartic and can help remove some of the stress of the breakup. Staying active can help you get over an ex while improving your overall physical and mental well-being as well.

Think Of Their Faults. One of the difficulties of getting over an ex is that we tend to reminisce about their positive traits and ignore their negative qualities. This can be counterproductive to the healing process. Thinking about those negative attributes—those things that may have contributed to the breakup—

can help to put in perspective why the relationship ended. 

Online Counseling Can Help

Getting over an ex-boyfriend is rarely easy. Some people may need additional support when processing the negative emotions that accompany a bad breakup. Talking to a therapist or counselor can be a positive step towards healing from a failed relationship. These mental health and relationship experts can help you better understand your feelings towards your ex and begin to put them in the past.

It can be hard to keep an appointment with a therapist when you’re going through a breakup, though. You may not want to leave your house when you’re feeling so vulnerable. Online counseling could be the solution you’re looking for. With internet-based therapy, you can attend sessions from the comfort of your home. It might also be more convenient since appointments are available around the clock. 

Web-based therapy has been proven an effective alternative to traditional therapy. One comprehensive meta-analysis followed nearly 10,000 individuals and found that they experienced nearly identical outcomes regardless of whether they attended counseling online or in person. 

Takeaway

If you’re struggling with a breakup, being single, or getting over an ex, consider online therapy. A professional who specializes in relationships can help you sort through your feelings and begin the healing process. Get matched with a compatible Regain counselor today and begin moving forward to the future you deserve. 

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