How To Get Over Your Ex Boyfriend

Updated March 25, 2021

Getting over an ex can be very difficult. It doesn’t matter the breakup circumstances – who initiated it or the reasons for the breakup – most breakups make for a difficult time in either or both lives.


Sure, some of those people get back together, and those people get married. But implementing boyfriend recovery measures is far healthier and more likely than getting back together. When people get married after breaking up, that works for them, but it is far from a regular occurrence.

So how can you get over your ex-boyfriend and get on with your life? Before you can worry about getting over your ex-boyfriend, you need to understand why you may still have feelings for them even when it doesn’t make the most sense in the world.

Why Do You Pine For Your Ex-Boyfriend?

There are plenty of reasons that keep you from getting over an ex-boyfriend. Before the process of learning how to get over your ex-boyfriend can begin, we must first understand why those feelings of longing still exist.

And while some people get married even after a breakup, that is a rare occurrence and can make it more difficult to get over the past relationship. What are those reasons people hang on even when getting back together with that ex is a distant possibility?

Loneliness. This is, without a doubt, one of the most common reasons, and it makes all the sense in the world. Being lonely can make us feel as though no one will ever come along again, that we will spend the rest of our days alone and that nothing will ever change.

When you feel lonely, like there are no other possibilities out there, it can be difficult to let the previous relationship go. You begin to reason with yourself that only that person can make you happy, that they can fill that need for companionship.

But that feeling of loneliness will only make it that much more difficult to get over an ex-boyfriend. It won’t be easy to get over that feeling, but doing so means getting over one of the largest hindrances that prevent moving on.

Social Media. The implementation of social media has made it more difficult than ever to move on from an ex-boyfriend. Following each other on all of these platforms is fine when you are together, but it can be difficult to move on when you see them on every social media platform when the time comes for a change.

This can be bad enough when you see them and what they are doing. If they have moved on and begun dating someone else, it can be downright debilitating. Being able to see what our ex is doing can make for an unhealthy obsession. And that unhealthy obsession can make it extremely difficult to ever move forward from that past relationship.

Only Remembering The Good Times. When we end a relationship, it almost does not matter how the relationship ended. Sure, relationships that end in a particularly unpleasant fashion can make it almost more comfortable to move on; both those don’t happen nearly as often as you would think.

When we end a relationship, we only think about the good times we had with our ex. And when we remember only the right things, we easily forget about all the reasons why that relationship ending was a good thing. The breakup paints a picture that is not accurate and skews our feelings on the relationship itself.

A Lack Of Closure. People can become obsessive over an ex for many different reasons, but one reason is that closure is unlikely. Most relationships do not end with that closure; one party is left to wonder what happened and where it went wrong.


But the truth of the matter is that closure will not be the magic elixir. It won’t erase the pain or longing for love. It is nice to know why a relationship has ended, but it won’t fix things automatically.

How To Get Over An Ex-Boyfriend

So, how can you truly move on from an ex-boyfriend, begin the healing process, and begin to move on with your life? There are plenty of suggestions out there that can help, and it is worth trying them so that you can start with the new life that you need to push forward and grow.

Cry. You have probably heard far too often that crying is not okay, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Crying is a visceral feeling, one that provides catharsis and can help begin the healing process. It is how we express our hurt and get it out of our system.

Keeping those feelings contained, bottled up, only leads them to push against the dam inside. Let them out, deal with them, and understand why you feel the way you do. It will help you experience significant growth to move on with your life and begin working towards a different life path.

Eliminate Contact. A significant difficulty in moving on from an ex-boyfriend is maintaining contact with that person. This is one of the most difficult steps to implement, but it is also one of the surest ways to begin moving on.

Eliminating contact with your ex-boyfriend is a real step. It’s not saying that you won’t talk to or see them. It is actually doing it. That step is a big one and is not to be underestimated, but it is also necessary.

And these days, it also means more than not talking to them. If you can, block them on social media to not accidentally see their profile and compromise your ability to move forward with your life. Getting over someone is hard, and there may not be a harder step than cutting off communications.

Talk To A Professional. Talking to a therapist or psychologist can be a great step to take. They can help you understand your feelings towards your ex and begin to move on, but they can also help you understand some of the other thoughts and feelings in your life.

Going to talk to a professional is difficult for many people, but it can be a hugely beneficial step. Finding professional help from services like ReGain can help find the therapist or psychologist who can help with the healing process and move forward.

Try Not To Overanalyze Or Regret It. Another big obstacle when getting over an ex-boyfriend is that we tend to overanalyze situations or have a lot of regret about the situations we have been in. But there is no changing those situations; they are in the past.


Instead of focusing on what was or what happened, think about what you can do and how you can improve both yourself and your relationships in the future. Repeating the same mistakes will result in the same broken relationships. Don’t spin in circles when a little bit of proper growth can go a long, long way.

Try To Stay Active. Being active has a lot of benefits for both our bodies and mind. When times are tough or feeling particularly stressed, a good workout can help alleviate those feelings of stress and focus on things.

The same mindset should be true for breakups. If you are trying hard to get over your ex-boyfriend, try to stay active. Getting in that physical exertion will allow you to experience a feeling of catharsis, removing some of the stress of the situation and allowing you to take a more focused look at the situation.

Getting over an ex usually isn’t achieved in one set, but several beneficial ones instead. Staying active is one of those beneficial steps that can not only help you get over an ex but improve your physical and mental well-being.

Think Of Their Faults. Okay, this might sound a bit harsh at first, but think about it this way: one of the difficulties of getting over an ex is that we think about the positive things about that person and relationship instead of realizing why it failed.

Thinking about those negatives, those things that ultimately may have contributed to the breakup, can help to put in perspective why the relationship ended. It may feel mean or unnecessary, but we need all the help we can get when moving.


Getting over an ex-boyfriend is rarely easy. Many of us go through the difficulties that come with a relationship that has ended and work through the path to growth in our own ways. Without those steps, we can find ourselves mired in a vicious circle that won’t end.

Take the time to focus on yourself, work on improving the areas in your life that need improving, and try to better ourselves so that future relationships can be healthier and more beneficial to both parties.

For Additional Help & Support With Your Concerns
Speak with a Licensed Therapist Today
This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.
The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.