Is There A Difference Between Being A Dad Vs. Father?
Medically Reviewed By Karen Devlin, LPCWhat's the difference between a dad and a father? Most people familiar with the terms "dad" and "father" have heard the frequently used quote, "Any man can become a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad."
This particular quote, along with several other quotes, statements, and jokes, tells us that many people feel that there is a big difference between the definition of a father and a dad. It seems that to most people, the word father has a negative connotation while the word dad is warm and loving.
What are the real differences between a dad and a father? Understanding the differences might encourage you to lean one way more than the other, but it can help open your eyes to the men you associate yourself with.
Knowing the difference is key to being the parent that you truly want to be.
What Are The Qualities Of A Dad?
If a great dad raised you, you likely know some of his best qualities and try to emulate them. Dads are great guys that have their priorities straight and understand what is most important in this life.
They love their children no matter what and teach them the ways of the world. So, what is a dad?
Difference with Fathers
Loving And Doesn't Hide Emotion
Dads openly love their children and have no problem with sharing it with the world. They often get emotional at moving moments with their kids.
A good dad hugs his kids and does not feel weak for doing it in public. He will show love in many forms: gestures, attentiveness, and verbal affection.
Being a dad is a role that is not given by accident. He may have been a tough guy before kids, but living with his children has developed a soft spot in him that has made him better than the person he was before.
He works at ensuring that his children know that they are loved.
Playful Dad or Fathers
A dad is a man that plays with his kids. He doesn't pass up the chance to get a laugh out of his children.
Whether it's having a tea party or playing ball with his little one, he develops a relationship that his children value almost as much as he does. Bonds are formed during laughter and happy times that kids won't forget.
Being a playful dad is fun for both the dad and the kids, but it makes parenting easier! Having a few minutes of fun will make your child more agreeable and distracts them from the issue at hand. Dads are seen to have this figured out!
Definition of A Good Listener
The best of dads listen when their children speak. It doesn't matter if they are two years old and babbling about nothing or 17 and dealing with their first heartbreak; a dad will listen to every word.
They do so actively and make their child feel as though there is nothing more important than what they have to say.
Good dads are often loaded with great advice. A lot of men have advice because of how well they know their children.
After listening to them and being fully present in their lives, dads better understand their children's personalities and strengths.
Protective Dad or Father
Dads are often seen as the protective, scary guy looking to terrify anyone that might hurt their kids. Other times, they are protective because they will kiss boo-boos and hold little hands when their children are scared.
A protective dad makes his kids feel safe. They know that their dad will not let anyone harm them.
A protective dad is also the guy that makes sure his kids are prepared for any situation. That might mean teaching his children self-defense, how to change a tire, or how to mow their grass.
Dads want their children to be prepared for life - for many, that comes across as protective. In reality, dads make sure their kids do not have to rely on other people to do everyday tasks.
Respects The Mother Of His Children
No matter the relationship between mom and dad, he always treats her with respect. They might be experiencing problems in their relationship, but he never mistreats her.
While relationship counseling might help immensely, even hard times require kindness. Demonstrating to your children how to treat others is an example that dads are half responsible for.
Dads teach their sons how a partner should be treated. They teach their daughters how they should expect to be treated. This is one of the most important things a dad can do for his family.
Qualities Of A Father
For some people, a father is simply another word for a dad. In modern explanations, however, fathers are the men that played a part in creating children. It has a negative connotation that dads like to avoid.
To be a dad, the following qualities should not be something that a man aspires to do.
When Dad or Father Is Asked To Be Present
A man should never have to be asked to be present in his children's lives. School plays, soccer games, and difficult homework should include the presence of both parents.
While it is understandable that he cannot be at every event, it should be prioritized.
A father in the modern sense is the guy that fails to see the importance of his presence in his child's life.
He might not see how important it is for him to be in the stands at a sporting event or make an effort to spend time with his children. He has to be told to do these things.
Has Priorities Over His Family
A modern father is an individual that has other activities, people, or things that take precedence over his family. It might be his favorite sports team, a new lady in his life, or even his Xbox.
Other priorities include alcohol addiction or drug habit. A father is a guy that fails to put his priorities in order when he has children.
If a man is missing out on important events in his children's lives because of something else that he finds more important, he is a father and not a dad. If he is missing everyday events that are not as important, he still should reevaluate his priorities. Being a dad requires being involved in the everyday just as much as the big things.
Selfish Definition: What is the Definition?
When a dad has a child, his selfish ambitions get placed on the back burner. When a father has a child, nothing changes. His money is his own, his time belongs to himself, and his interests remain the same. There is no desire for anything to change, so no effort is put forth in parenting his children.
Human beings are selfish creatures. However, when children enter the picture, parents become less selfish than they were. They must spend their hard-earned money on the needs of their children, give up their free time to take care of them, and even give up some hobbies and interests. A dad does this. A father does not.
Misses Important Events
Graduations, baptisms, championship games are treated as just another day of the week for fathers. They fail to see the importance of the event - or perhaps they fail to see the importance of their child. A father is a guy that has no interest in attending these events, so he doesn't.
A dad is always in attendance. Although a father can learn from a dad in all aspects of parenting, this is a good place to start. Fathers must attempt to be there for the big moments to take a step towards being a dad.
Too Busy For Family Time
A father might provide financially for his family by working non-stop, but a dad is someone who provides his time just as much as his paycheck. When work takes a father away from his family far too often, and he makes no attempt to lessen his workload, he finds himself too busy to spend time with his family.
A man that doesn't take the time to bond with his kids is a man that has strangers for children. He knows his kids as much as his kids know him - which is not at all. It is a sad way for a kid to grow up and a sad excuse for escaping parenting.
How Each Parenting Style Affects Your Children
Were you a child with a dad or a father? If you had a father, try to remember the disappointment that you felt. That disappointment likely faded until you sadly got accustomed to the fact that you didn't have a dad. In many cases, children with an absent father may experience depression or other mental health concerns. If you had a dad, you might have wonderful memories and a continued relationship to this day.
Does the kind of parent you had as a child affect the kind of parent you are today? Put, yes. Many men feel as though they want to do better than their father, so they work extra hard to be a dad. Others had wonderful dads and worked hard to be just as good. Sadly, some men find it challenging to emulate a dad's parenting style that they never had.
Do You Want To Be a Better Dad? How ReGain Can Help
It is possible to learn how to be a dad when you had no example. By simply making an effort to be there for your kids and making it a priority, you can be a dad. All of the other things will come. A therapist can provide support and help you with this journey.
Read below for therapist reviews of individuals experiencing similar issues.
Therapist Reviews
“Denae has a strong background in child psychology. We came to her because we're figuring out how to navigate our first year with a newborn together. She understands couples dynamics, personality styles and is very knowledgeable on secure attachment and how to raise a child to feel seen, understood, safe and heard. I Highly recommend this counselor.”
“Dr Bown has made significant impact in our lives and She is always giving honest advice and we feel she genuinely cares about our family. She is a valued treasure that we are grateful for in our lives :)”
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a dad?
The definition of dad might be summed up in the phrase "someone with a close, caring, supportive connection with their child."
A dad and a father are both names for a parent of the male gender. Yet, the idea of a dad and a father are not exactly alike.
The question of "What is a dad" can be a difficult one to answer. And the definition of dad isn't the same for everyone. But generally speaking, most people think of a true dad as someone who interacts with their children in positive ways that protect them, support them, and make them feel cared for and loved.
For a more detailed meaning of dad, dad (noun) could include the person's parenting style and the things they do for their children. In the sense of a loving dad, dad (noun) refers to someone who gives their child the right amount of attention, protection, and compassion.
Dads take responsibility for being there for their children. Fathers may take financial responsibility for their child without taking responsibility for any other aspects of their children's wellbeing. But there's a big difference between being there for them financially and being there for them emotionally. The difference between a dad and someone who doesn't take that role is that a dad cares deeply enough about the child to establish a loving connection with them.
Another difference between a dad and someone who is not really a dad is that the dad puts their children first. A true dad might have other interests outside the family, but they only pursue those hobbies and activities in ways that work well for their children. For example, a dad might like to play golf, but he would never go to the golf course if it meant his child would suffer in any significant way. Instead, the dad might spend some quality time with their child before he goes and finds a pleasant activity for their child to be engaged in while he's away. When the dad returns home, they greet their child first and give them a chance to talk about what happened and how they felt during their dad's absence.
One more good definition of a dad is someone who respects their children's mother and the family as a whole. A dad is a person who shows their children the most loving ways to treat their mother by modeling respectful behavior towards her. There's a big difference between reprimanding your children because they aren't showing her respect and teaching them through your example exactly how to show that respect.
Being a dad means supporting your children in their growth and development to ensure they learn what they need to survive and thrive once they leave your home. A dad's definition can also include a loving parent who still offers love and support once the child grows up. The older dad can also be a wonderful person to have in your life, even when you're out on your own.
What is the difference between a father and a dad?
The difference between a dad and a father is that the dad is focused on loving their child, while the father focuses his attention and efforts elsewhere.
It's not that a father necessarily dislikes their child, doesn't care about their child, or isn't interested at all in their wellbeing. But there's a big difference in the emphasis the dad and father place on these concerns. A dad and a father don't look at their children in the same way. The dad sees their children as valuable, precious individuals. The father, on the other hand, sees their children almost as a possession or a burden.
A dad and a father are also different in the way they approach their child's problems. While a father might tend to lecture, criticize, or punish, a dad looks for loving solutions to their child's problems. Rather than lecture, they offer empathetic advice. Instead of criticizing, they might gently suggest more helpful behaviors to try. Although there may be times when a loving father must still punish their child, it is always a proportional response based on what the child needs rather than satisfying the father's desire for retribution.
A dad and a father behave differently with their children because they have different motives. A dad wants the child to be an integral part of their lives, so they have fun with them and include them whenever possible. But a father sees their child as an extra responsibility and interacts with them as little as possible. A father doesn't talk excitedly with his children about his interests or exciting new facts and concepts he's learned. A dad does this because he has a great desire to broaden their horizons and encourage their fascination with the world. A dad wants to help his children be all they can be, not so they won't disappoint or burden him as a father would, but they can enjoy themselves for the rest of their lives.
In short, there's a big difference in the dad's way of being with their child as opposed to a father's. A father does what he feels he's ethically responsible for doing and interacts with their children very little beyond that. But to a dad, their children are a part of their heart and a part of their world that they want to enjoy as much as possible. So, while a father might interact when he feels it's necessary, there's a big difference for the dad. He interacts with the child as often as possible because of the joy the relationship brings.
What is the role of a dad?
A dad's role is to be there for their children in every way they need their dad.
A dad's role is to provide loving, caring support that helps the child flourish as they grow into a mentally healthy, stable adulthood. A dad and a father are different in this aspect of parenting. The father might be very good at providing food, clothing, and shelter for their child. But a dad goes beyond the basic physical needs. Instead, they tend to their emotional and social needs as well.
A dad supports their child by attending important events, celebrating their birthdays and other special days, and recognizing their achievements with happy congratulations.
Another part of dad's role is listening and responding lovingly when their child is hurt or discouraged. The dad can act as a sounding board for the child's new ideas, allowing them to dream and plan without judging them. Being a dad means being on your child's side rather than putting yourself first. So, a dad's role is to give your time, effort, and consideration to helping your child enjoy today, deal with the past and create a beautiful future for themselves.
What qualities should a father have?
If a father wants to become more like a dad, he should have qualities that go along with the dad's definition. For this, a father should develop the following qualities:
- Loving
- Playful
- Expressive
- Empathetic
- Good listener
- Protective
- Respectful of mother
- Mindful of child's emotions and struggles
- Happy to attend their child's events
- Excited to celebrate the child's successes and special days
- Unselfishness
- Prioritizing children and family
- Generous with their time
Why does my dad get so angry?
If your dad is a dad and not just a father, your dad probably gets angry because he cares about you. Perhaps he's concerned that you're making decisions that will hurt you or estrange you from other family members. Maybe he wants to give you something he doesn't have the power to give. Or, if he's angry with someone else, it might mean that your dad is furious that someone is doing something that will hurt you or your family. After all, the definition of dad includes loving, caring, support, and protection.
