Is this Love that I'm Feeling? The Signs?
Updated September 28, 2021
Medically Reviewed By: Karen Devlin, LPC
Love is hard to describe. It’s hard to know when you’re feeling love, or just something else. There are false positives or actual signs of love that are so subtle you barely notice them. It’s difficult to know for sure, but there are ways to figure out if you’re in love or not. In this post, we will look at some of the common signs of falling in love, and tell you what you can do if you’re falling in love.
The Components Of Love
There are many views on how love works, but a popular one is that love needs to have three things for it to work: intimacy, passion, and commitment. This is according to the triangular theory of love, which is quite interested to read. To summarize:
- Intimacy is where you have an emotional connection with the person. You two may share similar views, or you just may feel like there’s a bond. Intimacy can occur in friends, family, and lovers.
- There is a romantic attraction the two of you share, and it usually involves sex or other ways to express romance. With time, your passion may go down, but love sparks from passion.
- There is a desire to be with this person for as long as possible. You want to build a future for the two of you and live in a world where you’re together with them always.
Love Or Lust?
One emotion that many confuse for love is lust. Lust is when you are attracted to a person on a physical and sexual level, but the love isn’t there. You may be friendly with the person or have something in common with them, but the deep emotional bond just isn’t there. While it can be hard to tell if you were only in lust with someone, it’s usually easy to tell in hindsight. Here are some ways to know.
- You don’t express your deepest emotions to them.
- You can’t be yourself around them.
- The two of you may have sex or have a passion for each other, but the intimacy just isn’t there.
- The two of you might not be close friends if it weren’t for the sexual attraction.
- You can’t imagine living with them or building a future with them.
Lust usually fades away after a while, and once it’s gone, the two of you may have no reason for each other anymore.
How To Tell It’s Love
Everyone’s body reacts a little differently to the idea of love, so let’s look at some common experiences you may have when you’re falling in love.
You Can’t Stop Thinking About Them
This is an obvious one. If your mind is fixated on the person, there is a good chance that you’re in love with them. If you just thought of them as a friend, then they’re probably not on your mind too often. But if your every thought is about them and what they’re doing, there’s a good chance that you’re in love.
You Feel Yourself Around Them
Everyone adjusts his or her personality according to the situation. You at school or church is much different than when you’re at the bar or in the privacy of your own home. Even some of your friends you may change yourself a bit. However, when you’re in love, you believe that you can be yourself and then some. True love involves you being yourself around your lover. You can tell them your deepest secrets and feelings without feeling judged or scrutinized for them.
You Always Find Yourself Looking At Them
It’s not that you have a staring problem; it’s that you’re fixated on the one you love. If you love someone, you’ll find yourself looking them in the eye, and your eyes will wander back to them. This is a clear sign of love and one you should not ignore. Of course, don’t be too staring, as this can turn some people off.
You Got That Feeling In Your Tummy
We all know the feeling of butterflies in your stomach, where your stomach feels fluttery. If you’re experiencing it around your love, you may be in love. However, there are more reasons for this sensation.
Butterflies in your stomach area flight or fight response. Adrenaline pumps through your body, and you may begin to sweat. Sometimes, you’re anxious because you love this person and don’t want to mess it up. Other times, it may be because you fear this person. So when you feel butterflies, you need to find the meaning by looking at the other signs you may be experiencing.
You Imagine The Future With Them
Everyone loves to think about the future. You think about yourself accomplishing a life goal, growing old, and so on. However, if you imagine your future with the one you believe you love, this is a sign of love. Commitment, as mentioned before, is a big part of being in love, as you want to spend the future with someone you love. If you find yourself thinking about living with, marrying, or having children with this person, then you may be in love.
Again, this is a sign where the meaning may change depending on the context. Sometimes, you may sweat because you dislike the person and they make you anxious. Other times, you may sweat because you love this person and they make you heated, or you’re nervous about messing up the date. Look at all the signs to figure out what you think the sign means. With that said, if you’re reading this article, there’s a good chance you’re sweating because you love them.
You Like To Try New Things With Them
Many people do not leave their comfort zone. For example, if you don’t like traveling, you won’t travel with just a friend. However, if you love someone, and they want to travel, you may be traveling with them and soon discover you like it.
Love is when you want to try new things, and this can be positive. Sometimes, you may realize that something you thought you disliked is your favorite thing now. Love can open your mind in some ways, and when it comes to trying new activities, that’s where the love shines the most.
You Sacrifice Your Time for Them
One way you can tell you’re in love with them is if you inconvenience yourself for them, with no benefit for you. If they are stranded on the road, you will come pick them up. If they’re short on money, you will spot them. Loving someone means empathizing and being able to help others when they’re in a tough situation.
With that said, don’t stress yourself out too much. Sometimes, you may not be able to help, and that’s okay. Help when you can, and be there when you’re able to. And never help someone who is just there to use you.
You Have To Ask Yourself If You’re In Love
Perhaps there is no easy way to answer this question. If you have to ask yourself if you’re in love, you may be. There are cases when it’s not loving, but if you’re experiencing all these sensations and have to ask yourself if you’re in love, then the answer is more than likely yes.
Have you figured out if it’s love yet? If so, you may wonder what to do next.
How To Handle Love
If you’re in love with someone, and you’re unsure if they love you back, you may not know how to proceed. There are a few ways you can get through this, including:
- Looking for signs. If they are flirty, exhibiting similar signs that you are, or you believe that there is another piece of evidence that proves they’re in love with you, they may be.
- Just admit it. You’re going to suffer if you don’t get it off your chest for long. The worst they can do is say no.
- If they do say no, it hurts. However, don’t force someone to love you. Give them space, and if they come back, awesome. If not, then it wasn’t mean to be.
Love can be hard to handle, and you may need an outlet to express your romantic feelings or receive advice on how to get into a relationship. One way you can do this is by talking to a therapist. A relationship counselor can tell you whether or not you’re in love, and where to go from there if you are. If you are having problems coping with unrequited love, a therapist can teach you how to cope and move on to the next person.
Love is a complex emotion that still isn’t fully understood. However, by recognizing the signs and learning to act on them, you can be able to get a hold of your feelings like never before.
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