Is this Love that I'm Feeling? The Signs?
Love can be hard to describe. It can be difficult to know if you’re feeling love or something else entirely. There are false positives or actual signs of love that are so subtle you barely notice them. It can be hard to know for sure, but there are ways to tell if you love someone or not. In this post, we will look at some of the common signs of falling in love and tell you what you can do if you’re falling in love.
The Components Of Love
There are many views on how love works, but a popular one is that love needs to have three things for it to work: intimacy, passion, and commitment. This is according to the triangular theory of love, which is quite interesting to read. A summary:
- Intimacy is found when you have an emotional connection with the person. You two may have similar views, or you just may feel like there’s a bond. Intimacy can occur in friends, family, and lovers.
- There is a romantic attraction between the two of you, and it usually involves sex or other ways to express romance. With time, your passion may go down, but love sparks from passion.
- There is a desire to be with this person for as long as possible. You want to build a future for the two of you and live in a world where you’re committed to them always.
Love Or Lust?
One emotion that many confuse for love is lust. Lust is when you are attracted to a person on a physical and sexual level, but the love isn’t there. You may be friendly with the person or have something in common with them, but the deep emotional bond just isn’t there. While it can be hard to tell if you were only in lust vs love with someone, it’s usually easy to tell in hindsight. Here are some ways to know.
- You don’t express your deepest emotions to them.
- You can’t be yourself around them.
- The two of you may have sex or have a passion for each other, but the intimacy just isn’t there.
- The two of you might not even be friends if it weren’t for the sexual attraction.
- You can’t imagine living with them or building a future with them.
Lust usually fades away after a while, and once it’s gone, the two of you may have no reason to be near each other anymore.
How To Tell If It’s Love
What does love feel like? Everyone’s body reacts a little differently to the idea of love, so let’s look at some common experiences you may have when you’re falling in love.
You Can’t Stop Thinking About Them
This is an obvious one. If your mind is fixated on the person, there is a good chance that you’re in love with them. If you just thought of them as a friend, then they would not likely be on your mind quite as often. But if your every thought is about them and what they’re doing, there’s a good chance that you’re in love.
You Feel Like Yourself Around Them
Everyone adjusts his or her personality according to the situation. The you you present at school or church is much different than the you you present when you’re at the bar or in your own home. You may even change yourself around your friends a bit. However, when you’re in love, you believe that you can be yourself and then some. True love involves you being yourself around your lover. You can tell them your deepest secrets and feelings without feeling judged or scrutinized for them.
You Always Find Yourself Looking At Them
It’s not that you have a staring problem; it’s that you’re fixated on the one you love. If you love someone, you’ll find yourself looking them in the eye, and your eyes will wander back to them if you're separated in a room. This is a clear sign of love and one you should not ignore. Of course, don’t stare too hard, as this can turn some people off.
You Got That Feeling In Your Tummy
We all know the feeling of butterflies in your stomach. You know, the one where your stomach feels fluttery. If you’re experiencing it around the object of your affection, you may be in love. However, there are more reasons for this sensation.
Butterflies in your stomach are a flight or fight response. Adrenaline pumps through your body, and you may begin to sweat. Sometimes, you’re anxious because you love this person and don’t want to mess it up. Other times, it may be because you fear this person. So, when you feel butterflies, you need to find the meaning by looking at the other signs you may be experiencing.
You Imagine A Future With Them
Many people love to think about the future. You think about yourself accomplishing a life goal, growing old, and so on. However, if you imagine your future with the one you believe you love, this is a sign of love. Commitment, as mentioned before, is a big part of being in love, as you want to spend the future with someone you love. If you find yourself thinking about living with, marrying, or having children with this person, then you may be in love.
Again, this is a sign where the meaning may change depending on the context. Sometimes, you may sweat because you dislike a person, and they make you anxious. Other times, you may sweat because you love this person, and they make you heated or you’re nervous about messing up the date. Look at all the other signs to figure out what you think this sign means. With that said, if you’re reading this article, there’s a good chance you’re sweating because you love them.
You Like To Try New Things With Them
Many people do not like to leave their comfort zone. For example, if you don’t like traveling, you won’t travel with just a friend. However, if you love someone and they want to travel, you may find yourself traveling with them and discovering that you like it.
Love is when you want to try new things, and this can be one of many positive aspects of love. Sometimes, you may realize that something you thought you disliked is your favorite thing now. Love can open your mind in a lot of ways, and when it comes to trying new activities, that’s where love can shine the most.
You Sacrifice Your Time for Them
One way you can tell you’re in love with them is if you inconvenience yourself for them, with no benefit for you. If they are stranded on the road, you will come pick them up. If they’re short on money, you will spot them. Loving someone means empathizing and being able to help others when they’re in a tough situation.
With that said, don’t stress yourself out too much. Sometimes, you may not be able to help, and that’s okay. Help when you can and be there when you’re able. Try to avoid helping someone who is just there to use you.
How To Handle Love
Have you figured out if it’s love yet? If so, you may wonder what to do next.
If you’re in love with someone and you’re unsure if they love you back, you may not know how to proceed. There are a few ways you can get through this, including:
- Look for signs. If they are flirty, exhibiting similar signs to the ones you're exhibiting, or you believe that there is another piece of evidence that proves they’re in love with you, they may be.
- Just admit it. You’re going to suffer if you don’t get it off your chest. The worst they can do is say they don't feel the same way.
- If they do say no, it hurts. However, don’t force someone to love you. Give them space, and if they come back, awesome. If not, then it wasn’t mean to be.
Love can be hard to handle, and you may need an outlet to express your romantic feelings or receive advice on how to get into a relationship. One way you can do this is by talking to a therapist. A relationship counselor can tell you whether or not you’re in love and where to go from there if you are. If you are having problems coping with unrequited love, a therapist can teach you how to cope and move on to the next person. Regain is an online therapy platform that can connect you to a therapist who can walk you through all your feelings—all from the comfort of home.
Many people have turned to online therapy for dealing with difficult feelings. It has proven to be an effective way to sort out problems and figure out workable solutions. Online therapy is available no matter where you're located—so long as there is an internet connection.
Love is a complex emotion that still isn’t fully understood. However, by recognizing the signs and learning to act on them, you can get a hold of your feelings like never before.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What are the signs of being in love?
People often wonder what the tell-tale signs you’re in love may be, especially if they are in a relationship.
Some of the signs that you’re in love with someone include:
- You feel good when you are around the person.
- You feel safe with the person.
- You can’t eat and have a loss of appetite; the chemical reactions of love fire off a change in your brain chemistry and your hormones that can affect hunger.
- You cannot go to the grocery store or do mundane activities without thinking of the person.
- You don’t feel that you can make it a day without seeing or talking to the person.
- Any period of time away from the person seems like an eternity.
- Your sexual desire increases.
- Your sense of empathy for the person intensifies; you don’t want to see them in pain.
- You start talking about the future and what you’d like to accomplish in your life.
- Your health fitness goals and activities do not seem as important.
- You try to come up with bigger and better date ideas.
While all the signs you’re falling in love may not be obvious signs, these are scientifically proven signs you’re in love. Tell-tale signs are a great way to understand what is happening to you; love can feel unusual, and you may be acting differently. Romantic love can often make you feel like you are on a roller coaster. Your emotions may be running high, and you may even start to separate from things that you once enjoyed for a period of time. However, these are all normal and are scientifically proven signs that love is in the air.
Do you have to be in a long-term relationship in order to fall in love?
It does not matter if you have been in a long-term relationship or if you have just met someone—you can fall in love over time or immediately.
When you’re falling in love, it can feel like you’re on a roller coaster; you’re completely enamored with someone and you’re completely ignorant to their faults.
When we are deeply in love or in romantic love, we tend to see the best part of a person and ignore their negative attributes. In fact scientists have documented that people who are in love with a significant other form bonds and allow actions they would not entertain if they were not in love.
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