How Can Parental Love Change You And Set Your Child Up For Success?

Updated May 1, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

If you’re expecting a kid or are a new parent, you may wonder how your love for your child might affect your personality and how your love for your child may grow over time. Parental love can be nuanced, much like love of any other kind, but it often flourishes and evolves as the child themselves grows. It may look different from person to person, and the pressure to “do it right” may be something that many parents experience as they attempt to help raise a well-adjusted, happy child. Understanding that parental love can take many forms and be as individual as you may help provide some reassurance. This post will talk about parental love and explain how it can change people’s mentality so that you can reflect on how you’d like to parent your own little one now and into the future. 

A parent’s love

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Many parents might rave about how their child has changed their life. Despite the hardships that can come with a child, such as sleep deprivation, having less free time, and fewer finances to spend, many believe that their child is the best thing to happen in their lives. A parent’s love may appear to be unconditional, and it can change people for the better. Below are a few examples of how parental love might make a difference.

It can help develop patience

Parenting can be an extremely important, albeit often thankless, job. Loving your child, therefore, may mean being patient with them. A child isn’t a small adult; their brain may not understand some things, and it can sometimes be difficult to get your point across or know how to handle a situation. Learning to parent with compassion and understanding may help you become more patient yourself, but also raise a child who wants to listen to and understand others. Showing respect for your child’s emotions may encourage them to do the same later on. 

It can teach about loving someone unconditionally

Your child is likely going to encounter conflicts, whether with you, a sibling, someone at school, etc. Some conflicts may arise not because they disobeyed or made a mistake but because you and your child disagree on life choices. Your ideal career choice for your child may not happen. Your child may be in a relationship with someone you don’t approve of.  It can be hard to voice your concerns without sounding demanding.

However, the best parents are often those who love their children regardless of their choices in life. Unconditional parental love can be a crucial part of a child’s sense of stability and safety. After all, kids are almost bound to make mistakes from time to time, but knowing that their actions won’t lead you to stop loving them can help them feel confident, able to be honest, and deserving of only the best from others in life.


How parenthood can alter the mind

Many believe that they are not qualified to be parents, perhaps because they feel like they can hardly take care of themselves. However, when they have a kid, they may realize that they can better take care of that child than they thought they could. 

Many of these emotions come because of changes in the brain. We are programmed to adapt, and when we have children, our brain can adapt and adjust accordingly. These changes may be responsible for the parental instincts that many people mention developing – having an intuitive sense of a child’s well-being and needs can be a very real experience, as can feeling like you know them better than anyone else.

The brain after giving birth

We love our children for many reasons, and one may be due to the changes that can occur in the brain after giving birth.

After a person births a child, activity in the amygdala increases. What is the amygdala? It’s a memory processor, and it controls reactions such as anxiety, aggression, and fears. So, when a person gives birth, they may become increasingly sensitive to all the baby’s needs. Parents who provide for the baby and look out for their well-being may feel deeply content and satisfied, perhaps because they are more prone to feeling the same emotions and distress their newborn might if their needs are not met.

Parents of any gender can become similarly sensitive to their children’s needs during this time, recognizing cues like crying or other sounds as signals that warrant specific actions. While there may be no guide to parenting, some level of intuition seems to be hardwired into our brains; all it takes to activate it, in many cases, is the presence of a new child. 

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A parent’s love and the brain of their child

The early stages of a child’s life can be quite influential. The brain is still developing, and any action can influence how it develops and how the child will turn out whenever they become an adult. As a child sees and processes things for the first time, they may store away key information that helps them understand the world around them. 

Research reveals that an infant’s brain development can be dependent on the amount of love they receive from a caregiver; in other words, neglecting a child may adversely impact how their brain grows and changes over time. Evidence also suggests that a lack of love and parental inconsistency can lead to an increased risk of mental health disorders later on in life.

The brains of neglectful parents

Sadly, not all parents are loving. Some may be neglectful or give their child the bare minimum amount of attention. There may be a few reasons why this might happen. Some parents may have been neglected themselves and have little idea of how to provide for a child in any other way. Postpartum depression and other postpartum mental health concerns may also limit a parent’s capacity to provide the love their child may need through no fault of their own. 

Income levels may also be linked to how neglectful a parent may be. Low-income families may work hard and not have enough time to care for their children. There may be extra stress that comes with the cost of taking care of a child. They may blame the child and be angry, which can be a hard cycle to break.

Seeking help

If you are a parent hoping to understand how to do right by your child, it may help to remember that there is not one right way to be a loving parent. Simply trying your best and understanding that you may mess up sometimes can be helpful. So can speaking to a mental health professional, like a therapist, who can offer outside support and guidance as your child grows and changes.

Online therapy may be an ideal option if you’re a busy parent with little time to yourself. You can join sessions from the comfort of your own home and at a time that works for your schedule. Plus, you may be able to attend therapy with your partner or perhaps even your child, if appropriate, to discuss specific concerns and goals.

Research shows that online therapy options can be just as effective as in-person therapy for treating many mental health concerns. It stands to reason, then, that seeking online counseling for parenting concerns or aspirations may also be a helpful next step to take. Even if you’re just looking for someone to talk to about your own life outside of your child, the support of a therapist can make a huge difference.


Parenthood can be complex, as can be the many changes in your brain that might occur when a child enters your life. The impact that parental love can have on a child may not be insignificant, though, which means it’s likely well-worth it to figure out how to best support yourself so that you can be a present, compassionate parent. Your brain and that of your child will likely change for the better because of it. 

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