Fun Sexual Questions To Ask When You’re Getting To Know A New Lover

Updated June 21, 2021

Medically Reviewed By: Karen Devlin, LPC

When you start dating someone new, it can be exciting to get to know everything about them. You want to be able to connect with your new lover on all levels. You should focus on building a solid relationship, and it's important to be honest with each other about your expectations. It's also good to let your hair down and have some fun. You can show your new partner who you are so that they can come to love everything that you have to offer. If you're starting to connect on a sexual level, you can have fun by asking certain sexual questions.

You can ask many fun sexual questions that will help you get to know your new lover better. This will give you some insight into the type of lover that they are. You'll simultaneously be learning about your partner's personality and sexual interests. Take a look at the following fun sexual questions to ask your new partner. They should help you to have fun while learning how to have a fulfilling sex life together.

How Old Were You When You Had Sex For The First Time?

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One pretty standard question that you could start with is to ask your partner how old they were when they had sex for the first time. Some people are late bloomers and don't have sex until they are well into being an adult. Others might have lost their virginity during their high school years. Once you hear the answer to this question, you'll know a bit more about your new lover's sexual background. It can also be fun to ask for details, assuming that hearing the details won't make you feel jealous.

How Often Do You Masturbate?

Most people masturbate somewhat frequently, although some are more hesitant to admit it than others. Asking your new lover about how often they masturbate is a little bit flirty and also somewhat tantalizing. You will likely get turned on by the thought of your new partner taking care of themselves. One reason to ask this question is to learn more about your partner's sex drive. If they masturbate somewhat often, that shows you that they have a healthy desire for sexual pleasure, and they know what turns them on in the bedroom.

Do You Have Any Sexual Fantasies?

You might have some sexual fantasies of your own that you would like to explore with your new partner. If you ask your lover whether they have any sexual fantasies, you will learn about them. You may find out that your sexual fantasies match up. Even if they don't match up perfectly, it will be a good segue for you to share your fantasies with your lover. This is a fun topic that can lead to things getting steamy if the mood is right.

What Part Of Your Body Would You Like Me To Kiss First?


A question like this might seem a bit silly to some, but it's good to get to know what your partner likes. You can learn by exploring on your own during your intimate moments together, of course. But, it's also good to get a bit of information when you're just texting back and forth or talking in person.

If your partner says a very obvious area of their body, then consider asking them for another spot that you wouldn't expect. For example, you might discover that your lover enjoys being kissed on the neck or they have especially sensitive ears. Use this information responsibly and show them a good time the next time you're getting down to business.

Do You Watch Porn?

Fun sexual questions like this might feel more appropriate to ask if you know for sure that your partner is open with their sexuality. Some might be embarrassed to admit that they watch porn even if they are fairly confident sexually. Watching adult videos is common in modern times, and doing so together can even be seen as an aphrodisiac. You can ask about the type of adult videos that your lover likes, too. This shows you more about what turns them on, and it gives you some food for thought. It’s important to note that not all porn is created equal—viewing certain mainstream porn is linked to increased partnership abuse. Remember to prioritize porn that turns both of you on or centers on all participants' pleasure, not just one or a few of them.

What Is The Weirdest Place That You Have Had Sex In?

If you are an adventurous individual, then you might have had sex in a strange place at some point in time. Maybe you made love in a bathroom at a convenience store, or perhaps you got busy in a movie theater. Of course, this isn't something that everyone will be comfortable with, but asking your partner about it can be fun. It can also lead to certain fun sex ideas that you might want to bookmark mentally for later days.

Is There a Place Where You Would Love To Have Sex?

This is another question that could lead to ideas for fun sexual things to do. For example, your partner might have an ideal scenario where they have sex on a beautiful beach while the sun is setting. However, their ideal place where they would love to have sex could be something more outside the box as well. Whatever the answer winds up being, it will be interesting, and it will paint you a vivid mental picture. Perhaps you could make this moment happen for your new lover at some point.

Are You Interested In Talking Dirty?

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Dirty talk is something that many people get turned on by. Hearing certain words or phrases come out of your lover's mouth could be enough to get you going. Asking whether your new lover is into talking dirty during sex will be informative. This will tell you how confident they are with such things. If your new lover isn't into it, then you might have to do without. If they are interested in learning, then this is a new element to your sex life that you can explore over time.

Are You Interested In Being Tied Up/Tying Me Up?

If you are one of the many people who find power control games to be appealing in sex, then you might love asking this question. You can ask your lover whether they're interested in being tied up or tying you up. If you're more interested in being a submissive lover, then you might ask about whether they'd like to tie you up during sex. Their answer is going to show you how open they are to these types of sexual encounters.

Remember that not everyone is going to be into this type of fetish. It isn't uncommon for people to enjoy a bit of light bondage in sex, but it might not be your lover's cup of tea. If it is, and you also happen to enjoy it, then you might be thrilled to learn this information. It's important to ask fun sexual questions that allow you to learn about your partner. It allows you to connect easier, and you'll be able to work on developing a strong sexual bond.

What's The Best Sex Dream You've Ever Had?

Another interesting question to consider is to ask your significant other about the best sex dream that they can remember having. Most people have had a sex dream at some point in their lives. For example, you might have had many of them during puberty, and you still might get them on occasion. Some of them can be very satisfying and will line up with your sexual fantasies. Others might be weirder in nature but can still be interested. Regardless, learning about your partner's best sex dream ever could be a turn-on, and it could provide you with small insights to consider.

How Do You Feel About Sex Toys?

If you are the type of person who enjoys sex toys, then you're probably going to want to see how your partner feels about incorporating them into the bedroom. A question like this allows your partner to let you know about their sexual expectations. For example, they might be intrigued and turned on by the idea of toys. On the other hand, some might like the idea of using toys on you but not on themselves. Either way, it's good to figure things out.

What Outfit Would You Wear If You Wanted To Turn Me On?

Asking your lover what outfit they would wear if they wanted to turn you on is a very flirty question. They might describe some sexy lingerie that will blow your mind. Perhaps they might say that they'd wear nothing at all. Their answer will be intriguing to you no matter what. They might expect to hear what you would wear if you wanted to get them in the mood as well. If you and your lover seem to like the idea of wearing sexy outfits, then you can put this information on your list of fun sexual things to do at a later date.

Are You into Sexual Role-Playing?


Figuring out whether your partner is interested in sexual role-playing is smart, too. People get turned on by playing different roles in the bedroom. It's a way to mix things up during sex that can lead to unique situations. You might find that your lover likes playing a certain role that turns them on. You could decide that incorporating this into your love life is a good idea, and it could add to your overall sexual satisfaction. It largely depends on what you enjoy and how open you are to experiment with fun types of sex.

Don't Forget That Online Couples Counseling Can Help You Grow Closer

You might also find that you have a partner who has trouble opening up to you. Unfortunately, not everyone is as open with their sexuality as others. If you have problems connecting and want to make the relationship work, it might be beneficial to contact online couples' counselors. Professionals like this can help you improve your communication as a couple, and they can work with you to help you find the right balance in your relationship.

Online couples counseling is a simple and effective way to work on relationship issues. It's also discreet and as convenient as possible. You can count on these experts to work with you at any time that you decide to reach out. They're very attentive, and they always have your best interests in mind. You won't have to leave the comfort of your home to get assistance, and they will endeavor to ensure that both you and your partner are comfortable throughout the process. So take the time to reach out today if you feel that your relationship could use a bit of assistance.

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