Fun Sexual Questions To Ask Your New Lover

Updated August 22, 2023by Regain Editorial Team

When you start dating someone new, it can be exciting to get to know everything about them. You generally might want to be able to connect with your new lover on all levels. Focusing on building a solid relationship, and being honest with each other about your expectations can be a great place to start for deeper intimacy, both emotionally or sexually.. If you're starting to connect on a sexual level, you can have fun by asking certain sexual questions.

Doing this can be fun — and it can give you some insight into the type of lover that they are. It can also open the door for more satisfying intimate experiences, as both partners can be more aware of what the other one likes and prefers. Read on for our list of fun sexual questions to ask your new lover before your next romantic session together.

“How Old Were You When You Had Sex For The First Time?”

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A fairly standard question that you could start with is to ask your partner how old they were when they had sex for the first time. Some people are late bloomers and don't have sex until they are well into being an adult. Others might have lost their virginity during their high school years. Once you hear the answer to this question, you might know a bit more about your new lover's sexual background. Doing this might also give you a chance to share yours, allowing you both to bond over the shared transparency and details. 

“How Often Do You Masturbate?”

Masturbation is generally a personal topic, laced with individual preferences and patterns. Asking your new lover about how often they masturbate can be a little bit flirty and also somewhat tantalizing. 

You and your partner may get turned on by the thought of your new partner taking care of themselves. You may also learn more about your partner's sex drive, and what they prefer to use to turn themselves on. You might then be able to start off your sexual relationship with these same turn-ons in the bedroom, helping both of you to potentially have a more pleasurable experience. 

“Do You Have Any Sexual Fantasies?”

This question can be fun, flirty, and revealing for some. You might have some of your own that you would like to explore with your new partner, or you may be asking to get a better gauge of what your partner would love to try in the bedroom. 

This can be a fun topic that can lead to things getting steamy, if the mood is right for all parties involved.

“What Part Of Your Body Would You Like Me To Kiss First?”


This question can be asked either in the heat of the moment or as a separate, standalone question. You can also learn the answer to this one by exploring on your own during your intimate moments together. .

Consider going a bit deeper with your partner depending on how they respond, and what with. For example: If your partner says a very obvious area of their body, then consider asking them if they would enjoy a kiss in another spot that you wouldn't expect. For example, you might discover that your lover enjoys being kissed on the neck or they have especially sensitive ears. You can then use this information to help them have an even more fulfilling sexual experience the next time you’re intimate together.

“Do You Watch Porn?”

Fun sexual questions like this might feel more appropriate to ask if you know for sure that your partner is open with their sexuality. Watching adult videos can be common in modern times, and doing so together can even be seen as an aphrodisiac

“What Is The Most Adventurous Place That You Have Had Sex In?”

If you are an adventurous individual, then you might have had sex in a place besides your bedroom at some point in time. Maybe you made love in a bathroom at a convenience store, or perhaps you got busy in a movie theater. Of course, this isn't something that everyone will be comfortable with, but asking your partner about it can be a fun way to reminisce. 

“Is There a Place Where You Would Love To Have Sex?”

This is another question that could lead to ideas for fun sexual things to do. For example, your partner might have an ideal scenario where they have sex on a beautiful beach while the sun is setting, or as you’re baking a fun treat on the kitchen counter. You may find inspiration that could help you to make this moment happens for your new lover at some point.

“Are You Interested In Talking Dirty?”

Dirty talk is something that many people might get turned on by. Asking whether your new lover is into talking dirty during sex can be informative and can be a way for you to lean in to new and exciting sexual experiences.

“Are You Interested In Being Tied Up/Tying Me Up?”

If you are one of the many people who find games to be appealing in sex, then you might love asking this question. You can ask your lover whether they're interested in being tied up or tying you up. If you're more interested in being a submissive lover, then you might ask about whether they'd like to tie you up during sex. Their answer might show you how open they are to these types of sexual encounters.

It can be helpful to remember that not everyone is going to be into this type of fetish. It isn't uncommon for people to enjoy a bit of light bondage in sex, but it might not be your lover's cup of tea, especially if they have recovered from or survived any type of mistreatment. Remaining honest, open and respectful can be a way to have the healthiest sexual experiences possible. 

“How Do You Feel About Sex Toys?”

If you are the type of person who enjoys sex toys, then you may want to see how your partner feels about incorporating them into the bedroom. A question like this can allow your partner to let you know about their sexual expectations. For example, they might be intrigued and turned on by the idea of toys. On the other hand, some might like the idea of using toys on you but not on themselves. Either way, it can be a helpful question to ask. 

Are You Into Sexual Role-Playing?

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People can get turned on by playing different roles in the bedroom. Sexual role-playing is a way to mix things up during sex that can lead to unique situations and even greater pleasure. 

As you ask this question, you might find that your lover likes playing a certain role that turns them on. You could decide that incorporating this into your love life is a good idea, and it could add to your overall sexual satisfaction. You might also uncover new needs of your partner’s to help them have a better time. 

How Can Online Therapy Help People Find Better Intimacy? 

Intimacy and sexual encounters are generally personal and private topics. You may not feel comfortable speaking about them in a traditional in-person therapeutic setting. Online therapy can be a safer, more accessible space to voice these topics for most, allowing you to have a better overall therapeutic result. 

Is Online Therapy Effective For Those Living With Intimacy Concerns? 

Intimacy concerns can affect a person’s quality of life, which may prompt them to seek therapeutic support. With this in mind, you may find yourself wondering if online therapy is an effective option for those wanting to bond more deeply with their partners. 

Current research and meta-analysis from the National Council on Aging has found that this form of therapy can be effective in helping patients address anxiety disorders, depression and mental health conditions. This can, in turn, result in more fulfilling intimate experiences with partners and others in your life. 

This research is supported with a review of over 40 clinical studies and 1,000 clinical trial participant experiences. 


Sexual relationships and intimacy are extremely personal. Asking playful questions about partner preferences and expectations can help you to have more fulfilling sexual experiences. Online therapy can be a helpful tool to consider if you’re looking to enhance your communication skills. Regain can connect you with a therapist in your specific area of need. 

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