10 Intimate Questions To Ask Your Girlfriend To Bring You Closer Together

Updated February 7, 2023by ReGain Editorial Team

When you are in a relationship for a while, you might begin to notice that the constant questions you asked each other at the beginning of the relationship are dwindling. You’ve gotten to know each other well, so you don’t have as many questions for them daily. “How was your day?” can only get you so far. If you’re not asking each other questions, then what are you talking about? When you see a person regularly, you know how they are doing and what they are doing, so it can be hard to develop new things to talk about. That’s why having a list of important couples' intimacy questions can help. Take turns asking each other these ten questions on a date night and see how much closer you grow as a couple.

  1. If You Could Have Anyone In The World As A Dinner Guest, Who Would It Be?

Intimate Questions Can Deepen Any Relationship

This is a great question to get you started. It’s creative, interesting, and gets the juices flowing. The dinner guest can be dead or still alive, so the possibilities are endless; who your significant other chooses can open up a whole new conversation based on this interest. Why did they choose this person? What is it about them that they like so much? It will also give you insight into your significant other. The person they choose could make a lot of sense based on what you know of them. But the choice could also be way off from what you would have guessed. Suddenly you know something brand new about your significant other that makes you feel closer to each other.

  1. Do You Rehearse What You’re Going To Say Before A Phone Call?

Here is another out-of-the-box question. You are essentially asking how they handle such a mundane task. If they do rehearse what they’re going to say, why do they do it? Perhaps it is to overcome some social anxiety. Maybe they only rehearse before super important phone calls that they don’t want to stutter during. Or maybe they don’t rehearse, ever. What does that say about them? Are they confidant or cocky? Can you tell based on their interactions with you what their answer will be? Questions like this may feel odd to ask at first, but the possibilities that come from the answer are worth going forward with.

  1. What Would You Say Is Your Perfect Day?

If you’ve been dating a while, this question you might already know the answer to. But it’s still fun to ask and watch as your significant other talks about their ideal day. When people talk about the things they love, their eyes light up, and their joy spreads. You can learn so much by listening to them talk. Pay close attention to what they want to do, where they would go, what kind of foods they would eat, etc. You may not create the absolute perfect day for them, but if you make a mental note of what they like, you can surprise them with bits and pieces for a special treat.

  1. What Are You Most Grateful For?

If you want to feel close to your significant other, find out what they’re grateful for. Their answer will show you what they most cherish and enjoy about their life. They might even say that they’re grateful for you! It’s important to live life with gratitude and thankfulness for all that we have. When you ask this question to your significant other, you see what the first thing they think of is. It will give you a sense of where their priorities are and what matters to them in life.

  1. How Do You Usually Show Love And Affection?

Like your significant other, you know how they show love and affection for you because you are on the receiving end of it. However, it is still good to ask this question because you can sense what they think they are doing. After all, they have to articulate it for you. This is a great question for newer couples, but even couples who have been together for a while can use this question to spice things up or ask for what they need if they aren’t getting it. Ultimately this question is a way to open up a dialogue about intimacy and affection between the two of you. It’s hard sometimes to ask for what you want, but it’s also important that you ask it. This gives you an excuse or the push you need.

  1. What Did You Think Of Me When You First Saw Me?

Here’s a very fun question. No matter how you two met, you made the first impression on each other. Ever wonder exactly what your significant other thought when they first saw you? Now’s your chance to find out. Keep in mind that not everyone has a love at first sight story. But no matter what you each thought of the other, it somehow led to the two of you together now. Reminiscing in the early days can help you feel closer. You’ll remember how far you’ve come to get to where you are now. Love is a journey, after all. There’s no one destination.

  1. What Are the Qualities You Most Admire In A Partner?

This is a good question for couples in the earlier stages of their relationship but can still be helpful to couples who have been together for a long time. What does your partner admire about their other half? Do they like having someone dependable? Do they like having company? Does the romance excite them? Please make a note about where they place the most importance in a relationship. What is it that they expect of their partner, and does it match how you act towards them? This could be a good time to talk about expectations and whether or not they are being met.

  1. What Do You Think Is Your Biggest Failure?

This may seem like a hard question, but it truly is a good one. People fail all the time. It’s an unfortunate part of life. It’s the nature of taking risks, too. Not every leap you make will get you to the other side unscathed. But the bumps, bruises, and heartache you face along the way make you stronger and better. Asking about your partner’s biggest failure asks them about the biggest lessons they learned through the failure. How is it that the failure made them into the person they are today? If they had to do it all over again, would they do it the same? What life lessons do they want to pass on to others as a response to that time in their life? You’ll see this side of your partner that they probably don’t show all the time. Talking about failures means you have to be vulnerable and open. If they can answer the question honestly, it will show you how much they trust you, too.

  1. Who Is Your Favorite Relative?

Intimate Questions Can Deepen Any Relationship

If the family is important to your partner, you’ll see that very well in their answer to this question. They could have one family relative that was there for them more than others, or it could be way too hard to choose just one. Or perhaps, family isn’t very important to them, and they really can’t answer the question with anything but “I don’t know.” Family relationships can be tricky and complicated, but this is a cheeky question that might help you open the door to talk about it more if your partner isn’t as forthcoming as you would like them to be. And if they do have a favorite family relative, their answer will give you an idea of what they find important in relationships.

  1. What Are Some Of Your Favorite Hobbies?

How does your partner spend their free time? Do they like to read? Do they play sports? Are they into games or niche activities? There are probably some hobbies that you aren’t aware of or hobbies you know about but don’t quite understand. What people do in their spare time can tell you a lot about them. This tells you where they like to loosen up and get creative. Hobbies are fun things that people do to destress and build community. Because there are many hobbies, finding out what your partner is interested in will tell you more about their personality. Do they like crowds or small groups? Being outside or inside? Working with their hands or using their mind? Their hobbies will answer these types of questions.

Ultimately, these ten questions are there for you to open up the lines of communication between yourself and your partner. When you’re in a relationship for a long time, communication can get harder. Things aren’t as new, so curiosity starts to be replaced with complacency. But communication is still essential to a lasting relationship, which is why these questions will hopefully lead to long nights of talking in your future.

If you feel like you need more help communicating with your partner, consider doing some online therapy to help you. At ReGain, you can be matched with a therapist for chat therapy sessions through your computer. You can even bring your significant other along. To get started, go to www.regain.us/start.

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