How To Identify Compulsive Liars And Understanding What Makes Them Lie

Perhaps you’ve met someone who tells stories regularly, but you may have noticed that something does not quite add up. Maybe the person’s story contradicted something that they said previously, or it could have simply sounded too good to be true. If this sounds familiar, you may know a compulsive or pathological liar. This article will discuss how you can spot people who lie compulsively, traits of a constant liar, and why this complicated phenomenon happens.

What is compulsive lying?

Most everyone has lied at least once in their lifetime. In fact, lying may be considered normal behavior. It can serve different functions such as responding to or hiding from feelings of shame and guilt, for example. In some cases, lying can also be an effective way to avoid conflict. Lies can be harmless, or they can be destructive.

Still, some individuals may have a compulsive need to lie. Their lies may seem malicious, but they can sometimes be the result of a condition that may be uncontrollable and impulsive. In some cases, the person may feel bad after lying. Other times, the person may not necessarily think they are lying, but rather telling harmless stories.

This is known as pseudologia fantastica, and the term has been around for over a century. Today, it is often referred to as compulsive lying, pathological lying, or mythomania. Despite psychiatrists and psychologists being aware of the condition for this long, pseudologia fantastica is not quite fully understood; however, it is still of interest because of its ramifications in legal settings. 

In the next section, you will learn more about pseudologia fantastica and some of its traits, which can help you identify pathological lying when it arises.

Signs of compulsive lying

Some people who lie compulsively think of their lies as mere "stories". Pseudologia fantastica has been described as a "matrix of fantasy interwoven with some facts". That means the “stories” of a compulsive liar may have some truth to them, but other details may be fabricated.

A compulsive liar might tell some fantastic, grandiose tale that could include enough facts to make it just believable enough to the listener. Eventually, the person on the other end might catch on and start questioning the details of the story, especially if they seem too outrageous. A person who lies compulsively might also tell many "small" lies. For example, they might lie about their employment history, how many relationships they have been in, where they grew up, etc.

If you were to approach a person you suspect is a pathological liar, they might admit that they were not telling the truth all along. When placed in such a situation, some people who lie compulsively might feel guilt and shame. This separates pathological lying from delusional thoughts and behaviors seen in various mental conditions such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. When a person is delusional, he or she believes what they are saying is true. In contrast, people who lie compulsively may acknowledge that what they said was false. 

Lastly, these "stories" typically paint the compulsive liar in a positive light. For example, they might talk about how they rescued a cat stuck in their neighbor's tree, how they managed to meet a celebrity, or how much money they donated to charity. Speaking of money, these lies are also not usually for financial gain, but people who lie compulsively may still get some personal validation from telling them.

If you pay attention to these signs, you may be able to identify people who lie compulsively. When you meet them for the first time, it may be hard to judge whether a person is a pathological liar. Still, it may be possible to notice the cues in subsequent interactions, especially if things are not adding up.

What causes people to lie compulsively?

People who lie compulsively do not usually have any malicious intent when they lie. They may not do it on purpose either. Rather, the drive to lie could be embedded deep within their psychology. Pathological lying can have many different causes, but there are some common reasons. For example, the individual may be trying to assign meaning or importance to their lives, or they could be seeking approval from others.

In her thesis, Dr. Katie Elizabeth Treanor of the University of Wollongong describes a client who was a "confessed pathological liar" and who had a "burdensome impulse to lie". She learned from his past that he suffered from parental rejection, childhood bullying, and social ostracism, which caused him to have several maladaptive behaviors like drinking and shunning relationships; however, lying proved the most problematic for him.

The man would take on the role of someone with many attractive qualities such as being handsome, intelligent, and successful, for example.  He would make up stories that allowed him to live vicariously through the persona he had created because, in reality, he felt that he was none of these things. Lying allowed him to bridge the gap between reality and fantasy. Eventually, those around him would catch on to the lies, and everything that was important to him disappeared, including his credibility and career. 

Individuals who have a problem with lying may lie because they feel that they are not good enough or that they lead boring lives. However, their lying can have detrimental effects, and in some cases, can cost them their relationships or careers.  

Is there a way to treat compulsive lying?

Lying compulsively, or pseudologia fantastica, was once a diagnosable mental illness, but that is no longer the case. This does not mean that pathological lying is no longer a concern. Psychiatrists stopped assigning this specific diagnosis because the condition can be a symptom of broader underlying issues such as personality disorders, for example. Despite the inability of those with this issue to be diagnosed, people who lie compulsively can still be treated. In fact, recovery is possible with the help of therapy.

Therapy can help address the root causes of why people who lie compulsively behave the way they do. It could also help them change the way they view themselves and their lives. Counseling can give these individuals the skills to cope with emotions such as shame, guilt, and rejection in healthier ways.

Negative emotions can be both causes and effects of pathological lying and can get in the way of treatment. If you have a problem lying, you might hesitate to seek help from a therapist due to feelings of humiliation, for example. An online therapeutic setting might help you feel more at ease while discussing your compulsion to lie. This form of remote counseling can also be more convenient since you can access it anywhere you have an internet connection. 

Internet-based therapy has also been proven effective in treating a variety of mental health challenges and conditions. A meta-analysis of existing research showed no significant difference in outcomes experienced by individuals receiving therapy online versus in-person. The review followed various populations and included nearly 10,000 individual cases. 

Takeaway

At Regain, licensed counselors and therapists are available online to help people overcome mental health conditions that could be contributing to compulsive lying. This could help mend relationships and improve self-esteem. Don’t wait—take the first step today to a healthier, more fulfilling life.