The Rules For How To Write A Love Letter

Updated October 21, 2021

Medically Reviewed By: Audrey Kelly, LMFT

Writing A Love Letter Is An Art
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The hardest part of a relationship can be admitting your feelings for someone. We use different outlets to admit it. Some will text the person their feelings, summing them up in a short paragraph. Others will write it through a messenger app. Some will express their feelings in person because they believe this is the most personable way. And while it is, it can be difficult to do so.

One form of expressing how you feel about someone that's dying, but can be special, is the love letter. We are talking about a handwritten snail mail letter to someone.

Why A Love Letter is Powerful

Sure, it's much easier and faster to send your feelings via text or email, but the physical letter has quite an impact that the others don't have. A real letter is personalized just for the receiver, and it's something that they can touch and savor.

There's also the fact that many love the old ways. We romanticize the past, and it's normal for us to think letters are more special than other forms of communication, which can mean that you may succeed if you write a love letter.

A love letter allows you to express your emotions in a way that others do not. The reader can feel the emotion as they look at the handwritten letters. It can send some emotions that text cannot send. This isn't to say that other forms of communication aren't valuable, but if you're looking for a new way to communicate, it's worth a shot.

When to Write A Love Letter

Here are some situations where writing a love letter is ideal.

  • When you want to express your love for someone, of course! With that said, you want to make sure that they like you back. While it's hard to know for sure, if their body language and actions seem to indicate they do, a love letter is worth a shot. If you write a love letter to someone who doesn't know or is uninterested in you, it can come off as a bit creepy.
  • When you want to remind someone of your love, a love letter can be a cute gift that can give off the vibe of love much better than text can, and it's a gift that's cheap and will last a lifetime.
  • When you want to ask for forgiveness, a love letter can be a cool way to make up after a fight. With that said, you should wait until your emotions settle before writing it.

How to Write It

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You may wonder how you can write the perfect love letter. You know how a letter is structured. There's the beginning, which tells who the letter is addressed to, there's the middle, which is the body, or main part of your letter, and then there's the end, which tells who wrote the letter. With that said, you may have some writer's block when it comes to writing it. Should it be sappy, or should it have a little more meat? While this will depend on the situation, here is a good guide on how to write a powerful love letter.

Look to History

Before instant communication, love letters were how we communicated and showed our love when we could not meet in person. They were a common way to court, and because of that, there are archives of love letters to read from. You can look some up and get an idea of the style you should choose from

Be Yourself

Alternatively, you can try to write it how you would like it. This is more personal, and it shows your true self, which is always nice. Of course, we realize that sometimes, you may need some help when writing your letter, and that's okay too.

Begin by Getting to The Point

You may think the letter should begin with some bush beating, but you're mistaken. No one likes to read paragraphs upon paragraphs of information and not get to the point. Also, some may worry the letter is about something else and may fear reading it. When writing a letter, begin by stating the reason for it. Begin by being blunt and saying that this is about love.

Bring Up Some Memories

When it comes to letters, everyone loves to be reminded of a good memory. Therefore you should try to bring up a memory that invokes the feeling of romance. A few examples include:

  • The romantic feelings you have when you first met the person. Please describe how the two of you met and how your emotions reacted when you first saw them. You can even describe their clothing if it's that burned into your mind.
  • A cute or funny moment the two of you shared. This can make the person smile and remember the good times the two of you had.
  • How you feel when being around that person. Please don't hold back when it comes to your emotions. Let them bleed through the paper.

What You Love About the Person

Why do you love this person? The person you love may not even realize this. After all, some are hypercritical of themselves and don't realize their good traits. It's time to remind them of why you love them. Make a transition, and then talk about their traits.

Examples include:

  • Their physical traits. Name some things about the appearance you enjoy and write them down in a poetic manner.
  • Their personality. When you love someone, you must love them for their personality as well. List some things you love and explain why. It can be quirks, great traits, or even imperfections.
  • Anything else that's great about them. Their deeds, their love for a hobby, their life goals… anything that makes you smile. Describe them eloquently and try to invoke a mood of nostalgia and warmth. Just don't try to list their flaws. This is a love letter, after all.

Describe How Your Life Has Changed

Everyone says their love has completed them, but you can describe how. Even if the life changes aren't that great, bring it up. Bring up how you felt before and after you met this person.

Summarize the Love

Now, you're at the end. Begin by reaffirming that you'll love them forever, and you'll stay faithful, and then sum up their love in a few sentences. You can make this cheesy if you feel like it. If the person is your entire world, don't feel bad if you want to throw that cliché in there. Just be yourself, and if yourself means making a person laugh at the cheesiness, then go bananas.

Sign It

Of course, you can't do a love letter without saying your name. Your sign-off can be the typical "sincerely" or "love," or you can sign off with a cheesy quote. Whichever works best for you, don't be afraid to try it.

And with that, you're done. You may wonder how you should deliver the letter. If they live far away, obviously you should mail it. Otherwise, you can deliver it by hand. Some want to hand the letter over personally, while others may tuck it into a place that they will find. For example, if they stuff the letter into the person's purse. However, please don't put the letter in a place that they might not like.

Anything Else You Should Know?

Again, we emphasize that you should be yourself when writing a love letter, and you shouldn't write it for just anyone. For the right person, a love letter can be a tearjerker. If you write it for the girl next door you've never talked to, however, it can come across as a bit creepy. It is the same as if the two of you have broken up, and the other party is clear that they don't want you back.

Otherwise, don't overthink it and write it down.

Also, handwritten is more personable, but if you don't want to handwrite it, then typing and printing may work fine. We understand not everyone has the best handwriting.

Writing A Love Letter Is An Art
Learn More With A Licensed Relationship Expert Online Today!

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Seek Help!

A love letter can be a way to cope or fix a relationship, but this shouldn't be the only way to repair a relationship. Seeking professional counseling is another way that you can help repair the relationship.

Also, counseling is good if you feel like you're unsure if the person loves you back. A therapist knows how the human mind works, and they can tell you if there are any clues you may have missed or if the person doesn't love you at all.

And if you're considering writing a letter, a therapist can tell you whether or not that's a good idea, and if it is, they can be your second pair of eyes that review the love letter and makes sure it's as impactful as it should be.


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