10 Tips For Writing Love Notes For Her

By ReGain Editorial Team|Updated June 23, 2022
CheckedMedically Reviewed By Laura Angers, NCC, LPC

Writing a love note for someone is intimidating. You might not know what to say or how to say it. Putting yourself out there on paper is a challenge, but with a little help, you can open up in a way that is easier than talking face to face. Here are ten tips for writing love notes for her.

1. Use Your Voice

Finding The Right Words Can Be Difficult
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With all the famous poems about love out there and enough cheesy lines from movies to fill a book, it is tempting to use someone else's words in your note. But, a letter that reflects your personality will be much more meaningful and memorable. Stick with your style of communication, even if that means it is not perfect. Avoid words that you do not use in your everyday vocabulary, and try not to write in a way that does not sound like you if you are struggling with finding your voice; practice how you would talk face to face and write like that.

2. Keep Your Current Relationship In Mind

The tone of your love note should not stray far from your current relationship. If you do not know each other very well, be polite and speak to her just like you would in person. If you have been together for a long time, and your relationship already has a certain character, play on that.

If your note is about how much you want to be with her, do not fill it with quotes about loving someone who doesn't love you back. If you have an otherwise great relationship but come off overbearing or needy in a letter, you likely will not get the response you want.

3. Get Inspired

If writing romantically is not something that comes naturally to you, look for inspiration in quotes about love or love poems. You do not want to copy exactly what another writer has said before, but the messages and themes you find in published works can help you come up with your ideas.

If that fails, look to your lady for inspiration. What is unique about her? What makes her attractive to you? If her beauty captures your attention, write about that. If your favorite thing about her is the time you spend together, let your memories motivate you. No one wants a love note that lacks meaning, so think creatively about why you want to put pen to paper.

4. Say What You Mean To Say

Sometimes, it is fun to write a love note for no particular reason. But more often than not, you are writing to achieve something. Maybe you are confessing your feelings to her for the first time? Maybe you want to tell her "thank you" for something she has done. Whatever the reason is, it is important to write your letter to get your message across.

If your note includes hard to say in person, do not dance around the issue on paper either. Stay away from jokes or puns about love if it is not relevant to what you are trying to say.

There is a good chance she will want to discuss your note at some point face to face. Both of you will benefit from having an idea of where the conversation will go. Writing clearly will help you tackle whatever is on your mind head-on and leave little room for confusion in the future.

5. Size Doesn't Matter

When most people think of a love note, they imagine a long, drawn-out letter. But, if it feels right to keep your letter short, that is okay. Love notes can be as simple as one or two sentences or as complex as multiple pages.

Whatever length you need to tell your message works, but never cut it short out of laziness or because you are rushing to get it done. Your significant other will be able to tell if you did not put in the right amount of thought for what you are trying to say.

If your note feels too short, you can always include a few love quotes to add to your message. But remember to use quotations and write the original author's name so that the overall voice of the letter stays your own.

6. Remember It Is In Writing

One of the benefits (or drawbacks, depending on your perspective) about writing is that what you say is permanent. Unlike a phone call or face-to-face conversation where words can get lost or forgotten, what you put on paper is harder to get erased.

If your love note for her includes promises, fulfill them. If it has apologies, make sure they are sincere. What you write will mean a lot to her, and she is likely to hold you to what you took the time to say. There is a high probability she will keep this note for a long time, too, so do not write anything that you will not stand by in the future.

7. Appeal To Her Love Language

Finding The Right Words Can Be Difficult

Everyone has ways in which they give and receive love. One person may like to show love by giving their significant other gifts or praising them for everything they do. However, their partner may not feel love when they are showered with attention. In fact, their partner may only feel truly loved during physical contact. This means all the gifts and praise in the world would not be as important to them as walking down the street hand in hand.

When writing your letter, think about how your partner likes to receive love. Remember that you are writing for her, not you. If flooding her with compliments works for you but makes her uneasy, a love note that goes on and on about how amazing she is will likely have a little lasting impact.

If you are not sure what your lady's love language is, check out Dr. Gary Chapman's "5 Languages of Love" quiz. You and she can both take the quiz and compare your needs. Her result can help guide you in writing your note.

If your written word has had little success in the past, consider speaking with a licensed relationship counselor too. A love note is not always about what you want to say to her; it should make her feel more connected to you. Strong communication and an understanding of her needs are key for this to work, and if that is not happening, a therapist can offer extra support.

8. Presentation Matters

While you should always stick to your writing style, it is important to give your love note the last read-through before sending it on its way. Your letter should make sense and have a few spelling errors as possible. Always write it on a clean sheet of paper, and if your handwriting is not the best, type it instead. Folding it nicely or placing it in an envelope is fine. The nicer it looks, the more she will know you have put serious thought into what you have written.

9. Be Spontaneous

The popular love saying, "be spontaneous," does not just apply to the things you do together. It can work for love notes too. We live in a world where we rely on technology more and more often, and it is likely most of your communication with your love interest happens over text or e-mail.

Writing a note is unexpected but in a good way. It helps shake things up from the norm. When you write a love note without being asked, it says a lot of things to her. It shows that you think about her when she is away. It proves you make time for her. It also hints that you are capable of intimacy in ways that are beyond the physical. It takes time and effort to write a love note, and that will not go unnoticed by your lady.

10. Write Often

Writing a love note should not be a one-time thing. They allow you to organize your thoughts before sharing them with your significant other and help you say things that are not always easy to say face to face. If you write love notes often, the communication in your relationship will grow. Your partner will feel appreciated and understood, and it will keep your relationship exciting. If communication is a problem between you and the person you love, love notes can help, but working with a licensed counselor can have even better results. Don't try to save your relationship with love notes alone.

Writing love notes can be challenging, especially if you are not sure where to begin. Luckily, there is no "right" or "wrong" way to write something meaningful to someone you love. As long as you speak from the heart and keep these tips in mind, you can feel comfortable with what you are sending her. Do not forget to keep an eye out for the love notes for him that you will receive back if writing happens more often in your relationship.

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