How To Be A Better Partner In A Struggling Relationship

Updated April 10, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

A relationship is only as strong as the two people in it. A relationship can’t flourish if either partner is less than committed and unable to give the best of themselves. To strengthen the relationship, you must first strengthen your role as a partner, especially in struggling relationships. There is nothing you can do to make your mate better in the relationship. However, you have complete control over yourself and can do many things to improve your relationship.

If you’re constantly wondering how to become a better partner in a struggling relationship, you aren’t alone. More than 15% of couples admit to getting professional help to work through relationship issues. Each person involved needs to find their strength as an individual to make the relationship as a whole work. If you’re committed to becoming better as a person, you can honestly say that you’re giving your best to make your relationship as strong as possible. Keep reading to learn more about how to improve your struggling relationship.

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Is your relationship struggling?

A relationship doesn’t begin to struggle overnight. As you go through your days and weeks, you will likely notice signs that things are breaking down. You mustn’t ignore these signs. The longer you allow them to linger, the worse they may become. To improve a struggling relationship, you must first improve the areas in which you are struggling.

All relationships encounter rough patches, but the key is to communicate any issues of concern within the relationship openly. Don’t allow every little thing to have a negative impact on you or your behavior. Everyone will have an occasional bad day and feel out of touch at times, but it can cause the relationship to struggle if this is a lingering feeling.

Becoming a better partner may be the key to improving your relationship. Here are a few indicators that your relationship may be struggling and you should consider seeking answers regarding how to be a better partner.

Intimacy has diminished

Rough patches in a relationship can make it difficult to connect intimately. If you’ve noticed that the intimacy between you and your partner is almost non-existent or that the desire for it is less than it once was, this could indicate that things are worse than just a rough patch. Once intimacy begins to dwindle, your emotional and mental connection may also be off.

There’s an unhealthy amount of space between the two of you

Having space is necessary, but too much of it can harm a relationship. You don’t necessarily have to see each other daily or sleep under the same roof each night. However, if it becomes normal to go days or weeks without seeing each other, that’s a sign of trouble. If you and your partner are going weeks without being close to each other, your relationship is likely struggling.

You have time for everything except your partner

If you’ve found that you’re able to find time for friends, family, and hobbies, but not your partner, there may well be trouble in paradise. A healthy relationship is one where both partners make time for each other. Life will present issues that sometimes prevent you from spending the same amount of time together from week to week. It’s important to develop strategies or make an honest effort to overcome those issues and create quality time for each other.

You and your partner aren’t talking to each other

This is probably one of the top ways to tell that your relationship is struggling. If you find yourself thinking internally about your problems but not discussing them with your mate, you need to find a way to address the issues presenting themselves. It’s important to express to your partner your feelings and things that concern you regarding your relationship. If your partner is holding back or not talking to you as much, try to initiate conversations or open lines of communication.

Relationships aren’t always easy. Intense conversations with open communication usually ground long-term relationships. Discussions about intimacy, money, time, and goals are all important to have. They are major players in the relationship game, as they should be. However, any issues that arise should be given equal amounts of attention to avoid relationship conflict. Choosing to ignore problems in hopes that they’ll disappear is unhealthy and not good for the relationship.

Becoming a better partner

If you are searching for the answer to becoming a better partner, you should know that there is no scientific formula with which to derive the answer. You can, however, implement several strategies to help improve your role as a partner in your relationship, including the following.

Exercise patience and trust

Patience is an important trait to have in life and even more beneficial in your relationship. Learn to exercise patience in all aspects of your relationship. For example, don’t complain, become easily frustrated, or display anger while waiting for your partner to arrive where you're meeting for dinner. If your partner is running behind or arrives later than the appointed time, wait patiently and don’t dwell on it upon their arrival. Practicing patience helps you to become a better partner in your relationship. Be trusting in your relationship, and don’t allow jealousy to overtake you. Trust is one of the leading causes of couples splitting.

A proactive partner is a progressive partner

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You must be proactive and not reactive. Whatever issues you face in your relationship with your partner, search for positive solutions. That’s a proactive approach. Too often, couples fall victim to struggling relationships because they react to every issue they face. Is the relationship facing financial struggles? Search for ways to supplement your income. Is there not enough time spent together as a couple? Make a plan for dedicated time for you and your partner to do something together.

Display humbleness

Eliminate pride and egotism from your personal list of traits. Become humble and admit your flaws as a partner. Regardless of how influential you are, emit a balanced display of respect, compassion, support, and love to your mate.

Focus on personal development

Personal development leads to self-improvement. You must focus on augmenting your romantic abilities and improving your attitude and qualities as a partner. This translates to you not only being a romantic and humorous partner but a loving, kind, and caring one as well.

A heart of kindness

It’s possible to be a good-hearted person with bad habits. When you're in a relationship with another person, kindness should always reside in your heart. Don’t display acts of hatred or self-centeredness at any point in the relationship. If you commit to being a partner that displays kindness, love will be a focus of the relationship.

Be a gentle giant

Gentleness is important in your relationship. You can be the gentlest person in the world, but failure to show this side to your partner doesn’t help your relationship. Be kind to your partner and don’t hurt them emotionally or mentally. Guard their body, mind, heart, and soul.

Show gratitude to your partner

You should show gratitude to your partner by thanking them for being a part of your life. Be appreciative of their kind gestures, efforts, and the compromises they make for you and the relationship. It doesn’t matter how huge or small their efforts may be; they show contentment. Don’t be envious of what others have in their relationship that you might lack in yours. Make sure your mate knows that they are important to you and make your life complete.

Commit to listen more

As a partner in a relationship, listening is essential to a happy and successful union. Listening goes beyond what is being expressed verbally, but you must also listen to matters of the heart. Sometimes your partner may say that they’re okay, but their heart may be saying something totally different. When your partner speaks, look into their eyes. When they’re expressing their frustrations, listen to respond and not to react. Practice active listening with your partner to truly understand what they are saying.

Be respectful

Remember that your partner’s feelings are important. Failure to respect them can lead to relationship issues brought on by hurt feelings. Be a nourisher and always keep your promises. To respect your partner, you must first know how to respect yourself.

You have to love yourself

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Looking to strengthen your relationship?

A good partner realizes that self-care and self-love are important. Your partner may grow concerned if you aren’t implementing self-care that helps you thrive as a person. Practice healthy habits that help you to grow as an individual and lead a healthy life. Avoid stressful lifestyle habits and implement healthy physical and emotional choices to help you feel good about yourself. If you feel good mentally, physically, and emotionally, you will be able to be the type of partner that your mate deserves. Both people deserve to be happy in a relationship.

Become the best partner you can be

If you desire to understand how to be a better partner in struggling relationships, you must commit to identifying and addressing your flaws. Begin the process by pledging pure and unconditional support and love to your mate. This requires you to eliminate impurities and any other elements that interfere with your ability to be a great partner.

The traits that destroy a relationship include hatred, boastfulness, selfishness, dishonesty, and other similar characteristics. Replace those with kindness, pure-heartedness, respect, faithfulness, humility, and trust. These are the foundation of a healthy and prosperous relationship. Both healthy and struggling relationships may benefit greatly from relationship counseling. It can be a great tool for building a relationship that lasts.

Many couples have turned to online counseling when they've experienced struggle in their relationship—or simply want to maintain a relationship that's thriving. It can be difficult to manage appointments at a therapist's physical office for one person, let alone two. With online therapy, everything is done through an electronic device, making connecting much simpler. Online counseling is often less expensive than in-person therapy, too, making it a good choice for those on a budget.

Regain is an online therapy platform designed to cater to those in relationships. After filling out a questionnaire, you and your partner are matched with a licensed therapist who can work with you alone or together—or a combination of both. Here are some reviews written by those who have connected with a Regain counselor.

Counselor reviews

“Sessions with Natalie are very insightful and give practical advice on implementing new habits and changes. Be prepared to engage and be challenged to think in a different way. I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together.”

“Austa has been wonderful thus far. She has helped my partner and I during an unimaginably difficult time... She has also guided us in communicating effectively and setting appropriate boundaries in our relationship. I was hesitant to pursue counseling at the beginning, but I truly believe that it is making a difference for our relationship. Austa is easy to talk to and she is a great listener. I would wholeheartedly recommend her as a counselor.”

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