I'm Sad All the Time -- What Can I Do?
Sadness is a part of life. Regardless of race, class, socioeconomic background, or any other factor, each person will experience sadness at one point or another. The reality is that everyone goes through circumstances that are challenging, unexpected, and even upsetting. The ability to deal with these challenges constructively when they present themselves will greatly determine your quality of life. Being sad is a part of being human; never mistake this as a sign of weakness or an indicator that you're not good enough.
Despite the reality that no one is happy at all times, if you find yourself in a situation where you are always feeling sad, this indicates a bigger issue. Nobody is happy all the time, but if you are sad all the time, then that's a problem. When you're always sad, this holds you back from experiencing more positive emotions and enjoying all that life has to offer you. Thankfully, you don't have to be sad all the time, and if you take certain steps, you can begin to feel happy again. If you’re bothered with thoughts like “Why Im so sad” continue to read below.
Figuring out why you're sad
If you're sad all the time, there is almost certainly a reason. Sometimes, though, this core reason can hide behind the emotions we experience regularly. When someone is constantly sad, it may be a sign that something in their life is missing, out of place, or otherwise not as it should be.
Thankfully, it is within your power to change this even if you haven't realized this before. No matter how bleak things may seem, you are in control of what happens to you. You also have the power to make changes in your life if you want to experience happiness. In most cases, it helps to review and assess specific parts of your life to find out why you're sad all the time.
Lifestyle
Looking at the quality of your lifestyle will often be very telling as to why you are experiencing constant sadness. How do you feel when you wake up each day? What do you have to look forward to? Are you actively engaging in behaviors to improve the quality of your life, or are you repeating vicious cycles? All of this makes a difference and small things you don't think about add up over time. Your lifestyle significantly impacts the emotional state which you experience regularly. If this state isn't pleasing to you, this is a sign that certain changes are in order.
Relationships
You are the company that you keep. The quality of individuals you choose to spend time with is another factor that will largely determine whether or not you are experiencing sadness all the time. Are you around happy and fulfilled people in life, or are you surrounded by individuals who are disgruntled and sad more often than not?
How do you feel when you are around the individuals that you spend time with? If you want to be happy, it helps to be around others who are happy. Furthermore, happiness is encouraged by being around people who uplift you, care for you, and want what is best for you. When you decide to spend time with people, make sure that those relationships have a healthy and mutually constructive foundation.
Environment
As for your lifestyle and relationships, the quality of your environment is yet another factor that will contribute to your regular emotional state. For most people, the quality of their homes and workplaces are the environments which they frequent most regularly. If you're unrelaxed and on edge when you're at home, this will eventually begin to impact your overall emotional state.
Likewise, if you go to work and feel dissatisfied or resentful towards others in the workplace, this too will impact how you feel. The environments you choose to be a part of matter and carry over into other aspects of your life. If you're habitually having problems in your environment, see what you can do to make a change or bring about a difference. If this isn't possible, then it may be time to reconsider whether or not your environments are conducive to your mental health.
Unresolved past issues
The issues that we fail to resolve to have a way of coming back to haunt us. Dealing with certain trauma is often easier said than done, and sometimes, people prefer to sweep things under the rug. As tempting as this can be, sweeping problems under the rug does not make them go away; they fester, linger, and then manifest in ways that can damage our lives, mental health, and emotional wellbeing. If you're constantly feeling the blues, unresolved issues from your past could very well be a reason why. Getting ahead of this will benefit you in both the short term and the long term.
Taking steps to be happy again
Happiness is an amazing part of life that you deserve to experience. Sometimes, it takes effort to be happy, but this doesn't mean that it can't be done. After all, you are in control of your life, and you have the power to make decisions that are conducive to your happiness as an individual. No matter who you are or what you may be up against, remember that you can make a change is always important. This is especially important when you are actively working to stop feeling sad all the time.
Think positively
How you think about yourself and life will greatly contribute to your happiness or lack thereof. Being happy doesn't mean that you will never face challenges; however, how you think of those challenges will largely contribute to your emotional state.
In the face of difficulty, instead of thinking, "I'm doomed," tell yourself, "I've got this." When something proves to be challenging, instead of thinking, "oh, poor me," ask yourself, "what can I learn from this?" Positively thinking about life and approaching obstacles from a positive mindset will significantly aid you in your quest to be happy again.
Find balance
Balance is a critical component that everyone needs in life, especially if they want to be happy. Even the best things in the world can become toxic and dangerous in excess. Finding a sense of balance in your life, from your work to personal experiences, etc., will contribute to your happiness and make you a more well-rounded person in general.
For instance, if you are constantly on the go as part of your job, taking time to meditate a few times per week can make a positive difference. Likewise, if you find yourself constantly engaging in activities that require solitude, putting yourself in social settings at least some of the time might not be such a terrible idea. Balance means different things for different people; ultimately, what's most important is how you feel and experiencing life.
Discover and live by your values
What do you value in life? What is most important to you? What moral code do you live by? There is no right or wrong answer to any of these questions, and the answers lie within you. Discovering and living by your values requires a lot of soul searching and getting to know yourself, but in the end, it's always worth it. The reality is that many unhappy people spend their time trying to please others or live by the values of others instead of themselves. No matter how wonderful of a person you are, you will never be able to please everyone. This is why getting to know yourself, learning what your values are, and then sticking to them will immensely benefit you and allow you to find happiness.
When it’s time to ask for help
If you are constantly sad and unable to change this, seeking professional help is likely your next best move. Ongoing, unrelenting sadness may be indicative of forthcoming depression or some other mental or emotional health concern. Working with a mental health specialist is nothing to be ashamed of; as a matter of fact, professional help has changed countless lives.
When you work with a therapist, you can speak to someone who will work with you, get to know you, and understand your situation. And some options, like online therapy, are especially accessible and convenient. One of the major upsides of online therapy is the ability to get care no matter who you are or where you live.
Research also indicates that online therapy can be just as effective as in-person therapy when it comes to treating depression symptoms. Even if your sadness isn’t related to depression, it’s likely that online therapy can successfully help you get to the root of the problem. From there, you can build lasting changes and skills that help set you on the right track.
Working with an outline therapist will likely still involve opening up, answering questions, and perhaps confronting some issues which are not the most comfortable. In the beginning, this can be challenging, but ultimately, the long-term benefits should outweigh the short-term discomfort.
Takeaway
Feeling sad every now and then can be normal; sadness is a part of life. But when occasional sadness becomes chronic, something deeper may be at play. Whether unresolved trauma, issues in relationships, a poor attitude, or something else entirely, the causes of chronic sadness can be complex. Working with a mental health professional like a therapist can help you dig deep into why you’re sad and learn what you can do to feel better.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
Is it okay to be sad?
Experiencing sadness for any apparent reason is perfectly normal. Like other emotions, sadness is a natural reaction to someone’s perception of depressing stimuli. It’s officially categorized as a negative emotion. But however uncomfortable, it’s okay to feel sad for a period of time because doing so may provide the following benefits:
- Improved understanding of external elements
- Enhanced sense of compassion
- Boosted perseverance
- Decreased prejudice and bias
Research also suggests that feeling sad for any apparent reason can improve memory, attention to detail, and problem-solving abilities. Moreover, it can be motivating in the right context. That’s because sadness triggers a mental alarm that promotes greater awareness and empathy. However, if you experience feelings of sadness for too long or too often, it may be a sign of a serious mental health disorder; treatment may be needed.
How long is too long for sadness?
Feeling sad for no apparent reason is a sign of mental illness, but sadness itself is not always an unnatural emotion. Sad feelings are the mind’s normal reaction to things that cause emotional pain or discomfort. Therefore, experiencing sadness for a short period of time is usually no cause for alarm.
However, depression is something different entirely. Like sadness, it produces negative emotions that may be difficult to manage. But mental health experts define depression as feeling sad all the time for no apparent reason, paired with symptoms that can hinder relationships, occupations, and social interactions. If left untreated, prolonged sadness can turn into clinical depression or lead to eating disorders.
If you feel as though you have depression or experience sadness for no apparent reason, treatment is available. Mental health experts can help you find a solution and learn new ways to cope with emotional turmoil using intuitive tools and resources.
Is it healthy to cry?
While crying for no apparent reason is a sign of clinical depression, shedding tears for a short period of time is actually good for your health. Crying is natural when we feel sad or extremely elated. It’s a common symptom of natural human emotions, and many things can trigger it. Research even shows that crying can benefit a person’s mental and physical health in several different ways, including:
- Chemical and/or emotional detox
- Pain reduction
- Mood enhancement
- Self-inflicted soothing
- Faster grief recovery
- Tighter interpersonal bonds
- Restored emotional balance
Thus, getting teary-eyed doesn’t always mean you must find a solution to stop experiencing sadness. Instead, it may increase your ability to connect with others or process your thoughts and feelings without sinking into depression. The same is true with adults and children.
Crying is especially good for babies and young children because it helps them clear our fluid in their lungs. Plus, controlled crying (graduated extinction) may help youngsters fall asleep faster, stay asleep longer, and reach deeper REM levels. And since it provides the same mental and physical benefits mentioned above, crying may also help children develop better problem-solving skills.
NOTE: If you start crying for no apparent reason or suspect an underlying mental health disorder, treatment is available in the form of therapeutic tools and resources. A therapist can help you find a solution and dry your eyes.
How do I heal myself emotionally?
Emotional healing can be difficult, especially if you feel sad or often cry for no apparent reason. Lifestyle choices and habits may affect your ability to heal as well. However, it’s an important step because neglecting emotional turmoil can lead to anxiety, clinical depression, and eating disorders. It may also affect your problem-solving abilities and can reduce your willingness to bond with others.
To heal emotionally, you must first set up healthy boundaries and work to remove negative interferences that contribute to your turmoil. Then, you must do these 5 things (with the help of a psychiatrist if you want to stay on track):
#1. Learn who you are, and don’t be afraid of it.
Embrace your unique personality and stop making excuses for other people’s bad behavior and negative remarks. Choose your own style, pick out your favorite foods to eat, and define your values based on what you find most important.
#2. Give and receive love.
While solitude is an important element in mental and emotional health, so is togetherness. Healing emotionally requires a balance that allows enough time and space for coping yet plenty of time for practicing empathy and compassion.
#3. Let go of the past.
Recalling past events is one of the most common ways people experience anxiety, depression, and emotional pain. Those events cannot change, but our perceptions of them can. So, begin detaching from the past, using the nitty-gritty details as motivation for a happier future.
#4. Find meaning in your life.
The meaning of your life can be whatever you want it to be. It’s a subjective experience that should be based on your innate passions and preferences. Emotional healing begins and ends where you find purpose, regardless of negative external influences that say otherwise.
#5. Learn new coping mechanisms
Start healing emotionally by dropping the coping mechanisms that make your problems worse. Instead, develop healthy habits that promote personal growth. If you suspect an emotional disorder, treatment may be available. Seek professional guidance for help.
Is it unhealthy to cry yourself to sleep?
Crying is the human body’s way of releasing emotional pain and processing trauma. It’s a form of self-soothing, and it’s completely normal as long as it’s not too often (and isn’t because of no apparent reason). Thus, crying yourself to sleep may be beneficial to your mental and emotional health, especially if you use other healthy coping mechanisms along with it.
In fact, some studies suggest that crying yourself to sleep at least once per week can boost your mood in the morning. That’s because it helps the brain and body detox stress hormones and toxins like prolactin and cortisol. In turn, crying before bed may actually help you sleep better at night. Therefore, the term “having a good cry” actually holds weight.
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