Is Your Partner Having An Emotional Affair? Signs And Cues You Might Be Missing

Has your partner seemed like they're acting different than they used to? Maybe they seem to be distant, or maybe they're even more emotional and friendly than ever. Maybe they seem too clingy or too far removed. No matter what's going on, you've noticed that there are some changes and now you're wondering just what might be going on. Or maybe you haven't noticed anything at all, but your friends and family are making remarks that something is wrong. Well then, it's time to start looking at whether your partner might be having an affair.

What is an emotional affair?

Now, a physical affair gets a whole lot of attention. People talk about physical affairs a lot, and it's easy to define what they are. We know when we're physically close to someone, and we know it's wrong. But emotional affairs can be a little more complicated.

Signs of an emotional affair

Before you talk with your partner, you're likely going to want to find out what some of the signs are. From there, you might be able to understand better what's going on and what is not and you'll know if it's time to confront your partner. Maybe your friends or family aren't seeing what's really happening or maybe you do not see things quite the right way. But you do not see you've been ignoring things for a little too long, or your partner has been doing things they shouldn't have been doing without even realizing it. You'll never know unless you pay close attention to signs that your spouse is having an affair.

Contacting someone when they're with you

Now, your partner talking to their friends or even their colleagues when they're with you is not generally a cause for concern. You would expect that sometimes they would want or need to talk to these people. But excessive contact or contact that seems to happen at all hours of the day or night might be a sign of something else. If they're constantly talking, texting, emailing or in some way contacting that one specific person then it might be a sign something else is going on.

Talking with someone about your problems

Sometimes people like to vent and having a close friend that you can vent to when there's a problem in your relationship or when you're struggling is normal. But there are going to be some things that you and your partner keep to yourselves. There are probably secrets that you don't talk about with anyone else or confidences that you expect them to keep. If they're talking to someone else about those things, however, that's a sign that there's more to the story.

Bringing up someone else constantly

Again, your partner is going to want to talk about their friend, and they may have stories to tell you about their colleagues or other people that they talk to occasionally and that's normal. They might even come home every day with a different story or a couple of stories, but if they're talking about that person a lot or bringing up their name in conversation a lot, then that's not a good sign. It means that they're thinking about that one particular person quite frequently and they may be doing more than just thinking about them.

Spending a lot of time with someone

We're not trying to say that your partner shouldn't spend time with people. Going out for drinks with their friends or colleagues is perfectly normal. Going to play golf or a movie or anywhere else with a group is normal too, but if they're spending a lot of time with a particular person that might be different. Sure, they're going to have a best friend that they spend the most time with, but you'll be able to tell if they're suddenly spending a lot of time with someone else (or if the time spent with that best friend has changed).

Talking about how much someone understands them

If they start talking about all the ways that this other person understands them and gets where they're coming from, it means that they're thinking about them in ways that they shouldn't. This other person should never be able to understand them better than you do and if they believe that's the case, it means that something is happening that you should be getting to the bottom of. You want them to have close friendships, but if they're telling you that this person 'understands them better' then that's a red flag.

Keeping secrets about contact with someone

If there's nothing bad about the contact that your partner is having with someone, then there's no reason that they shouldn't be able to talk to you about it. They should be able to tell you that they're calling x person or texting y person. They should be able to tell you that they had lunch with a colleague or they're going to drinks with someone. But if they're lying about it or hiding it from you, it means that they know they're doing something that they shouldn't be doing.

What you need to know

Maybe you already suspected that your partner was having an emotional affair, but you're not sure what the big deal is. Some people assume that having that kind of emotional attachment to someone is no big deal. Your partner needs close friends, too, right? And they may not have any intention of taking that 'relationship' any further than what it is. But the truth is that you're opening yourself (and themselves) up to some very serious problems if you don't address this immediately.

Emotional affairs generally start as friendships. That friendship slowly starts to get closer and closer over time and eventually turns into what's considered an emotional affair. From there, they can easily turn into the two individuals flirting with one another in a way that might seem harmless at first but quickly becomes a great deal more. Before you know it, that friendship has jumped from nothing at all to full-blown cheating, and none of you even realize how exactly it got from a to c so quickly.

Now, that's not to say that every friendship you or your partner has will turn into cheating. Nothing could be further from the truth. The two of you should have healthy friendships outside your relationship. You should have people that you can talk to, vent to and whatever else you need. But it's important to keep some very strong boundaries and to make sure that you and your partner aren't getting caught up in any emotional entanglement.

Sometimes it's difficult for either one of you to realize what's going on or to recognize that an emotional affair is happening. You might think they're just nice or they might think they're just friendly. But when you start to recognize any of these signs, it's a good time to talk with your partner. They may know full well what they're doing or they may not, but either way, the only way to do something about the issue is to own up and talk to them. From there, you can make your choice about what to do.

Getting professional help

If you're struggling with an emotional affair, you should seek professional help as soon as possible. A mental health professional can help you deal with your emotional infidelity or one that's happening between your partner and someone else. Whether you've known about it for a long time or you're just finding out the truth of it now, an emotional affair can take a very strong toll on you, and it's going to make an impact on your relationship moving forward.

If you and your partner are looking for a mental health professional to help with an emotional affair or any other type of mental health issue, Regain is the place you should be looking. You'll be able to find online support and assistance located anywhere that you are. That's because all you need to do is log on the website, and you'll be able to connect with a mental health professional. It's as simple as that, and you'll be able to communicate with just about anyone you could want, in the entire country. That makes it easier and a whole lot more efficient for you to get the help you're looking for.