Why Am I So Sad And Why Won’t It Go Away?

Updated April 10, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Feelings of sadness are part of life, usually occurring after something difficult, painful, or disappointing happens. However, eventually sadness subsides, whether because of the passage of time or you have recovered from the loss. In some cases, this feeling becomes pervasive and does not go away on its own. 

You may have reached the point where you ask yourself, “why am I so sad?” This could indicate that there are greater forces at work and that it is more than a simple, sad mood.

Understanding that there is a difference between those times when you feel sad and depressed is important as the latter is a mental health issue that needs to be addressed. Persistent sad feelings can be a sign of a serious mood disorder known as major depressive disorder. If you are asking why your sadness will not leave, read on. In this article, we describe the difference between sadness and depression, possible causes, and self-management strategies. 

Understanding sadness versus depression

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Feeling sad and it’s not going away?

Sadness is a natural human emotion necessary for processing the loss of something that is highly valued. There is, however, a distinct difference between a sad mood and having sad feelings all the time. Consistently feeling sad and thinking, “why am I so sad?” is more than the experience of having a human emotion. Prolonged feelings of sadness can be an indicator of an underlying medical or mental health disorder, including major depressive disorder.  

According to the American Psychiatric Association (APA),  being sad is not the same as having depression. While depression can cause feelings of sadness, this mood disorder has additional symptoms that can affect one’s performance at work or their ability to complete essential functions at home. These symptoms include:

  • A change in appetite
  • A decrease in energy or physical stability
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
  • Thoughts of death or contemplating suicide
  • Sleeping too much or too little

Some medical conditions can also cause similar symptoms, such as thyroid issues or even brain tumors. Therefore, your physician must rule out any other medical problems behind your symptoms when examining your mental health.

Depression can be caused by a number of factors, including a clinical neurological imbalance in the brain that can have far-reaching effects on the rest of your body. Ignoring those signs is not something that you should do, as it can be dangerous to your overall health. If you are asking yourself "Am I depressed?", know there are things to look out for that indicate your sad feelings may be something more. Instead of ignoring those sad feelings, take heed of .

A lack of focus or drive

You may be tempted to dismiss a lack of focus or drive as just being bored or not interested in the task at hand. But if this feeling lingers and is accompanied by persistent sadness, this could be a sign of something more significant. People who are managing depression may feel a loss of motivation or a lack of energy to complete tasks or follow through with expected responsibilities. 

Not seeing the good in life may be more than just not having a positive attitude. Trouble focusing and a lack of motivation can point to a neurological imbalance in the brain indicative of a depressive disorder. Some people may tell you that you can change everything with your mentality, but it is not that simple.

Environmental factors

Alternatively, just because you feel sad or have sad feelings does not automatically mean that it is depression. Perhaps there are factors in your life that are contributing to the way that you are feeling. Life is challenging and full of surprises that often are unexpected and painful. You may be having a difficult time at work or school or a relationship just ended. Money problems are another cause of stress that can precipitate a bout of sadness. 

Examining your life and looking at the things that cause you to stress is an essential first step towards figuring out if it genuinely is depression or something else. Many factors in our daily lives can result in stress and sadness, but they can be difficult to spot when they are compounded. Again, if the sadness persists even when those environmental factors have turned around for the better, it may not be those external factors that were the problem.

Self-deprecation

We all know that person who seems to make fun of themselves all the time. They point out their own flaws and try to pass it off as though these feelings are simply them poking fun at the things they perceive as negatives.

But more times than not, those feelings are because there is a negative self-view that is permeating someone’s personhood. When this happens, that person may be managing intense feelings of low self-esteem and self-worth. Experiencing feelings of low self-esteem is something that can happen to many people, especially when under intense stress or after experiencing a loss, such as a divorce. 

Yet, when talking negatively or believing yourself to be less than you are worth becomes a regular pattern, it is time to reach for support. The next section offers some guidance in how to support yourself when sadness persists and the benefits of a mental health therapist. 

How do I manage?

The first step is to ask yourself, “why am I so sad?” and identify if you can answer the question with something definitive. Whether, you know the cause or you are concerned you may be managing a mental health disorder, consider talking to a professional like Regain. Reaching for professional support can be difficult,  but they can open avenues within you that you may not have known existed.

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In therapy sessions, you can talking to a professional about your sad feelings who always help you to identify thought patterns that may be keeping you from recovery. You also work towards a diagnosis if you have a medical or mental health disorder that are causing the symptoms. 

If you have seen a professional and it has been determined that it is not clinical depression or you want to try a different avenue, there are other courses of action.

Be clear about values

When we feel sad, it is easy to lose sight of the things in our lives that hold value to us. It could be a job, friends, family, a pet; whatever those things are, they bring you happiness, whether you realize it or not.

Identifying these values can give you a greater sense of perspective. If you value your job, perhaps it can give you a sense of achievement and accomplishment. Whatever those values are, identifying them can provide you with something to focus on. Having these focuses can then lead to an improved feeling of happiness in your life.

Focus on the enjoyable things in life

When it seems like nothing is right, focusing on the good things in your life can help combat those negative feelings. Taking part in the things that bring joy to your life can be enough to get you out of that rut and bring on feelings of happiness again.

Gratitude can be strategy to help retrain your focus on the enjoyable parts of your life. Practicing thankfulness helps you to recognize the good in your life and replaces negative thinking patterns with a positive mindset leading to decreased sadness and increased happiness. 

Accept the sadness

Sadness is typically not embraced as a cherished emotion, but rather a feeling that needs to leave as quickly as it arrived. However, scientists have found that sadness has some benefits, including increases attention to details, encourages perseverance, and promotes generosity. If you feel like you want to ignore your sadness or stuff it away, recognize that this emotion is a valuable and necessary component of our emotional responses to life events. 

When you feel sad, take a minute to acknowledge those feelings. Let yourself cry, a natural release of emotions and toxins that is followed by a physiological response, including reduced pain and improved mood. Once you have gone through that process, try to move forward. If you are unable, know you can reach for a loved one for emotional support or a mental health therapist. There is no need to work through your sadness alone. 

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Feeling sad and it’s not going away?

Reaching for professional support

Sadness is a natural reaction to a distressing, disappointing, or displeasing event. Where sadness may be a sign of a deeper mental health issue is when you feel excessively sad without pinpointing the exact reasoning, you are tired and sick easily, or you don’t find enjoyment in your usual past times. If this sounds familiar to you, then it may be time to consult a professional. Simply accepting that you are sad all the time and carrying on without help is a burden you do not have to carry alone. A psychologist or other qualified medical professional will be able to diagnose the cause of your persistent sadness and give you a treatment plan that may include therapy and/or medications. 

Living with sadness or other symptoms of depression can make it difficult for a person to find the energy or motivation to plan in-person therapy appointments and follow through with a set schedule. If you find it challenging to attend in-person therapy, consider working with an online psychologist. Online therapy is a beneficial and convenient alternative to in-person therapy for several reasons, including accessibility, cost-effectiveness, and reduced stress. Research also supports the efficacy of online therapy as being equally effective as in-person therapy for people managing depression with the added benefits of convenience and accessibility. 

Whether, you know the cause of your sadness or you are concerned you may be managing a mental health disorder, consider talking to an online professional counselor like Regain. Reaching for professional support can be difficult, but they can open avenues within you that you may not have known existed.

Takeaway

Feeling sad is a completely natural and necessary human emotion. It allows us to process the times when we lose something we highly value. When that sadness persists and becomes a mainstay in our lives than that it is a true problem that needs addressing. Do not ignore that persistent sadness and seek help. Sadness is okay from time to time, but do not  let it become a dominant factor in your life. If these feelings persist, reach out to a trained counselor to assist.

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