When a relationship is going through problems, many will resolve their issues through some form of therapy. Many types of relationship therapy can help couples resolve their problems in the most civil manner possible.
One such method that’s worth looking into is the Gottman Method.
What Is the Gottman Method?
The Gottman Method takes an assessment of the couple’s relationship and then intervenes using the Sound Relationship House Theory, which we will discuss later. When you go through the Gottman Method, you start with the assessment, where you’re interviewed individually and together. You’ll take questionnaires about your relationship, receive feedback on it, and then see how you stack up.
After that, you will receive therapy, but you will get to decide, along with your partner and therapist, how frequent and how long each session will be. This allows for plenty of customization, depending on how much therapy you’ll need.
Then, you’ll have therapeutic interventions. These strive to improve three parts of your relationship:
The intervention also teaches you how to prevent a relapse in arguing. Other goals of the Gottman Method include:
If you are experiencing any issues in your marriage, it may be worth resolving them through the Gottman Method. With that said, who is this Gottman? Let’s find out more about him.
The Creator of The Method
The Gottman Method was created by psychologist John Gottman, who has spent his life studying relationships. Some of his accomplishments include creating studies that predict the divorce rate and analyzing the stability of marriage. He has contributed to the movement of relationship counseling, which is designed to help improve marriages everywhere.
His Studies on Divorce
Seeing all the divorces that happened between couples, Gottman decided to study what causes couples to divorce. He discovered that couples divorce for many reasons, yet you could boil them down to four undesired behaviors. These include:
With that said, what do positive couples exhibit? They exhibit:
Gottman studied newlyweds. In 2000, he interviewed 95 couples and asked many questions, such as history, beliefs about marriage, and general relationship questions. He looked at the answers’ positive and negative feelings and used them to determine whether or not the couples would divorce in five years. As it turns out, he was quite accurate with his predictions, with an accuracy of about 87 percent.
One method that we mentioned before uses to measure marriage’s effectiveness through the sound relationship house theory. Your relationship is your home, and a good home will be strong and sound.
The Sound Relationship House Theory
The Sound Relationship House Theory consists of nine principles that are signs of a good relationship. These are:
If your relationship has these principles, you live in a strong house. If you don’t, you should make changes to the house before a storm comes and knocks it down.
Can The Gottman Method Help Me?
If you have considered couple’s therapy, you may wonder if the Gottman Method is right for you. Some may even feel like their situation is too unique for therapy. However, Gottman believes that conflict is either resolvable or not, and those who have perpetual problems may benefit from the Gottman Method.
The Gottman Method has been built around any marital situation regardless of whether you’re rich, poor, same-sex, different cultures, different races, or so on.
Here are some reasons why you may want to consider the Gottman Method:
To summarize, the Gottman Method is effective for any situation, honestly. No matter your relationship issue, you may benefit from going to a therapist and applying the Gottman Method to you.
There is no shame when it comes to seeking therapy for your relationship. Many couples do not want to work their problems out, so the marriage or relationship fails. Don’t be that couple. If there’s a conflict and the two of you cannot resolve it, having a third party help cool your heads and be more empathetic towards each other is a good idea. Seek counseling today, and you can work to improve your relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How does the Gottman method work?
The Gottman Method is based on the sound relationship house theory, which Julie Gottman and John Gottman developed. John and Julie Gottman are researchers and clinical psychologists who developed the Gottman method as a couples counseling modality. According to the Gottman Institute website, John and Julie Gottman have been researching for over 40 years. When John and Julie Gottman created the sound relationship house theory, they included the following nine elements:
According to John and Julie Gottman, these nine elements are the components of a healthy relationship. Gottman method couples therapy, which Gottman conducts trained therapists, focuses on strengthening these nine elements during couples therapy alongside other Gottman Method components.
Is the Gottman method effective?
Research indicates that Gottman's method of couples therapy is indeed an effective form of couples therapy. On the Gottman Institute website, there is information listed for providers interested in learning more about the Gottman Institute, the Gottman method, and possibly becoming certified to conduct Gottman method couples therapy themselves.
What is the Gottman repair checklist?
The Gottman repair checklist is a checklist that couples can use to confirm the words or phrases they find helpful for reparation in various contexts. On the checklist, there are different sections, such as "I feel" and "sorry." Using these examples, the "I feel" section lists different ways to speak up about how you feel, and the "sorry" section lists different ways to communicate, "I'm sorry." The Gottman Institute and Gottman relationship therapy or counseling help couples communicate more effectively and help couples with healthy relationships such as affection, supporting one another, and trust.
What is the biggest predictor of divorce?
John and Julie Gottman have identified four predictors of divorce. According to the Gottman Institute, these predictors are contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling. The Gottman Institute or the Gottman method can help couples work through the four Horsemen to have a healthy, happy relationship moving forward. The Gottman Institute website has a number of different blog posts, including a blog post that details divorce predictors. There is a products page for people on the Gottman Institute website hoping to learn more about the Gottman method. You can buy products like the Gottman Relationship Coach on the products page using your Gottman Connect account. The Gottman Relationship Coach is a multimedia item, and you can purchase the Gottman relationship coach or other products by signing into Gottman Connect as a client. According to the website, if you do not have a Gottman Connect account, you will have to make a Gottman Connect account to buy the product. If you're searching for "checkup Gottman," "checkup Gottman relationship," "checkup Gottman couples," or "checkup Gottman professionals," you are likely looking for the Gottman relationship checkup, which is a research-based questionnaire accessible to both couples and professionals at https://checkup.gottman.com.
Learning about the Gottman Institute, The Gottman Method, and Julie and John Gottman's work can be incredibly beneficial for couples for several reasons. If you are looking for Gottman-trained therapists, there are a number of routes you can take. To start, you might search for "Gottman trained therapists," Gottman method couples therapy," or "Gottman referral network. "The Gottman referral network is found on a separate website from the Gottman Institute website. The Gottman referral network can help you find Gottman-trained therapists near you. To use the Gottman referral network website, all you have to do is put in your location and search for a provider. Additionally, on the Gottman referral network website, you can review information about different Gottman trained therapists so that you can find the one that's right for you. If you are a provider yourself, you can sign up on the Gottman referral network website. Professionals can also sign up for the Gottman pro newsletter. You can sign up for the Gottman pro newsletter on the Gottman method website. The Gottman pro newsletter is made specifically for professionals. When you sign up for the Gottman Pro newsletter, you will get information about opportunities and Gottman relationship therapy. Additionally, according to the Gottman Institute website, signing up for the Gottman pro newsletter Will provide you with information on training and news courses. Click here to sign up for the Gottman Pro newsletter.
If you're searching for "Gottman method our team," you are likely looking for the Gottman method on our team page on the Gottman Institute website. The Gottman method our team page or the Gottman method our team list provides information about The Gottman Institute team. Additionally, on the Gottman Institute our team page, many team members list their LinkedIn profiles and personal biographies. When you click on a person's biography on the Gottman Institute our team page, you will learn more about the unique individual and what they do. Click here to go to the Gottman Method our team page.
What year of marriage is divorce most common?
Many sources say that year seven of a marriage is the most common year for a couple to get a divorce. The good news is the couples counseling can help to prevent divorce. Gottman relationship therapy or Gottman method couples therapy is only one form of couples therapy you can try. In addition to Gottman relationship therapy or Gottman method couples therapy, counseling forms such as Emotionally Focused Therapy or EFT are proven to be beneficial for couples. John and Julie Gottman's work offers important insight into healthy relationships and can be advantageous for any couple hoping to improve their relationship. Whether you search for Gottman trained therapists and Gottman relationship therapy, a Gottman relationship coach, or dive into the work of Julie Gottman and John Gottman yourself, you're bound to take away valuable knowledge that you can use in your relationships.