Compliments For Men: What Your Husband Longs To Hear

Updated October 26, 2021

Medically Reviewed By: Lori Jones, LMHC

A lot of men tend to come across as very confident. In many instances, men are expected to be extroverted, sure of themselves, and straightforward, so they put forth that image whether or not they feel that way. For many, it becomes a façade that isn't based at all on the reality of their true feelings. Even the insecure ones on the inside put on an act of confidence when interacting with others, sometimes even with their wives. And this can lead a wife to forget that her husband still needs compliments and words of affirmation, thinking that the husband is completely secure and doesn't need reassurance. The truth is that there are some compliments for men that your husband is longing to hear. Even if your husband appears confident and secure (or truly is), it's still nice to hear a compliment from time to time, especially if it's from the person you're in love with. When it comes to complimenting, there should be no reason for holding back.

Compliment Their Work Ethic

Showing Appreciation Can Create Stronger Relationships
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Many men pride themselves on being hard workers for various reasons. Some want to be good financial providers for their families, while others love the career path and want to pursue as many opportunities as possible. Hard workers tend to spend a lot of time working long hours and may be away from home more; this is especially true of workaholics, which no one is immune from becoming.

If the amount of time your husband is spending working is making you upset, you're welcome to address it with them when the right time presents itself. However, this would also be an excellent opportunity to compliment them as well. Always start with the compliment first and then follow up with any concerns. For example, you could say something like, "I admire how much hard work you do, and it's inspiring to see how far you've already come in your career. I also really love you and spending time with you, so do you think we could think of a way to balance your work life and home life better? I want to see you more." The more you communicate, the better off you both will be.

Compliments That Show Your Life Is Better With Them In It

Your man desires to be a positive thing in your life. If your husband is exactly that, make sure they know it and don't leave them wondering. At the beginning of most relationships, it's simple to complement each other because it's the honeymoon stage. You both are learning new things about the other every day, so there's always something new to comment on that you like. When two people have been in a relationship for a long time, it can become easier and easier to forget to give compliments. Couples grow complacent, and resentment or hurt feelings can easily start to creep into the relationship. To counter this and to avoid taking your husband for granted, dish out compliments as they arise. When you notice them doing something you appreciate or love about them, say so. They'd love to hear how much you enjoy having them in your life. Everyone wants to know they're loved and appreciated.

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Compliment Their Character

Character compliments can mean a lot to your man because it's not complimenting him on something he is doing or accomplishing; it's who he is as a person. This could involve letting them know how much you appreciate their honesty, integrity, or sense of humor.

Think about the character traits that made you fall in love with them first and then offer compliments about them. You can also take some time to look at areas that have grown as a person since the two of you have been together and compliment them on those.

Compliment Their Appearance

Showing Appreciation Can Create Stronger Relationships
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The public eye gives a lot of attention to women and how they struggle with their self-esteem around their looks. You don't hear much about this on men's side, but that doesn't mean it isn't a struggle. An article on Healthline discusses that large campaigns are being run to help women with positive body image regardless of their size, but the same isn't true for men.

While women have to compare themselves to the unrealistic images of supermodels and Barbie, men are left trying to live up to the standards of superheroes and the actors that play them, professional athletes, and the like. It's an image that not many men can meet.

Maybe you can relate to struggles around body image. If so, you know how important it is to receive compliments about your physical appearance. Therefore, you should try to do the same for your husband. Whether it's a compliment about their smile, new outfit, haircut, improvements from a workout routine or diet they've been trying, or something else entirely, go ahead and lay it out there. No compliment is too small or too large, and each one will be appreciated. You're sure to make their day when they hear their favorite person has something positive to say about how they look.

Consistency Matters

If you want to help your man feel good and boost their self-esteem, then remember that consistency matters. It's not just about showering them with compliments for a day and then forgetting about it for the next few months. Aim to complement them once a day, or even more often if you remember to. It can be hard to get used to if you're not already doing it, but putting in the effort to make dishing out compliments a habit of yours will be worth it every time. You can set a reminder on your phone or make a little note until you automatically start to remember without needing those little nudges.

Be Authentic

The point of giving out compliments isn't just to put words into the air. The true intention behind being complimented regularly is making your husband feel good and speaking the truth. If you are saying things that aren't true, that you don't believe, or that aren't authentic, they will be able to pick up on it. You don't have to go over the top; you need to make sure you're truthful. The smallest comments go a long way, so don't feel pressured to come up with elaborate compliments. Let them know why they're appreciated and awesome. Anyone can compliment another person, but it'll be even more special coming from you—that means you don't need to strive or say things that your true self wouldn't say.

Surprise Them With Compliments

Look for creative ways that you can pass compliments along to your husband. Don't just say the same thing every time or always do it in the same way. Maybe sometimes you will give them a compliment in passing and other times you'll write a nice letter. You could surprise them with a quick text letting them know something you appreciate about them as those thoughts come up. Or you could put a little note on their car or in their briefcase.

Another great way to give your husband compliments is to make it public. Share with others what is so great about your man. It might make it back to your husband if you talk to people you both know, like family or shared friends. Or you can be direct about it and compliment them on social media so everyone can see. This will boost confidence as they see that you're so proud of them and aren't afraid to let everyone know.

Your Actions That Act As A Compliment

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Sometimes it's not so much what you say that compliments your man; it's what you do. For example, in the book Becoming the Woman of His Dreams, Sharon Jaynes shares responses from men about their idea of the perfect wife. One such response said, "A man wants a woman he can feel proud to have on his arm and who loves only him. I remember while we were courting that I told her on my arm was where I always wanted her, and that still holds today."

And another said, "The woman of my dreams takes pride in herself and works to maintain her health to be desirable and attractive while aging gracefully into maturity, not seeking youth, but wisdom, grace, and inner beauty."

Your husband married you because they love you as you are. Seeking to be true to yourself and genuine in all of your actions will make you someone your guy is happy to have by their side. When you prioritize showing love in all that you do, it is easier to receive love in return. While giving out compliments in words is important, so is showing them in your actions. Even doing small things to show your appreciation for your husband can go a long way.

What If You Can't Think Of Anything To Compliment Them About?

If your marriage is going through a rough time, you might struggle to find anything you can compliment your husband about. Note that the information in this article is not meant for women that are in abusive relationships. Abuse is not OK in any form, and it's certainly not something you can compliment yourself on. If you're in an abusive relationship, you need to get yourself into a safe location where you can get help to figure out your next steps.

If you are experiencing any abuse or violence at home, you can anonymously call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) for advice and assistance.

If you're going through a rough patch in your marriage, compliments might be able to help. If you and your husband haven't been getting along like you usually do, the odds are high that not many kind words or compliments have been exchanged lately. Something that can help is taking the initiative and making the first move by complimenting them on something. While this doesn't always fix everything, it can go a long way in changing the mood in your marriage. Compliments alone can't heal a broken or struggling marriage, but they can be a simple way to start. All this being said, whether your marriage is going strong or you think it has some room for improvement, complimenting your man can do a lot to help them feel good and boost their confidence.

If your marriage is struggling or you want to improve the connection between you and your husband, talking to a marriage counselor can help. At ReGain, licensed therapists are trained to help you through tough situations like improving your marriage. Speaking with a therapist regularly can be just what your marriage needs to move forward. At the very least, there's never any shame in giving it a try.


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