Sometimes in a marriage, it is easy to get caught up in the day-to-day duties of life and forget to appreciate one another. Life is busy, and it seems like you hardly have any time to give your spouse the appreciation that he or she really deserves. This is where compliments are such a useful tool in marriage. A compliment doesn’t cost anything, it does not take a whole lot of time to administer, and it can do wonders to boost your spouse’s self-confidence and satisfaction in your marriage. When you see the effect a good compliment has on your spouse, it will also make you feel better about yourself.
Compliments are so great for your marriage because they make for a more confident and contented spouse, and a confident and contented spouse will be a much more pleasant companion to be with. But while compliments generally produce a desirable outcome, that shouldn’t be the motivation for why you use them. They should be sincere and heartfelt and not just something you say to produce the desired effect.
You might think that complimenting your spouse is a very simple thing to do. You say something nice, and it makes your partner happy, right? Well, actually, no. Compliments can be a tricky thing. To have a positive effect on your spouse’s self-esteem, it has to line up with his or her core values. If your spouse does not see the value in what you are complimenting him or her about, it will fall flat. Something that you might perceive as a genuine compliment might feel lame or even insulting to your spouse. That being said, if you appreciate your spouse and you are wondering what you should say to express your appreciation for him or her properly, here are some universally good compliments that are sure to do the trick.
“You are so thoughtful.”
A little gratitude goes a long way in marriages, and it even can lead to a lower separation rate in couples. So, when your spouse does something kind for you without being asked, don’t let it go unnoticed. Even if it’s just something little, acknowledge the thoughtfulness he or she has shown you. Sometimes it can be easy to take for granted the many helpful little things your spouse does daily. Only the extravagant things get attention. But think about all the wonderful, non-glamorous things your spouse does for you all the time. It may be making you a cup of coffee, doing your laundry, filling the car up with gas so you don’t have to and cooking dinner. The list goes on. Let your spouse know how much you appreciate these things.
Telling your spouse how thoughtful they do requires a little humility because it stems from a true sense of gratitude. Gratitude is an acknowledgment that you are receiving something you don’t deserve. You know your spouse doesn’t have to do those thankless jobs for you, but he or she does them anyway because it makes your life easier. Often, the knowledge that he or she contributes to your happiness is the only reward your spouse receives for doing these things.
Acknowledging your spouse’s thoughtfulness is essentially a win-win situation, because number one, your spouse will be happy that you took the time to notice the things he or she does for you. Number two, your spouse will be much more inclined to keep doing those things for you if they know that it’s truly appreciated. Gratitude is a powerful and wonderful thing.
“You are such a hard worker.”
You and your spouse both work extremely hard. More than likely, the two of you spend most of the day outside the home at your separate jobs, and then you come home to tend to your separate household duties. This happens day in and day out. Building a life together can be exhausting. The daily grind gets to everyone from time to time, even your spouse, so show your spouse that you know how hard he or she is working for the good of your family.
Your spouse might feel guilty because they feel like the work they do takes so much out of them that there is not much leftover sometimes. When you compliment your spouse’s hard work, you are telling them it’s okay and that you admire them for working so hard to build your life together. It is also more than that. When you compliment your spouse as a hard worker, you are speaking to your spouse’s deeper character traits. Compliments on character are extremely meaningful. It tells your spouse that you not only appreciate what he or she does, but you appreciate who your spouse is as a person.
“You do so much for me, and I am very thankful for you.”
When you are married, you do things for each other without expecting anything in return. Love is your motivation to serve one another, not accolades. However, there are two words in the English language that are so powerful and that every human absolutely loves to hear, “Thank you.” The next time your spouse does something to lighten your load, like making dinner or doing the laundry, try saying, “You do so much for me, and I am very thankful for you.” Acknowledge that they do what you asked them to do, and you appreciate them accepting. Research has shown that when you express thankfulness to somebody for an act of service, it’s more likely that the person you thanked will want to offer help again in the future. All humans want to feel needed by someone. When you express your thankfulness for your spouse, you express your need for him or her, and you are fulfilling a deep human desire within your partner.
“You look great.”
In today’s world, there is a lot of body insecurities that exist. It is difficult for both men and women to feel good about themselves when Hollywood and social media only allow you to see the perfect, edited versions of a person. A person’s body image can influence how they perform in many areas of life. If your partner has a negative body image, it can negatively affect their confidence on the job, satisfaction in their relationships, and even their mental health. Telling your spouse, they look great will give them the peace of mind that you are satisfied with how they look. Your spouse will feel more secure in your relationship if they know that they’re attracted to you.
Often, when your spouse dresses or does their hair a certain way that you don’t like, it’s easy to jump to a critique right away. This can be disheartening to your spouse and make them feel bad about themselves. Instead, try always to compliment them when you think they really do look exceptionally nice. Chances are your spouse will want to dress like that again and do their hair like that more often because of the positive attention you are giving them. They want to look nice for you, and positive reinforcement generally works better than criticism in this area.
“I Respect You.”
Respect is the foundation of any marriage. All the things you can think of that constitute a great marriage find their root in respect. What does it take to have a great marriage? Love, loyalty, faithfulness, thoughtfulness, patience, consideration, empathy, compassion. Yes, it takes all of these, but these characteristics don’t just pop up out of nowhere. They are all rooted in respect.
“I respect you” is probably not a phrase that is spoken very often. This is probably because a lot of times, it’s something that is shown through actions. If someone truly respects you, you’ll know how they treat you, not necessarily by what they say. While actions definitely speak louder than words in this case, sometimes misunderstandings crop up, and your partner can misread something you do. It might’ve been a gesture, a facial expression, or the tone of your voice. Maybe you recently had a heated disagreement. Whatever it may be, somehow, you unintentionally made your spouse feel disrespected. This is why it is important to show respect to your spouse and vocalize it at times.
“You Are A Great Spouse.”
Your partner needs to hear that they are doing a good job at being a husband or wife to you. The phrase, “You are a great spouse,” might seem cheesy on the surface because it is such a basic thing to say, but it speaks volumes. It will be like music to your spouse’s ears. Why? Because it is what your spouse strives to be, day in and day out. Sure, they may fail at times because nobody’s perfect. But, ultimately, your spouse wants to be a great one.
Your spouse needs affirmation every once in a while. They need a reminder that even though things aren’t fairytale perfect, you still appreciate them and feel lucky to be married to them. You still believe they are a great spouse. The more you tell them this, the more your spouse will think like a great spouse. Reinforce positive affirmations in your spouse’s mind because people often become what they think they are. Do you want a great spouse? Help them think like a great spouse.
Good Compliments For Your Spouse
When you want to flatter your spouse and make them feel appreciated, try giving them one of the compliments above. They will greatly appreciate how caring you are, and your marriage will likely be much more satisfying. If for whatever reason, your spouse still does not feel appreciated in your marriage, couples counseling can be a great resource. A counselor will address how you and your spouse feel and help you use effective communication methods. You and your spouse deserve to feel appreciated by one another, and giving compliments should always be a top priority in your marriage.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What is the sweetest thing to say to your spouse?
The best compliments to give your spouse or the sweetest things to say to your spouse will often be specific to who they are as an individual. If you personalize the compliments you choose to give your spouse or partner, they will appreciate it, and it will make them feel good about themselves because they will know that you have them in mind and are speaking from the heart. Rather than just saying, “you’re incredible,” for example, you might tell them that you love hearing their point of view and that you appreciate how much they’ve taught you or that you admire their creative abilities.
What can I say to make my spouse feel loved?
Affection is an essential part of a relationship. Expressing appreciation and finding compliments to give your partner or spouse are excellent ways to make your partner or spouse feel loved. Notice the little things, and make sure that you let them know what you love about them verbally. Don’t just assume that they know, no matter how long you’ve been together. Let them know how amazing they look when the light hits their face, how you fall in love more every day, how their voice makes you happy, how you love their creativity, intellect, or attention to detail, or anything else that comes to mind. Actively thinking of things you love about your partner is a great way to emphasize, increase, or maintain affection in a partnership. Tell them what sets them apart from the rest, and remember that showing love through words doesn’t always look like compliments. It may also look like offering a hand by saying, “do you want me to help with that?” or, when they’re having a hard time, “how can I best support you?” Be there for your partner and show love through both words and actions.
How do I make my partner feel loved and appreciated?
There are several ways to make a partner feel loved and appreciated. One is to plan something special for them. This could be a date night or another event that you plan for them with who they are in mind. You might also get something done for them or let them know verbally. You can say something like, “You are the strongest, kindest, and the hardest working person I know,” and complete the statement with a kind gesture, which might mean anything from cooking a special meal to cleaning up the house to giving them a gift you know they want but haven’t gotten to buy for themselves yet. There are also several compliments to give your spouse to make them feel appreciated, including but not limited to the ones in the article above. You can start with the compliments to give your spouse listed here, or you can come up with unique compliments to give your spouse on your own.
How do you tell your partner they are amazing?
When you’re thinking of compliments to give your spouse and want to let them know how amazing they are, tell them the exact traits about them that you find amazing. An example of this would be, “the kindness you extend to others makes the world a better place” or “after all of these years, you still never fail to amaze me; your empathy, beauty, and intellect are unrivaled precious gems.” When you compliment your spouse or are thinking of how to complete compliments to give your spouse, you may end by letting them know that you don’t take them for granted.
What is the most romantic saying?
There are many popular romantic sayings out there. Some double as compliments to give your partner or spouse, where others talk about the nature of love and romance, offer inspiration or serve another purpose. Here are some popular romantic sayings to choose from:
“Every day I spend with you is the new best day of my life.” – Relient K
“I swear I couldn’t love you more than I do right now, and yet, I know I will tomorrow.” – Leo Christopher
“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” – Dr. Seuss
“One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.” – Sophocles
“If I know what love is, it is because of you.” – Hermann Hesse
Share these sayings alongside compliments to give your spouse, or send them along separately as a sweet way to show affection.
How do I make my spouse blush?
You can complement your spouse to make them blush, but there are other things you can do as well. You can ask a rhetorical question such as, “how did I get so lucky?” to make your spouse blush, or you can surprise them with a gift or an act of service that they appreciate. Either way, know that making an effort to show love and appreciation in a relationship is an excellent sign. If you want help with your romantic partnership or are struggling in any other area of life and need support or someone to talk to, don’t be afraid to ask for help from a mental health provider such as a counselor or a therapist.