The True Premarital Counseling Cost
Updated November 25, 2019
Reviewer Aaron Dutil
Receiving premarital counseling is not just for religious people. Couples who are engaged or planning to become engaged usually do not know what to expect in marriage. A lot of times, they incorrectly assume things will be the same as they were before marriage. Couples may also think that the financial cost of receiving premarital counseling makes it not worth it in their relationship. The true premarital counseling cost comes when couples do not receive premarital counseling. There are many conversations couples should have before going forward with their relationship into marriage, and having someone to guide you through this process can help tremendously.
Are You And Your Partner Prepared?
Imagine you are building a house for you and your partner. The two of you are planning to spend your lives together in this house. Forever is a long time, so you want this to be the best home it can be. While you are fantasizing about all the lavish furnishings and beautiful exterior, though, you rush through the building of the house's base. Before you know it, all you have worked for will collapse with the foundation.
A marriage is like a home for your heart. Everybody wants theirs to be cozy and secure. Many couples go wrong, though, when they rush through building their base. This is why it is so important to be prepared. Without strong support to rely on, couples might not be able to withstand the shocks that marriage often brings, and the whole thing can come crashing down. Premarital counseling serves to bolster the things on which a successful marriage is built. Things like communication, how to handle conflict, and respect are covered during counseling sessions. These may seem like common sense solutions, especially when you are early on in their love stage and have not hit any real bumps in the road.
You and your partner have likely focused many future conversations around large important topics like if you will have kids or not and where you should settle down. But skirting over other important questions is a mistake. For instance, have you and your partner discussed finances? Will your partner's career mean you will both have to move somewhere new, and are you both okay with this? Although some couples are afraid of having these conversations, it is much better to discuss them now than further down the road. There are many questions that couples have a difficult time answering by themselves. A premarital counselor can assist couples in these conversations as well as creating an environment where open discussion can occur.
Premarital Counseling Cost Down The Road
Following the previous analogy, when a faulty base causes a building to collapse, one must start from the ground up if they wish to rebuild it. Doing that is sure to take quite a bit of time and effort. But that, unfortunately, would not be the only issue at hand. How many of those materials are damaged now? If the crash has enough force, those materials may not be usable anymore.
They say that failure to prepare is preparation for failure. Premarital counseling can help mitigate the damage that future stressors may cause. It may also help couples establish plans for dealing with those stressors. If, however, couples choose not to take the initiative, those problems may arise spontaneously. It is always better to know how to handle a crisis than to have to improvise.
Couples worry about the cost of premarital counseling should consider the long-term effects of not receiving counseling early on. Couples who receive marital counseling too late in their marriage often stand a smaller chance of staying together. Other couples that receive marital counseling may be dealing with issues they should have brought up before they were married. While it is challenging to foresee issues you and your partner may face in the future, premarital counseling can reduce the financial and emotional costs in the long-term. Premarital counseling can teach you and your partner how to discuss issues in a healthy manner, which may mean you and your partner do not need counseling further down the road.
External Constraints In The Future
If you have time now, it should be used wisely. There are points in life where responsibilities drown a person's needs, and fatigue makes everything difficult. It is during these times that marriages will face the most stress. Ironically, those external factors will make seeking help difficult - you just won't have the time or energy.
Premarital counseling is effective at combating this dilemma. If it is sought out when both partners have enough time to focus, they will see several benefits. For one thing, they will have been prepared to deal with those hectic moments healthily and effectively. Premarital counseling allows couples to learn methods of conflict resolution before conflicts happening. They may also learn how to make the most of the time they do have together. These skills serve to keep a relationship strong in trying times.
On top of that, they will not have to diminish further their meager time allotment attending counseling if they already know what to do. After a long and stressful day of work, it would be nice to be able to relax instead of go to therapy. This will have both physical and mental health benefits for the individual.
Finally, as has been mentioned previously, couples will not have to break their banks. Emergencies are a guarantee in life - it is simply a matter of when they will occur. Financial stress is a widespread reason why couples end up unhappy. In moments of finance-related pressure, the last thing anyone wants to do is spend more money.
The chances of having to empty your wallet for couples counseling at inopportune times is lowered by seeking premarital therapy. Couples would not be required to spend what money they did have on counseling. Instead, they could spend it on vacation or improvements to their home. They may be able to spend it on fixing their financial woes themselves. In any case, couples will surely be happy that they sought advice prior, as they might not be able to enjoy the present had they not fully.
Problems Can Compound
It is very important to nip issues in the bud as soon as possible because those problems can quickly grow out of control. Time is one thing that stops for no one. As it continues, problems that were once negligible snowball into pet peeves and deal-breakers. Many couples do not address these problems before entering into marriage. This might be because they actively choose not to confront the issues, or because they simply are not aware of their existence, to begin with.
Premarital counseling allows couples to open up about these problems. A counselor's unbiased perception may lead to previously ignored problems being discovered. In either case, the presence of a mental health professional is sure to promote growth and security in the marriage. Discussing and discovering these issues earlier on will pay off later when couples are prepared to fix them.
Everyone Can Benefit
It is somewhat likely that some of you were reading this article are entering your first marriage. Others of you may have tried marriage before and are preparing to try once more. Regardless of your experience, premarital counseling offers a multitude of benefits for new couples.
Young men and women who are entering upon their first marriage are probably intimidated by the sheer size of the commitment they are making. The rest of your life is a very long time, indeed. On top of that, younger adults are not likely to have as much experience as their older counterparts. Seeking out counseling before marriage can be a game changer for people who do not know what to expect. Relationship counselors have seen it all, the good and the bad. They know, based on what they have seen, what can make or break a marriage. If you feel like you are walking in the dark, a premarital counselor will be more than happy to light the way and guide you.
People who have been married previously stand to benefit, too. Divorce is an unpleasant experience for all involved. It stands to reason that someone who has been through it would like to avoid having it happen again. Premarital counseling will yield sound advice for maintaining the new marriage. It may even provide answers as to why things went wrong in the last one. It is essential to realize the mistakes that have been made in the past and make every possible effort to keep them from repeating. No matter what, it cannot hurt to take precautionary measures.
Whether you are younger or older, previously married or not, every relationship is unique and is sure to present novel challenges. No two personalities are the same, and new partners still have a lot to learn about one another. Premarital counseling is a chance to do just that. Seeking counseling will give both partners new insights into one another and the dynamics of their relationship. These insights will be useful in moments of high stress and tension. Partners may think twice about what they do and say if they have a clear understanding of how it will affect their loved one.
Online Premarital Counseling
An easy way for couples to receive premarital counseling is with an online counselor. Couples have the flexibility to choose the time of their counseling sessions as well as choose from a wider variety of counselors. Receiving counseling from the comfort of your own home means cutting down on travel time and cost. Starting is easy, and a certified counselor can begin answering your questions right away. They can help ease any fears you and your partner have entering a new phase in your relationship. They can also help the two of you to learn more about one another as people.