Why You And Your Partner Might Need Pre Marital Education
Updated November 28, 2019
Reviewer Lauren Guilbeault
By the time a couple decides to get married, they have likely known each other for some time and have agreed to spend the rest of their lives together. The engagement may have been a surprise to one partner, or maybe it was a planned mutual decision. In either case, couples should know what to expect in marriage when they cross that bridge. Gaining premarital education is a good choice for any couple planning on getting married. A premarital counselor can help couples develop skills in their relationship to prepare them for marriage.
Having Important Conversations
If you're not familiar with premarital education or premarital counseling, it is natural to have questions and uncertainties. Thankfully, you have the opportunity to learn all about premarital education and how it can change life for both you and your future spouse. Premarital counseling can help both of you learn more about yourselves as an individual and your union as a couple. Furthermore, this manner of educations provides insight on marriage and allows you to get feedback on your partnership from a neutral, outside perspective.
Having Important Conversations
You and your partner likely have a strong relationship if you are deciding to get married. However, do you and your partner know what the other expects in a marriage? Have you had a conversation about finances yet? These types of discussions should happen between you and your partner. But with busy lives and a wedding to plan, some couples end up assuming the best without actually discussing with their partner.
There are likely issues both of you have not thought to ask each other at this stage in the relationship. Luckily, a premarital counselor can help you and your partner have these discussions in a setting dedicated solely to speaking with one another. If there is conflict on these issues, a counselor can help both partners communicate properly to ensure everyone is on the same page.
Revealing Unresolved Issues
Sometimes there are situations where engaged couples have issues which have not yet been addressed. This can occur for a series of reasons; one or both parties may feel uncomfortable with discussing the issue, or sometimes the issue may involve something which has recently taken place. Regardless, it goes without saying that couples should be in a good, solid place before officially tying the knot and getting married.
Thankfully, this is an area where a premarital counselor can be of value. Counselors who work in this field have worked with many couples and can recognize areas and subjects which need to be discussed; even couples are consciously aware of this at first. In cases where certain conversations are difficult or challenging to partake in, this is another area where the counselor can serve as a guide and provide meaningful insight.
Premarital Counseling Isn't Scary
Some couples worry that seeking premarital education and counseling means they are already failing in their relationship. However, this isn't true at all. A counselor is there to help couples navigate a new chapter in their relationship. This may mean having both partners take compatibility surveys or opening up a discussion to talk about important issues. A premarital counselor can also educate both partners on what to expect and where to seek help if issues arise.
Pre Marital Education Online
The Internet is full of useful advice on what couples should expect when getting married. However, some are exaggerated, and other channels of advice are wrong. When seeking premarital education, it is difficult to know where to look for advice and information. An online premarital counselor (someone who is trained to help couples navigate marriage) is often the best person to speak to when seeking advice. They can help you and your partner openly anonymously discuss issues. The can be accessed from anywhere you, and your partner has online access and can begin giving you both helpful information on marriage today.
Important Details to Remember Before Officially Tying the Knot
Feeling eager and ready to get married and tie the knot is an amazing feeling which all couples should get the change to enjoy and experience. However, before this happens, there are very important details and facts which both parties should be cognizant of. Having the proper awareness before entering a marriage can save so much heartache and stress later down the line.
A Solid Foundation Is Everything
Before you and your partner officially tie the knot and become spouses, it's important to understand that a solid foundation is everything. The foundation on which you enter into a marriage will largely impact the quality of your marriage. Ideally, this foundation should be comprised of love, trust, compassion, mutual respect, and shared outlooks. This doesn't mean that you and your partner will never have disagreements; however, at the end of the day, you both should ultimately be united. Entering into marriage with a solid, positive foundation is paramount for a successful marriage.
You Shouldn't Expect Your Partner To Change
As previously stated, when two people are preparing for marriage, it's always advisable for them both to be on the same page. However, there are cases where people believe that marriage will change their partner into something which they would prefer to see. This is a recipe for disaster and never ends well. When you marry someone, you are marrying all that they are. This means accepting them fully, flaws and all. Marriage should never be used as a tool to change someone.
Likewise, you should not be feeling pressure from your partner to change. If someone is serious about marrying you and committing themselves to you, then they should be loving and accepting of you. This does not mean marrying you to change you or mold you into what they believe you should be. Participating in premarital education can help both you and your partner ensure that you two are marrying each other for the proper reasons.
Proper Communication Is Paramount
The ability to communicate effectively with your future spouse makes all the difference in the world. Successful unions and partnerships are built on respectful and effective communication. You and your soon-to-be spouse should be able to talk about issues even when they're complicated or unpleasant. In many cases, this can determine whether or not your marriage withstands the test of time.
If you and your partner struggle to communicate with one another in certain cases, then this is certainly an area where a premarital counselor can be of value. Sometimes struggles to communicate with one another can serve as an indicator of some underlying problem or matter which needs to be addressed. The sooner this issue can be dealt with, the better off both you and your partner will be as you prepare to tie the knot!
Being Partners Should Trump All
When you enter into a marriage with someone, you agree to bind yourself to that person for as long as you both are alive. For that reason, it's paramount to ensure that you and your partner place your union above all. This doesn't mean that you can't have other friendships or be close to others. However, both parties should respect the wishes of one another and value how the other feels.
Fidelity is another central part of a partnership which matters and should be discussed before marriage. Hopefully, your significant other has been faithful throughout the relationship. If not, then this is an issue with both parties should discuss before proceeding into a marriage. In some cases, prior infidelity can be a dealbreaker, while other couples can forgive and move forward. You and your future spouse should also have an understanding of how each other views fidelity, partnership, and commitment when in a relationship.
In partnerships, compatibility is everything. Mutual interests shared outlooks on life, and the simultaneous ability to balance out one another when necessary is important. This may sound oxymoronic, but it's not. No two people will be exactly alike, but you and your future spouse should be compatible enough to live with one another, get along well, and genuinely enjoy each other's company.
Personality also plays a role in compatibility, for as strange as that may sound. There are power couples, laid back couples, and couples who complement one another. Different dynamics would for different partnerships; however, extremes are rarely good. Even in cases where you have two very successful, ambitious spouses, there still tends to be a degree of balance on certain levels. Balance ensures that both parties remain compatible with one another while ensuring the longevity of the relationship.
Marriage is a huge, life-changing decision. The person you choose to marry will greatly impact your quality of life, your friendships, your opportunities, how you deal with successes, and the manner which you handle losses. Due to the impact which marriage has on so many aspects of life, it's not a union which should be entered too lightly. This is why premarital education can be so valuable and significant. Even if you and your significant other both believe that you're on the same page, sitting down with a premarital counselor can provide valuable insight and information.
If you are interested in working with a counselor or therapist, rather individually or with another person in your life, then you're in luck. Here at Regain, we provide exceptional mental health services. Whether you're single, preparing for marriage, or dealing with an entirely different matter altogether, we are here for you. Life can be tough sometimes, and challenges can arise, but we don't have to go through these things alone. Having the right support system makes such a tremendous difference.
One of the greatest advantages of working with Regain is that we can be of service no matter where you are. Many people sometimes find that they are geographically limited in the professional services they can seek. With Regain, this is a non-issue.
You can get started with Regain at any time and from anywhere simply by clicking here. We look forward to getting to know you and being of service to you.