Domestic Violence Prevention: Methods And Resources

Updated October 20, 2024by Regain Editorial Team
Content warning: Please be advised, the below article might mention trauma-related topics that include domestic abuse which could be triggering to the reader. If you or someone you love is experiencing abuse, contact theDomestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7. Please also see our Get Help Now page for more immediate resources.

There may be nothing quite as difficult to deal with than being in a relationship where there is violence that happens, whether once or on a regular basis. It can be a challenge to figure out what to do. If you know someone in this situation, it can be equally challenging to know the best way to help.

Fifteen percent of all violent crimes happens between intimate partners. This information is based on intimate partner abuse statistics. Using domestic violence prevention techniques and resources, you can stay safe in your relationship or help someone you know or someone in your community do the same. Keep reading to learn more about how to prevent domestic violence and how to find help if you find yourself in a dangerous situation.

The impacts of domestic violence can affect you long-term

What is domestic violence?

Domestic violence is considered a serious health problem. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services recently opened a new division, the Office of Family Violence Prevention and Services, to combat the spread and adverse effects of domestic violence. It's violence that happens within the context of a close relationship, particularly with an intimate partner. If you don't learn how to identify intimate partner violence now, you could put yourself in danger of experiencing it without your knowledge. Once you can identify intimate partner violence, you can take appropriate violence prevention steps to ensure your safety.

Someone is considered your intimate partner if:

  • You're emotionally connected with them
  • You have regular contact with them
  • You have regular physical contact or sexual behavior with them
  • You consider yourselves a couple
  • You're familiar with each other's lives

Types of domestic violence

Domestic violence can range from mild to life-threatening. It can happen once or often over the course of years. There are four basic types of domestic or intimate partner violence.

  • Physical violence: Hurting someone through physical force, including hitting, kicking, slapping, punching, biting, choking, etc. Physical violence also includes forcing someone to do these acts to someone else.

  • Sexual violence: Sexual assault of any kind, including forced touching, penetration, or being made to feel unsafe during intimate activities.

  • Stalking: Unwanted attention that causes the victim fear and concern for their safety or the safety of someone else. For example, unwanted phone calls, spying, following from a distance, threatening a pet, etc.

  • Psychological aggression: Verbal or nonverbal aggression meant to mentally or emotionally harm or control someone.

Recognize red flags and signs of abuse

To prevent domestic violence, you need to stop it before it happens. The following signs of abuse may appear just before the domestic violence happens, or they may appear early in the relationship.

  • They intentionally embarrass you
  • They prevent you from working
  • They control all the financial decisions that affect you
  • They blame you for all the relationship problems
  • They maliciously damage your property
  • They're jealous of your friends
  • They don't like you spending time away from them
  • They threaten to hurt you, someone you love, or a pet if you don't do what they say
  • They emotionally push you into having sex when you don't want it
  • They intimidate you with physical displays of power and weapons

Learn healthy relationship skills

The best method for domestic violence prevention is to be in a healthy, positive relationship. Does that mean you have to leave your partner if you have relationship problems? Not necessarily. You can learn healthy relationship skills together and get your partnership on a healthy track. Better yet, you can learn healthy relationship skills from the beginning of the relationship.

Safe communication

For safe communication, both partners need to feel free to communicate openly and honestly. Communication includes both expressing yourself and actively listening to the other person. You need to be able to have important conversations face-to-face without being verbally or physically attacked.

You need to learn healthy ways of dealing with conflict. If you become angry, you can take a break before you tell your partner (this break can be hours or even days) or decide not to tell them at all, especially if you feel you're in danger by telling. If you talk to your partner when you're angry, you may need to take a short break, figure out the real problem, talk to them as calmly as you can, and listen to what they have to say. They need to do the same for you. You also must respect each other's opinions.

Trust

Trust is crucial in an intimate partner relationship. When you assume your partner is telling you their truth and they assume the same, you can avoid unnecessary hurt feelings.

Boundaries

Every relationship—even between intimate partners—needs to be built on mutual respect for healthy boundaries. Examples of healthy boundaries include:

  • You have the final say on any decisions concerning only you
  • Your partner includes you in financial decisions
  • You control your property
  • You are in control of your own actions
  • It's your decision whether to agree to sex
  • Your partner doesn't force you to become pregnant

The impacts of domestic violence can affect you long-term

Mutual respect

For an intimate relationship to work, each partner needs to respect the other. You respect each other's opinions and freedom to choose. You deal with sexual matters respectfully with each other, deciding together if you want to have sexual relations at any specific time. If someone doesn't consent to sex, the other partner respects their decision and honors it.

Build support systems

Everyone needs a support system. When you're in an unequal or unhealthy relationship, you need more support than ever. Reach out to family and friends to stay in touch and share what you're experiencing. Meet new people when you can. Be involved in community or volunteer projects where you can talk to people outside the relationship.

Support groups can sometimes help, too. When domestic violence support groups were first established, their focus was on people who had left abusive relationships. More recently, though, support groups have been started to help people who are still in such relationships. These groups tend to focus on safety planning, learning about abuse dynamics, and getting emotional support. They are also encouraged to learn more about the benefits of domestic violence counseling.

Practice tech safety

If you're in an unhealthy and potentially violent relationship, you need to know how your partner might monitor the way you use your smartphone, tablet, or computer. 

Open a new email account if you need to send and receive emails concerning current or potential abuse or plans to leave. Use that account only on a safe computer.

Use a pay-as-you-go cell phone to use when you don't want your partner to monitor your device use. Know that your car's GPS may be used to find your location.

Be careful with social media. Avoid posting anything personal, especially if it's something your partner can use to hurt you or find you after you leave. Ask your friends and family not to make social media posts that might reveal information about you. 

Know your rights

The legal system can help with domestic violence even before you decide to leave a potentially violent relationship. Find out the legal definitions regarding domestic violence where you are. Learn how you can get help and what options you'll have if you do leave.

Make a safety plan

Having a safety plan in place when you need it might save your life. Your safety plan is a practical plan tailored to you and your unique circumstances. Its purpose is to help you stay safe while in the relationship, when getting ready to leave it, and after you've left.

You can call or chat with the National Domestic Violence Hotline for help with creating your own individualized safety plan. They're known for understanding how to prevent domestic violence when possible and what to do in the event it happens. Here are some of the types of things you might include in a safety plan:

  • Identifying safe places to hide or go to in times of crisis
  • Learning about resources where you are
  • Knowing what legal help is available and where to get it
  • Teaching your children how to get help if needed
  • Making up a list of reasons you have to leave the house
  • Documenting red flag behaviors and domestic violence incidents
  • Preparing yourself for life away from your abuser by getting job skills or taking courses
  • Getting a restraining order
  • Having ID and other important papers ready
  • Calling 911 or a hotline when your life is in danger
  • Planning what you will do if your partner finds out about the plan

Know vital contact information

If you're in a dangerous situation, you'll probably need some help. Know the names and contact information of organizations that can help you, such as shelters and domestic violence hotlines, as well as the contact information of supportive friends. Memorize these numbers or keep them with you so you'll have them when you need them.

Find support from an online therapist

You can also get support and guidance in understanding domestic violence from a therapist. If you feel it's unsafe for you to go to a therapist's office physically, one option is to get online therapy from a licensed counselor at Regain. Your counselor can help you learn better relationship skills for domestic violence prevention or for new relationships after you've left an unsafe one. Regain offers therapy for both individuals and couples, so if you and your partner want to work on repairing your relationship together, that's an option

Online therapy can take place anywhere there's an internet connection, so you can get help from any safe location. An online therapist can support you as you make crucial decisions about whether, when, and how to leave. This type of help can be just as valuable as in-person help.

Takeaway

No one should ever have to be afraid of their intimate partner. If someone you're in a close relationship with shows any warning signs of domestic violence, don't hesitate to get help. Educating yourself about various types of domestic violence can help you to become more aware of your situation and guide you through handling it. Even if you aren't ready to leave, you need to prepare yourself for staying safe both when you're in the relationship and if you choose to leave it. Don't hesitate to seek support from others if you're experiencing challenges such as violence in your relationship.

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