Domestic violence counseling isn't a luxury for people who have been in an abusive and dangerous relationship. Whether you're in an abusive relationship, leaving it, or struggling to make it on your own, domestic violence counseling can be extremely beneficial.
Though domestic violence awareness has mostly been focused on heterosexual relationships, many LGBT people are victims of domestic violence - at equal or even higher rates than those in heterosexual relationships. Domestic violence awareness and LGBT relationships are not to be kept separate. Counseling is available for all victims of domestic violence and abuse, even if there is less awareness of the problem in society.
For domestic violence survivors, it is important to find counseling services to talk through the impact of the violence or abuse and regain confidence in themselves. Most domestic violence can be prevented or stopped, and becoming aware of it is the first step in the journey.
There are laws to protect people who experience violence, such as the Violence Against Women Act. Women are not the only victims, though - men can be victims too. It is also not the case that men are the only abusers. In any abusive relationship, the key is violence awareness.
Here are 23 benefits that make domestic violence counseling a true need vital to living through and recovering from abusive relationships.
Sometimes an intimate partner can show only the subtlest signs that they're moving toward violence. In counseling, you can learn to recognize the red flags. You can become more observant of your partner's behavior and learn to identify the warning signs in the way they treat you. You need to realize what is happening and that it is not acceptable – it is domestic violence awareness.
A safety plan is a comprehensive plan for staying safe in a potentially violent relationship. You work out what you'll do if danger is near and decide at what point you'll leave. You develop plans for getting away when you need to, including where you will go and who can help you. It's also a list of contact information you can use if that time ever comes. A domestic violence counselor can help you create such a safety plan.
Being in an abusive and violent relationship usually means you have to hide your feelings. If you are experiencing domestic violence and tell your partner how you feel, you might be in immediate danger. In counseling, you have a safe place to talk about all your feelings without fear of being judged or hurt because of them.
When you're in an abusive relationship, it is easy to doubt your feelings. You want to believe that your partner loves you and wants the best for you. Yet, you have strong feelings that something is not right. A domestic violence counselor acknowledges your pain, fear, and confusion as you express it, letting you know your feelings are real and valid.
It's common to think that your emotions are unreasonable when you're dealing with an abusive partner. You may believe that your emotions don't make sense. Yet, you're feeling the way you are for a reason. Your life has been impacted by violence. Your counselor can help you think about your feelings and learn to understand that they're a natural reaction to your situation.
Domestic violence victims often blame themselves for the abuser's actions. In fact, abusers create this impression to protect themselves and get what they want. One of the most beneficial aspects of therapy is that you can discover that the causes of the violence lie with the abuser themself.
Abusers are very good at teaching the people they abuse to feel bad about themselves. They encourage you to believe there's something so wrong with you that you deserve the abuse. Eventually, you pick up your partner's negative talk and start telling yourself the same things. Changing that self-talk isn't easy. Through counseling, though, you can learn to think of yourself in positive terms.
As you learn positive self-talk, you're already improving your self-esteem. Your counselor can help you feel better about yourself in other ways, too. Together, you can explore what makes you the amazing and valuable person you are, which can help you become stronger and more self-confident.
Gaslighting is a common technique that abusers use to make you doubt yourself. They tell you that you misheard them, that you are mistaken about their intentions, and perhaps even that you didn't see or hear what you thought you did.
Once they start making you question your sanity, it's very easy for them to control you. In therapy, you can learn to recognize the difference between being truly mistaken and being manipulated through gaslighting.
Manipulation can take many forms. As much as you may want your partner to do things for your benefit, the truth is that violent partners are more interested in what they want. What they want is to control you. They want to get whatever they want from you, whether that's adoration or something more practical like another paycheck. Through domestic violence counseling, you can learn to recognize the hallmarks of manipulation. Talk to a Licensed Relationship Counselor.
Every abusive relationship shows patterns in the abuse. A pattern of abuse is a series of events that happens over and over in the relationship. Your abuser might start out treating you well. Then, they begin to change the way they interact with you. They're emotionally abusive. They become physically violent, and then they beg for forgiveness. By examining such cycles that happen in your relationship, you can stay safer while seeing your abuser's actions for what they are.
Most abusers lay the responsibility for the abuse on the person they're abusing. Because you love them, you accept the responsibility no matter how harsh it seems. You'll learn how to sort out what the abuser is responsible for and what is your place to handle in therapy.
When you're ready to leave a violent or potentially violent relationship, you face both practical and emotional challenges. Not only do you have to remove yourself from the situation, but you also have to do it safely. You can talk over your ideas and get help developing a specific plan for leaving immediately. If you're not ready to go, you can work on a plan to get away and start a new life at some point in the future.
As a domestic violence survivor, you're so used to blaming yourself for everything. So, you may blame yourself for staying in the relationship longer than you should have. Yet, you stayed for a reason, and it wasn't to be abused. Understanding why you stayed can help you feel better about who you are and the choices you made. Once you understand why you stayed, you can begin to realize why the relationship is no longer acceptable for you.
Being in an abusive relationship can create many different mental health issues. If you've already lived through violent episodes, you may have PTSD. Depression can happen due to the negative self-talk and hopelessness of being in such a relationship. Anxiety often comes with the fear of living with a partner who can become violent at any moment.
Violent partners are very good at limiting their victims' outside support. If you're in an abusive relationship, you might feel all alone in the world. Your therapist offers support immediately when you begin therapy. They can also work with you to find ways to build a strong support system in your community.
As you move away from the violent relationship, you can benefit from learning why the abusive relationship didn't work. You can find out what a healthy relationship looks like and how to create one. Then, you can apply that knowledge to any new relationships you have.
It isn't easy to accept leaving a relationship in which you've invested your time, effort, and emotional resources. You may feel you still love your partner, despite the pain they've put you through. You may also worry about making it on your own. Yet, accepting that the relationship can't go on as it is may be your first step to freedom, peace, and emotional stability.
Many practical problems come up when you're getting out of a violent relationship. You'll have to find a place to live, even if you have limited financial resources. If you've been a stay-at-home parent, you'll have to enter the job force, maybe for the first time. If you have children, you'll need to make a home for them while helping them understand why you had to leave.
Not only will you need to solve problems, but your partner likely hasn't shown any respect for the solutions you've come up with in the past. They maintained control of the relationship and every important decision that went with it. Therapy gives you many opportunities to practice problem-solving skills.
When you're living in an abusive relationship, it's hard to parent the way you would choose otherwise. Even if you had good parenting skills before the abuse started, you probably need help regaining those skills. Also, once you leave, you'll be dealing with life as a single parent. You're in a unique position that requires you to make difficult decisions to protect your children. Getting help with parenting skills can make your life better in or out of the relationship.
You may not believe it now, but you have inner strength, or you wouldn't have survived this long. Through counseling, you can learn to appreciate your ability to survive despite being in one of the most difficult situations possible. When you understand that you've had strength all along, you can get in touch with it now to get you through the next phase of your life.
It's hard to think of the future when you're struggling to survive. Most domestic violence victims either concoct wild fantasies of success or fall into bleak hopelessness. With the help of a therapist, you can begin to chart a more realistic yet hopeful path for short-term and long-range goals for yourself.
You'll find your personal power in positive actions. Your counselor can help you learn to accept the power you have and use it to make your life and your children's lives better. You'll realize that you do have the power to change your life.
Why It Matters
It's important to get the help that you need. Why? One reason is that you've lived in a destructive relationship long enough to be damaged by it in some ways. Another is that your partner hasn't helped you gain the tools to think and act positively.
It's extremely difficult to get away from an abusive relationship with no support whatsoever. You're a valuable person, and you can have a life in which you can feel safe. Taking advantage of domestic violence services can give you what you need to move on and thrive in the future. For people impacted by violence, counseling can be the step required to prevent violence and promote self-confidence.
If you're wondering, "Is there domestic violence counseling near me," the answer is yes. There may be a community mental health clinic or a counseling center near you with therapists specializing in domestic violence counseling. You can also get help at a domestic violence shelter while you are there if you go. You can call the national domestic violence hotline who will be able to give you help over the phone and find a counseling center or counseling services near you.
Another option is to talk to a counselor at Regain.us. Licensed counselors are available for private online therapy through the Regain.us platform. We have counselors who specialize in domestic violence issues and can work with you on your schedule.
Getting out of an abusive relationship can seem impossible. Yet, you can do it with the right help. A better life is waiting for you. It will not be easy, but you can make it happen!
“Anet is very competent at her job. She is trustworthy, doesn't "take sides", asks great questions, is empathetic, and has helped my boyfriend and I in more than just our direct relationship issues… She is also familiar with addiction, that my bf was dealing with. My BF and I have grown significantly closer since we have had our sessions with Anet over the last few months. We understand each other's needs much more now, and as a result, we don't accidentally hurt each other like we used to do. I highly recommend choosing Anet as your counselor.”
“Working with Ralph was a great experience for me and my boyfriend. My boyfriend was apprehensive about any form of therapy, but Ralph’s approachable and non-judgmental demeanor made it easier for my boyfriend to be receptive to him. He cited a lot of techniques and had us learn and use them in our communication. What helped a lot was also the small attainable goals he helped us set that we actually achieved, which made us feel productive without feeling overwhelmed. He’s very flexible with his schedule and always checked in to see how we were doing. I would highly recommend him to any couple who could use some guidance.”
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How are domestic violence cases handled?
Domestic abuse is a sensitive topic to uncover, affecting many men and women around the world. Whether they suffer from physical violence or not, victims of domestic violence often feel afraid to reach out for help. They may feel afraid that they won’t get adequate guidance or make their situation worse.
Survivors of domestic violence that decide to seek out charges should protect their safety first. Many judges will order that all contact is cut between them and their accused abuser. Intimate partner violence is a very serious crime and is handled as such in the court system. The results can vary from a plaintiff being ordered to attend counseling sessions to jail time.
Domestic violence survivors should consider in-person or online counseling to help them fully embrace the healing process. Domestic abuse is a betrayal of trust, and it’s completely understandable if it takes you a while to move on from it. Taking care of yourself, seeking out support from loved ones, and finding a mental health counselor are all great ways to ensure you healthily process things.
How long do you go to jail for domestic violence in India?
In India, domestic abuse perpetrators can go to jail for up to three years. Tragically, according to domestic violence statistics, family violence is quite common in India. The impact of domestic violence on an individual, regardless of their location, is a challenging one.
What does a domestic violence worker do?
Domestic violence support workers offer guidance, counseling sessions, and protection for victims of domestic violence. If you don’t yet directly connect to a mental health counselor, you can call the national domestic violence hotline, especially if you feel unsafe. Intimate partner violence can be distressing and isolating, and you don’t have to go through it alone.
Once you are connected to a domestic violence support worker, they will give you detailed information on what you need to know to get out of the situation. Over time, with counseling sessions, and the right kind of advice, you can escape the situation that’s causing you harm.
What are the five types of intimate partner violence?
Though intimate partner violence may look different for every couple, there are five main ways it tends to take shape:
How do most domestic violence cases end?
Unfortunately, domestic violence statistics tell us that around 60% of domestic violence trials are dropped. Though family violence is very common, it can be complicated within the legal system. If you are a survivor of domestic violence, it’s important not to blame yourself regardless of whether or not your hearing goes the way you would like it to.
Healing with domestic violence support is totally possible and can help you reimagine the possibilities of your future. While you learn to process your family violence, treatment can be extremely beneficial. If you have other members of your family that have been affected by the abuse, you can seek treatment to heal together.
Can a domestic violence case be dropped?
Domestic violence statistics prove that, yes, domestic violence cases can be dropped. Though every person affected by domestic abuse should feel empowered to take their case to trial, it’s important to remember that not all cases are won in court. The best thing you can do is collect all of the evidence that you can and get needed support from family and friends. Your safety and healing process is the number one priority.
Your life after a domestic violence case, regardless of the outcome, may feel different. Keep approaching things day by day. Remember that there is happiness ahead of you.
What usually happens in a domestic violence case?
Many domestic violence cases never go to trial. Often, if there is enough evidence that harm was done against you, a plea bargain will be reached. If your domestic partner agrees, they may be charged with completing certain kinds of therapy or making some financial payment to you.
Going to trial is normally discouraged, as it can be a lengthy, draining, expensive process. It can also be extremely triggering for victims of domestic abuse to continue seeing their abuser. Speaking to a professional domestic support worker and an attorney specializing in these kinds of cases can help you decide the best course of action.
How long do domestic violence cases last?
Domestic violence cases can last up to two years, depending on how it develops. No matter what the outcome is, it’s important to seek support and guidance for you and your family. Remember that you are a valuable person and that though the healing process may be prolonged, it is possible.
Consider looking into online counseling, like Regain, for mental health treatment. Online therapy is a great way to get treatment from the comfort of your home as you adjust to life after domestic abuse.