Accepting When It’s Time To Move On From Your Relationship
Updated May 12, 2021
Medically Reviewed By: Nicole Gaines, LPC
Relationships require a lot of giving and take, and they require a great deal of work. Even the best of relationships are going to involve arguments and disagreements at times. That’s the sign that your relationship is being carried out by two real people with their own thoughts, feelings, needs, desires, and interests. But sometimes you come to realize that the arguments are happening more than anything else or that you and that other person don’t really have anything in common anymore. Then what do you do?
Is it Time to Move On?
Maybe you’ve asked yourself this question already, but you’re not really sure you have an answer waiting. Maybe you haven’t asked the question yet, but you find it hovering there in the back of your mind. Or maybe you’ve just started noticing some of the changes in your relationship, and you aren’t quite sure what they mean for you and your partner. No matter where in the process you find yourself, you’re likely still questioning just what’s happening and whether this is really the end for you and your partner.
You Don’t Feel the Same.
Maybe you don’t feel the same about your partner as you did when the relationship started. Now, that’s not an absolute cause for concern. Your relationship will grow and change over time, and you may find yourself feeling a little differently but still more than happy to stay in the relationship. That’s great. But if you don’t feel the same and the feelings aren’t changing for the better, it’s a sign that it may be time for you to move on and look for something different for your future.
Your Partner Is Giving Off Mixed Signals
You might be getting misleading signals or mixed signals or even just plain strange signals from your partner that are telling you they may not be as invested in this relationship as they used to be. Or maybe they’re not as invested in this relationship as you are.
You’re Living Off the Past
If you feel like most of your relationship is built on the past, and all you’re thinking about and planning about is the past, you’re not actually building a future with this other person. You’re not setting yourself up for success within the relationship if you’re only really thinking about the past.
The Relationship Hurts
Your relationship shouldn’t be hurting you. Sure, you’re going to have moments where you feel hurt. But overwhelmingly, thinking about your relationship and being in your relationship should make you happy. If that’s not the case, it means that things aren’t going well.
Someone Has to Change
If you feel like they should change or they feel like you should change, that’s a sign that the relationship isn’t going actually to be good for either of you. If you’re not happy with the other person the way they are, neither of you will be happy in the long run. Even if one of you did change, most likely, it wouldn’t help the relationship last over the long term.
Everything Needs to be Justified
If your partner is continuously doing things that don’t show they care or that seem to be deliberately hurtful to you, then it’s a sign they don’t actually care. If you find yourself justifying their actions or trying to make excuses, you should run. If they aren’t able to take responsibility for their own actions, it’s definitely not going to bode well for the relationship.
They’re Causing You Pain
If your partner is hurting you emotionally, physically, or mentally, you must look for help and a way to get out of the situation. You deserve to be healthy and happy, and that’s not going to happen if your partner is hurting you in any way. You do not deserve to be in an abusive relationship, no matter what type of abuse you’re experiencing. Instead, you should be looking for a way to get out as safely as possible.
When They’re Not Trying
If your partner isn’t even trying to make the relationship work, then chances are they don’t really care about keeping it. They’re just letting you take on all of the hard stuff, and they’re coasting along and reaping all of the benefits they can from the relationship. A relationship is about giving and take, which means that you and your partner should both be working at making things work.
They Don’t Try to Fix the Problems.
If you’ve had a problem multiple times and you keep telling them about it, but they don’t actually try to fix anything, it means that they likely don’t care to fix it. They don’t care to make things easier for you or improve the relationship.
They’re Holding You Back From Your Potential
If you want to be better or want something more in your life, but they’re constantly holding you back either by telling you that you can’t or forcing you to stay the same, they’re not interested in growing the relationship.
You Don’t Have the Same Fundamentals.
You and your partner can disagree on some things and still have a healthy and happy relationship. Some things are just so foundational to your being that you can’t compromise or be with someone who feels differently.
You’re Hoping Things Will Change
Change is possible in a relationship if both you and your partner are willing to make it happen, but if you’re not both working toward change, it’s definitely not a possibility. So don’t stick around, hoping something is going to happen out of nowhere.
Accepting That You Need to Move On
Before you decide to talk with your partner about the situation, you must come to terms with it yourself. Sit down and think about all of the good and all of the not-so-good about your relationship. What of the above qualifications does your relationship fall into? What are the signs that you and your partner really do need to call it quits and go your separate ways? If you see many signs, then, by all means, tell your partner that it may be time to end things.
If you do not see a lot of signs or you’re still not sure that all is lost, take a little time to talk with your partner. Find out more about their thoughts and opinions on some of the problems that you see. It’s possible that they didn’t see the problems, but they are willing to make some changes once you point it out. If that’s the case, then it may be time for the two of you to start talking about what those changes will be and how you’re going to improve.
For those who can’t make the changes with their partner, moving on can be difficult to accomplish. After all, you have to make sure that you’re expressing yourself to your partner, if at all possible. If you can’t talk with them about the situation because it will put you in danger, then reach out to a loved one or friend who will help you get away from the situation safely. You may also want to reach out to the authorities to make sure that you and your entire family will be safe and better prepared in case of anything.
Going through the process of recognizing the truth about your relationship is complicated. Realizing that things are never going to be the same as they once were is difficult. Even if you’ve been unhappy in the relationship for a long time, it can be hard actually to walk away. That’s why it’s a good idea to have someone you can talk to in the process. Have a friend that you can discuss things with and who will help you come to terms with the truth about your relationship and why it’s a good idea to walk away.
You may also want to reach out to a mental health professional who can help you see what’s really going on in your relationship and what you deserve moving forward. Working with a mental health professional will help you become a stronger and happier person on your own, which means you’re going to have a much better chance of a successful relationship in the future. You need to make sure you find the right professional to help you.
Working with ReGain
ReGain is an online mental health service that will connect you with mental health professionals from all over the country. The mental health professionals here can help you recognize any mental health conditions you might be experiencing and what you should be doing to improve your life situation. Whether you’re looking for a way to get out of a toxic relationship or someone to help you become a better person overall, ReGain can help.
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