Accepting When It’s Time To Move On From Your Relationship
Is it time to move on? Maybe you’ve asked yourself this question already, but you’re not really sure you have an answer—or you have an answer, and that answer frightens you. Or maybe you’ve just started noticing some negative changes in your relationship, and you aren’t quite sure what they mean for you and your partner. No matter where in the process you find yourself, you may be questioning just what’s happening and whether this is really signaling the end for you and your partner. In this article, we’ll explore several possible dynamics to consider that could indicate that it might be time to move on.
Is It Time to Move On?
Ending a relationship can be very difficult, but sometimes, it is for the best. While every relationship is unique, below are some dynamics to consider that may indicate that it could be time to move on. If you’re trying to assess your own relationship, consider some of the following signs:
You Don’t Feel The Same Way You Once Did
Maybe you don’t feel the same about your partner as you did when the relationship started. Now, that’s not an absolute cause for concern. Your relationship will likely grow and change over time, and you may find yourself feeling a little differently but still more than happy to stay in the relationship. But if you don’t feel the same and the feelings aren’t changing for the better, it can be a sign that it may be time for you to move on from the relationship to preserve the mental health of both your partner and yourself.
Your Partner Is Giving Off Mixed Signals
You might be getting misleading signals or mixed signals from your partner. These mixed signals could indicate that they are telling you they may not be as invested in this relationship as they used to be or as invested as you are. Mixed signals can also occur when someone is going through a hardship, however, or experiencing a change in their lives or their mental health. In conjunction with other signs, this may indicate that it may be time to move on, but it is usually not enough to suggest leaving is the best option on its own.
You’re Living Off The Past
If you feel like most of your relationship is built on the past, and the good times of the past are the main thing keeping you together, you may not be building a meaningful present or future with this other person. It can be nice to reminisce about the past sometimes, but if you’re holding onto the better times of the past because the present isn’t as enjoyable, it may not make sense to continue on.
4. The Relationship Isn’t Adding To Your Life
In general, a healthy relationship should bring you joy and add to your life in an overall positive way. You may have moments where you feel sad or hurt, such as arguments or frustrations or miscommunications. But overwhelmingly, thinking about your relationship and being in your relationship should make you happy. If that’s not the case, it may be time to assess if the relationship should end.
5. Someone Has To Change
If you feel like they need to change or they feel like you need to change in order for you to be together, that can be a sign that the relationship may not be a healthy space for either of you. If you’re not happy with the other person the way they are, or your partner is not satisfied with you the way that you are, it could lead to a buildup of resentment and anger between both of you. If one or both of you believes that the other has to make substantial changes in order for the relationship to work, this may be a warning sign that the relationship has reached its end.
6. They’re Causing You Pain
If your partner is hurting you emotionally, physically, or mentally, this is a serious sign of an unhealthy relationship. You deserve to be safe and happy and in a relationship in which you feel comfortable and valued. If you are being hurt in your relationship, know that help is available.
If you are experiencing or witnessing abuse of any kind, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available to help you with information and resources. Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or Text "START" to 88788. You can also use the NDVH online chat system.
7. They’re Not Trying (Or You Aren’t)
If your partner isn’t trying to make the relationship work, they may not be interested in pursuing the relationship further. A relationship is often about give and take, which means that you and your partner are both working at making your relationship a strong and healthy partnership. If one or both of you seems to have given up, that can be an indication that it is time to move on.
8. They Consistently Refuse To Address Relationship Concerns
If one or both parties in a relationship refuses to address relationship concerns that have been brought up by their partner, it can indicate that the relationship may no longer be working. Being able to address conflicts when they arise can be a key piece of a strong relationship. If someone has something they are concerned about and the other refuses to consider or address that concern, the relationship may not be a priority and it may be time to move on.
9. They’re Holding You Back From Your Potential
If you want to be better or want something more in your life, but they’re constantly holding you back either by telling you that you can’t or forcing you to stay the same, they may not be interested in growing the relationship, or may be exhibiting problematic, controlling tendencies. If you feel like you can’t be your best self in your relationship, it may be time to consider ending it.
10. You Don’t Have The Same Fundamental Beliefs Or Values
You and your partner can disagree on some things and still have a healthy and happy relationship. But some things are just so foundational to your being that you can’t compromise or be with someone who feels differently. If you and your partner disagree on numerous fundamental values, it may be time to close the door.
11. You’re Just Hoping Things Will Change
Change is possible in a relationship if both you and your partner are willing to make it happen, but if you’re not both working toward change, it’s unlikely the relationship will progress. If the main thing tethering you to the relationship is a vague hope that maybe things will get better someday, it may be worth considering if this hope is based on something real, or if it may be time to end things.
How Therapy Can Help
Going through the process of evaluating and accepting the state of your relationship can be very difficult. Even if you’ve been unhappy in the relationship for a long time, it can be hard to actually walk away.
If you would like additional support with this process, a therapist can help. Working with a mental health professional can help you manage your relationship concerns and become a stronger and happier person on your own, which can help prepare you for a successful relationship in the future.
Deciding to end a relationship can be very painful and can take a lot out of you. This process can sometimes make you feel drained and exhausted, and the thought of seeking help in person may feel daunting. With online therapy, you can meet with a therapist wherever you have internet, including the convenience of home.
Plus, research has found online therapy to be effective for a wide range of concerns, including a variety of psychiatric disorders, so it can be a good option for many different situations and challenges.
Ending a relationship can be very difficult, but sometimes, it can be the best path forward. If you’re trying to determine if it might be time to end your current relationship, you can consider some of the dynamics detailed above. For additional support with relationships and other concerns, online therapy can help.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you know it's time to move on?
Why should we give ourselves time for moving on?
What are some effective tips for moving on effectively?
What are the steps for moving forward after a breakup?
How do you move on healthily?
Why does moving on create positive change?
What are new activities you can do to be able to move on effectively?
How do mindfulness techniques help someone to move on?
Can happiness be possible after a heartbreak?
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