Seven Things Divorced Women Can Do To Move Past Their Marriage In A Healthy Way

Updated March 21, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Being recently divorced can be difficult to come to terms with. It can be a big adjustment, and you may experience a variety of intense emotions. You might even still feel like you’re married in some ways, and this can make it difficult to move on with your love life. If you’re having trouble getting over your ex-spouse and moving on from divorce, this is understandable, but there are steps you can take to help you move forward. Here, we’ll explore seven approaches you can try to help you move past your marriage in a healthy way.

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Seven things to try

  1. Give yourself time to heal 

Healing from a divorce can take time, even if you know that you wanted the divorce and know that you don’t want to be with your former spouse. This person was a significant part of your life, and regardless of the circumstances, that can take time to get over.  

You might be very used to spending most of your time around your ex-spouse, and you might mourn the end of the relationship and the loss of the future you may have envisioned together. Try to be patient with yourself and give yourself a bit of time so that you can process everything that has happened.

  1. Put away constant reminders

It can also be difficult to have things around your house that constantly remind you of your ex-spouse. If you see their clothes in the closet, photos of you two on the wall, or souvenirs from trips together around the house, that may bring up strong memories that you’d prefer not to relive. Seeing all these reminders of your ex can make it difficult to focus on the present and all that lies ahead. 

You can decide what works best for you; you may want to get rid of these items altogether, or you may wish to store them away so that they are out of sight. There may also be some reminders that you’d like to keep around, and that’s alright, too. It just may be helpful to consider how seeing these items affects you and what set up works best for your healing.  

  1. Learn to love your independence

A divorce can be a big adjustment, but you may find that some of the changes feel very positive for you. Being married is a big commitment, and when you get divorced, you may discover a new appreciation for your independence. 

This new level of independence can be very liberating. You may be able to spend more time with friends, and you can focus on pursuits that you may have abandoned in the past to focus on your marriage. You can try getting to know yourself better, investing in yourself, and doing things that you enjoy. If there were things that you felt you couldn’t do or didn’t have time for while married, this can be a great time to try them. 

  1. Get active

As you try to move on after divorce, it may also be helpful to pour your energy into something physical. Exercise has a wide range of mental and physical health benefits, including improving mood, boosting energy, promoting better sleep, and decreasing the risk of a range of health problems. It may also help you to feel more confident.

You can try to get into a new exercise routine, and then do your best to stick to it. Some may decide to sign up for yoga classes, and others take up jogging. You can pick an exercise style that will be fun for you while still giving you a good workout. 

Getty/Luis Alvarez

  1. Try a new hobby

Hobbies can be really satisfying, and they can help you to use your energy in a positive way. Much like exercising, hobbies can give you something enjoyable that you can spend time on. There are many different types of hobbies, and you might even find that you’ll become very passionate about the one you choose. Whether you choose to learn how to make jewelry or if you want to learn a martial art, it can be fun to have a hobby.

Some hobbies can also be social, which can allow you to get out more and meet new people. Consider hobbies that might interest you, and you can feel free to experiment until you find something you really like. 

  1. Spend more time with friends

Many people end up losing touch with old friends after getting married, or at least spending much less time with them than they used to. This may be especially true if you were stuck in a bad marriage. Reconnecting with old friends can help you to find yourself again and feel loved and supported. 

While it may be tempting to withdraw or spend time alone when going through a hard time, research shows the incredible importance of friendship. So, as you are trying to move forward from a divorce, try to cultivate strong connections with new and old friends—it can have many benefits. 

  1. Try dating again when you’re ready

Finding a new romantic partner is not something you have to do, but it can be nice if you are interested and ready to try to find a new romantic connection. There is no set timeline for when to start dating again after divorce, so you can determine what feels right to you. But, whenever you’re ready, you may find that putting yourself out there, meeting new people, and forming new connections allows you to focus on your present and future, rather than dwelling on your past. 

Divorced dating isn’t always easy, but you can take things at the pace that works for you. You may decide that you’d like to date casually and take it slow before jumping into something serious, or you may meet someone you feel strongly about very quickly. It may also be helpful to reflect on what you are looking for, pulling in lessons learned from your past relationship. 

Getty/Vadym Pastukh

Online therapy can help 

In addition to these seven approaches, online therapy can also be helpful when you’re moving on from divorce. You might want some support as you process your emotions or cope with the unique challenges and concerns that a big life change like divorce can often bring. Research shows online therapy to be an effective option for a range of concerns, including self-esteem and empowerment.

As you cope with the emotions of a recent divorce, there may be times when you feel sad, frustrated, exhausted, or overwhelmed, and the prospect of traveling to an appointment can feel daunting. With online therapy, you can meet with your therapist wherever you have internet, including the comfort of your own home. 

Takeaway

Moving on after divorce can be challenging, but there are things you can try to help you navigate through this process. For instance, it may help to give yourself time to heal, get active, try a new hobby, and spend more time with friends. For additional support, you can connect with a licensed therapist online for help. 

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