Loving A Gamer: What To Know About Dating Guys Who Play Games

Updated March 16, 2023by Regain Editorial Team

If you just started dating a new guy and you like him a lot, then you're probably over the moon. It feels great to meet someone nice, and you like being able to look forward to all the possibilities that the future holds. You might be a bit worried about what to expect from your new boyfriend if you find out that he plays video games. Truthfully, loving a gamer is not any different than loving any other man. Consider the information below to learn what you need to know about dating guys who play video games.

Playing Video Games Is A Normal Hobby

How Do You Know If Your Boyfriend’s Gaming Is Over The Top?

Playing video games is a normal hobby, and it even has certain cognitive benefits. Some people don't realize just how common it is for people to play video games. In modern times, millions of people play video games as a way to unwind after work. This isn't something that only guys do either. Many female gamers are equally as passionate about the hobby.

There are many distinct types of video games out there. Like there are many different movie genres, there are also many video game genres. Your boyfriend might be interested in playing online multiplayer games such as Overwatch or Fortnite. It is also possible that the special man in your life might be more interested in story-driven, role-playing games (RPGs) such as Persona 5, the Yakuza series, or the Witcher games. People play games for varied reasons, but it is mostly about having fun while enjoying getting immersed in a fictional world.

Video games have evolved a lot since the Atari 2600 and the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES). They have a very broad appeal, and you might be surprised to learn that you might be a gamer, too. If you have Candy Crush or Wordle on your smartphone, or some other simple video game that you use to pass the time, then that is the same thing. Some people play expansive games with impressive graphics and huge stories, while others play simple games with addictive gameplay elements.

Dating guys who play games isn’t unusual at all. Your guy might like getting together with his friends to play some Halo on Saturdays, but that doesn't mean that he won't be an attentive or loving boyfriend. In fact, many gamers are very emotionally intelligent, and you might find that he will be a great partner for you. Of course, some people play games a bit too much as well.

Some People Do Play Video Games Obsessively

There is also such a thing as . Some people play video games so much that it is detrimental to their health. When someone is addicted to video games, they might decide to play them all the time instead of focusing on other things that matter in life. This is unfortunate, and these extreme cases often cause the worries that you might be having about dating a man who healthily plays games.

If you're wondering whether your boyfriend has a video game addiction, then you need to think about whether role playing games are getting in the way of his responsibilities. Does he miss work due to a new game coming out? If so, that's not necessarily a great sign. If he also ignores you while playing games and seems to care about them more than you, you might have some valid concerns.

This kind of behavior isn't an issue that is unique to video games, though. There are many people out there who get addicted to different things. Some people get addicted to alcohol or drugs. Others might wind up navigating a gambling addiction. All types of addiction are, by nature, ill-suited for the person who is addicted. If your boyfriend is living with a video game addiction, it could be worth getting him some outside help.

Just keep in mind that cases like this are extreme and that your boyfriend is not likely addicted to gaming. He might play quite a bit, but that does not necessarily constitute an addiction. If you binge-watch a new show on Netflix, that doesn't mean that you have a problem. You are just having fun. Try to look at things from an open mind, but do be aware that some people can become addicted to gaming.

Playing Video Games Together Could Be Fun

Taking an interest in your boyfriend's hobby could be a good way to bond with him. One of the best things about video games is that it is a social hobby. You can play video games with each other to have a good time. If this doesn't interest you, then it isn't something that you must do to have a good relationship with a gamer. It's simply something to consider if you think that it looks fun, and it could help you relieve stress.

There are many video games that you can play cooperatively (co-op) with your boyfriend — many couples like finding games that you can play together right on the same couch. You could decide to play a new co-op game such as River City Girls, or you might be more interested in playing some Super Mario games together. There are so many different types of games out there that it shouldn't be too hard to find one that would be fun to play with him sometimes.

These are people who like to buy games and video game-related memorabilia. Regardless, this is something that many people enjoy doing.

If someone loves The Legend of Zelda, they might have many Zelda merchandise just because they like expressing how much the game means to them. It isn't any more unusual than someone having posters or vinyl records of their favorite band. This is just something to be aware of in case your relationship progresses to the next level.

If you decide to move in together, then you might have to find a spot for all his video game paraphernalia and memorabilia. It's fine not to want his video game equipment in the living room, but it'd be nice to give him a spot where he can keep it. 

Just Make Sure Video Games Don't Take Up All of His Time

How Do You Know If Your Boyfriend’s Gaming Is Over The Top?

You want to make sure that video games don't take up all of your time. One problem that video games can cause in your relationship is that they may detract from your time together. Your boyfriend should be able to play his games and have fun in other capacities, as well. It's important to have hobbies, and you don't need to spend every waking moment together. That being said, it is not good for him not to put effort into the relationship due to wanting to focus on playing games.

Most people are going to be good at juggling their video game interests with their social relationships and other priorities. He might get interested in a game from time to time, but that doesn't mean he needs to ignore you. Just think about how you might feel when you're enthralled with reading a new book. Reading a good suspenseful novel keeps you turning those pages, and video games can be the same way. Some people want to see the end of the story, so try to understand his desire to play or reach new levels of achievement.

You don't have to like games to love a gamer. You do have to accept, however that your partner enjoys playing them. Loving someone is about accepting them for who they are. Gamers often identify with games in a very personal way. The stories told in these games resonate with people, and they can wind up holding significant meaning in one’s mind. As long as you love him and he can be a good boyfriend to you, then his video game-related behaviors shouldn’t be an issue. You might even find out that you'll enjoy playing casually if you give it a chance.

Don't Hesitate To Contact An Online Couples Counselor

You shouldn't hesitate to make use of online couples counseling if you need a bit of help. If your relationship isn't progressing how you want it to, you might need some assistance to work on certain issues. You can attend couples counseling to work on problems that are holding you back as a couple. This will allow you to make breakthroughs so that you can build the strong bond that you desire.

Online couples counseling is decidedly easy to take advantage of, too. It's very discreet, and you'll be able to receive counseling from the comfort of home (as long as you have a secure internet connect). You can attend counseling sessions as a couple, or you can speak to a therapist individually. Whatever your needs are, you should know that you can be helped by using online counseling. It's possible to turn things around with the right help, so consider taking the time to contact an online therapist.

In a scenario where your boyfriend does have an addiction to video games, he can seek support through Regain for that unhealthy dynamic. A recent online intervention for adolescents diagnosed with internet gaming disorder consisted of six modules and was successful in reducing online video game addiction symptoms. Another study tested a cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)-based intervention for excessive gaming, resulting in reduced symptoms of addiction and improved mental health and wellbeing for the study’s adult participants.


If you have grown frustrated by your boyfriend’s video game-related behaviors, or you don’t know how to feel when dating a gamer for the first time, it is worth considering your own assumptions on the topic. Do you have negative feelings toward your boyfriend because you’re unfamiliar with the world of video gaming? Do you feel like your boyfriend uses video games to escape life’s problems, or do they possibly help him find the courage to take on challenges in life? Talking openly and nonjudgmentally with your boyfriend is always a good first step, and if you feel like taking things further would help, know that you can reach out to a licensed therapist on Regain for support.

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