Dating Apps & Dating Sites Advice: What To Look For And What To Avoid
Finding love—whether you’re looking for someone to keep you company or spend your life with—can be a challenging prospect. Many people have turned to online dating sites to help them make connections. Read on to explore the pros and cons of virtual dating apps and how therapy can help you build solid, healthy relationships.
Why are dating sites and apps so popular
You may find life too busy to go out and meet people, and online dating lets you get to know someone before committing the time and effort to meet in person. Digital dating apps and websites make connecting with other single people in the area simple.
“In the last decade, the popularization of the Internet and the use of the smartphone and the emergence of real-time location-based dating apps (e.g., Tinder, Grindr) have transformed traditional pathways of socialization and promoted new ways of meeting and relating to potential romantic and/or sexual partners.” — Study on dating apps and their impact, National Library of Medicine
Benefits and drawbacks of meeting people online
Benefits
- It’s easy to meet a large selection of people.
- You have control over who you talk to.
- There are options to filter your dating pool.
- You can speak to multiple people to see if there’s enough interest to meet in person.
- With millions of people using online dating as their preferred method to meet people, you’re sure to find someone you like.
Drawbacks
- Without tone, expression, and contextual clues, misunderstandings can happen.
- Catfishing and scammers are constant concerns.
- Online harassment is an unfortunate possibility.
- Fees can get expensive if you use multiple paid apps.
- Making a suitable match can take a lot of time and effort.
What makes a dating site or app good?
With so many options for online dating, how do you choose the best site or app? For better or worse, online dating has changed the romantic landscape and how people connect. Explore the factors that could make one dating site or app a better fit for you than others.
Trial period
If you’re interested in trying a new dating site, look for one that offers a free trial period to get an idea of how things work and the types of matches you're likely to make if you try the paid service.
Similar values
Several dating services target specific groups of single people, like those who prefer someone with the same religious values, people specifically looking for a serious relationship, and those seeking a temporary, casual connection.
Paid service or free-to-use
While free trials are nice, you will eventually encounter the decision to continue with free-to-use services or try a paid dating site. Many people report satisfaction with the free options, while others believe paid services provide a higher quality experience.
Optimize your profile in online dating apps
Here's how you can improve your profile and attract a potential date.
- Show emotional availability by indicating you’re open to meeting someone and forming a connection.
- Don’t lie about who you are or what you’re looking for; honesty will serve you far better.
- Focus on your character traits and hobbies.
- If you’re looking for love, say so.
- Choose your username wisely.
- Use a profile photo featuring you smiling with your head slightly tilted. Studies show that those qualities can make an image more attractive.
- Explain what you want in a partner.
What to look for in online dating profiles
If you find a dating site you like and start making matches, how do you decide which ones to talk to? Take a look at some things to watch for in a potential date's profile. Studies show that three in ten Americans have used an online dating site.
Profiles with pictures
Without the benefit of tone, inflection, and facial expression, which you'd have with in-person meetings, the information in their profile is all you have to go on when deciding whether you’re interested. Look for profiles with photos that give you an idea of who you’ll be talking to and what they look like. You may get some insight into their personality if they have multiple photos.
Qualities you find attractive
Part of the process for signing up on dating sites and apps is writing a profile designed to catch the interest of potential partners. Look for people who have qualities you find attractive, such as a good sense of humor, an established career, or similar life goals. Try listing the characteristics you'd like in a partner and using those to filter your potential connections.
“The online dating systems have much larger pools of potential partners compared to the number of people your mother knows or the number of people your best friend knows. Dating websites have enormous advantages of scale. Even if most of the people in the pool are not to your taste, a larger choice set makes it more likely you can find someone who suits you.” — Stanford News
Profiles that catch your interest
With so many options, the challenge with online dating becomes narrowing down the seemingly endless stream of potential dates. The systems are designed for profiles to catch your interest with a photo and a few lines of text. Explore your matches and find the ones who make you want to know more.
Dating sites advice: What to avoid in dating sites and profiles
There are a few things you can look for that could indicate a dating site or a potential match won’t provide a positive experience for you.
Watch for overwhelmingly negative reviews
If the online dating site or app has overwhelmingly negative reviews, many of the users have likely had unpleasant experiences. Particularly before committing to a paid service, check out how others have rated its performance.
Avoid giving out personal information in dating apps
Asking for personal information such as your home or work address, phone number, banking information, or passwords is a critical warning sign that indicates all is not as it seems. You could face trouble if you continue interacting.
Beware of scammers
Unfortunately, you may face the risk of catfishing or scammers. Catfishing, or using a fake name, photo, and profile, is a tactic some people use to gain someone’s trust for hostile intentions.
Overtly sexual profiles
If someone’s profile is focused on overtly sexual content, it could indicate that they aren’t interested in a deeper emotional connection or a relationship.
Overly familiar treatment too soon
Some people may act overly familiar or domineering within moments of sending the first message. Unless you’re specifically looking for someone with that personality, it can often indicate that a potential partner may not respect your boundaries or opinions.
Online dating red-flag warning signs
In an online dating world, some red flags are obvious. However, others are hard to distinguish. Meeting new people online and looking for a potential relationship can bring an exhilarating experience. However, do not forget to put your safety on the top list.
Online dating sites advice: Know and avoid the red flags
- Catching a potential match in a lie.
- Asking you for money.
- Planning to meet and repeatedly rescheduling or not showing up.
- Refusing to call or video chat after talking for a while.
- Acting interested online but making excuses if you want to set up a date.
- Expressing love or proposing before you’ve even met.
- Asking to meet for the first time in a secluded place.
- Offering or asking for personal details too soon or asking inappropriate questions.
Reach out for help
If you struggle to connect with other people while dating online, you may benefit from speaking with a qualified therapist to help you develop the confidence and communication strategies to help you find and relate to potential matches online. Working with a counselor can offer the support and guidance of a mental health professional as you delve into the online dating pool.
How therapy can help you form healthy relationships
Many people have trouble expressing themselves or sharing their feelings and needs. If you have difficulty communicating, consider working with a licensed therapist online through a virtual relationship therapy platform like Regain. Therapy can help you form strong, healthy relationships by teaching you effective communication methods and building self-confidence while learning to identify, understand, and express your emotions.
Recent years have brought versatile treatment methods to the forefront of the mental healthcare community. Studies conducted by the American Psychological Foundation show that online and face-to-face therapy provide similar outcomes. However, many patients reported that virtual treatments are more cost-effective and often involve shorter wait times. Teletherapy platforms offer the additional advantage of providing access to a comprehensive network of treatment providers, making it far more likely that you’ll connect with a therapist who fits your needs and personality while making you feel comfortable.
Takeaway
Online dating can be challenging and rewarding in equal measure. The information provided in this article may offer insight into virtual dating sites' positive and negative aspects and how therapy can help you find the emotional balance to form and maintain healthy relationships.
What are the red flags with online dating?
Online dating and dating apps can come with great results, but there are also plenty of online dating red flags to watch out for. Here are a few general tips for online dating. First, look out for incomplete profiles, profiles without photos, and profiles that come with a long list of demands for potential significant others.
If you start talking to men or women online and they immediately begin to call you pet names like “babe” and “honey,” that’s another one of the online dating red flags to watch for. A couple more tips for online dating are that an overly sexual profile is a bad sign since it indicates that the person is not interested in a relationship. In fact, an overly sexual profile or jumping into sexting is one of the red flags to watch for. Finally, another one of the red flags to watch out for is people who are willing to chat with you every day but make excuses not to meet up.
How do you know when online dating is serious?
When you meet men or women online or through dating apps, it can be hard to know whether things are serious or not! But there are a few signs that the person you’re chatting with has the potential to be a great new dating partner. Keep these tips for online dating in mind: interests are a wonderful place to start and can provide a solid foundation for a relationship. A feeling of ease and comfort when talking to an online date also bodes well for an in-person relationship.
Remember these tips for online dating as well: The absence of online dating red flags is also a good sign that the person you’ve met online is ready to date seriously and not just on the internet. Other signs that your online dating has become more serious include consistency in your conversations (no disappearing acts!), having fun talking about the little things together, and both of you having the desire to meet in person. Of course, a successful first date in person is also a good sign that your online relationship has become more serious!
What should I be aware of when online dating?
Just like regular dating, dating online comes with its own potential issues. Remember these basic tips for online dating: Watch out for profiles that aren’t filled out, overly sexual pickup lines, controlling or demanding behaviors, and people asking for financial assistance of any kind. Remember that men and women online can easily pretend to be someone they aren’t--all it takes is typing out a few lines and adding someone else’s picture to your profile.
What are the dos and don'ts of online dating?
Here are some great tips for online dating! First, you do want to create an inviting, engaging profile that represents yourself accurately. Do meet in a public place for your first couple of dates with a person you’ve met online. Do trust your instincts, look out for any money requests, and your online experiences with a trusted friend who can give you perspective on the situation. Finally, do remember that there are a few online dating red flags to watch out for.
However, you don’t want to have unrealistic expectations, spend weeks messaging someone but fail to meet up with them in person, or tell people your information. In addition, don’t drink too much on the first date--a little liquid courage can be helpful, but too much can lead to negative consequences. And don’t be afraid to report any strange behavior or actions that go against the dating website’s code of conduct. Dating online is likely to result in you coming across a profile (or a few) that sends up red flags to watch for. Reporting suspicious profiles is one of the best tips for online dating because it helps save other people from falling for men and women online who aren’t dating online for the right reasons.
Finally, don’t get so caught up in thoughts of dating, dating, and more dating that you forget to enjoy your own life! It’s easy to become a bit too focused on dating. Dating can be very fun and lead to fulfilling relationships, but it shouldn’t be the only important thing in your life.
How do you know if a guy is no longer interested?
We’ve all gone through the experience of hitting it off with a new dating interest after a successful first date, only for the relationship to quickly fizzle out. But how can you tell if the person you’re into is no longer interested or ready to date you? Well, for starters, your conversations will die down, and replies will become shorter and shorter. You won’t be a priority for this person; other things will constantly come up. They will seem uninterested in what you have to say, cancel plans or cut them short, and generally fail to put effort into your relationship.
Is bad texting a red flag?
If someone is bad at texting, most articles with tips for online dating reports can be a warning sign that they’re actually not interested or willing to put effort into your relationship. If they are truly bad at texting, they will likely find another way to communicate with you, such as phone calls, video chats, or talking in person. Generally, though, bad texting points to flakiness and unreliability. These are some clear online dating red flags to watch for.
How do you tell if a guy wants a relationship or just a hookup?
A few signs that a person is only looking to hook up with you are if they only want to talk about your appearance if they insist on staying in rather than going out, and if they only contact you or want to spend time together late at night.
A person who only wants to hook up will not introduce you to friends and family. They’re likely to be more touchy-feely from the get-go as well. Also, if someone straight-up tells you that they’re not looking for anything serious, it’s best to believe them instead of trying to change their mind.
How do you know if a guy is serious about you online?
Keep the following tips for online dating in mind when questioning whether the person you’re dating online is truly interested in you. If a person you met online is serious about you, they’ll spend a lot of time with you. This could be chatting online for hours, watching Netflix separately but together, or playing online games together. They might also begin to refer to the two of you as “we” or “us.” They might use terms of endearment or give you a sweet nickname.
Here are a few more helpful tips for online dating. Men or women online are likely to be serious about you if they always message back quickly and if they let you know their plans for the day so that you’re not left hanging. They will also make attempts to get to know you and make you laugh! If they’re serious about you, you won’t notice any suspicious online dating red flags.
Which dating site has the highest success rate?
How do you find a good man on a dating site?
When checking out dating sites, how do you know which ones to avoid?
What dating sites have been known to be unreliable?
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