Advancing The Relationship: What To Text After First Date
Updated November 29, 2021
Medically Reviewed By: Whitney White, MS. CMHC, NCC., LPC
Are you feeling over the moon after having a successful first date? It can be very nice to know that you are starting to connect with someone on a romantic level. Your first date is just the beginning of your potential relationship, though. If you want to continue the relationship or even grow it, you'll want to keep in contact and plan for a second date. For many people, this involves texting after the first date.
You might be surprised by how many people are thrown off by figuring out what to text someone after they went on a date. Even when the date went well, many people felt nervous about asking their date out again. It's normal to have a few jitters when you like someone, and you want it to work out. Take a look at the advice below to learn about your options to text your new romantic interest after the first date.
When to Text After the First Date
Many people get worried about how long they are supposed to wait to text after the first date. They second-guess themselves and often hold back even when they really want to reach out to their new interest. Some go so far as to hope that their date texts them first, not to have to be the first to make contact. This is all incredibly silly, and it shouldn't be something that so much thought goes into. If you want to text someone after going on a date with them, you should do it.
People worry about unwritten first date rules that say you should wait a certain amount of time before messaging or calling after going on a date. The truth is that these rules are not important at all. You could even argue that they don't really exist. These rules are really social worries that people have expressed over the years. Some worry that contacting a date too soon after going out makes them seem like they are desperate, but in reality, there's a fair chance your date wants to hear from you after the date too!
Messaging someone too much could become annoying. You don't have to text your date every few minutes until you get a response. There is nothing wrong with sending out a simple text after your first date to say that you had a good time. Wait for him or her to respond to you before sending another one. If it takes several days to get a response, that could mean that your date was busy or that they aren't as interested. Either way, a simple text is a great way to communicate your continuing interest or find out where things stand about a second date.
Some people even text a few hours after a date has ended. If you want to tell someone that you had a great time and want to see them again, then that isn't something that you need to hide. Being honest with yourself is a good thing. It's also acceptable to wait a day if you'd like to let the buzz from going on a nice date subside before making contact. Just do what feels natural to you!
What To Text After A First Date
Knowing what to text after a first date is also somewhat hard for some people. You might be enamored with this new guy or girl in your life, but it's still not going to be easy to find the words. Some people always know what to say, and others find themselves stumbling over their words. Don't worry if you're drawing a blank when trying to compose that first text after a successful date. Your main goal is to express how you feel while also seeing how your date is doing.
You might also want to ask this person out on a second date. There are many ways that you can go about this. Some people like to ask when they can expect to go out again boldly. Others feel more comfortable softly suggesting that they should go out again sometime. There is no specific right and wrong way to text someone. It's just about what feels right to you and learning how to communicate honestly.
Take a look at some of these simple texts after first date examples. They should give you an idea of the types of text messages that you could be sending. You don't have to use these specific text messages. It would be better to use your style and communicate how you usually would. These serve as examples in case you're at a loss for words.
"I had a great time going out with you. I hope you had fun, too! Let's go out again sometime soon."
"I've been thinking about you since our date. That was really fun, and I hope we get to do it again."
"Hey, how are you doing? I've been thinking about our date. I had a great time and hope I get to see you again soon."
"Hey, you. How is your day going? Our date was really fun, and we should hang out again when you're free."
All of these ideas are simple, but they will also work well when you're just trying to reach out after you went on a date. You can use your style to ask these sorts of questions or tell your date how you feel. Some people like to use lots of emojis when texting, and others send out gifs to express their sense of humor. Just be yourself and stop being afraid, to be honest about how you're feeling.
Getting to Know You Questions Dating
Another thing that you can do is to use texting to get to know your date. Texting can move a relationship forward by helping you to learn more details about your romantic interest. Many couples grow closer through texting between dates. There are many types of questions that you can ask to get to know someone better. Take a look at some of the example questions below. Some of them are simple, and others might be just a bit flirty.
"What's your favorite type of food?"
"What's your dream job?"
"Do you have any brothers or sisters?"
"What's your dream vacation?"
"Would you like to cook a meal together?"
"Are you ticklish?"
"What's your favorite thing to wear to bed?"
"What's the last show you binge-watched on Netflix?"
"Do you have a favorite book?"
"What types of music are you into?"
"Are you a cuddler?"
"Do you have any tattoos or piercings that aren't obvious?"
"Do you like scary movies?"
"Do you like spending time outdoors?"
"Where do you see yourself in five years?"
Some of the questions are very simple, but they will help you learn more about your date. You can also ask some of the flirty ones and lead the conversation toward something more romantic if your date feels comfortable with it. There are many questions you can ask to build intimacy as well. Just use texting to learn more about your date's interests and expectations. You'll have an easier time planning future dates this way, and you'll also be able to build chemistry by chatting back and forth.
Remember That Some People Don't Text as Often
It's also important to understand that not everyone texts as often as you might like to. Most people in the modern era use text messages as a main form of communication. It's normal to want to text, and you might want to be able to communicate with your new love interest using texts daily. This is totally fine, but some people might not be interested in texting that often. If you are dating someone who keeps a busy schedule, they might not have the time to text you back each day.
Just be cognizant of the fact that not everyone is a big texter. Some people still prefer communicating through traditional phone calls rather than sending texts back and forth. Talk with the person you're dating and figure out how they want to talk and how often they like reaching out. Someone not wanting to text dozens of times per day doesn't mean that they don't like you. It just might be that they don't communicate like that.
Also, don't let text messaging replace getting to know someone in person. This probably seems obvious, but it's still important to note. Certain things get lost in translation when you're just texting with someone. You can't read someone's body language over text, and you might miss out on certain things. Try to use text messaging as one way to get to know someone better. Set up a second date when you can and spend time with them in person. This is where you're really going to be able to figure out if your budding relationship has legs.
Don't Hesitate to Contact Online Couples Counselors
You should never hesitate to contact online couples' counselors if you are in need. As your relationship continues to evolve, you might find yourself encountering new problems. Every couple will have issues that will need to be overcome. It isn't necessary to try to take these issues on all alone either. You can reach out to online couples' counselors to get help, and they will allow you to work through problems safely. They can offer expert advice while also simply being there for you when you need a friendly voice on the other end of the line. A relationship counselor can also help you approach dating with a healthy mindset if you're just getting started dating or having some issues with it.
Love isn't always easy, but you can keep working at it with the help of these online therapists. They have been able to help many couples who are struggling with advancing their relationships. If you'd like to get the help of a skilled professional, then you'll be able to reach out whenever you are ready. Online counseling is convenient because you don't have to worry about leaving the house. The counselors are available at any time, and you'll always be able to get the assistance you need. Make contact today if you would like to start going through counseling as a couple or if you'd like individual counseling.
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