He's Into You: 5 Signs A First Date Went Well

Updated November 16, 2022 by ReGain Editorial Team

First dates can be treacherous territory. Whether it's tinder dates, you're being set up by friends, or you met this person by happenstance out and about, the anxiety behind the first date is all the same. We want to show the best version of ourselves, and hopefully, making out on a first date is not how you want to show your best. We also don't want to waste our own time or their time if it's not a good fit. Things don't always go according to plan, however. Sometimes a first date seems like it's going well but leads nowhere. Other times a date can go wrong, but you find that you want to see them again. Sometimes first dates are perfectly ordinary, too. So how do you know if a first date has gone well? What are the subtle signs that are ultimately a sign of good chemistry? How can you tell these subtle signs apart from mixed signals? And if you don't think it went well, how do you know if you should see the person again anyway?

Unsure If He's Into You?

Studies show that men and women see signs a first date went well differently. What a man tends to think makes a first date a success is different from what a woman thinks makes a good first date. Men think women are attracted to them if they get physical with their flirting, especially if it leads to sex. Women, on the other hand, think men are attracted to them if the conversation flowed nicely. If the man can lead a great conversation, ask good questions, and maintain good eye contact with his date, a woman will feel like a second date will happen. These are general findings, however, and shouldn't be seen as set in stone.

If you want to look critically at a first date and figure out if it went well, try looking at these five signs.

1. You Have Chemistry

Sometimes when you're on a first date with someone you can feel chemistry but the other person doesn't see it, or vice versa. Or, you can want a date to work out so bad that you project chemistry onto them even though you might be able to see it isn't there. There are some subtle signs that you can see if your partner thinks you have chemistry, though. It's all about body language. If your partner mirrors your movements subtly like if they match your smile or match your posture, they're probably attracted to you. If they fully face you when they're talking to you, this shows that they are genuinely interested in you and the date. They might also lean in closer and closer to you as you’re talking; this is one of the great signs that they are interested in you and what you’re saying. You won’t have to worry about what a guy thinks after a first date as he’s showing he wants more dates with you. However, if they look around a lot or face the exit at any time, that's a sign they're thinking about heading out.  When a great time turns into a bad first date for the books, do not be discouraged! Everyone is bound to have a date that’s less than love-at-first-sight, so keep your date ideas at hand and start up the process again when you're ready. 

Also, when a date likes you, they will probably try to get as close to you as they can. If you notice your date leaning into you while they speak or inching closer to you while you sit, they probably like you quite a bit. While these aren't foolproof ways to find out if you have chemistry with a date, it is a really good starting point. If they ask for a second date (or you ask and get a yes!), you can check these off the list and pull those date ideas you have on hand for immediate perusal.

2. Your Conversation Flows

If you've had a great first date conversation, that could be a sign that it went well. Being able to talk easily with a new person is also a relief when you are just getting to know them. Sometimes talking easily comes after the first, second, third, fourth date, etc., so keep an open mind if the very first date isn’t flooded with dialogue. There are people who are shy, or socially anxious, or even just normally quiet, so flowing conversation doesn't have to mean constant communication. Start small with small talk. With some luck, this first date cocktail conversation may dive into deeper dialogue. Additionally, silence may feel awkward on a first date, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the date bombed. Pay attention to how you talk instead of how much you talk. Does your date have interesting things to say? Do you find that you want to get to know them more? Do you want to things about yourself as well? As you get to know your date, the conversation will get easier. Maybe your date went longer than you expected. Finding yourselves lost in time at the hand of quality conversation is one of many telltale signs of a good date. Even if your conversation isn’t stellar, if you both at least find each other interesting, that's cause for a second date. So, even if you don’t necessarily have a lot of things to talk about but you still sense your date’s interest in keeping the conversation going, that can be one of the great signs that the date went well.

3. You Hug or Kiss At The End Of The Night

A first date doesn't have to lead to sex for it to be considered a good first date. If your date offers up a hug or a chaste kiss, that's also a good sign. It shows that they are attracted to you at least a little bit, and they're wanting physical contact, which shows chemistry. Getting physical doesn't always mean a date went well, either. If a date is looking for a hookup, they might want the one good date, and then they'll move on. Showing some restraint with a hug or a small kiss on the first date can show that they are interested in more, but they want to get to know you beforehand. If your date senses this, they’ll likely look forward to the second date. 

However, if you do find that they are aloof, you can ask them what they are thinking. Remember that you get to decide how physical you want to get on a first date. Someone who deserves another date with you will respect your limits or boundaries on a first date.

4. He Wants To Know More About You

When you are on a date, and the conversation is flowing, a clear sign that your date senses that they like you is that they have a lot of questions for you. The first dates are for starting to get to know each other. If your date goes on and on about their things but never asks you any questions, they are probably more interested in themselves than you. This inattention could be a warning that date number two will not lead to good results. It could also be a sign that they're feeling good about things with you, hoping you may ask them questions or offering information for you to relate to. Both are viable reasons for someone to talk too much and ask too little. Though this observation may not make for a date you immediately felt true love for, it may encourage you to pursue understanding someone closer. 

Many times, if a date truly wants to get to know you more, they'll ask you about your life, your interests, possibly your past, and future plans. Your answers to these questions will help you see if you are interested in a second date, too. If you want to open up about who you are, you probably enjoy their company and want them to get to know you.

On the flip side, do you want to get to know your date? Are you interested in their life and their interests? When a conversation can go back and forth between the two of you asking questions, there's probably mutual chemistry happening.

5. You the Same Values

To the outside world, a first date can go perfectly even if you didn't feel it. This is because sometimes first dates tick off all of the physical signs, but you aren't a match internally. If you don't the same values with your date, it would be a bumpy road to try and continue a relationship with them. Values aren't the same as interests. You should be able to sense how your date views and responds to the world, no matter what their interests or hobbies are. You can have wonderful relationships with people who have different hobbies, tastes, and habits. It's harder to have a relationship with someone who doesn't believe the same things you do, though. They may think differently about having kids, getting married, spending time with family. Finding these differences will probably send up a red flag in the back of your head. Are you willing to work through these differences for this date? Are any of these red flags true deal breakers?

If you do the same values, you may be off to a great start. When you have a date that connects on a deeper level, you’re more likely to love dating and continuing a relationship with that person. Plus, the relationship is more likely to be healthy for both of you. Even if you have different interests, that can be fun, and is no reason why you shouldn’t have a fun first date. If you are both inwardly reaching for the same goals and values, you can always work out wanting to do different things. You might even find something new you like because your date first showed it to you. If you are a religious person and religion is important to you, a date will probably go well if you have a first date who that religious background.

First dates can be fun and memorable with the right person. When a first date goes well, you usually already know. Intuitively, you'll see how the two of you connect and will realize you want the dating to continue.

Unfortunately, dates can go well but then never lead to a second date. They can give you all the signs and still not call, or say they had fun but aren't interested. In these cases, it's usually something they're working through on their own.

Unsure If He's Into You?

If you are in the dating scene and can't seem to make it past a first date, you might want to consider relationship counseling. Through ReGain, you will be matched with a licensed counselor that can help you through the process of dating by helping you find your self-esteem and giving you guidance on the dating process. ReGain will allow a deeper conversation than you might experience if you call and converse with friends about the date you cannot seem to get past. For more information on ReGain please go to www.regain.us/start.

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