Don't Know What To Do On A First Date With A Girl? Consider These 8 Tips
Medically Reviewed By Laura Angers, NCC, LPCThe first date is one of the most anticipated moments in any relationship. It's scary and exciting at the same time and is a vital moment at the start of a relationship. Anything could happen! If you're going on a date with a girl you're interested in, chances are you want to impress her so that you can convince her to go on a second date (and a third date, and fourth date, and so on). If you don't know what to do on a first date with a girl, these are some of the top tips for making a good first impression:
- Be A Gentleman
Chivalry is not dead. Opening the door for a girl, bringing her flowers or some other small gift, and letting her go ahead of you are all things a gentleman would do. During your date, try to remain humble about your achievements and opinions while being respectful and curious about them. A balanced attitude is impressive and hard to find.
A nice, genuine compliment or two can be a powerful tool to use on a first date with a girl (and really, throughout your relationship). A true compliment comes from the heart, so unless you believe what you're about to say, don't say it. But, if you first see her on your date, you immediately notice her beautiful smile or an awesome shirt that she's wearing, go for it and say something to her! She'll notice your gentlemanly efforts and will appreciate the attention.
Don't stop there! Being a gentleman takes some work and practice, but it's well worth the time. Humility, punctuality, kindness, and consistency are all keys to being a gentleman on a first date.
- Keep Your Eyes Where They're Supposed To Be
This tip refers to two things: first, make eye contact when you're talking to your date (and sometimes when you're not), and second, keep your wandering eye in check.
If you're wondering what to do on a first date with a girl, eye contact is incredibly important. Research has demonstrated time and time again that eye contact is one of the precursors of both love and lust, so if there's anything to remember on a first date, it's to maintain this connection. Of course, don't stare! Just be aware of eye contact and make sure to make it a priority.
It's important to keep your eyes focused on your girlfriend/wife and not on other women at any point in a relationship. But, on a first date especially, girls will be hyper-attentive to whether or not their date has eyes only for them or if he's checking out other girls while he's with her. Even if you have no intention of acting on your glances, a look at another girl while you're on a first date with a woman you're truly interested in can make the difference between getting a second date or being completely rejected in the future. Keep your eyes on your date, and she'll thank you!
- Have Some Questions Ready
The first date is somewhat like an interview in that both people are "testing" the other person to see if they'd be a good fit for each other. Both people are likely to have specific questions for each other that will help them determine their compatibility, but it's important to keep in mind that a large part of the first date is to have fun and keep things light.
If you get nervous, it's a good idea to think of some questions you can ask ahead of time before the date has even started. Come up with serious questions (i.e., What are some of your goals?) and some more fun questions (i.e., If you were an animal, what animal would you be?) to keep yourself and your date interested. Pay close attention to your date's answers, and don't be afraid to ask follow-up questions if you have them. She'll probably have a few questions of her own, too; honesty and humor are good to use because that way, you can still exhibit and talk about your weaknesses if needed but in a fun and entertaining way.
- Stay Positive
On the first date, negativity isn't winning you any points with a potential love prospect. Maintaining a positive attitude and a light demeanor - even in tense moments or in the face of a catastrophe (for example, if you spill water on yourself) - can be extremely attractive and interesting. Your date will certainly appreciate your ability to stay positive since it shows self-control and an ability not to take things too seriously, both qualities that many women appreciate in a partner. As far as what to do on a first date with a girl, keeping an optimistic attitude will surely work in your favor.
- Be Yourself
This one may sound obvious to some people since the first date is a time when you're trying to decide if the other person is someone you could spend the rest of your life with! Therefore, it's important to be your real, true self. Be honest and let some of your true colors show. Of course, you'll (hopefully) be on your best behavior during the date, but don't pretend to be someone you're not. If you have opinions about things that are different from your date's, express your different opinions. Differences can sometimes be more powerful than similarities in a relationship if handled diplomatically and respectfully.
- Confidence And Decisiveness
Nothing is more attractive than a man who is confident and able to make decisions. One way to start the date with a confident, decisive attitude is to plan the date ahead of time and make decisions about fun activities that the two of you can do together. This doesn't mean you have to create an elaborate date plan, though. A simple date that consists of dinner and a movie can be just right; the point is that you (the guy) decide on where to go and what to do. This shows that you're able to take care of the girl you're going on a date with and also that you can confidently make decisions (an attractive quality). Continue to exhibit this quality during the date in a humble way, and you're sure to make an impression.
Feel nervous, and you're not sure how to appear confident? Experts say that a "fake it till you make it" approach can be quite effective. If you aren't feeling confident at the beginning of the date, consider adopting a more confident, open posture. It's important to be kind to yourself on a date because you will make mistakes. Forgive yourself, apologize to your date if necessary, and then move forward with your head held high.
- Have Respect
Respect is a cardinal rule on a first date. Everything from your date's opinions and thoughts to the boundaries she has around physical interaction should be respected. If the two of you are talking about serious and important topics at any point during the date, you may encounter a difference of opinions about something. Even if you disagree with your date on a particular subject, it's important to respect her stance. This doesn't necessarily mean abandoning your own opinion; it simply means that you say, "I understand your opinion, and even though I don't agree, and I would like to learn more about it so that I understand you as a person."
- Pay The Bill
Yes, some people might argue that this is an antiquated tradition, but the truth is that the man paying for the woman on the first date is a symbolic gesture that is extremely powerful. Some women may not appreciate the gesture and may even object (refer to #7, respect this position if your date doesn't want you to pay). Still, many women will appreciate this timeless and sweet action, especially if it's done with no expectation in mind.
Paying the bill symbolizes the man's willingness and ability to support the woman. Because traditionally, the man is the breadwinner, this one small action can set a normal, balanced tone for the entire relationship. Plus, it shows that you're more than able to take control of the man and that you can take care of your woman (who is your date).
Conclusion:
First dates are some of the most exhilarating occasions in a person's life. There are so many unknowns that both parties have before the date! Even if you're super nervous about going on a date, these tips will guide you toward being your best possible self on this first date. The point is to have fun and relax, so take a deep breath and let it out slowly. You've got this!
Talking with a licensed therapist with expertise in relationships and dating can be helpful and enlightening if you're having trouble in the dating world.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What should I do on my first date with a girl?
Sometimes a first date idea was already answered during the initial first date request. Try to remember how you phrased it! For example, if you originally said, “do you want to grab a drink sometime?” or “can I take you out to dinner?” the activity is already established, and both people are probably open to it. Those are common date ideas and take a bit of the pressure off when choosing what to do later. Still, you now have to decide what kind of vibe to go for, like a casual sports bar versus an upscale restaurant, or maybe a picnic in the park. Dinner and a movie is a classic for a reason! You have options. Try to gauge the girl’s interests and choose a place where you both feel comfortable getting to know each other. Try doing something that’s a little fun, but also put some thought into it! For any good date idea, thoughtfulness is key.
How do you get a girl to fall for you on the first date?
There’s no magic method to get a girl, or anyone, to fall for you on the first date. If you’re too focused on getting someone to fall for you, you’re probably not thinking about the individual in front of you. Maybe you’ve even been overdating and want one to work out, more to prove something than actually form an emotional connection. If you really like a girl and you want her to like you, just be yourself. The purpose of any first date is usually to see if you two actually enjoy spending time together. The best way to set yourself up for a good relationship in the future, rather than one date you can put in the metaphorical success column, is to be yourself. Women vary in what they consider to be charming. She won’t necessarily fall for you on the first date if you’re trying to be something you're not. Since women are individuals with no one-size-fits-all approach, being yourself is more likely to create a good relationship ultimately. If the date feels welcomed, heard, and seen while you are yourself, you might both get a good vibe and want to move forward.
Can a girl pay on the first date?
Of course, she can! What the woman or man expects is completely different from the ability to pay. In our modern era, people have wildly different opinions about who should sign the check while on a first date. Historically, some women will expect the man to pay, even if she offers. These mind games are generally not meant to torture the man but rather represented a more old fashioned method of testing his generosity. It might seem outdated to some, but always consider the way your gestures can be interpreted. Some people consider paying to be a classy way of saying “thank you for joining me” and therefore expect whoever did the initial asking to pay. If a date went well and there might be more dates on the horizon, paying on the first date with a girl doesn't need to indicate how every date will go. If you are able, paying can be a way to put your best foot forward. Most people in relationships will eventually come to a compromise that works for both people. While it can be awkward to discuss on the first date, laughing through some of the more outdated dating traditions can be a casual way to bring up the issue of money.
How should a girl act on a first date?
Dating is hard, and the rules can seem to be constantly changing. According to Pew Research Center, 75% of Americans have found it difficult to date in the past year. It can be intimidating.
Whether you planned the date or accepted it, the same advice applies to both men and women: be present and be yourself. Similarly, make your date feel seen and heard. For some, that could mean putting the cell phone away or making eye contact. Try to share the conversation as your get to know each other, and wary of one person dominating the discussions. If the date seems like it’s going well, enjoy it! Overthinking how you act is more likely to trip you up than trying to relax and be natural. Neither person on the date owes anything to the other. If a situation grows to be uncomfortable, one can always leave, and neither person’s actions on a date should prioritize dating rules over safety.
How do you flirt on a first date?
On the first date with a girl, it might take some time to get an idea of her sense of humor. If you both seem comfortable, you can flirt casually, but keep it lighthearted. Too much flirting can seem aggressive or forward. All you need to do on a first date if it’s going well shows that you’re interested and excited to be there. Everyone has their own style of flirting. While you can go outside your comfort zone or dial it back a bit based on the other person, the best way to discover the possibility of a good relationship is to relax and be yourself.
