Is Anger Management Counseling Right For Me And When Should I Seek It?
Anger is a normal, healthy human emotion that everyone experiences from time to time. When managed correctly, it can be a useful tool that allows us to identify unjust circumstances and express our needs or opinions.
In some cases, however, anger can become uncontrollable and have a severe negative impact on your relationship, work, or other areas of your life. People who undergo anger management counseling can learn valuable tools for decreasing and managing their anger and its negative ramifications.
What is anger management counseling?
Options for anger management can involve either individual or group counseling, depending on the preferences and resources of the client. Sessions usually occur weekly or between several months, though they may occur more or less frequently depending on the individual. Unlike other types of therapy, anger management counseling focuses exclusively on treating and managing anger.
What are the signs of an anger management problem?
By itself, extreme anger is a symptom, not a diagnosable condition. As previously mentioned, anger is a normal emotion that can be important in certain aspects of life. But an anger management problem can express itself in many ways. These include:
- Ongoing feelings of rage, aggressiveness, irritability, or dissatisfaction
- Cutting remarks or frequent sarcasm
- Name-calling
- Shouting or cursing
- Threats of violence
- Breaking items
- Violence against others
In the heat of the moment, you may say or do things that cause severe and lasting damage to your relationships. Even if you regret it later, it can be difficult to repair the damage done.
What causes anger problems?
Anger problems develop due to many factors. These can include the way a person is raised, chronic stress, past life experiences, domestic violence, and sometimes neurobiological disorders. You may have never been allowed to express your emotions healthily or witnessed examples of angry outbursts. Many people who end up seeking anger management have a history of physical or emotional abuse.
Anger management issues are often related to mental health conditions, including depression, anxiety disorders, and substance use disorders.
Mental health disorders that may be involved
Aggression, irritability, or increased anger can sometimes be symptoms of various mental or health conditions. A mental health professional can evaluate and diagnose any issues you may be experiencing, including:
- Depression: Depression is one of the most prevalent mental health conditions in the United States, affecting up to 16 million adults. Symptoms of depression vary depending on the person and may include emotional numbness, loss of interest in activities, social isolation, irritability, fatigue, and mood swings. Increased irritability and depression are more commonly found in men with depression.
- Oppositional defiance disorder (ODD): ODD is a type of behavioral disorder that involves aggressive behavior, irritability, and risk-taking. ODD is usually diagnosed in children, who often display defiance toward any authority figure.
- Intermittent explosive disorder (IED): For a person to be diagnosed with IED, they must have ongoing, severe episodes of aggressive, uncontrolled rage. These instances may have no obvious trigger. The individual may also experience a constant underlying sense of irritability and discontentment.
- Substance use disorder: In some cases, anger may be a symptom of a substance use disorder, such as alcoholism or drug use. Anger may be expressed during or after a situation in which an individual has misused these substances.
Anger may also be a symptom of another mental or physical health condition, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). If you believe you may have a mental illness, seek out a formal diagnosis from a qualified professional.
How do I know if anger management counseling is right for me?
Anger, more than most emotions, has the potential to be destructive when it is extreme and poorly managed. Uncontrolled anger can lead people to lash out at their loved ones, be aggressive and violent, and have poor impulse control. It may even lead to arrest, in certain cases. Left unchecked, people with anger management problems may be more susceptible to alcohol and drug misuse.
Often, a person with an anger management problem doesn't see him or herself as having a problem. They may blame their rage on outside circumstances and the other people in their lives. They may have friends, family, or even coworkers urging them to get a better handle on their anger but brush this advice off as nagging or unfair.
Unfortunately, it usually isn't until an individual faces serious consequence, such as an arrest or the breakup of a relationship, that they realize the extent of the negative ramifications of their anger.
Maybe you are aware that your anger is out of control, but you either think you can solve the problem yourself or you're not sure how to stop losing your temper. Maybe you've tried what feels like everything to tame your anger, without much success.
When should I seek anger management?
An individual is encouraged to seek out anger management counseling or even attend anger management classes when there is evidence that their anger is negatively impacting their life. If you're consistently having difficulty managing your anger, if your relationships are being impacted, if other people in your life have told you that you need to get help, if you've tried everything on your own only to wind up chronically frustrated, it may be time to seek out anger management to harness your anger before it takes over your life.
Anger management required by court order
In certain cases, including those involving domestic violence, anger management may be mandated by the court system. Court order or the probation officer usually determines the frequency, duration, and several therapy sessions.
The goals of anger management counseling
Anger management counseling seeks to help you control your anger in many ways. First, you're taught to identify your triggers for losing your temper. This step requires an honest look at your past angry outbursts and what gets under your skin.
Triggers can take many different forms, including conversation topics, situations, interactions with particular people, or stressors. They vary from person to person and depend on each individual's life experience.
Once you and your therapist have a clear picture of your triggers, you can start to develop personalized strategies for recognizing your anger and managing it in healthy, non-destructive ways. You'll learn how to solve problems more effectively, which will give you a sense of control. You'll also learn how to be more assertive in a way that appears confident and not aggressive to others.
The strategies taught depends on the counselor. They may include:
Cognitive restructuring
Cognitive restructuring refers to actively changing the way that you think. By the time we mature into adulthood, we've developed automatic thinking patterns that guide our behavior. Without analyzing the way we think, we'll repeat the same behaviors, even if they're harmful. People who struggle to control their anger usually have cognitive distortions that cause them to exaggerate the importance of a situation or to blow things out of proportion. Cognitive restructuring involves identifying these thinking errors and replacing them with healthier, more realistic alternatives.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness has become widely used in psychological settings to treat conditions such as depression, anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD, and anger disorders. Mindfulness involves focusing your awareness on the present moment without judging or reacting to what's going on. Instead, you observe your thoughts, emotions, and experience with a certain level of healthy detachment, allowing you to build space in between your impulses and your actions. Preliminary research has indicated that mindfulness is useful for managing anger problems.
Journaling exercises
Your therapist may want you to keep a record of situations in which you lose control of your anger, noting the triggers, your state of mind, and the consequences of each episode. They may also have you use worksheets or workbooks that help you analyze your thinking patterns and automatic reactions when you experience anger. These exercises can help you get a clearer picture of how anger is affecting your life.
Relaxation techniques
Your therapist may teach you relaxation techniques for lowering your overall stress. This reduces the possibility of an aggressive or destructive outburst. Progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, and stretching exercises can all help you relax your body and mind when practiced regularly. Some relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, can help you calm down when you feel your anger beginning to get out of control.
Online therapy for anger management
If you are seeing signs that may signify it's time to seek out anger management therapy, it's best to connect with a therapist that you feel comfortable opening up to.
Being matched with a therapist online can allow you to receive individualized counseling from a therapist experienced in your areas of concern, including anger management, as well as any comorbid conditions, such as depression or anxiety. It can also allow you to meet from a comfortable, safe environment such as your home, on your own schedule.
Research has found that online therapy is just as effective as in-person treatment for a variety of conditions including depression and anxiety. This means that you do not have to compromise on quality to have convenient and affordable therapy for anger management.
Takeaway
Struggling with out-of-control anger can be difficult and isolating. But anger doesn't have to control your life or ruin your relationships. By learning how to manage your anger, you can improve your control and your symptoms. Know that you are not alone and that you can reach out to an empathetic and experienced licensed therapist at Regain for individualized guidance.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
What is the best therapy for anger management?
Few therapy techniques have been adequately researched when it comes to treating anger management. However, of the ones that have been tested, cognitive behavioral therapy is effective in over 75% of anger management patients.
One of the most well-known and effective versions of cognitive behavioral therapy when it comes to anger therapy is known as stress inoculation. Using this technique, a therapist will work with their patient and purposely present them with plausible situations that would cause them to become angry.
Together, the anger management therapist and patient can work together to determine what the patient’s triggers are, how the patient reacts to them, and what is problematic about those responses. From there, the anger management therapist and patient will work together on coping mechanisms, relaxation techniques, and other avenues of behavior that the patient can use when dealing with triggering situations.
In some situations, anger management has also been effective in couples therapy and family therapy situations, particularly when dealing with anger issues toward a spouse or partner or from a child toward their parents.
It is important to note however, that the purpose of anger management is not to learn how to suppress your emotions, but to rather learn how to express and channel those feelings positively and constructively. If the only thing you learn how to do is suppress your feelings of anger, then they can quickly turn to resentment at the feeling of never being heard. Eventually, this will turn into passive aggressive anger, which is no better than the original situation.
If you are experiencing constant feelings of anger that are interfering with your daily life, work, or relationships, find a therapist that specializes in anger management therapy and start your anger management classes today.
Can counseling help with anger?
Absolutely. Working with a licensed anger management therapist is a much safer, constructive way of addressing anger issues and emotional triggers than trying to figure it our yourself.
Working with a therapist that understands the psychology behind why people become angry and also understands how to help channel that anger in a new, productive, and safer way is the optimal way to learn to understand and control your anger. It is a much better option than not doing anything about it and getting into a bad situation.
You will learn how to properly express anger, your feelings of anger, as well as how to manage your anger in a healthy way and how to cope with anger healthily. Find a therapist and begin your anger management therapy today.
How much does anger management therapy cost?
It varies from practice to practice. Additionally, online therapy will usually be cheaper than in person therapy. Likewise, group therapy may be more cost-effective than one-on-one therapy. Typically, a group session may range anywhere from $25-50 per session.
Is anger management a mental illness?
While anger itself is not considered a mental illness, it is a symptom and byproduct of a number of mental illnesses. Everyone gets angry from time to time. It only becomes a concern when that anger is irrational, over-the-top, or a danger to yourself or others. Some of the mental illnesses that severe anger can be a sign of are:
Depression
Bipolar disorder
Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)
Alcohol or substance abuse
Attention deficit hyperactive disorder (ADHD)
Intermittent explosive disorder (IED)
In some cases, grief can cause people to be severely angry, and can also lead to an episode of depression. Altogether, there are 32 mental health conditions that have anger as a primary symptom.
Why do I get angry so easily?
While it is normal to feel anger at certain life events, for example getting fired, breaking up with your significant other, or getting into a car accident, the anger should not be so severe that it leads you to potentially harm yourself or others.
If you often find yourself becoming irrationally angry, or friends and family have expressed concern about your temper, then it may be time to seek professional medical advice. You may feel angry often because of an underlying mental health condition.
How do you stop a sudden burst of anger?
If you find yourself getting angry, try some relaxation techniques to calm yourself. First, use deep breathing by breathing in slowly through your nose until you feel your lungs and diaphragm fully expand. Hold the breath for ten seconds and count down slowly in your head. Then release the breath slowly through your mouth. Repeat as many times as you need until the surge of adrenaline has passed and you are more in control.
Focus on a positive thought, or create a “happy place” that you can visualize in your mind while you’re doing your breathing exercises. It may also be helpful to remove yourself from the situation if you can until you’re able to calm yourself down.
If you find yourself experiencing constant and severe bouts of anger, find a therapist that can help you with your anger management condition.
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