Get Answers To Marriage Counseling Questions
Those considering marriage counseling often question how to bring up the idea to their spouse. In general, it’s best not to broach this subject at any particularly high or low points. Instead, you might choose to bring it up at a neutral point, such as a time that you typically spend together during your daily routine. If you’re wondering whether you really need counseling, you might look at your trust, communication, and relationship issues to gain insight. A marriage counselor, whether in person or online, can help you work through issues and strengthen your relationship.
How Do I Suggest Marriage Counseling To My Spouse?
If you and your partner have been struggling in your relationship, you may want to seek marital counseling. According to one study, the most difficult part of starting marital counseling may be convincing your partner to agree to participate in the process. It’s possible that if the topic is not approached correctly, it could be perceived as a personal attack. Here are a few tips that can help you broach the subject effectively.
Don’t Bring It Up While Fighting
The middle of an argument is generally not the time to bring up couples counseling. By doing so, you may risk your partner misinterpreting a genuine attempt to improve the relationship. They might think the suggestion is a passive-aggressive threat, or they might accuse you of playing the blame game. It’s possible your spouse might think that you will leave the relationship unless they agree to go into counseling.
Similarly, it may not be best to bring up the subject at a high moment, such as during or after an enjoyable date. Even if this is not threatening as bringing it up in a low moment like an argument can be, it is likely to lead to a heavy conversation that can be quite a buzzkill for a nice time. If you are having frequent problems with your partner and you happen to have a good night, the last thing you normally want to do is ruin that by disrupting the opportunity to experience intimacy and other positive emotions with a discussion that can probably wait.
There may be no perfect time to bring up the subject, but there can be times more likely than others to result in the desired outcome. A good time to bring up the idea that counseling is something you should try might be after a minor conflict or during part of your normal routine, such as dinnertime. You might also plan a specific time to talk with your partner so that both of you can give the conversation your full attention.
Do We Really Need Counseling?
There is generally no harm in attending counseling, but you may question whether counseling is truly necessary for you and your partner. You might answer the following questions to determine whether counseling may benefit you.
What Does Trust Look Like In Your Relationship?
Trust can come in many forms. It can be broken very easily, and the task of rebuilding it can be challenging.
For instance, if one partner has been unfaithful in the past, they may assume that the trust has been gained back, even if it was not. Knowing if and when your partner trusts you (and vice versa) or finding that trust has been broken can be enlightening for couples. A marital therapist can help couples find ways to forgive and regain confidence in the relationship.
Trust can also have to do with reliability. The ability to trust your partner’s word that they will do certain things as they’ve said can be an important aspect of trust that can be addressed with a therapist.
What Does Communication Look Like In Your Relationship?
Many couples do not realize that they have lost their ability to communicate with their spouse. Other couples may have resorted to yelling or engaged in negative communication. If you and your partner are finding it difficult to communicate or seem to have frequent misunderstandings, a counselor may be able to give you tools and suggestions on how to regain healthy communication.
What Are The Significant Issues In Your Relationship?
Although you may find that trust is the biggest issue, your partner may find that not having enough free time to spend with you is deteriorating the relationship. There may be more than one issue or many issues that are related. While talking about these issues may be helpful, you may find that speaking to a counselor can be more beneficial as they can offer suggestions you and your partner may never have thought of. If the same issues tend to arise again and again, it can be helpful to speak with a therapist who can help you address the root of the problem.
Find A Marriage Therapist Who Can Help
Answering these questions with your spouse or partner can give some clarity as to the necessity of receiving marital counseling. If you and your spouse struggle to answer any of these questions, a qualified counselor can potentially provide a comfortable setting where both partners can feel safe. If your partner is hesitant or resistant to counseling, you might suggest that they meet one-on-one with the counselor before they engage in partners counseling. This can help loosen the stronghold around their negative ideas of what counseling is and what it means to be seeing a therapist.
If attending marriage counseling sessions in person isn’t a convenient option for you, you may consider attending therapy from home through an online therapy platform instead. This can enable you to quickly match with a suitable marriage therapist and book sessions that fit into your schedule.
As this study explains, in-person and online couples therapy tend to have the same rate of efficacy. Online couples therapy can improve your mental health and relationship satisfaction, so if you believe you and your spouse would benefit from professional help, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
When you’re considering suggesting marriage counseling to your spouse, you might try not to bring it up after a great date or during a serious argument. It can be better to bring it up during a more neutral time. If you’re curious about whether you truly need marriage counseling, consider your communication, trust, and any problems in your marriage for some insight. Completing sessions with a licensed therapist can help couples grow stronger in their relationships, and you can find a marriage therapist online or in your local area.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What should a marriage counselor not say?
A marriage counselor should normally never say anything discriminatory toward their clients. This is unlikely to happen, but if it does, please report it.
What are good marriage questions?
Here are some good marriage questions that may help you reflect on and enhance your relationship:
- What do I love about my spouse?
- What do I admire about my spouse?
- What’s a little something extra I can do to enhance my partner’s day and make them smile?
Can you do marriage counseling alone?
You may attend marriage counseling alone, but it’s generally much more effective when both partners are in attendance and willing to put in effort to improve the relationship.
What are good questions to ask a married couple?
A married couple might ask themselves these questions:
- Do my partner and I know each other’s love languages?
- When was the last time we stepped outside of our daily routine? If we haven’t, what’s something different we can try soon?
- Are there any places we’d like to visit together?
- Are there any new activities we’d like to try together?
- Are there any new restaurants, parks, museums, or landmarks nearby that would be fun to go to together?
- What can we do to make some new memories together?
- How often do we have date nights?
Answering these questions can help you reflect on your relationship and give you ideas for increasing the affection and excitement in your partnership.
What are some deep questions to ask?
Deep questions can be a great way to increase closeness or maintain closeness in a relationship. Here are some deep questions to ask your spouse or partner:
- What topics would you say that you’ve been thinking about the most lately?
- What have been some of the most profound learning experiences in your life?
- Do you believe in regrets?
- Do you have any regrets?
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?
- If you could tell your childhood self anything, what would it be?
How well do you know your husband’s wife’s questions?
Here are some “how well do you know your spouse?” questions:
- What do they love to do the most?
- What are their primary love languages?
- What’s their idea of a great night out?
- What’s their idea of a great night in?
- What are some small joys that make their day?
- What chores do they dislike that I can do to make things easier for them?
- What are some of their favorite meals?
- Is there anything they enjoy doing that they haven’t gotten to do for a while? How can we plan to make sure that they get to do that thing soon?
- Are there any places they’d like to travel to in the future?
- What are their main goals and dreams right now?
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