Get Answers To Marriage Counseling Questions
The following questions are answers to marriage counseling questions commonly asked by those considering therapy.
How Do I Bring Up the Topic?
If you and your partner have been struggling in your relationship, you may want to seek marital counseling. According to one study, the most difficult part of starting marital counseling is convincing your partner to agree to participate in the process. Right from the start, if the topic is not brought up in the right way, or even if it is, but at a less than an opportune moment, it is possible or even likely that it may be received as a personal attack.
There are no ‘dos’ or don’ts when talking about marriage counseling with your partner. There are things that you can do to make the conversation easier, though.
Don’t Bring it Up While Fighting
In the middle of an argument is not the time to bring up marriage or couples counseling. By doing so, you risk your partner misinterpreting a genuine attempt to improve the relationship. They might think the ‘marriage counseling’ suggestion is just a passive-aggressive threat. They might also accuse you of playing the blame game. Or, your spouse might think that you will leave the relationship unless they agree to go into counseling.
You are probably better off not bringing up the subject at a high moment, such as during or after an enjoyable date. Even if this is not threatening, like bringing it up in a low moment like an argument, it is still likely to lead to a heavy conversation that then leads to talking about present or potential issues in the relationship – that can be quite a buzzkill for a nice time. Particularly if you are having constant or more regular problems with your partner and you happen to have a good night, the last thing you want to do is ruin that by disrupting the opportunity to experience intimacy and other positive emotions with a discussion that can probably wait.
There is no perfect time to bring up the subject, but there are times more likely than others to result in the desired outcome. As mentioned, you do not want your partner to feel threatened, nor do you want to sour a nice time with a heavy topic.
A good time to try to bring up the idea that counseling is something you should try might be resolved amicably after a minor conflict. While it might seem like that’s the time to pick your battles, it is one of those middle ground moments where the idea that there are issues that can be addressed is already present in both partners’ minds, or at least your minds are primed to think about it rather than having it seemingly come out of nowhere.
Do We Even Need Counseling?
There are many questions to ask married couples that can help gauge whether or not counseling is right for you. Sitting down and talking through any issues will probably give both of you a hint of what your relationship looks like from your point of view and your partner’s. Most of the time, questions for married couples serve as an opener and a pleasant approach to uncover any flaws in the relationship. If any of the answers to these questions seem negative, it may be time to seek help from a licensed counselor. In fact, taking care of this issue is crucial. The relationship counseling questions provided by the counselor could make you feel awkward to talk about or perhaps awkward for the other person to hear. Even so, ignoring them won't make them go away.
What does trust look like in your relationship?
Trust comes in many forms and is difficult for some people to give up. It can also be broken very easily, and the task of rebuilding it can be painstaking.
For instance, if one partner has been unfaithful in the past, the trust may have assumed to be gained back, but, in reality, it was not. Knowing if and when your partner trusts you (and vice versa) or finding that trust has been broken can be enlightening for couples. A marital therapist can help couples to find ways to forgive and regain confidence in the relationship.
Trust can also have to do with reliability. The ability to trust your partner’s word that they will do certain things as they’ve said is an important aspect of trust.
What does communication look like in your relationship?
Many couples do not even realize that they have lost their ability to communicate with their spouse. Other couples may have resorted to yelling or have engaged in negative communication. If you and your partner are finding it difficult to communicate, a counselor may be able to help give you both tools and give suggestions on how to regain healthy communication.
This problem can manifest in many different ways and unfortunate irony; it can sometimes seem like it takes the skills learned in therapy to get both partners to agree to attend counseling in the first place. It may take multiple attempts at having the conversation before the conversation takes place, and that’s completely fine. One of the most important things to remember is that you do not want the suggestion to see a marital counselor come off as a threat.
Talking in a positive light about all kinds of therapy and communication, self-improving activities such as yoga or meditation, and other things peripherally related to seeing a marriage therapist can help reduce the potential negative knee-jerk reaction to the suggestion.
What are the significant issues in the relationship?
Although you may find that trust is the biggest issue, your partner may find that not having enough free time to spend with you is deteriorating the relationship. There may be more than one issue or many issues that are related. While talking about these issues may be helpful, you may find that speaking to a counselor would help figure out how to resolve these issues.
This again can seem like it wouldn’t need to be directly discussed. Still, it’s in our nature to see the world from an egocentric perspective (not to be confused with egotistical), and what can seem like it should be evident to our partner could be something they have never even thought of before. You could wager a bet that no relationship in history has been without at least one partner saying the phrase, “I’m not a mind reader!” in an exasperated attempt to please the other person. This is a hyperbolic statement, but the point that stands that it is difficult to be acutely aware of which of our thoughts and feelings are understood by our partner and how those thoughts and feelings are perceived.
Working Through Issues
Answering these questions with your spouse or partner will undoubtedly give some clarity as to the necessity of receiving marital counseling. If you and your spouse struggle to answer any of these questions, a qualified counselor can potentially provide a comfortable setting where both partners can feel safe. If your partner is hesitant or resistant to counseling, suggest that they meet one on one with the counselor before they engage in partners counseling. This can help loosen the stronghold around their negative ideas of what counseling is and what it means to be seeing a therapist.
There are several helpful resources for couples, including online counseling that would ask them couple therapy questions. Partners can choose from a wide variety of counselors and choose to engage in counseling when it best fits their schedules. Don’t hesitate to seek help if you feel that your relationship could benefit from counseling.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What should a marriage counselor not say?
A marriage counselor should never say anything discriminatory toward their clients. This is unlikely to happen, but if it does, you must report it.
What are good marriage questions?
Here are some good marriage questions that can help you reflect on and enhance your relationship:
- What do I love about my spouse?
- What do I admire about my spouse?
- What’s a little something extra I can do to enhance my partner’s day and make them smile?
Suppose you choose to see a marriage and family therapist, relationship therapist, or couples counselor to work on your marriage. In that case, you might also be wondering what marriage counseling questions to ask a new counselor. If you are seeking a new counselor for family therapy, marriage counseling, pre-marital counseling, or any other type of therapy, you may ask questions such as, “what are your credentials?” to ensure that you are seeing someone for family therapy, marriage counseling, or any other type of counseling or therapy that is qualified to provide care. Once you’ve picked a provider and are engaged in the counseling process, whether you see someone for family therapy, marriage counseling, or any other type of counseling, the questions you ask your provider will be more specific to your particular situation and needs. Common marriage counseling questions couples ask include, “how can we improve the communication in our relationship?” and “how can I better support my spouse when they are struggling? “no marriage counseling questions are too basic, too silly, or too out there. A marriage counselor should always be willing to answer any marriage counseling questions you have. When you pursue couples therapy, remember that part of the job of your marriage counselor or marriage, and family therapist is to answer marriage counseling questions, so don’t hold back.
Can you do marriage counseling alone?
Marriage counseling, marriage therapy, and couples counseling are all conducted with you, your spouse or partner, and a therapist. While you can’t engage in therapy forms like marriage counseling or marriage therapy, family therapy, and couples counseling on your own, you can go to individual counseling to talk about marriage, relationships, and family concerns. Additionally, it’s common for a marriage and family therapist to see individuals as well as couples.
What are good questions to ask a married couple?
A married person or married couple might ask themselves these questions:
- Do I know my partner’s love languages?/Do my partner, and I know each other’s love languages?
- When’s the last time we stepped outside of our daily routine? If we haven’t, what’s something different we can try soon?
- Are there any places we’d like to visit together?
- Are there any new activities we’d like to try together?
- Are there any new restaurants, parks, museums, or landmarks nearby that would be fun to go to together?
- What can we do to make some new memories together?
- How often do we have date nights?
Answering these questions can help you reflect on your relationship and give you ideas about increasing the affection and excitement in your partnership.
What are some deep questions to ask?
Deep questions are a great way to increase closeness or maintain closeness in a relationship. Here are some deep questions to ask your spouse or partner:
- What topics would you say that you’ve been thinking about the most lately?
- What have been some of the most profound learning experiences in your life?
- Do you believe in regrets?
- Do you have any regrets?
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?
- If you could tell your childhood self anything, what would it be?
In couples therapy or counseling, couples can work on various concerns, such as increasing the level of closeness to one another they feel.
How well do you know your husband’s wife’s questions?
Here are some “how well do you know your spouse?” questions:
- What do they love to do the most?
- What are their primary love languages?
- What’s their idea of a great night out?
- What’s their idea of a great night in?
- What are some small joys that make their day?
- What chores do they dislike that I can do to make things easier for them?
- What are some of their favorite meals?
- Is there anything they enjoy doing that they haven’t gotten to do for a while? How can we plan to make sure that they get to do that thing soon?
- Are there any places they’d like to travel to in the future?
- What are their main goals and dreams right now?
Answering these questions can help you see how much you know about your spouse and, if there are things on this list that you don’t know, they can help you learn new things about your partner. Marriage work doesn’t just happen inside the office of a marriage and family therapist or a marriage counselor that you see for couples therapy or marriage therapy. In addition to marriage therapy, it’s important to work on your marriage at home. If you are having trouble in your marriage, couples therapy with a marriage and family therapist or a similar provider can help. A marriage and family therapist you see for marriage therapy can help you increase communication, affection, and understanding within your relationship. A marriage counselor can also help you figure out activities or other techniques to utilize outside of marriage therapy to improve, enhance, and nurture your relationship.
To find a provider for couples therapy, family therapy, couples counseling, pre-marital counseling, or another form of therapy, there are a variety of routes you can take. One option is to conduct an online search using terms such as “family therapy near me,” “premarital counseling couples counseling,” “counseling couples near me,” “premarital counseling couples therapy near me,” and so on. To find family therapy, couples counseling, or individual therapy, you may also consider using an online directory or check out resources for family therapy, couples counseling, and other forms of therapy in your area. Another option is online counseling. Online counseling websites like ReGain offer couples counseling, marriage therapy, and individual therapy.
What do you talk about during marriage counseling?
How do I prepare for a marriage counseling session?
What not to say during couples counseling?
Will a marriage counselor suggest separation?
What are the odds of marriage counseling working?