Finding Premarital Counseling Near Me

By Stephanie Kirby

Updated June 03, 2019

Source: acc.af.mil

Anyone that is getting married should be looking at any way they can improve their relationship and set themselves up for success in their marriage. You want to make sure you and your partner are going to be happy together, right? No one wants to be unhappy in their marriage, and that's why you may have been doing some searches like 'finding premarital counseling near me.' Well, you're in luck, because there are plenty of ways to go about doing just that.

Finding Premarital Counseling Near Me

The great news is that you don't even need to worry about whether the premarital counseling you're looking at is near you. That's because it's available anywhere. You can simply get online and start searching for a therapist that will talk to you completely online. Wouldn't that be great? Wouldn't it be great if you could just go online and talk to someone from anywhere that you happen to be? Well, that's possible because you can check out Regain and find out more about online therapy programs. You'll be able to connect with someone that's anywhere in the country while you're at it.

With this, you'll have more options for counseling that you attend because you'll be able to check out different types of counseling, different courses, and different counselors as well. There's no reason for you to be tied to any specific location because of the many options that the internet is opening up for you. With ReGain and with other programs as well, it's entirely possible that you can reach out to someone that lives and works entirely across the country if they're the ones that you feel more comfortable with.

What Is The Purpose Of Premarital Counseling

Despite what you may think, getting premarital counseling does not mean that your relationship is in trouble. The purpose of the counseling is actually to help you avoid problems down the road. A therapist is going to help you discuss areas that many couples end up arguing about in marriage. The goal of premarital counseling is to help you work through some of these issues, along with learning important skills such as proper communication skills so that you can have a good marriage from the start.

Some of the things that you will discuss during premarital counseling include:

Finances

Money and the way that it is handled is one of the most common things that couples argue about. Coming up with a plan before getting married can help to put you both on the same page before tying the knot. This includes decided who is going to handle what part of the finances along with working on a budget that you both agree with.

Communication

Learning communication skills is crucial to having a good marriage. You need to be able to work through disagreements appropriately. When you have good communication in a marriage, it allows you to make it through problems that others decide to split up about.

Marriage Roles, Children, And Parenting

Before getting married, you want to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page with your roles within the marriage. This includes deciding who is going to be responsible for what responsibilities. It also includes talking about what your future wishes are for having children and what parenting styles you want to use.

In-laws

It's important that you discuss how you are going to continue relationships with your extended family after you are married. What are your plans for the holidays going to be? What are you going to do to cut the cord and make sure that your parents and extended family are giving you the space you need in your marriage? Your relationship with your parents should change once you have a spouse.

Expectations

One of the reasons couples end up unhappy in their relationship is because they have unrealistic expectations. When you take the time to think through and discuss what your expectations are, then you will be one step ahead. This will help you to realize what you are looking for and what your future spouse is expecting. You can address any areas that do not match or that either of you don't agree with.

Affection, Intimacy, And Sex

This is an area of marriage that many people don't communicate about. They don't realize that it's something that needs to be discussed. Since there are a lot of expectations that are in the area of intimacy and sex, it's important that you can have open communication about it.

Decision Making

Premarital counseling helps you to think through how you will handle decision making when you're married. Up until this point, you have probably been used to making all the decisions that concerned you on your own. But, as soon as you are married, you have to shift to making decisions together. When you discuss these situations beforehand, it will help you both to decide what kinds of decisions you are both comfortable with the other making on their own and what ones you need to make together.

Any Problem Areas

If you have already hit some stumbling blocks in your relationship, you can discuss these areas in your counseling. Even areas that you think have been resolved might need to be touched on if you only glossed over the solution.

It can help you learn to identify why that problem happened in the first place and what you need to change to avoid repeating it in the future.

What To Say

Source: defense.gov

So, just what should you be saying when it comes to your therapy? If you go to therapy, you can't just sit back and listen and expect to make changes. You also can't get too defensive and expect anything to happen. Instead, you need to make sure that you're going to open up and be honest with your therapist and with your partner. That's how you're going to move forward, after all. So the first thing that you need to know to say is the truth. Be completely honest about everything you think and feel.

Next, you need to say the facts. Talk about the actual specifics of just what happened in specific situations. Try to focus on facts only to start with because that's going to help you establish just what was happening and make sure that your partner understands what event you're talking about. After you've figured out all of the facts, then you should get into more of the details and the things that you want them to understand the experience. After all, you're going to make the changes in your relationship based on those feelings and thoughts.

This is where you're going to open up about the feelings you have about those events. Talk about what it made you feel like when your partner did or said certain things. Talk about whether you want certain things to change or what would make you feel more important in this relationship. You want to feel like you matter and like your partner cares about you, which can take a bit of work if they don't realize they're doing something wrong. So try to tell them what you're thinking in certain situations, so they get a better understanding.

Source: osan.af.mil

Finally, you need to say anything. You need to be willing to sit back and listen while your partner talks about the things that are important to them. They aren't the only ones who are going to have to make changes. You're also going to need to be willing to make changes. If you're not then, it's going to be entirely one-sided how you fix things, and that's not something you're going to want. In the long run, it's only going to cause you more problems, so be willing to sit back and listen to whatever your partner wants or needs in the relationship as well.

Follow The Instructions

Remember, if you and your partner could get through all of this on your own you wouldn't need a therapist in the first place, but chances are you've already tried that, and it didn't work. Either you were too nervous or uncertain about sharing your thoughts and feelings, or you weren't able to make the changes you wanted to for whatever reason. When you start talking to a therapist, you want to make sure you're doing what they tell you to do. Not everything will work, but you'll never know if you don't at least give it a chance.

When your therapist gives you instructions, they're even going to tell you that it may not work or it may have varying degrees of success. The important thing is that you at least give it a fair shot. Talk with your partner about what your therapist suggests. Give it a try at least a few times before you say that it doesn't work and then be open and honest with each other about why you think it doesn't work for you as well as being open and honest with your therapist about it.

You may find that things that seemed silly or like they would never help are very successful for the two of you and that's the most important thing, right? You want to set yourself up for success and improve in areas where you may otherwise be having some trouble. It takes a little bit of effort, but it's going to be a way to make sure your marriage is off to a great start. That's the important part of a premarital counseling process, right? It's all about making sure you're starting yourself off in the right way and making sure that you have all the tools you'll need to work toward success.


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