Does your relationship seem less satisfying than it once was? Maybe you are communicating less, arguing more, spending less time together, or even avoiding one another?
Relationships can be complicated, and for many people, just because they hit a rough patch, it does not mean they want to end things. There may still be love and an investment of time spent together that the couple wants to maintain. Having children and other shared endeavors can also make couples want to salvage the relationship.
One way to salvage a troubled relationship is with Couples Counseling. Some people mistakenly believe Couples Counseling is just a last-ditch effort to save a relationship that is otherwise on the brink of divorce. However, Couples Counseling can be used by any couple to improve any relationship. Learn more about all the reasons a couple may want to seek help through Couples Counseling:
Many relationships see problems when the couple has stopped communicating. This could mean that the two partners are not talking, or it could mean they talk, but there are many things they do not discuss. This might be considered talking, not necessarily communicating. When communication is poor, it can be hard to work on the relationship and improve the situation.
In Couples Counseling, a trained therapist can help you to improve your communication. They do this in a few ways. For one, they can teach couples new communication skills through activities. Also, they help couples communicate during the counseling sessions. This may allow couples to talk through previously undiscussed issues. It also lets couples practice new communication skills they can then use at home.
When You Communicate, But It Is Not Good
Another problem that can send couples to Couples Counseling is when they communicate, but it is not good. This could be more than just not discussing certain issues. It could also be saying hurtful things to another. Engaging in this type of communication will lead one or both partners to feel bad, and eventually, they may want to stop communicating to avoid those problems. In the worst cases, these negative communication patterns could become emotionally abusive, which is particularly unhealthy.
If your communication has become negative and hurtful, Couples Counseling is highly recommended. One or both partners may also benefit from Individual Counseling in this situation. This individualized counseling can help one or both partners work past anger and help one or both partners heal from the pain of the unhealthy communication. In Couples Counseling, the partners can receive education and mediation to learn healthier ways to express themselves.
When You Are Afraid To Communicate
Sometimes in a relationship, one or both partners are blocked by communication, afraid to discuss certain matters. If those matters are not discussed, there is no way to improve or resolve them. Often, couples avoid problems related to money, physical intimacy, and giving each other feedback on the things they are annoyed by about their partner.
Couples Counseling provides a neutral space, with a trained counselor who can mediate those difficult conversations. This can help each partner discuss more openly any issues they have been holding back on. It can allow the couple to become clearer about the issues they need to work together to deal with. This can make it easier for couples to have even difficult conversations outside of therapy too.
Healthy relationships typically have affection expressed through words and physical intimacy. When relationships experience problems, often couples stop being affectionate. It can be both a symptom of the problem, and it can contribute to more problems as each partner may feel emotionally neglected. If left unaddressed, a lack of affection can fester, leading to hurt feelings or resentment. In the worst cases, one partner may seemingly withhold affection to punish the other partner.
When a relationship lacks affection, a Couple’s Counseling can help the partners to address that problem. A couple’s therapist will ask questions to get a couple thinking about what may have caused the lack of affection. As they find the core problems, the couples counselor can help the couple move past them. The couple may also be asked to identify the ways they prefer to give and receive affection. They may be asked to engage in certain activities outside of the session to increase displays of affection.
When Couples Feel Like Enemies
When relationships contain a lot of arguing, couples can start to see one another as the enemy. The relationship may have a dynamic of each partner trying to be the winner of the next argument. This is an unhealthy dynamic that will be detrimental to the long-term health and success of the relationship. It is much better if couples see each other as partners, working on the same side towards common goals.
A couples counselor can help partners work through the issues that have put them on opposite sides. As the couple works through their issues, each partner may be better able to compromise, and they can stop seeing each other as enemies. Soon, they can feel like they are working together to promote the relationship’s success and their joint lives together.
When There Has Been Infidelity
Certainly, when one or both partners have engaged in infidelity, that is why they seek Couples Counseling. Often, thinking about or having an affair may sign that there was already something wrong in the relationship. Frequently, the partner who looked outside the relationship for an affair was already feeling a lack of affection, emotionally neglected, or hurt in some other way.
It is best to seek Couples Counseling to improve the relationship before getting to the point of having an affair. If infidelity has occurred, Couples Counseling may help the couple work through salvage and repair the relationship. Alternatively, if the couple determines it is best to do so, the counseling can help the couple bring an end to the relationship and plan to move on.
When There Are Differences In Values
Couples sometimes realize that they have major differences in values that could make it difficult to be together during the relationship. Those value differences can relate to many different things, such as religious views or beliefs about treating money. Sometimes couples will not even realize they have a difference in these values until something happens to make the difference obvious.
When a couple faces differences in values, discussions can become contentious. It can be hard for both parties as neither wants to compromise their values, but they also need to find some way to maintain the relationship. A couple’s counselor can help both parties discuss their views in a neutral space. With that process, they may be able to find a way to make their values meet.
When You Are Living Separate Lives
Over time, some couples grow apart. This can especially happen after years of marriage as both partners are busy with work and daily life tasks. Having children can also change the dynamic as they can become more focused on being parents than being a couple. Eventually, a couple can feel like roommates, co-existing in the same shared space with little romance or intimacy.
When a couple realizes they have been living separate lives, it can be hard to bring things back together. This is when Couples Counseling can be helpful. A couple can use the support of couples therapy to talk about where they are at and where they want to be with the relationship. The counseling process can help them rebuild their communication, intimacy, and emotional connection.
When The Couple Has Experienced A Loss
Sometimes couples can face unexpected circumstances such as infertility, pregnancy loss, or the death of a child. Those times can be very difficult for each partner, for the couple, and the relationship. While some couples may get closer to the circumstances, others may move apart as they experience the loss and react differently.
Couples Counseling is an excellent resource for couples that have experienced some loss or other significant life changes. The couples counselor can help the parties process what has happened both alone and as a couple. This can help the couple experience the situation together, even if their immediate reactions may be different. It can help to maintain and even strengthen the relationship.
When A Couple Does Not Know How To Fix It Themselves
Couples Counseling is a good idea whenever a couple faces problems and feels at a loss for fixing the situation themselves. Couples counselors can use their expertise to help couples sort through their problems. This often involves talking and listening; sometimes, it also involves learning skills to better communicate with one another in the future. Couples Counselors can be found in many locations. Some people also choose to get counseling through online platforms, which can be more convenient.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Can Couples Counseling Really Work?
Yes! Research shows that couples counseling has a high success rate, and finding a therapist can help couples with various concerns. To ensure that you find the best therapist for you, you may consider the type of therapy you want and look for a counselor who can help you address your specific concerns. For example, you might be looking for a specific modality, such as emotionally focused therapy. If you and your partner are members of the LGBTQIA+ community, you may look for an LGBTQIA+ therapist. Don’t be afraid to ask counseling psychologists, therapists, and counselors you’re considering questions to determine if they are a good therapist for you or not. If you see a therapist and are not the best therapist for you, any good therapist will understand. They’re trained to deal with this and can likely give you a referral to someone else or give you options to find other counseling psychologists, therapists, or counselors. In therapy, couples can talk about whatever is on their mind or anything that impacts their relationship.
Does Insurance Pay For Couples Counseling?
Some insurance plans do not cover couples counseling like they cover individual therapy. Contact your specific insurance plan to see what type of therapy they cover. If it turns out that your insurance plan does not cover couples counseling or relationship therapy, you don’t need to give up on finding the relationship therapy you need. There are various ways to cover therapy, including using your employee assistance program, seeing a couples therapist who offers sliding scale rates, finding a therapist through a religious institution, such as your church, or finding the best therapist for you on an online counseling website. There are many benefits to online therapy, including the fact that it’s often more affordable than in-person counseling is in the absence of insurance. Online therapy websites like ReGain provide access to counseling psychologists, therapists, and counselors who are licensed to practice in your area and provide the high-quality therapy couples need.
Do Unmarried Couples Go To Counseling?
Yes. Like married couples who go to couples counseling or relationship therapy, an unmarried couple may seek couples counseling or relationship therapy for various concerns. Unmarried couples may go to counseling psychologists, therapists, or counselors for premarital counseling or other concerns that impact couples. There are many reasons people seek therapy, including concerns regarding communication, parenting, intimacy, sex, etc. Note that if you’re seeking counseling for issues regarding sex specifically, it’d likely benefit you to search for sex therapy. A sex therapist conducts sex therapy, and it is advantageous whether it’s conducted in an individual therapy setting or a couples counseling setting. All therapy types, including sex therapy and couples counseling, are nothing to be ashamed of exploring. No matter your relationship status, don’t be afraid to reach out and find a therapist. With the rise of celebrity couples talking about couples counseling, it’s becoming more normalized to hear about people seeing counseling psychologists, therapists, or counselors. In addition to celebrity couples talking about couples counseling, many celebrities have also spoken out about individual counseling. Individual counseling is a great fit if you want to talk about interpersonal relationships, mental health, stressors such as work or school, grief, and any other concerns in your life.
What Is The success Rate Of Couples Therapy?
The success rate of couples therapy is most certainly impressive. For example, emotionally focused therapy, or EFT, has a 70 to 75% success rate. Emotionally focused therapy is a common form of therapy used for couples, alongside other therapeutic modalities such as the Gottman Method.
Can Couples Therapy Make Things Worse?
Couples counseling or therapy should never make things worse. If you have a couples therapist that is unhelpful, unethical, or who makes you feel as though things are getting worse due to therapy for any other reason, it is vital to find another couples therapist. There are many counseling psychologists, therapists, and counselors out there, and it’s important to remember that any counseling psychologists, therapists, or counselors you see are people who work for you. You can find a therapist by searching the web for “couples counseling near me,” “counseling psychologists couples therapy near me,” or another similar phrase, asking for a recommendation, using an online directory, or by using an online therapy website like ReGain for your couples counseling needs. If your therapist isn’t a good fit, online counseling makes it easy to switch. Whether you see a provider in person or online, you deserve to see the best therapist for you.