DIY Marriage Counseling: Can It Work As Well As The Real Thing

Updated March 24, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

From trouble problem-solving to issues with communication, there are many reasons why couples may consider seeking help through counseling. While receiving guidance from a licensed couples therapist is generally recommended, continuously expanding access to virtual counseling resources has made headway for the option of a do-it-yourself (DIY) type approach to couples counseling.

DIY marriage counseling allows couples to navigate the complexities of their relationships together, rather than with the guidance of a licensed therapist. In this article, we will explore a number of DIY marriage counseling exercises, potential benefits, and its effectiveness compared to traditional marriage and couples counseling. 

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DIY marriage counseling not working?

What is DIY marriage counseling

DIY marriage counseling refers to the practice of couples attempting to address and resolve their relationship issues without the direct involvement of a professional therapist or counselor. There are a number of reasons a couple may elect to try DIY marriage counseling rather than traditional counseling.

As these self-guided practices employ the use of free or low-cost resources, such as books, online courses, podcasts, and worksheets, in some cases, the DIY approach offers a flexible and more cost-effective alternative to counseling led by a licensed therapist. 

When electing to attempt DIY marriage counseling, it is generally crucial that both partners show a willingness to listen, learn, and participate. In many cases, a couple seeking counseling may be actively experiencing issues with communication, highlighting one of DIY marriage counseling’s larger pitfalls.

Due to the lack of unbiased observation and guidance from a professional, couples practicing DIY marriage counseling may find it difficult to create a judgment-free space to communicate openly. 

Still, couples seeking a cost-effective option, or simply a place to get started with marriage counseling have the new-age advantage of countless online resources available to explore.

DIY marriage counseling techniques

While there is a plethora of information available online regarding marriage advice and DIY couples counseling techniques, it can be helpful to research numerous options to find what works best for you and your partner. 

It is important to note that a lack of guidance from a licensed professional will likely create a greater need for trial and error. This is to say, couples will likely find it necessary to try a number of techniques and activities to find what is or is not effective. 

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Some DIY marriage counseling techniques may include:

1. Communication exercises

Set aside designated time with each other to engage in communication exercises such as active listening or verbal expressions of gratitude. You may want to try setting a 3-5 minute timer to allow each partner uninterrupted time to share.

2. Journaling exercises

Maintain separate personal journals where each partner is able to express their thoughts and feelings. Journaling typically encourages self-reflection which often helps to facilitate more open dialogue during communication exercises, or even traditional therapy sessions.

3. Books and assessments

There is a wide variety of books and assessments specifically tailored to improving relationships. Many of these books feature questionnaires designed to assess the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship. Similar assessments may be found online as well. Choosing a book or assessment will typically depend on the specific issues you and your partner are looking to resolve. 

4. Online resources and courses

There are a plethora of online couples counseling resources, including blogs, videos, podcasts, and webinars. A number of online therapy platforms offer medically reviewed articles regarding a variety of mental health topics. 

5. Weekly check-ins and date nights: 

Scheduling regular time together often promotes ongoing communication and connection. Setting aside dedicated times each week to have structured conversations and quality time together typically fosters a sense of trust and openness.

6. Online support groups and forums

Joining online communities or forums where couples facing similar challenges come together to share experiences, seek advice, and provide support. These platforms may offer an opportunity to learn a variety of DIY marriage counseling techniques that have worked for others. 

DIY marriage counseling not working?

Does DIY marriage counseling work

While DIY marriage counseling can be beneficial, it's important to recognize its limitations. While there are a number of potential benefits that may arise from taking a DIY approach to marriage counseling, seeking professional help from a licensed therapist is advisable. 

In many cases, couples choose to attempt DIY counseling due to its cost-effectiveness. While DIY marriage counseling may be more cost-effective in the short term, in many cases, participating in traditional therapy will prove to be more valuable overall.

According to research, couples therapy positively impacts around 70% of those who participate, often leading to a healthier and more fulfilling relationship overall, and with the expansion of online therapy providers, starting couples or marriage counseling is easier and more affordable than ever. 

Along with accessibility, effectiveness and affordability, research has shown that online marriage counseling is equally as effective as in-person marriage counseling

Takeaway

Though there are a number of benefits couples may gain through practicing DIY marriage counseling, online counseling will likely offer greater benefits for a generally reasonable cost. Online couples therapy offers convenience, flexibility, and the opportunity for partners to embark on a transformative journey towards healthier, happier, more fulfilling partnerships under the guidance of a licensed professional.

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