How Do You Know If Someone Likes You Back? Nine Ways To Tell The Attraction Is Mutual

Updated March 29, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Having a “crush” on someone can be exciting. You may feel the adrenaline in your body (also known as butterflies) when they’re near; you may look for reasons to be around them, and you’re probably attentively looking for clues that they like you back. Whether your attraction is mutual will likely influence when you put your feelings out in the open and take the next steps toward establishing a relationship with that person. 

The following are ways that you may be able to tell if the person you like likes you back:

They make eye contact

It can be difficult to read others’ signals

Because someone makes eye contact with you isn’t necessarily a guarantee that they’re interested in you-- but studies have found that we tend to make more frequent eye contact with people we are interested in. This doesn't mean we should stare at them until we make them uncomfortable. It simply means that it might be a sign of attraction if your eyes meet and linger on a regular basis.  

They lean in while you talk

Another way to tell that someone may be interested in you is if they get closer to you as you're talking. They may enter your personal space by sitting next to you, turning towards you, or leaning in while you're talking. These are all indicators that someone may have feelings for you.

They laugh at your jokes

Humor and laughter can play an essential role in relationships. Research suggests that women tend to laugh easier at the humor of someone they’re attracted to. And men tend to want to find a woman that thinks they're funny and will laugh at their jokes. If you find that when you're with this other person, you're both laughing a lot together, and they seem to pick up on your jokes (even if they're not that funny), it could be a sign that they're interested in you.

They remember little things that you said

Not only will they remember the details of things you’ve said, but they may act on them. For example, you may have said that you like a certain kind of candy bar, and then one day, they'll bring it to you. Or, you may have mentioned your plans for the weekend, and the next time you see them, they remember that and ask you about how it went. If someone takes an increased interest in you, it's a good indication that they have feelings for you.

They engage in conversation and try to find out more about you

If someone is interested in you, they will want to learn all they can about you. They want to engage you in conversation and ask you lots of questions to find out information about you. If they are unsure of your feelings, they may try to hint around and ask questions to find out if you're single or not. If you find that you're in a group of people, that person will likely find a way to engage you directly in conversation.

They make sensitive physical contact

The amount of touching or lack of touching between the two of you can indicate their feelings for you. People tend to want to touch the people that they're interested in. This isn’t referring to inappropriate touching. For example, they may lightly touch your arm as you talk or place their hand on the small of your back as you walk.

They tease you jokingly

If someone is interested in you, they may tease and joke with you. This could be a way to flirt and let you know they're interested. They may make a joke about you or tease you a little bit, but not in a way that hurts your feelings or makes you feel uncomfortable. 

If someone isn't interested in you, they’re less likely to take the time to establish little inside jokes with you. If you’re constantly joking around with each other and seem to have a connection that other people don't “get,” there may be a mutual attraction. Sometimes this can be as simple as a look you can give each other when talking. 

They seem to perk up when you enter the room

Just as you feel excited to see them, if your crush is interested in you, it will brighten their day when you are present. That means you may notice their spirits lift as you walk into a room. This could be that a smile comes across their face, their eyes light up, or their posture is raised. And, chances are, if they're interested in you, they will pay attention to where you are. They may hope you will enter the room and they are happy when you do.

They try to impress you

If you feel that the other person is trying to impress you, it can signify that they're interested in you. This can look a lot of different ways. For example, they may want to get competitive about something you’re both interested in. Not to brag but to establish a lighthearted connection and show you that they are a worthy partner. They may act this way because they want you to be impressed with them and, subsequently, want to be with them.

It can be difficult to read others’ signals

Discuss your relationship with an online therapist

If you have strong feelings for someone or an attraction to them and want to know if they feel the same way you do, you can look for the signs mentioned above. But if you want a sure-fire answer, the best thing you can do is be upfront and direct with them. This may mean asking them out or simply conversing to see where they stand. 

Be sure to go about this carefully so you don't make them uncomfortable or scare them off. It is possible to misread someone's behavior and think they are interested when not. 

Being attracted to someone who doesn't share your feelings can hurt, and it isn’t always easy to process your emotions and figure out how to move forward. If you find yourself in this situation, support from friends and loved ones can help, but it can also be awkward or difficult, depending on the situation. The people nearest to you may also show bias and may not be the best people to help you examine your feelings. 

Talking to a counselor is an excellent alternative or supplemental option. A therapist specializing in intimacy and relationships can work with you individually to help you process the complicated feelings associated with unrequited affection. A good therapist will also help you to cultivate healthy self-esteem, so you’ll feel confident in pursuing other possibilities for romance.

Many people believe you must struggle with mental health challenges such as anxiety, depression, trauma, etc., to talk to a counselor. Another misconception is that the only way to get help on relationships from a therapist is if you're already in one. But counseling is for anyone experiencing emotional difficulties who need help putting them into perspective so they may move forward productively. 

With the rise in popularity of online platforms such as Regain, it’s easier than ever to get matched with a professional with experience helping people navigate relationships and the dating world. You can speak with a therapist online at a time that fits your schedule from the comfort of home via phone, text, online messaging, and video chat. Online treatment is often less expensive than traditional therapy without insurance and is just as effective as conventional therapy.


It isn’t always easy to tell if someone you have a crush on is interested in you, too, particularly if barriers to self-esteem and confidence are holding you back. A Regain counselor can help you find the self-confidence to talk to your romantic interests and pursue healthy relationships. 

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