How To Sexually Attract Men: 5 Tips For Making Yourself Irresistible

By ReGain Editorial Team|Updated May 12, 2022
CheckedMedically Reviewed By Lauren Guilbeault, LMHC

The sexual attraction is an interesting feeling that may sometimes be difficult to predict or understand. Sometimes, there’s instant chemistry, a physical attraction to another person, without you knowing much or anything at all about them. Other times, there is a bit of a pre-existing relationship where sexual attraction begins to develop.

Attraction is often considered an important element in romantic relationships, although experts in psychology still consider it a complicated topic.

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Try to keep in mind that assumptions about what people will find attractive often include broad generalizations, and classic conceptions of sexual attractiveness are frequently based on sexist, heteronormative, or simply outdated ideas. The following article presents one perspective on what some preferences of a majority of people might look for, but it is by no means exhaustive.

Attraction is a funny thing, and often the things you might not think you find physically attractive become so when you have an emotional connection. Every person’s preferences are different, and while generalizing based on gender or sexual orientation can seem easy, it is by no means foolproof or inclusive of everyone it could be.

The how and why of getting attracted to people may differ, and even the simplest or the craziest things can be attracted based on the person’s personality, gender preferences, or physical appeal.

For instance, in a study conducted at the University of New South Wales in which 177 heterosexual men and 351 heterosexual women stare at pictures of 10 men who either have a clean-shaven face, light stubble, heavy stubble, or full beards. The women rated the images of the men with heavy as the most attractive.

One theory of physical attraction stems from anthropological theories of hunter and gatherer roles. Studies in psychology suggest that there may be a connection between taking risks and being attractive and that risk-taking enhances men’s sex appeal.

There are two classifications of risks:

Hunter-gatherer risks are capable of causing potential physical harm, and modern risks do not necessarily cause harm (e.g., driving without seat belts).

Examples of Hunter-gatherer risks include mountain biking, skateboarding, rock climbing, swimming in the ocean, training, playing with dangerous animals, etc. Evolutionarily speaking, men may subconsciously correlate risky behavior with seeming attractive to a mate.

One’s outward appearance may represent a way to signal that you would be a good mate without taking crazy risks. In modern times, grooming habits, style and wardrobe choice, and physical enhancements like makeup, plastic surgery, or implants may represent these outward indicators.

Throughout human history, sometimes men or women have been peacocks in society. In today’s Western world, capitalism has women convinced that they need expensive potions and lotions to attract a man, drawing from this evolutionary concept that your appearance can signal health, wealth, and fertility or virility to a potential mate.

While there is only so much you can do to change your looks, there are several ways through which you can attempt to make yourself more appealing to other people to attract romantic attention.

Heterosexual couples may have been subject to pop culture telling them there is a clear prescription of what men versus women all like. While we know this is not true and that every person can find something different attractive and sexual orientation is typically experienced as more of a spectrum than a dichotomy, let’s think about some possible generalizations of attractiveness in men and women.

The question of how to attract men, whether a specific one or generally, could be a big topic for women. When meeting with a guy for the first time, most women are always very conscious about their looks. If you are comfortable in your skin, perhaps because you’re wearing something that makes you think you look good, your confidence and honesty could attract your man.

Working on your body language, poise, mannerisms, and even your dress sense are very effective ways to boost your sex appeal. This doesn’t mean you necessarily have to overhaul your looks by dying your hair, getting a spray tan, or embarking on a fad diet. When you feel good about yourself and secure in your own identity, you may attract put-together men similarly.

Is there a surefire way to sexually attract men and make them find you irresistible? Is there a way to make yourself more appealing to men in a world full of competition if that’s what you want?

Be Open To Experiences While You Are Out

Whether you’re out alone or in a group, safety is the number one priority for anyone, no matter their gender identity.

If you do feel comfortable in a situation, try considering your vibe. This intangible quality could be anything from your body posture to facial expression, the difference between someone approaching you or avoiding you. If that is not your intention, putting out a “stay away from me vibe” if that is not your intention may scare people off. If someone you like approaches you, try to appear friendly and don’t let your nervousness appear like disinterest.

Go out, try new things, and meet new people. It is unlikely that Whomever Charming will break into your house while watching television, so if you are trying to attract others, go out and practice. There’s nothing more attractive than someone truly enjoying themselves, especially if they want to include others.

Your Eyes Are Your Secret Weapon

So they say, “eyes are the window to your soul,” and we agree! Your eyes can be used to tell a man everything you’re feeling; no verbal communication is required. When speaking to a man you’re sexually attracted to, while it may feel more natural to shy away and nervously avoid eye contact, do the opposite. When you’re speaking to him and listening to what he has to say, smile and look directly into his eyes, raise an eyebrow (playfully), change your expressions a bit, have fun with your eyes. Give him looks of intensity, wink at him, even.

Use the universal signals of flirtation– communicate what you have going on in your mind through your eyes. Make eye contact, express interest in what the other person is saying, and indicate with small touches that you are romantically interested if you are comfortable. Someone will likely be more attracted to someone new who is attracted to them, even if an “objectively” prettier person is standing nearby if she is not interacting with him. It will come naturally to you with time, and you can then practice it with men you find attractive.

If you happen to be interested in a man that you’re not yet speaking to, you can use your eyes to get his attention. Try to capture his gaze and give him an intense, smoldering look while smiling to show interest. If he’s also interested, he might make his way over and strike up a conversation.

Psychologist Art Aron was interested in learning about the power of eye contact. He gathered dozens of men and women together at a lab at NYU. These people had never met previously. He paired them up and asked them to stare at each other, eye to eye, for two minutes. No words were exchanged between the couples.

Once the two minutes were up, most of the participants reported feeling attracted to their test partner. One couple even ended up getting married the following year.

Your eyes can say quite a bit, so use them in your war of seduction.

Pay Attention To Body Language

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Your body language says a lot about how you’re feeling. Sometimes, you’re giving off signals completely subconsciously that may be turning men away. Be aware of your body language and use it to your advantage. If your arms are crossed or if you’re turned away from the person you’re attracted to, they may feel like you’re not interested and become discouraged.

When speaking to a man you’re sexually attracted to, use open body language. Lean into the conversation. Keep your arms open and inviting. If you’re interested, show him that you’re willing to break personal space barriers by touching his arm, shoulder, or thigh. He’ll feel more comfortable getting closer to you when you show him it’s okay.

Show him your fun and flirty side with your body language. Smile and be playful to show that you have an easygoing side. This will make a man more comfortable when making his advances.

When it comes to an understanding what attracts men, the primary thing to reference is evolutionary psychology. We may have come a far way from the days of the caveman, but even with our progress, much remains the same. We are still animals at our core, and attracting the other sex still works in an animalistic way, though it is masked in more mystery these days.

If you’re interested in learning more about the mysterious and exciting world of dating or would like to find some more information on how to go about attracting the opposite sex or if you find yourself frequently experiencing relationship problems or issues with self-esteem, visit or ReGain, where trained therapists and relationship counselors or online resources may help.

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