How To Sexually Attract Men: 5 Tips For Making Yourself Irresistible

Updated November 16, 2022by ReGain Editorial Team

The sexual attraction is an interesting feeling that may sometimes be difficult to predict or understand. Sometimes, there’s instant chemistry, a physical attraction to another person, without you knowing much or anything at all about them. Other times, there is a bit of a pre-existing relationship where sexual attraction begins to develop.

Desire is often considered an important element in romantic relationships, although experts in psychology still consider it a complicated topic. To learn more about what you feel attracted to, or get help navigating relationships, try online therapy.

Do You Have Questions About Sexuality?

It's hard to have a direct answer for the question, "What makes a man attractive?" or "What makes a woman attractive?" The following article presents one perspective on what some preferences of a majority of people might look for, but it is by no means exhaustive.

Desire is a funny thing, and often the things you might not think you find physically attractive become so when you have an emotional connection. Every person’s preferences are different, and while generalizing based on gender or sexual orientation can seem easy, it is by no means foolproof or inclusive for everyone it could be. That's not how the psychology of attraction works.

The how and why of getting people's attention may differ, and even the simplest or the craziest things can be interested based on the person’s personality, gender preferences, or physical appeal.

For instance, in a study conducted at the University of New South Wales in which 177 heterosexual men and 351 heterosexual women stared at pictures of 10 men who either had a clean-shaven face, light stubble, heavy stubble, or full beards. The women rated the images of the men with heavy as the most alluring.

One theory of physical desire stems from anthropological theories of hunter and gatherer roles. Studies in psychology suggest that there may be a connection between taking risks and being alluring and that risk-taking enhances men’s sex appeal.

There are two classifications of risks:

Hunter-gatherer risks are capable of causing potential physical harm, and modern risks do not necessarily cause harm (e.g., driving without seat belts).

Examples of Hunter-gatherer risks include mountain biking, skateboarding, rock climbing, swimming in the ocean, training, playing with dangerous animals, etc. Evolutionarily speaking, men may subconsciously correlate risky behavior with seeming alluring to a mate.

One’s outward appearance may represent a way to signal that you would be a good mate without taking crazy risks. In modern times, grooming habits, style and wardrobe choice, and physical enhancements like makeup, plastic surgery, or implants may represent these outward indicators.

Throughout human history, sometimes men or women have been peacocks in society. In today’s Western world, capitalism has women convinced that they need expensive potions and lotions to attract a man, drawing from this evolutionary concept that your appearance can signal health, wealth, and fertility or virility to a potential mate.

While there is only so much a man or woman can do to change your looks, there are several ways through which you can attempt to make yourself more appealing to other people to attract romantic attention, including when you talk to the person of interest.

Heterosexual couples may have been subject to pop culture telling them there is a clear prescription of what men versus women all like. While we know this is not true and that every man or woman can find something different beautiful and sexual orientation is typically experienced as more of a spectrum than a dichotomy, let’s think about some possible generalizations of allure in most men and women.

The question of how to attract men, whether a specific one or generally, could be a big topic for women. When learning about how to attract a man, you will find all forms of advice. When meeting with a cute guy for the first time, most women are always very conscious of their looks. If you are comfortable in your own skin, perhaps because you’re wearing something that makes you think you look good, your confidence and honesty could attract your man, and it can make the conversation easier for you.

Working on your body language, eye contact, poise, mannerisms, and even your dress sense are very effective ways to boost your sex appeal, which is what makes a woman sexually attractive. This doesn’t mean you necessarily have to overhaul your looks for a guy by dying your hair, getting a spray tan, or embarking on a fad diet. 

Here are some commonly asked questions about this subject:

What do you find physically attractive in a man?

How do you attract a man and make him want you?

What draws a man to a woman?

What do guys find attractive?

How can I attract a guy without talking to him?

How make him crazy about you?

What words Make a man Fall in Love?

What is the first thing that attracts a man?

What attracts a man to a woman long term?

What a man needs to hear from a woman?

Do guys like quiet girls?

Is there a surefire way to sexually attract men and make them find you irresistible? Is there a way to make yourself more appealing to men in a world full of competition if that’s what you want?

Be Open To Experiences While You Are Out

Whether you’re out alone or in a group, safety is the number one priority for anyone, no matter their gender identity.

If you do feel comfortable in a situation, try considering the vibe that you give off to guys. This intangible quality could be anything from your body posture to facial expression, the difference between someone approaching you or avoiding you. If that is not your intention, putting out a “stay away from me vibe” may scare guys off and prevent a possible conversation. If someone you like approaches you and wants to talk, try to smile and appear friendly and don’t let your nervousness appear like disinterest or that you’re afraid of him.

Go out, try new things, change up your hair, dress up and wear clothes that make you feel confident, and meet and talk with new people and make some friends. It is unlikely that Whomever Charming will break into your house while watching television, so if you are trying to attract others’ interest, go out and practice. There’s nothing more gorgeous than someone truly enjoying themselves, especially if they want to include others in these fun things.

Your Eyes Are Your Secret Weapon

So they say, “eyes are the window to your soul,” and we agree! Your eyes can be used to tell a man everything you’re feeling; no verbal communication is required. The eyes is one of the best assets you can use if you're thinking on how to seduce someone effectively. When speaking to a man you’re sexually attracted to, while it may feel more natural to shy away and nervously avoid eye contact with guys you’re having a conversation with, do the opposite in order to appear more confident.

When you’re speaking to the guy and listening to what he has to say, smile and look directly into his eyes, raise an eyebrow (playfully), change your expressions a bit, and have fun with your eyes. Give him looks of intensity, wink at him, even. Any dating coach will place emphasis on using good body language to show confidence, like sustained eye contact and having a positive attitude. Men love that!

Use the universal signals of flirtation– communicate to the guy what you have going on in your mind through your eyes. Make eye contact, express interest in what the other person is saying, and while you talk or listen, indicate with small touches that you are romantically interested if you are comfortable. A lot of guys will likely be more interested in someone new who is interested in them, even if an “objectively” prettier person is standing nearby if she is not interacting with him. Smart women will take advantage of this, and it will come naturally to you with time, and you can then have fun and practice it with men you find attractive and, hopefully, find the right guy for you and your life.

If you happen to be interested in a man that you’re not yet speaking to, don’t be afraid to use your eyes and smile to get his attention and attempt to talk to him. If you’re trying to learn how to attract a man, attempt to capture his gaze and give him an intense, smoldering look while smiling to show interest in having a conversation with him. If the guy is also interested, he might make his way over and strike up a conversation too.

Psychologist Art Aron was interested in learning about the power of eye contact. He gathered dozens of men and women together at a lab at NYU. These people had never met previously. He paired them up and asked them to stare at each other, eye to eye, for two minutes. No words were exchanged between the couples.

Once the two minutes were up, most of the participants reported feeling desire toward their test partner. One couple even ended up getting married the following year.

Whether it’s a quick glance or a conversation, your eyes can say quite a bit, so use them in your war of seduction.

Pay Attention To Body Language

Do You Have Questions About Sexuality?

Your body language says a lot about how you’re feeling to anyone, not just guys. Sometimes, you’re subconsciously giving off signals that may be turning men away. Be aware of your body language and use it to your advantage. If your arms are crossed or if you’re turned away from the person you’re interested in, a lot of guys may feel like you’re not interested and become discouraged with the conversation.

When speaking to a man you’re sexually interested in, any dating coach will tell you to use open body language and demonstrate confidence. Lean into the conversation while talking and listening closely. Keep your arms open and inviting. If you’re interested, show your guy that you’re not afraid and willing to break some personal space barriers by touching his arm, shoulder, or thigh. He’ll feel that you’re becoming more than friends and will be more comfortable getting closer to you when you show him it’s okay through light touch and a warm smile.

Show the guy in your life right now your fun and flirty sidfe and your confident and positive personality with your body language. Make it a point to smile and be playful to show that you have an easygoing side and that you’re in a good mood. Always present your best self! This will make a man less afraid to make his advances, such as touch your hair.  If he feels comfortable, he will reciprocate.

However, not all men find physical advances appealing, particularly if you’re just meeting; if he doesn’t seem comfortable with yours, use common sense and back off. Instead, just continue to talk and try to bring back some positive energy and have a friendly conversation with him.

When it comes to an understanding of what attracts men, the primary thing to reference is evolutionary psychology. We may have come a far way from the days of the caveman, but even with our progress, much remains the same. Regardless of guys and ladies, we are still animals at our core, and attracting the other sex still works in an animalistic way, though it is masked in more mystery these days.

If you’re interested in learning more about the mysterious and exciting world of dating or would like to find some more information on attracting the opposite sex, or if you find yourself frequently experiencing relationship problems or issues with self-esteem, visit or ReGain, where you can find relationship advice from a trained therapist, relationship counselor, dating coach, or other online resources that may help.


How do I make myself sexually attractive to guys?
What makes a man sexually attracted to a woman?
How do you attract a man's desire?
How can I look sexually attractive?
How do you attract a guy physically?
What do men find attractive in a woman?
What do men like in a woman?
How do you make him crazy about you?
How do you keep a man interested in you?
What body part do guys notice first?

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