Updated October 22, 2021
Medically Reviewed By: Lauren Guilbeault
The sexual attraction is an interesting feeling that may sometimes be difficult to predict or understand. Sometimes, there's instant chemistry, a physical attraction to another person, without you knowing much or anything at all about them. Other times, there is a bit of a pre-existing relationship where sexual attraction begins to develop.
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Attraction is often considered an important element in romantic relationships, although experts in psychology still consider it a complicated topic.
Try to keep in mind that assumptions about what people will find attractive often include broad generalizations, and classic conceptions of sexual attractiveness are frequently based on sexist, heteronormative, or simply outdated ideas. The following article presents one perspective on what some preferences of a majority of people might look for, but it is by no means exhaustive.
Attraction is a funny thing, and often the things you might not think you find physically attractive become so when you have an emotional connection. Every person's preferences are different, and while generalizing based on gender or sexual orientation can seem easy, it is by no means foolproof or inclusive of everyone it could be.
The how and why of getting attracted to people may differ, and even the simplest or the craziest things can be attracted based on the person's personality, gender preferences, or physical appeal.
For instance, in a study conducted at the University of New South Wales in which 177 heterosexual men and 351 heterosexual women stare at pictures of 10 men who either have a clean-shaven face, light stubble, heavy stubble, or full beards. The women rated the images of the men with heavy as the most attractive.
One theory of physical attraction stems from anthropological theories of hunter and gatherer roles. Studies in psychology suggest that there may be a connection between taking risks and being attractive and that risk-taking enhances men's sex appeal.
There are two classifications of risks:
Hunter-gatherer risks are capable of causing potential physical harm, and modern risks do not necessarily cause harm (e.g., driving without seat belts).
Examples of Hunter-gatherer risks include mountain biking, skateboarding, rock climbing, swimming in the ocean, training, playing with dangerous animals, etc. Evolutionarily speaking, men may subconsciously correlate risky behavior with seeming attractive to a mate.
One's outward appearance may represent a way to signal that you would be a good mate without taking crazy risks. In modern times, grooming habits, style and wardrobe choice, and physical enhancements like makeup, plastic surgery, or implants may represent these outward indicators.
Throughout human history, sometimes men or women have been peacocks in society. In today's Western world, capitalism has women convinced that they need expensive potions and lotions to attract a man, drawing from this evolutionary concept that your appearance can signal health, wealth, and fertility or virility to a potential mate.
While there is only so much you can do to change your looks, there are several ways through which you can attempt to make yourself more appealing to other people to attract romantic attention.
Heterosexual couples may have been subject to pop culture telling them there is a clear prescription of what men versus women all like. While we know this is not true and that every person can find something different attractive and sexual orientation is typically experienced as more of a spectrum than a dichotomy, let's think about some possible generalizations of attractiveness in men and women.
The question of how to attract men, whether a specific one or generally, could be a big topic for women. When meeting with a guy for the first time, most women are always very conscious about their looks. If you are comfortable in your skin, perhaps because you're wearing something that makes you think you look good, your confidence and honesty could attract your man.
Working on your body language, poise, mannerisms, and even your dress sense are very effective ways to boost your sex appeal. This doesn't mean you necessarily have to overhaul your looks by dying your hair, getting a spray tan, or embarking on a fad diet. When you feel good about yourself and secure in your own identity, you may attract put-together men similarly.
Is there a surefire way to sexually attract men and make them find you irresistible? Is there a way to make yourself more appealing to men in a world full of competition if that's what you want?
Be Open To Experiences While You Are Out
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Whether you're out alone or in a group, safety is the number one priority for anyone, no matter their gender identity.
If you do feel comfortable in a situation, try considering your vibe. This intangible quality could be anything from your body posture to facial expression, the difference between someone approaching you or avoiding you. If that is not your intention, putting out a "stay away from me vibe" if that is not your intention may scare people off. If someone you like approaches you, try to appear friendly and don't let your nervousness appear like disinterest.
Go out, try new things, and meet new people. It is unlikely that Whomever Charming will break into your house while watching television, so if you are trying to attract others, go out and practice. There's nothing more attractive than someone truly enjoying themselves, especially if they want to include others.
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Your Eyes Are Your Secret Weapon
So they say, "eyes are the window to your soul," and we agree! Your eyes can be used to tell a man everything you're feeling; no verbal communication is required. When speaking to a man you're sexually attracted to, while it may feel more natural to shy away and nervously avoid eye contact, do the opposite. When you're speaking to him and listening to what he has to say, smile and look directly into his eyes, raise an eyebrow (playfully), change your expressions a bit, have fun with your eyes. Give him looks of intensity, wink at him, even.
Use the universal signals of flirtation- communicate what you have going on in your mind through your eyes. Make eye contact, express interest in what the other person is saying, and indicate with small touches that you are romantically interested if you are comfortable. Someone will likely be more attracted to someone new who is attracted to them, even if an "objectively" prettier person is standing nearby if she is not interacting with him. It will come naturally to you with time, and you can then practice it with men you find attractive.
If you happen to be interested in a man that you're not yet speaking to, you can use your eyes to get his attention. Try to capture his gaze and give him an intense, smoldering look while smiling to show interest. If he's also interested, he might make his way over and strike up a conversation.
Psychologist Art Aron was interested in learning about the power of eye contact. He gathered dozens of men and women together at a lab at NYU. These people had never met previously. He paired them up and asked them to stare at each other, eye to eye, for two minutes. No words were exchanged between the couples.
Once the two minutes were up, most of the participants reported feeling attracted to their test partner. One couple even ended up getting married the following year.
Your eyes can say quite a bit, so use them in your war of seduction.
Pay Attention To Body Language
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Your body language says a lot about how you're feeling. Sometimes, you're giving off signals completely subconsciously that may be turning men away. Be aware of your body language and use it to your advantage. If your arms are crossed or if you're turned away from the person you're attracted to, they may feel like you're not interested and become discouraged.
When speaking to a man you're sexually attracted to, use open body language. Lean into the conversation. Keep your arms open and inviting. If you're interested, show him that you're willing to break personal space barriers by touching his arm, shoulder, or thigh. He'll feel more comfortable getting closer to you when you show him it's okay.
Show him your fun and flirty side with your body language. Smile and be playful to show that you have an easygoing side. This will make a man more comfortable when making his advances.
When it comes to an understanding what attracts men, the primary thing to reference is evolutionary psychology. We may have come a far way from the days of the caveman, but even with our progress, much remains the same. We are still animals at our core, and attracting the other sex still works in an animalistic way, though it is masked in more mystery these days.
If you're interested in learning more about the mysterious and exciting world of dating or would like to find some more information on how to go about attracting the opposite sex or if you find yourself frequently experiencing relationship problems or issues with self-esteem, visit https://www.regain.us/start/ or ReGain, where trained therapists and relationship counselors or online resources may help.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What do guys find physically attractive?
There are endless attractive women in the world, and if you look at them, you’ll see that every single one of them is different. In conjunction with the fact that what men find attractive varies from man to man, this means that there aren’t any real guarantees when it comes to what a particular man will find attractive and that it’s hard to rate the attractiveness of specific features in a way that’s truly universal.
Generally speaking. However, according to research, facial symmetry, the appearance of your teeth, and good posture are all things that men find attractive. It can’t hurt to maintain good posture, and most people want to show up to a date looking and feeling fresh and clean.
Don’t worry too much about your fundamental physical features, though. Instead, put your best foot forward and act confidently, both in your body language and in your vocabulary, to give a good impression.
How can I be more sexually attractive to men?
Although what men find sexually attractive varies substantially, some personality traits are likely to make a man find you highly attractive. Studies show that personality traits, such as a great sense of humor make you more sexually attractive to men and women alike.
Regardless of gender or sexual orientation, a positive personality is also something that many men and women find attractive. Examples of positive personality traits or features of a positive personality include honesty, empathy, compassion, thoughtfulness, reliability, loyalty, and being someone hard-working in nature. Many personality traits that are attractive to women are also attractive to men. Kindness, for example, is attractive to women and men.
Truly, there are always exceptions and what appeals to people differs from person to person. However, some common attributes are generally considered to be attractive:
- The importance of confidence cannot be overemphasized. Even if you cannot outrightly change much of a thing about your physical appearance, an instant upgrade would be to learn to boost your confidence level.
Confidence is powerful; it is easy to get attracted to people who exhibit a healthy confidence level. It also helps you to see yourself differently. This will help you set high standards for yourself and stop settling for just anything and anyone who doesn’t fit into your idea of an ideal mate and eventually help you find the right person who deserves you and with whom you can build a long-term relationship. Professionals in psychology show us that confidence is a very important attractive trait people look out for in a potential partner.
- Independence holds amazing benefits for you if you are looking to improve your attractiveness. Being independent builds attraction to a woman living her best life, doing well in her career, and having things going for her. Having an independent life means that you live life on your terms, you do what makes you happy, and your life is full of activities that you enjoy. A partner should come into your life to enhance that, not to replace it. Fill your life with activities that bring you joy and people you love, and assume that the right person will come along who can fit into that.
- Think about how fun it is to be around someone with a great sense of humor. Laughter and humor are proven components of attraction. There are situations where you meet someone for the first time, but you don’t really think they will be attractive, and then they laugh, and you suddenly notice how appealing they are. Indicate that you find someone funny by outwardly laughing at their jokes if you want them to notice that you find them attractive.
- Physical attractiveness could be mentioned here, although there is no one size fits all approach. Simple efforts, like smiling genuinely, grooming and bathing properly, and taking care of your health are steps most anyone can do.
There is typically no need to go overboard trying to change yourself physically. As revealed in a study published in the Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology, today’s women tend to wear more makeup than men find attractive. When it comes to men’s attraction to women, less is more in most cases.
Dressing and applying makeup for yourself instead of another person is probably the best course of action. You should wear what makes you happy and confident, and if someone doesn’t like it, they probably aren’t the person for you. Living your most authentic life will help you attract the same energy you give out. While making basic efforts like showering or maintaining fitness are good ideas for general health, do what makes you happy regarding your appearance.
How do you tell if a guy is sexually attracted to you?
Often, you will be able to tell that a guy is sexually attracted to you pretty easily. In addition to anything allusive of sexual attraction that he says to you directly, body language is something to pay attention to.
When men find you sexually attractive, they may flirt with you using words. For example, they may comment on physical traits of yours that they happen to find attractive. They may also touch your arm or shoulder. Some people are more direct and will tell you that they are physically, sexually, or aesthetically attracted to you.
Physical attraction is different from sexual attraction, but they often coexist. If it is the case that the man you’re talking to has a more direct approach, he very well may ask to take things further. To have full consent on both sides is integral, so always ask (and make sure that he does, too) before making any overtly sexual comments or moves. You can make it sexy by asking, “can I kiss you?” or “can I put my hand on your leg?” There is no rule about who can make the first move, so if you wonder if a guy is sexually attracted to you, consider not waiting for him to set the pace.
What body shape do guys find most attractive?
The answer to this question is highly individual, as it varies from man to man. Just as heterosexual women are drawn toward different physical features on a man, a heterosexual man will be drawn to various physical features that a woman has.
One’s sexual inclinations will influence the body types one finds attractive. People who are attracted to people of different genders may have different preferences among those genders.
Additionally, while plenty of people are drawn to a woman’s legs or curves, some people have no preferences at all when it comes to body shape. The important thing is that any long-term partner you’re with embraces who you are as a whole person.
What are the prettiest features of a girl?
Facial symmetry, posture, and nice teeth are features that have been scientifically proven as more attractive. Healthy hair or a great smile could also appear on this list. If there is a particular feature of yours that you want to draw attention to, do it. Embrace the things that you like about yourself and personally believe are pretty or aesthetically appealing. Part of humanity’s beauty is that we’re all unique, so play up your own most desirable traits. The chances are that if you find them pretty or attractive, others will, too.
What do men want in a woman?
Many studies have been conducted about what men find attractive in women, both in terms of a woman’s personality traits and physical features. Features that men find attractive in women might include physical features such as their facial features and personality traits such as a sense of humor.
Ultimately, what a man will want in a woman depends on the ideal life partner. Maybe, he wants someone who shares the same family values, or it could be that he wants someone adventurous. Get to know the man you like so that you can determine if it’s a good fit. When you’re first getting to know someone, you might even ask what they’re looking for and what they want to achieve in life overall. That way, you can gauge what they want in a woman and what they want when it comes to the rest of their lives. If what you’re looking for is a long-term partner, you want to make sure that he, as a whole person, is attractive to you, too.
What attracts a man to a woman first?
This will vary based on both people involved in the interaction. Many men claim that eyes are the first thing they notice or facial appeal in general. If you’re worried about making a good first impression, other things to keep in mind are personal hygiene, body language, and your ability to show courtesy to others. You might’ve heard the statement, “pay attention to how a person treats the waiter.” This adage refers to the fact that, when you’re on a date or out on another adventure with a person you’re interested in, you must pay attention to how they treat others. Doing this will give you some insight into who they are as a person deep down. Consequently, this is something that people will pay attention to when it comes to their attraction to you. To make a good impression, unleash the best version of yourself and use the tips in this article above.
What physical features do guys find attractive?
It may seem as though guys are easy to please. However, what works for someone may not work for the other. According to Business Insider, when a man checks a woman out, he’s performing a reproductive fitness assessment. So, even in speed dating, men notice features based on their preference.
There are some non-sexual physical features that you may be surprised to learn men find attractive. Although there is the belief that your mindset can attract you to people, many men report finding these physical features, although not necessarily at the expense of mental or emotional attributes, attractive:
- Healthy Hair. A full, shiny, long, and healthy hair is quite attractive. A 2008 survey reported that women with dark strands were rated more than women with blonde hair. With hair, to attract men, it’s easy. When you style your hair neatly, it attracts men too.
- Smile. According to a study from the University of Tennessee, smiling makes people feel happier, while scowling makes them feel angrier. Happy people tend to be more attractive.
- Legs. Good legs are often relative to sexual attractiveness, making heads turn (as with supermodels). Sometimes, it tells how healthy you are. Ultimately, the way you walk too could attract men.
- Wear red. Everything about red screams attention. It is reported that this phenomenon holds for animals too. When you wear red, you attract men, as it tends to enhance attraction.
- Eyes. Without the eyes, there’s probably no attraction since men are drawn to what they see. When people look into the eyes, it could sometimes be a form of non-verbal communication. Therefore, your eyes could attract the man.
- Overall grooming and poise. How people groom themselves and their posture is shown to be a point of attraction. The study goes further to report it as evidence of good health. To attract a mate, how you carry yourself is vital.
Pop culture can make it seem like men are only attracted to physical features, but this is ultimately unfair. Generalizing about men and superficiality may seem harmless, but this is just one of the many ways toxic masculinity hurts men, too. A sparkling personality and matching souls can make any physical feature (or lack thereof) attractive for the right person.
How can I attract a guy instantly?
Be kind. Kindness is one of the most desired traits in potential partners, and it could readily attract men, as evidenced in the study by David M.Buss at the University of Texas. The research found that this trait is linked to cooperative disposition and can boost social alliances. Moreover, being kind to human beings sparks an interest, thus positively boosting your love life.
Smell nice. Smelling nice is not essentially about wearing strong perfumes. You could consider sticking to something nice and feminine. Femininity tends to attract men more. While this goes obviously with being neat, overdoing it may be repulsive. When you smell amazing, you can attract a man instantly that he wants to spend more time in your company. However, consider moderation.
Maintain eye contact. Eye contact is one of the powerful ways to attract a man. It works even when you meet new people. Through your eyes, you can make a man feel dozens of emotions. Making eye contact is a show of confidence, a value that many men find attractive.
Smile. A smile is a quick way to attract men. It is one way your outward appearance can reflect who you are as a person or how you’re feeling.
Your body language (vibe and energy). When you’re energetic and charismatic, you can’t help but attract men and draw people to yourself. Being friendly and open and flirty when you want to be can draw people to your energy. Everyone wants to be around the person who is confident and having a blast.
Which body part attracts guys most?
First of all, people are more than just the sum of their parts. Someone’s interior life, mind, emotions, personality, etc., is likely to be the most important and attractive thing about them. Someone who is living their truth is going to attract the right people into their life.
While body parts are not as important as what’s on the inside, some research does indicate trends in what is attractive. A survey by Women’s magazine of 6,000 men showed that 38% noticed the face first, 34% said it was the butt, 18% went for the chest. While 10% said, legs drive their desire in a woman. A similar survey in women shows that attraction is a key factor, and women on beaches spend time checking out abs first, followed by the face and arms.
What are the seven signs of beauty?
The signs of beauty in a lot of people are common indices of measuring physical beauty. Beauty, they say, is in the eyes of the beholder, and every person will have a different idea of what is beautiful to them.
Research carried out by the physical sciences department at the University of Kent identified several attractive facial features in men and women. The research says almond-shaped eyes, slim noses, full lips, smooth chins, brown hair, heart-shaped faces, and tanned skin are features that attract men to women based on facial features.
Aside from the mentioned, the research includes other traits that guys reported as attractive in women:
Activeness; the report states that active people combine education, career, passion with benevolence. Active people tend to be less attention-seeking and are perceived to be full of ideas. In addition to this, through their physicality, you’ll discover some areas of interest.
Dimples on the cheek; a dimple is a small indentation of the cheek that tends to give you physical attractiveness.
What are the prettiest features of a girl?
Women like to receive compliments. A simple “you have a pretty face” could change the mood or tell them that you’re simply showing interest. Of course, facial attractiveness is estimable with words, and it’s no surprise that attracting someone varies from person to person. The prettiest features on anyone will depend on who is looking and how she is using them; for example, beautiful lips that say cruel words may not seem so pretty anymore.
Scientifically speaking, these are some features men reported to find attractive on women:
Babyface. A study found that baby-like features attract men because they voted “large eyes, small nose, and small chin” as most attractive. Furthermore, Caroline Keating, a non-verbal communication expert, describes “big eyes, long lashes, arched brows, plump lips, round face, and cute little nose” as features on a supermodel or a baby.
Although what attracts a mate is not solely about actions or appearance, it can be a mix of both. There is confirmation that individuals with baby faces reveal trust, cooperation, and warmth.
Symmetry. Facial symmetry has a lot to do with attracting a partner, but scientists were unsure of the correlation. However, there is proof that not all asymmetry cases are related to health, at least in adolescence. Following this is another perspective known as the “perceptual bias,” suggesting that symmetrical faces are easier for the brain to process. However, symmetric faces could attract men, but the theory has been questioned, especially regarding potential partners.
Healthy looking skin. Healthy-looking skin is reported to make a woman more attractive. It’s in the eyes since speed dating often entails combined technological effects on certain websites. Hence, this may apply to both genders.
A smiling face and nice teeth. Smiling is a hack to attract others without stress. A study by Match Group says: the things on top of people’s priority on a first date are teeth; the same could be true for speed dating. Of 5,500 people, 60% of men claimed that they care about teeth.
The thickness of hair. The health of your hair shows vitality and youth. Healthy hair could attract men, and it’s associated with fertility, beauty, and femininity. Besides, it is something many women put lots of effort into and a feature that men tend to notice easily.
