How To Sexually Attract Men: 5 Tips For Making Yourself Irresistible

Updated September 10, 2020

Medically Reviewed By: Lauren Guilbeault

Sexual attraction is an interesting feeling that may sometimes be difficult to predict or understand. Sometimes, there's instant chemistry, a physical attraction to another person, without you knowing much or anything at all about them. Other times, there is a bit of a pre-existing relationship where sexual attraction begins to develop.


Romantic attraction is a very important element in men and women relationships, although experts in psychology today still consider it a complicated topic. The how and why of getting attracted to people may differ for men and women, and even the simplest or the craziest things can be an element of attraction to women and men alike. For instance, in a study conducted at the University of New South Wales, where researcher had 177 heterosexual men and 351 heterosexual women stare at pictures of 10 men who were either clean-shaven, light stubble, heavy stubble, or on full beards. The women rated the images of the heavy stubble men as the most attractive.

Also, there’s the hunter gatherer risks concept of attraction. Studies in the field of psychology today suggest that there may be a revolutionary connection between taking risks and being attractive, and that risk taking enhances men’s sex appeal. There are two classifications of risks- Hunter gatherer risks which are capable of causing potential physical harm, and modern risks which do not necessarily cause harm (e.g, driving without seat belts). Examples of Hunter gatherer risks include- mountain biking, skateboarding, rock climbing, swimming in the ocean, training or playing with dangerous animals, etc. Men believe – and rightfully so- that any risk that can inflict potential physical harm actually means attraction to women.

Many women spend a significant amount of time trying to impress the opposite sex, grab their attention, and hope a guy will find her attractive. Women go through a rigorous grooming routine, plucking eyebrows, shaving or waxing just about every part of their body with hair, dyeing, cutting, and styling their hair, and then, of course, there's the issue of their personal style and wardrobe choices.

Whilst there is only so much you can do to change your looks, there are a number of ways through which you can instantly increase how attracted people will be to you whenever they come in contact with you. In considering attraction, what applies to male and female differs. The question of how to attract men- maybe one they already like, or men in general- is always a big topic for women. When meeting with a guy for the first time, most women are always very conscious about their looks. They take plenty of time looking through their closet selecting the best cloth, what shoe to wear, how to style their hair, and so on. Although these are some of the things a man may notice, it goes beyond just these. Clearly, every man is attracted to different qualities in a woman, and so it is important to make sure you up your game as a lady. A woman who has successfully mastered the art of being irresistible to men is one who is amazingly attractive and is almost too tempting to resist.  Men would always find themselves falling for her; even if it isn’t rational, they’ll just want her. When a woman knows she is irresistible and attractive, this is a great confidence booster and men feel a great deal of attraction to women who are confident.

There are lots of things that make men attracted to women, studies show that working on your body language, poise, mannerism, actions and even your dress sense are very effective ways to boost your sexual appeal. This doesn’t mean you necessarily have to overhaul your looks by dying your hair, getting spray tan, or embarking on a fad diet. Psychology today, through scientifically proven methods proves that you can make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex whilst still embracing who you are. Whether you are looking to building a short term relationship or you want a long term one that would lead to forever, it all begins with attraction. Work on your looks to become more appealing. Now, this isn’t just talking about wearing excessive makeup or seductive clothes, there are a lot of qualities that men find attractive in a lady which go beyond the natural.

A lot of what women do is based around what men may find attractive. Most of the time, it seems like a complete shot in the dark. Is there a surefire way to sexually attract men and make them find you irresistible? In a world full of competition, is there a way to make yourself more appealing to men than the other women around you?

Readjust Your Thinking

Before we get into discussing some ways to make yourself more sexually appealing to the opposite sex, let's take a moment to restructure out outlook. We are fortunate enough to live in a time where female empowerment dominates, where strong, independent women are praised and looked up to. We no longer rely on the man to do everything for us, and we are go-getters.

While this is a truly powerful and modern way of thinking, when it comes to attracting a man, it may be helpful to try a different approach. This is not to say that you should put yourself down, but being a little less 'strong' will help make you less intimidating. Even though men are supposed to be the stronger sex, they do have feelings, and they are fearful of rejection.

It may be difficult for powerhouse women to readjust their way of thinking when it pertains to dating and attraction, but it will go a long way towards the bottom line.

Men Are More Sexually Attracted To Vulnerability

This may not come off sounding great, but men tend to be more sexually attracted to women they can exploit. This is not always intentional; some do this subconsciously. When women display any attributes that make them appear vulnerable (youth, immaturity, intoxication), men tend to find them more attractive and are more motivated to pursue them. Simply asking for their help or playing the role of the stereotypical damsel in distress will gain more of a man's attention. They enjoy feeling necessary. Men like the notion that because of whatever vulnerability, the woman will be easier to go after sexually.

According to a study by Goetz et. all, women who are perceived as intelligent or shy were perceived as less exploitable, and so, less attractive for short term relationships, though they were rated highly in terms of long-term relationships. What this shows us is that men enjoy the idea of being able to be in control be empowered, and have a woman in a position to bend to his will. Sexual attraction for the man is all about what he can get out of the experience. Vulnerability is sexy and enticing, while also giving them an advantage, making it an easier conquest, so to speak. If you're interested in gaining the sexual attention of a man, let go of your inhibitions a bit, loosen up, and give off an easygoing, vulnerable personality.

Go Out Alone


Every person must spend time with themselves and become comfortable with their own company. You're a great person. You should get to know yourself. Once you are comfortable and confident in going out to a bar or club alone, this can really help you attract a man.

We cannot stress this enough, even though many men give off this independent and 'couldn't care less' attitude, they are still vulnerable, even if they may hide it well. Women make the common mistake of going out in groups. This can be intimidating for some men. It's more difficult to approach a woman with a posse of spectators. There's not only the possibility of rejection, but an audience to watch the entire thing happen!

Additionally, if you're out with a group of your gal friends, you're creating your own competition. You're surrounding yourself with other beautiful options, giving men way more than you to focus on. It's a double-edged sword.

To make things easier for men, go out alone. It will be easier for you to get men's attention, you'll be more approachable, and being alone does inherently give off a sense of vulnerability, which they will thrive on. Men are more likely to go after the woman sitting at the end of the bar alone than the woman sitting in a group laughing and having a good time. He's always looking for opportunities to save the day, be the hero, and come to your lonely rescue.

Accentuate Your Womanly Features


If you're looking for a guy to find you sexually desirable, the first thing he's going to notice about you is your physical appearance. This isn't necessarily to say wear a short-fitted dress and nice make-up. What a man finds physically attractive goes much further than this.

Physical attraction plays a major role in sexual attraction and chemistry. Evolutionarily, men are looking at more than just your chest and booty, even if it's completely subconscious. Men look for curves. Curves show men signs of fertility and health, both of which are signs of a good partner (a strong candidate for producing offspring). Even if you guys aren't looking for something that serious, the male brain is still naturally wired to desire a strong potential for having the most children to carry on his line. Consider wearing clothing that shows off your figure and accentuates your clothing. Appear youthful, but still adult. When he notices these defining features, he'll be instantly more sexually attracted.

Your Eyes Are Your Secret Weapon

So they say "eyes are the window to your soul," and we agree! Your eyes can be used to tell a man everything you're feeling, no verbal communication required. When speaking to a man that you're sexually attracted to, while it may feel more natural to shy away and nervously avoid eye contact, do the opposite. When you're speaking to him and listening to what he has to say, smile and look directly into his eyes, raise an eyebrow (playfully), change your expressions a bit, have fun with your eyes. Give him looks of intensity, wink at him, even.

Best-selling author, Helen E. Fisher shared at Psychology Today that women around the world express interest with a remarkably similar sequence of expressions. As a lady, make use of the universal signals of flirtation- communicate through your eyes what you have going on in your mind. Learn to maintain eye contact with your object of desire. This communicates a great level of confidence to people around you and is a very potent weapon of attraction. A shy woman will always avoid eye contact or at most, steal glances only from afar and this could be a major turn off for men. On the other hand, a confident woman will look a man straight in the eye whilst also having put on a smile. This helps you to catch the attention of that man and makes you appealing and attractive to him. If making eye contact is difficult for you, you can work on getting better at it. Practice maintaining unbreaking eye contact with your friends, your colleagues at work, your family members or whenever you are conversing with someone. With time, it will come naturally to you and you can then practice it with men you find attractive.

If you happen to be interested in a man that you're not yet speaking to, you can use your eyes to get his attention. Try to capture his gaze and give him an intense, smoldering look while smiling to show interest. If he's also interested, he'll surely make his way over and strike up a conversation.

Psychologist Art Aron was interested in learning about the power of eye contact. He gathered dozens of men and women together at a lab at NYU. These people had never met previously. He paired them up and asked them to stare at each other, eye to eye, for two minutes. No words were exchanged between the couples.

Once the two minutes were up, a majority of the participants reported feeling attracted to their test partner. One couple even ended up getting married the following year.

Your eyes can say quite a bit, so use them in your war of seduction. Men love women with intense, sexy eyes. Spend some time practicing your best gazes in the mirror to get a feel for what looks best on you!

Pay Attention To Body Language


Your body language says a lot about how you're feeling. Sometimes, you're giving off signals completely subconsciously that may be turning men away. Be aware of your body language and use it to your advantage. If your arms are crossed or if you're turned away from the person you're attracted to, they may feel like you're not interested and become discouraged.

When speaking to a man, you're sexually attracted to, use open body language. Lean into the conversation. Keep your arms open and inviting. If you're interested, show him that you're willing to break personal space barriers by touching his arm, shoulder, or thigh. He'll feel more comfortable getting closer to you when you show him it's okay.

Show him your fun and flirty side with your body language. Men find hair flips sexy and seductive. If your hair is down, give it a good flip or twirl your hair with your fingers. These are signs men are usually more receptive to that show your interest in them. Smile and be playful to show that you have an easygoing side. This will make a man more comfortable when making his advances.

When it comes to an understanding of what attracts men, the primary thing to reference is evolutionary psychology. We may have come a far way from the days of the caveman, but even with our progress, much remains the same. We are still animals at our core, and attracting the other sex still works in an animalistic way, though it is masked in more mystery these days.

Focus on making yourself seem vulnerable and easy to approach. You'll never get anywhere if a man is too intimidated to make a move in the first place. Allow him to feel strong and dominant, which will give him further confidence. Be sure to accentuate your femininity. You can do this by showing off your curves, smiling, or even by twirling your hair. The more feminine and fertile you seem, the more a man's brain will tell him that you're attractive. Use open and inviting body language. Even if you're hitting it off, closed-off body language can cause mixed signals that turn him off.

If you're interested in learning more about the mysterious and exciting world of dating or would like to find some more information on how to go about attracting the opposite sex, visit, where you'll be able to find source material that demystifies the enigma that is a man.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What do guys find physically attractive?

There are endless attractive women in the world, and if you look at them, you'll see that every single one of them is different. In conjunction with the fact that what men find attractive varies from man to man, this means that there aren't any real guarantees when it comes to what a particular man will find attractive and that it's hard to rate the attractiveness of specific features in a way that's truly universal. Generally speaking, however, facial symmetry, the appearance of your teeth, and good posture are all things that men find attractive, according to research. It can't hurt to maintain good posture, and most people want to show up to a date looking and feeling fresh and clean. Don't worry too much about your fundamental physical features, though. Instead, put your best foot forward and act confidently, both in your body language and in your verbiage, to give a good impression.

How can I be more sexually attractive to men?

Although what men find sexually attractive varies substantially, there are some personality traits that are likely to make a man find you highly attractive. Studies show that personality traits, such as a great sense of humor, make you more sexually attractive to men and women alike. Regardless of gender or sexual orientation, a positive personality is also something that many men and women find attractive. Examples of positive personality traits or features of a positive personality include honesty, empathy, compassion, thoughtfulness, reliability, loyalty, and being someone who is hard-working in nature. Many personality traits that are attractive to women are also attractive to men. Kindness, for example, is attractive to women and men.

Whether they are looking for a long term relationship or a short term arrangement, women always want to make sure they have their attraction game up at all times. There may have been situations where you have seen or heard of a woman who isn’t particularly gorgeous or seductive but somehow always has men frolicking around her or constantly hitting on her, and we are not talking about just any men. You may find yourself wondering what this kind of women are doing that makes them so irresistible and appealing, and almost effortlessly so. Truly, there are always exceptions and what appeals to people differ from person to person, however, there are some common and universally proven things that can make a lady more attractive to a man, some of which are:

  • The importance of confidence in attracting men cannot be overemphasized- it works all the time, and there is an excellent secret to that. Even if you cannot outrightly change much of a thing about your physical appearance, an instant upgrade would be to learn to boost your personal confidence level- this delivers amazing results all the time. Confidence is powerful; it is easy to get attracted to people who exhibit a healthy level of confidence. Apart from the fact that it makes men see you differently and makes you appeal to them effortlessly, it also helps you to see yourself differently. This will help you to set high standards for yourself and to stop settling for just anything and anyone who doesn’t fit into your idea of an ideal mate, and eventually help you find the right guy who deserves you and with whom you can build a long term relationship. Professionals in the field of psychology today through numerous studies show us that confidence is a very important attractive trait people look out for in a potential partner.
  • Just like being confident, independence holds amazing benefits for you if you are looking to improving your attractiveness. Being independent builds men’s attraction to women- men love a woman who is living her best life, is doing well in her career and has things going for her. Truly, men like to be chase women, however, if you are too available, this takes the thrill of the hunt away. When a woman is less available, she becomes more appealing. Having an independent life means that you live life on your terms, you do what makes you happy, and your life is full of activities that you enjoy. A man should come into your life to enhance that, not to replace it. Fill your life with activities that bring you joy and people that you love. And you won’t have to give it all up when you meet a man because your independence will be one of the things that endears him to you.
  • Great sense of humor. Laughter and humor are proven components of attraction. According to a study published by psychology today, good sense of humor is great source of attraction to women and men alike. Men want women who thinks they are funny and easily laughs at their jokes, likewise, women prefer a man who can easily make them laugh. There are situations where you meet someone for the first time but you didn’t really think they will attractive, and then they laugh and you suddenly notice how appealing they are. If you find a guy funny, make sure to communicate it to him by giving him a chuckle.
  • Physical attractiveness. A man will not approach you if he doesn’t find you attractive physically. Wear clothes that fit your body well and accentuates your body features. Have a great sense of combining colors to compliment your looks at all time. Always have a beautiful and genuine smile on- an authentic smile from the eyes is always a turn on, while a fake “oh hi” smile is a turn off. Having a smile on every time makes you look happy and this makes you seem less intimidating and more open to being approached. Look clean and sharp, look fresh, and smell good- you don’t want people avoiding close contact with you because of body odor. A good but moderate use of makeup goes a long way in accentuating your level of appeal to the opposite sex. A lot of things fuel men’s attraction to women, and note that every man has different preferences when it comes to makeup, although most men like it when a woman puts in effort to do makeup that enhances how she already looks and not just piling up makeup on their face. You’ll need to do it with caution. As revealed in a study published in the Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology, today’s women tend to wear more makeup than men actually find attractive. When it comes to men’s attraction to women, less is more in most cases. Women generally think men find a certain amount of makeup attractive, and so they end up applying way too much than men actually like, and this can wade them off.

How do you tell if a guy is sexually attracted to you?

Often, you will be able to tell that a guy is sexually attracted to you pretty easily. In addition to anything allusive of sexual attraction that he says to you directly, body language is something to pay attention to. When men find you sexually attractive, they may flirt with you using words. For example, they may comment on physical traits of yours that they happen to find attractive in women. They may also touch your arm or shoulder. Some people are more direct and will let you know that they are either physically, sexually, or aesthetically attracted to you. Physical attraction is different from sexual attraction, but they often coexist. If it is the case that the man you're talking to has a more direct approach, he very well may ask to take things further. To have full consent on both sides is integral, so always ask (and make sure that he does, too), before making any overtly sexual comments or moves. You can make it sexy by asking, "can I kiss you?" or "can I put my hand on your leg?" Statistically speaking, many guys find it appealing when a woman makes the first move, so don't be afraid to do so. 

What body shape do guys find most attractive?

The answer to this question is highly individual, as it varies from man to man. Just as heterosexual women are drawn toward different physical features on a man, a heterosexual man will be drawn to various physical features that a woman has. Think about the way things go when you're talking about attractive potential partners with your friends. Some women are more attracted to certain aesthetic features than others, and the same is true for men. The chances are that, although there might be some consistency, your preferences are at least a little bit different. It is not just cliché to say men are moved by what they see, it is an absolute truth. Men have their preferred body shape and this drives their attraction to women they come across with. According to findings gathered from the journal Evolution and human behavior, some men find women with low waist-to-hip body shape (i.e., hour glass figure) attractive because they consider it a reliable sign that the woman is physically and sexually matured enough- and they are probably quite young and haven’t been pregnant before. Funny, right? For some, however, they like their women fleshy.

Additionally, while plenty of people are drawn to a woman's legs or curves, some people have no preferences at all when it comes to body shape. The important thing is that any long term partner you're with embraces who you are as a whole person. 

What are the prettiest features on a girl?

Again, facial symmetry, posture, and nice teeth are all things that men have been scientifically proven to find attractive. Other characteristics that men pay attention to that could be a girl's prettiest features include their hair and a great smile. If there is a particular feature of yours that you want to draw attention to, do it. Embrace the things that you like about yourself and personally believe are pretty or aesthetically appealing. Perhaps, you want to draw attention to your eyes with mascara, or you want to wear a necklace and a low cut top to show your neckline, for example. You might play up your smile by wearing lip products and making sure to grin every so often when you look at the person you're interested in. Part of humanity's beauty is that we're all unique, so play up your own most desirable traits. The chances are that if you find them pretty or attractive, he will, too.

What do men want in a woman?

Many studies of psychology today have been conducted with regard to what men find attractive in women, both in terms of a woman's personality traits and physical features. Features that men find attractive in women might include physical features such as their facial features and personality traits such as a sense of humor. Ultimately, what a man will want in a woman depends on who the ideal life partner is for him. Maybe, he wants someone who shares the same family values, or it could be that he wants someone adventurous. Get to know the man you like so that you can determine if it's a good fit. When you're first getting to know someone, you might even ask what they're looking for and what they want to achieve in life overall. That way, you can gauge not only what they want in a woman, but what they want when it comes to the rest of their life. If what you’re looking for is a long term partner, you want to make sure that he, as a whole person, is attractive to you, too.

What attracts a man to a woman first?

Interestingly enough, eyes are what a man notices when he first looks at a woman 70% of the time, so although it may vary, there's a good chance that your eyes will be the first thing to attract a man if you are a woman. If you're worried about making a good first impression, some other things to keep in mind are personal hygiene, body language, and your ability to show courtesy to others. You might've heard the statement, "pay attention to how a person treats the waiter." This adage refers to the fact that, when you're on a date or out on another adventure with a person you're interested in, you must pay attention to how they treat others. Doing this will give you some insight into who they are as a person deep down. Consequently, this is something that people will pay attention to when it comes to their attraction to you. Although it might not be the first thing they notice the way your eyes, walk, or smile will be, it will be part of what makes a lasting first impression if this is your initial encounter with someone. To make a good impression, unleash the best version of yourself and use the tips in this article above to make yourself irresistible to the guy of your dreams. 

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