What Makes A Man Attractive?

Updated May 21, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Attraction can be a very important factor in dating and relationships. When someone is looking for a partner, they are often looking for someone who sparks some sort of desire to go deeper and forge a more powerful connection. But the guidelines for attraction are varied and diverse, and there is no one set of characteristics that everyone finds concretely attractive. So, what is it, exactly, that makes a man attractive? In this article, we’ll explore more about different types of attraction and some common areas that people consider when it comes to attraction.

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What is attraction?

Attraction can involve feeling positively towards someone and feeling drawn to them in some way. This might mean seeing a person you find very physically attractive and feeling drawn to them sexually, or it might mean talking to someone and experiencing a powerful pull toward the ideas, energy, and thoughts they offer. There are several different types of attraction, including romantic attraction, sexual attraction, emotional attraction, intellectual attraction, aesthetic attraction, and sensual attraction. 

We’ll explore a few of these in more detail. Sexual attraction often gets the most attention, and it can often be very obvious: it’s sexual attraction that can make people see someone else and yearn for some form of sexual contact with them. Intellectual attraction is attraction marked by someone's ideas, attitudes, and mental abilities. With this form of attraction, you might be drawn to someone based on how they think. And with emotional attraction, it is often about wanting to get to know someone for who they are on a deeper emotional level; it is more about their personality. 

Attraction can be a very important part of any relationship, as attraction—in various forms—is the initial spark of interest that gets two people together and part of the glue that keeps a relationship moving forward. You may not experience all forms of attraction for one person at first, and sometimes, the different types of attraction can influence each other. For instance, you may start by being very intellectually attracted to someone based on your conversations about thought-provoking topics, and over time, you may start to develop an emotional attraction for other aspects of their personality and who they are.

Getty/Luis Alvarez

What makes a man attractive?

Different people can have different preferences and be attracted to different things, so there is no universally agreed-upon definition of what makes a man attractive. Below, we’ll explore what might be attractive to some people in a few different areas. 

Physical attributes 

Many people may have various physical attributes that they find attractive in a man, and these can vary from person to person. For example, some women find facial hair attractive, while other women may prefer a man with long hair, and someone else may prefer a man with a shaved head. Or, someone might be attracted to a man with a very muscular physique, while someone else prefers someone very slender. People may also have different things they find attractive when it comes to eye color, height, style, tattoos, hair color, and more. 

Personality traits

Apart from the physical, many people also find certain personality traits to be very attractive. For instance, a sense of humor is often seen as a very attractive trait for many people, and shared laughter can be a way to develop a deeper connection. Other traits that many people find attractive can include kindness, empathy, intelligence, honesty, and compassion. As with physical attributes, different people may find different personality traits in men more or less attractive. For instance, one person may find an energetic, outgoing man to be very attractive, while someone else may find a quiet, reserved man to be more attractive. 

Shared values

Finally, having shared values can often be a key part of attraction for many people, especially when it comes to emotional and romantic attraction. When building a relationship with someone, it can often be very important to see eye-to-eye on things you both value, such as family, plans for the future, relationships, and beliefs. The specifics of these shared values can, again, vary widely from person to person. For instance, one person may envision a life of travel and adventure without kids, and so finding a man who wants the same things can be very important and attractive. Meanwhile, someone else may want to start a family and raise them in a certain belief system, and so they may find a man with those same views more attractive.

Are you struggling with your self esteem and confidence?

How online therapy can help

If you find that creating confidence or feeling content in who you are is difficult, therapy can help. When looking for a relationship, it can help to focus less on what you might be lacking and more on the traits and experiences you have working in your favor and cultivating your own self-esteem and gratitude. This is often easier said than done, so this is something online therapy can help with. In fact, research has shown that online therapy can be effective for improving self-esteem and empowerment

If you’re feeling down on yourself and lacking self-esteem, the thought of going to an in-person appointment and potentially waiting in an office with strangers might carry some intimidation. With online therapy through Regain, you can meet with your therapist wherever you have internet, including the comfort of home. 


When it comes to dating and relationships, attraction can be an important factor. There are different types of attraction, such as sexual attraction, intellectual attraction, romantic attraction, and more. There is no one set of characteristics that everyone finds attractive, and different people will have different answers to what makes a man attractive. For help with these and other dating concerns, you can meet with an online counselor for support. 

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