How Do I Stop Feeling Like People Don’t Like Me?

At some point in time, many of us may feel as though people don’t like us. Whether it’s a specific person or a group of people, it can be painful to feel that people dislike you or find out that someone dislikes you. However, we want you to know that you don’t need to stay stuck in that feeling. With the right help and support, many can move to a place of neutrality and confidence, knowing that they are loved and cared for by those around them. 

Below, we’re showing different strategies to help you stop the feeling of inadequacy or confusion. We’ll also be covering strategies you can use when you feel disliked by someone you know and care for. 

Find the origin of the feeling

Generally, the first step of getting to a place where you no longer feel as though people don’t like you is to pinpoint why you might feel that way. 

When did it start? Did you start feeling like people don’t like you after a falling out with a friend? Was it after something specific that someone said to you, or has this been an ongoing issue in your life?

Once you find out the origin of this feeling, it can be easier to work through it. For example, if you notice that you started feeling as though people don’t like you after something that a friend said or feel as though you’re disliked only after you hang out with a specific person, you can take clear, intentional steps to put distance there and focus on rebuilding your confidence. 

Alternatively, if you felt this way for a long period of time and there’s no real origin that you can find,  it could be that you are experiencing a form of nervousness or social worry. These symptoms don’t necessarily indicate the presence of formal social anxiety disorder, although they can be symptoms if the condition is present. 

Anxiety, specifically social anxiety disorder, can manifest in many different ways, and one of those ways is in worrying about what people think of you. No matter what the case is, one thing is likely true; feeling as though you’re disliked doesn’t make it factual—and there are many ways to break free from the feeling. We’ve included them below. 

Meet new people (and give them a chance)

Positive social relationships are an integral part of many of our lives. If you feel that the people around you currently don’t like you, you might consider expanding your horizons and making an effort to meet new people. If you’re shy, spending time with people might induce nervousness at first, but it will likely get easier as time goes on. Eventually, it may even become second nature!

Be willing to reflect on your own actions

If you feel as though people don’t like you, you may consider reflecting on your own actions. When you feel like you rub people the wrong way, why is that? Are there common themes or scenarios that you find yourself in that make you feel like people don’t like you or as though you rub people the wrong way?

You don’t have to be afraid of the potential you may hold to do or say the wrong thing. Armed with any knowledge you discover throughout this process, you can potentially modify any behaviors that are impeding your friendships. 

If you find a common theme impacting your ability to maintain friendships or relationships, consider working through it to potentially reduce the likelihood of conflict in the future. 

Through this process, we do want to note that doing something wrong doesn’t mean that you are fundamentally unlikeable or disliked at all. Research shows that change in personality and behavior is entirely possible, and may be done before people begin to feel frustration. You can change your response if you find that you’re doing something that hurts other people.

If you aren’t sure where to start, you might consider being the kind of person that you’d like to be friends with. Try thinking about how you’d like a friend to treat you, and what qualities you would appreciate in another person. If you can apply those qualities to yourself, it may be easier to feel internal that you are likable and give that vibe outwardly.

Build confidence

Often, feeling as though others dislike us can be related to our sense of self and self-confidence rather than anyone else’s true perception of us. Though having low self-esteem is common for many, there are many different activities you can engage in that mayhelp you increase your level of confidence. 

A popular self-confidence building activity is to write a list of your positive attributes. You can do this on a loose-leaf piece of paper, a journal or even a note on your phone. Everyone has the potential to foster positive attributes, and this activity can help you to you identify yours. 

If you’re struggling to do so, you might try looking at a list of potential positive attributes online, thinking about those you see in others and yourself, or asking a friend or family relative to give you some traits that they understand that are positive within you.

Self-care can be another confidence-booster for many. This step can be generally defined as the process of taking care of yourself in whatever way is appropriate in that moment. Self-care could mean cleaning, sleeping, or doing something for yourself that you will appreciate later on, like knocking out a chore you’ve intended to take care of but haven’t gotten around to. When you do this kind of thing, it may boost your confidence in your ability to function and excel across all areas of your life — both in a personal and relational sense. 

How can online counseling help those living with self-doubt? 

Online counseling or therapy is an excellent place to find quality mental health care and encouragement if you’re living with self-doubt in your relationships. Often, when we’re facing difficulties in our personal relationships, it can feel too overwhelming to leave the home or our safe place and “start” something new with a professional counselor or therapist. That’s where the utility and convenience of online therapy can be a resource. With this method of outreach, you can connect with a licensed therapist from the comfort of your own home and smart device — including through convenient messaging or face-to-face calls. This can be a powerful way for many to remove possible barriers to mental health support. 

Is online therapy effective for relationship concerns? 

Relationships can be difficult. However, online therapy can be a useful resource to help you navigate your internal relationship building process and connection steps with others. 

You may be wondering how effective this form of therapy is, as it is a newer method of treatment delivery. We’re pleased to confirm that many in-depth analyses and studies have been done to evaluate the efficacy of online therapy for relationship concerns, most recently from the National Center for Health Research.

Notable findings from a literature review of over 40 different studies showed that there is no discernable difference between online and in-person treatment for conditions such as depression, anxiety disorders or trauma—all of which can underscore feelings of dislike or insecurity in relationships. This scientifically suggests that users of online therapy can get the exact same benefits as those in “traditional” in-person treatment, if not more.

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