What Are The Different Kinds Of Relationship Therapists, And Which Is Right For Us?

When you’re looking for a couple’s therapist, narrative therapists, Gottman Method couples’ therapists, and general couples therapists are a few types of relationship therapists that you may wish to choose from. Narrative therapists can help you “rewrite the narrative” of your relationship or a particular challenge in your relationship by seeing it from other perspectives. Meanwhile, Gottman Method therapists can help you improve your bond, and general couples’ therapists can help with a wide range of issues that may be occurring in your relationship. No matter the type of therapist you choose, starting relationship therapy in person or online can be an excellent way to help you and your partner improve your relationship satisfaction and mental health.

An overview of relationship therapy

The overarching purpose of relationship therapy is typically to reduce stress and find ways for both partners to rise above the issues they face. As a general rule, relationship therapy tends to be the most effective when both parties are actively involved and open to solutions. 

Common reasons to start relationship therapy

Although all kinds of issues can drive wedges between couples, there are often some common reasons why people go to relationship therapy. These reasons can include, but are not limited to, intimacy issues, finances, differences in lifestyle choices, and infidelity. 

Sometimes, people also pursue relationship therapy because they believe the partnership has lost its spark. This can happen more often than most people would like to think, especially as couples settle into their routines. In many cases, couples seek therapy in the hopes of finding ways to reignite the passion with one another. 

Effectiveness

The effectiveness of relationship therapy typically depends upon the individuals in the relationship. Even the best therapist in the world can only do so much; ultimately, the two partners must usually be willing to listen to the therapist and put in the work, even when it's challenging.

Consistency can also play a role in how effective relationship therapy can be for certain individuals. Staying the course may be easy when therapy is ongoing, but couples can also do well to remember the tools they've learned once sessions have reached their end. 

A close look at different kinds of relationship therapists

Relationship therapy is often viewed very broadly when, in reality, there can be a multitude of variations. In addition, certain types of relationship therapy may be better suited for solving specific problems than others. 

Narrative therapists

The process of narrative therapy typically encourages couples to separate their issues from their significant others. This often means articulating problems in the relationship as distinct entities, not as internal flaws within your partner. Narrative therapists normally help clients realize that they can change the issues they're facing in the relationship by looking at them differently or creating a different narrative. 

Gottman method couples therapists

These particular therapists can help couples understand one another and increase their mutual respect, compassion, and bond with each other. This is usually done by encouraging both partners to verbalize their needs and understand internal elements, such as hopes, dreams, fears, and concerns.

Gottman Method Couples Therapy was designed mainly to manage conflicts instead of doing away with them altogether. However, depending on the nature of the problems couples face, this specific manner of relationship therapy might not be beneficial.

Couples therapists

Couples therapy or couples counseling typically involves direct work with you and your significant other. This particular type of professional help is generally rooted in the assumption that solving problems in the relationship is best done with both parties examining their relationship. Therefore, it may not be uncommon for couples therapists to work with individuals who experience various emotional problems or dynamic shifts within the relationship.

Couples therapy tends to be most effective when both partners are on board and willing to do the work; if only one person is able or willing to come to therapy, a relationship therapist would likely work with them on an individual level. However, even when this is done, the best results are generally yielded when both parties are on board.

Which relationship therapist is right for us?

It can be understandable to question which relationship counselor will be most compatible with you and your significant other. However, the answer ultimately depends on the two of you and what you're both looking for; there is not always one set of generic answers. 

What to look for in a relationship therapist

After deciding which type of relationship counselor is right for you and your partner, it can also be helpful to know what to look for in a specialist. This can make a difference in the quality of care you receive.

Empathy

When confiding in a therapist about relationship challenges, you’ll generally want to work with an empathetic person who cares. A therapist's level of empathy can often be gauged by their words, tone of voice, facial expressions, and the overall energy you feel when you're in a room with them. Whatever relationship counselor you work with should normally have enough empathy to build a healthy rapport with you and your partner.

Practical feedback

Practical feedback is something else that you and your partner should keep an eye out for when working with a relationship counselor. Some of what the therapist says may be unexpected, but it should still generally make sense. Furthermore, relationship therapists should normally connect with both individuals and provide reasonable and thought-provoking feedback.

Understanding the endgame

When two partners see a relationship counselor, they generally do so because they wish to save their relationship. Therefore, it is generally the job of the relationship counselor to understand the desired endgame and aid both parties toward reaching their goals with one another. In many cases, this can take time, but it should usually be what everything else is leading up to.

An alternative type of relationship therapy

When many individuals think of relationship counseling, they may think about couples going into an office and meeting with a specialist. While this is how relationship counseling works in many cases, it's not necessarily the only option. As a matter of fact, many people's lifestyles may not allow them to visit a relationship therapist's office each week. However, there can be options for those who cannot pursue the more traditional relationship counseling methods.

One of these options may be online therapy, which can empower you and your partner to get the help you deserve from anywhere with a reliable internet connection. Another potential benefit of online therapy is that you’re often able to schedule sessions at times that wouldn’t typically be available at a traditional therapist’s office.

According to this study, participants found online couples therapy to be a positive and beneficial experience. They were able to form strong therapeutic alliances with their therapists, even though they initially had doubts about the efficacy of online therapy.