I Love My Boyfriend, But How Do I Show Him? Learn Your Partner’s Love Language

Updated July 01, 2020

If you’re reading this, you’re probably thinking, “God, I love my boyfriend. How do I show him?” If you’re thinking I love my boyfriend and you’re not sure how to express that love, learning about his love language can help. Of course, saying to your boyfriend “I love you” is one way to show him that you love him. But sometimes, you want to do something special for your partner. You might want a creative way to say, “I love my boyfriend” for a special occasion, or you might just want to surprise him. Here is some background on the five love languages and how you can use them to express that you love your boyfriend.

What Is A Love Language?

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Love languages refer to the ways that people prefer to give and receive love. Love languages have emerged as a popular topic in recent years. Gary Chapman, Ph.D. Released the book “The 5 Love Languages” in 1992. It became a New York Times bestseller, and the Conversation surrounding love languages has continued to increase since. In Gary Chapman’s book, he described the five different love languages. Additionally, on his website, you can learn about the five love languages and even take a quiz. Learning about the five love languages is a great way to discover ways to say “I love my boyfriend” in a way that’s personalized for him.

What Are The Five Languages?

The five love languages are quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, and gift-giving.

If you are thinking “I love my boyfriend; how do I show him?” but you do not know his love language, you can say to your boyfriend I love you, and then ask, “I was wondering if you knew about the five love languages?” If he says no, you can take a love language quiz together as a couple’s activity that will help you get to know each other better and give and receive affection to one another more effectively. This activity in itself is a great way to say, “I love my boyfriend” because it shows that you care about getting to know him even better than you already do. Again, you can find quizzes on Gary Chapman’s website, but there are a lot of other love language quizzes out there online, too.

Ways To Show Someone You Love Them Based On Their Love Language

Here are some ways to say “I love my boyfriend” based on his love language.

Gift-Giving

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If you’re thinking, “I love my boyfriend,” and he has gift-giving as a primary love language, you can think of a crafty gift to give him. It doesn’t need to be a large or expensive gift for it to say, “I love my boyfriend.” You can express that you love your boyfriend or show “I love my boyfriend” by gifting him a card or something small that is related to an inside joke that you have together.

Words Of Affirmation

Expressing “I love my boyfriend” through words of affirmation can be just as simple as saying “God I love you” to him, but it doesn’t end there. You can also say, “I love my boyfriend” by saying to him, “I love loving you,” “I love being with you,” or by complimenting him on something specific. Compliments are a great way to say “I love my boyfriend” if his love language is words of affirmation. You might compliment him on his work ethic, how caring he is toward you, his communication skills, or anything else that makes you love your boyfriend.

Acts Of Service

One way to say, “I love my boyfriend” is through tangible acts. If your boyfriend’s love language is acts of service, you can show him affection by surprising him with something you’ve done or by asking him if there’s something he wants help with. For example, you could clean an area of the house that you’ve both been meaning to take care of but haven’t gotten around to, ask him if he wants you to pick something up at the store for him, offer to go to the post office for him, or anything similar. There are many ways to say “I love my boyfriend” through acts of service. You know your boyfriend better than anyone else, so you’ll be able to think of what tangible act would mean the most to him. If acts of service are your boyfriend’s love language, it doesn’t mean that you need to say I love my boyfriend through major time-consuming acts all of the time. It can be small acts of service like the ones above that mean the most.

Quality Time

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Many people share quality time as one of their love languages, even if it’s not their primary love language. If you’re thinking, “I love my boyfriend,” and you’re not sure how to show him, one way to keep it simple is to plan a day or night together. Don’t just think, “I love my boyfriend, but tell him. Say, “I love you, and I thought that we could spend some time together,” and then, ask him if he wants to do something you know that he enjoys. For example, you could ask if he wants to go to the movies, or if he’d like to have a chill night at home with you. Again, you know him better than most, so you’ll understand what’d suit his personality type the most and will know the best way to communicate “I love my boyfriend” through quality time or other love languages based on that.

Physical Touch

To express, “I love my boyfriend,” through physical touch, you can do something as simple as hold his hand or rub his arm. For people that experience physical touch is a primary love language, these gestures are very meaningful. Maybe, he likes massages. If that’s the case, you can surprise him by asking if he wants a back massage or if he wants his shoulders rubbed. Always make sure that a physical gesture is consensual and check with him that it is something he likes first. Plenty of people love sex, but physical touch as a love language doesn’t necessarily refer to sex. if you do love sex, that might be one way you and your partner show each other love, but it shouldn’t be the only one.

Get creative and show each other that you love one another in varied ways. Sometimes, it’ll be subtle, and sometimes it will be overt, but if you’re thinking, “I love my boyfriend,” and you’re wondering how to express it, the ideas above should be a good place to start. Remember, people can have a combination of multiple love languages, so you can use a combination of the ideas above to say, “I love my boyfriend.” Saying “I love my boyfriend” in a variety of ways is one way to keep the love alive and keep things interesting.

What Do I Do If My My Partner Has A Different Love Language?

If your partner has a different love language, it doesn’t mean that you are incompatible at all. All that knowing someone’s love language does is give you the key to showing them affection in a way that will resonate with them the most. To your boyfriend, I love you may look different, and that’s okay. If you’re thinking, “I love my boyfriend, but we have different love languages. What do I do?” The answer is to listen. Ask him what his love language is and listen to what he says. If you take a love language quiz together and find that you have different results, after reflecting on your love languages, you can talk to each other and communicate about what they mean to you. For example, someone who has the love language of words of affirmation might prefer to receive that form of love differently than someone else with the same love language. There might be specific or unique things you can say to him that will make him feel loved based on who he is as an individual. The same is true for acts of service or any other love language.

When in doubt, make sure to ask your partner what you can do to make them feel loved. In relationships, it’s always important to communicate about your needs and desires, both as they are related to love languages in the relationship in general. Additionally, if there something you try out related to love sex and romance that one of you doesn’t like, it is essential to communicate about that as well. Communication is key in all relationships. Certain things will take some troubleshooting, and that’s more than okay.

What If He Doesn’t Show Me Affection Back?

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Love sex and romance all include reciprocal affection. If you are thinking, “I love my boyfriend, but he doesn’t seem to show me love back,” or even, “I love my boyfriend, but does he love me back?” It’s a sign that you need to have a conversation. Sometimes, we feel as though people aren’t affectionate, and they’re not doing it on purpose. Perhaps your boyfriend has a different love language than you, or maybe he doesn’t understand how to show you that he loves you. If you have multiple conversations about this topic and don’t seem to be getting anywhere, it might be time to seek the help of mental health professionals. Seeing a couple’s counselor does not mean that there’s anything wrong with your relationship. Instead, it means that you are putting time, effort, and love into making your relationship the best it can be. People go to couples counseling for a variety of different reasons. People might go to counseling in the form of premarital counseling before getting married, or they might go to couples counseling at any time during their relationship or marriage to work through issues related to affection, communication, parenting, or any other topic that arises as a common theme in the partnership. Couples counseling is shown to be effective in helping people improve their relationships, so don’t be afraid to reach out.

Counseling

Online counseling is an excellent place to work through any concerns that you have in your relationship. The licensed mental health providers at ReGain are here to help you and your partner communicate effectively and show love to one another. Search the online network of mental health professionals at ReGain and find the perfect fit for you.

References:

Discover Your Love Language – The 5 Love Languages®

Short and long-term effectiveness of couple counseling: a study protocol


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