How Do You Deal With Your Husband When He Ignores You?

Updated July 01, 2020

Marriages can be complicated. Work can be stressful. The kids may be getting into trouble. A family member may be causing turmoil. There could be fertility issues. The list is endless. However, communication is essential. When your man ignores you or stops talking to you, there could be a reason other than yourself. There is a big difference between when he chooses to ignore you and when he just stops talking.


What Do I Do When My Guy Ignores Me?

When your spouse starts to ignore you, you need to find out why. This is the first step to working through the lack of communication. It is quite possible that there is nothing wrong with you and that he is just so stressed out that he does not want to talk when he gets home. He may be ignoring you during these times and not even realizing it.

However, you may be wondering, “Why is he ignoring me?” “Is he having an affair?” “Does he not like me anymore?” “Is our marriage doomed?”

These are all logical questions, and you deserve an answer, but pressuring him may make your husband even more distant.

If he chooses to ignore you, this is a different problem than if he suddenly ignores you due to stress.

One thing that you need to keep in mind is that guys do not merely ignore a girl when they are romantically involved. If your husband is still in love with you, he is thinking about something other than you. While it may come across as your man ignores you for no reason, he may simply be working an issue out in his head, and he has tunnel vision.

Tunnel vision is when someone is focusing on only one thing and forget that other things are happening around them. While it may seem that he’s choosing to ignore you, he may not even realize it.

The best way to address when your man ignores you is just to ask what he’s thinking about. Perhaps say something like, “I’d love to hear about your day. What’s been going on at work?” He may open the flood gates and talk for an hour about all that is going through his head. This would be a great outcome.

However, he may also say that everything is fine when you say, “I’d love to hear what you’re thinking about.” While this response is not ideal, at least you know that he’s not ignoring you entirely. He may just not want to talk about it right now.

At this juncture, you need to determine if your husband has chosen to ignore you or if there is a particular time of day that he is more open than others.

You also need to take into consideration what happened before your husband’s new behavior. Did you say something that hurt his feelings or forget his birthday? He may be ignoring you because he’s thinking you don’t love him anymore.

Do you see how this cycle can perpetuate? Your guy starts to ignore you because you hurt his feelings. Instead of talking about what he is feeling, he just shuts down and chooses to ignore your presence because he is hurting inside.

However, if you did nothing out of the ordinary and your man ignores you anyways, this will take further investigation.

What Are the Reasons That My Husband Ignores Me?

There are many reasons why your man ignores you regularly. While it may be surprised when he suddenly ignores you and chooses to ignore you for a long time, it’s less shocking when your guy ignores you all the time.


The reasons why your partner has chosen to ignore you may be:

Your Spouse Is Annoyed And Starts To Ignore You

Many guys do not like to talk about their feelings. They may have been raised in a household where men were supposed to be strong, and showing or sharing their feelings is a sign of weakness. While the truth is neither of these is true, it may still be hard for your spouse to open up to you about things that annoy him. Whether it is work-related or something that took place in your relationship, when your guy ignores you, it is best to ask him what is going on. You will never get to the bottom of why your man ignores you if you can’t talk it out.

Your Guy Ignores You Because He Doesn’t Want To Be Tied Down

Sadly, sometimes your husband starts to ignore you because he doesn’t want to be married anymore. While this is an unfortunate thing, it is best to find out early on than staying in a silent marriage. You will slowly settle into a depression, and that will compound what is happening to you. The best thing you can do to find out if this is the case, and why he chooses to ignore you, is to simply ask, “You seem to be distant lately and have been ignoring me. Do you want out of this marriage?” Depending on the answer will dictate your next response.

He Misses His Friends And Family

When your man ignores you, it may be that he misses his life before you came on the scene. If you moved or relocated after getting together, your partner may be missing his friends and family. While it is normal to feel a longing to reconnect to your youth, your husband needs to understand that you aren’t to blame for the move. He needs to be reminded that he can still stay in touch with those close to him and does not have to take it out on you. When your guy ignores you, it is best to talk about the sadness he is feeling and perhaps plan a vacation back home. If money is tight, you can set up a virtual surprise party for your husband with all the people back home that he misses.

There May Be A Misunderstanding  Between You And Your Partner

It is quite possible that your guy ignores you because there was a drastic misunderstanding between you both. When you have a strong marriage and communicate well, these misunderstandings can often be avoided. However, if communication has never been a strong point of your relationship, a simple misunderstanding can be the reason for your man ignores you suddenly.

Your Guy is Jealous

If you have found a new friend or discovered an interest outside of your relationship, it’s possible that your man ignores you because he’s jealous that you are spending time with others. If this is the case, then you may try to rectify things by spending a little more time with your husband. Maybe a date night would help or a weekend away together. You may also want to invite your spouse to participate in your newfound interest. While he may not be interested in participating, just getting an invite to join, maybe enough to turn things around in your relationship.

Your Husbands Priorities Have Changed

Once you may have been the center of your spouse’s world, but there may come a time when his priorities shift, and he places other interests before you. Instead of talking to you, he chooses to ignore you. If your guy ignores you because he isn’t feeling passionate about you anymore, you need to know. It is not fair to you if he has moved on, starts to ignore you, and you are lagging behind, not knowing what is happening. Again, communication is always vital. If your husband starts to ignore you, you have the right to know why.


Your Husband Is Having an Affair

While no one wants to think that their partner is cheating on them, infidelity is a leading cause of why a man ignores his wife. When a person strays from their marriage, it is a combination of failure to communicate and lack of respect for their partner. If your husband starts to ignore you, it may be because he is involved with another woman.

It is possible that marriage counseling can help reunite both of you if you want him back. However, if he chooses to ignore you and finds a new love, there’s a good chance that your marriage is over. Yes, this hurts, but it is best to find out early on.

Your Husband Is Gay And Is Trying To Deal With His Reality

Some men get married to a woman who they love but are secretly attracted to men; they try to act like there’s nothing wrong. Some people genuinely do love their partner and want to make a life with them, but the failure to acknowledge their sexuality can eventually come to an impasse. If your guy ignores you because he is working through intense feelings about his identity, he needs to get into counseling.

On a different note, some men know they are gay, but feel that they need to marry a woman, despite their attraction to men. They try to hide in a false marriage, but this rarely lasts forever. At some point, a man dealing with their sexual insecurities will need to address them. If your man ignores you during this time, it may be painful; however, he is also in pain. In-person or online counseling is recommended for both of you. He needs to discover who he really is and what he wants in life, and you need to do the same. Are you okay with being married to a gay man, or would you rather accept that this is not your fault and separate? Couples who find themselves in this situation tend to be best friends after the wounds have healed. But cracking the reason behind why your guy ignores you is the first step in a chain of stages you will go through.


There are many reasons why your partner starts to ignore you. The common denominator to all of the stated causes is lack of communication. If you man ignores you, you need to find a way to get him to talk to you. It is not okay for him to push you aside. Most people’s wedding vows state that they will stay together “for better or for worse.” The only way you can get through the worse is if you have an open and communicative relationship. When a guy ignores you, it is often out of lack of respect, and this is never okay.

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