Why Do I Hate Being A Mom? (And What To Do About It)

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by being a parent? At one point or another, many parents might. Parenting can be a rewarding experience, even if it might feel overwhelming right now. Acknowledging the feeling, therapy and honest communication can all be ways to help you enjoy a more positive parenting experience. 

Read on to learn more about what could cause the feeling of frustration in parenting, and different supportive strategies you can try to enhance your overall experience. 

What to consider when you feel overwhelmed by parenthood

There are days when a parent might think, I hate being a mom. This does not mean, however, that they hate their children or the process of parenting. They might feel frustrated that they do not have more support, or be overwhelmed with how their child is acting that day. 

Acknowledging these feelings rather than assigning a judgement on them can be a helpful way to move past them into a more healthful space and attitude.   

If you are experiencing guilt for feeling the way that you do; you might consider taking the time to understand that you’re not alone in feeling this way. Generally, these challenges will not last forever. Your baby can eventually sleep through the night, and so might you. Seasons of difficulty may give way to seasons of peace and joy as you lean into your child’s next stage of development. 

What are some reasons that you may say, “I hate being a mom”?

Here are some of the most common reasons why you may feel overwhelmed in parenthood: .

You feel like you have to be perfect at it

If you feel that you need to be the perfect parent, you might begin to feel hopeless or frustrated at the perceived lack of progress to a near impossible goal. Generally, no parent is truly “perfect.” Many parents work to do the best they can for their children in any given situation — socially, financially and otherwise. 

Acknowledging the inability to be perfect does not mean that you’re not doing a good job, though. Simply doing your best and making an effort can be supportive to both you and your child(ren).

You feel exhausted all the time

Having children can be completely exhausting. No one generally can prepare you for how tired you will be after having a baby. If you’re in a season of exhaustion, you might consider reaching out for additional help and support as you work to navigate the stage. Experts recommend that you sleep when the baby sleeps so that you don’t become too fatigued. Naps can also help to ward off feelings of nervousness and depression in some cases. Working with your doctor to create a supportive plan and network of “teammates” to help you through the sleepless nights can give you a healthier and rewarding experience. 

You may have underlying mental health conditions

If you often cry, experience feelings of hopelessness or generally lack the motivation to do everyday tasks, you may be experiencing symptoms related to postpartum anxiety disorder or postpartum depression. Seeking help from a professional, such as a physician or a psychiatrist, can help connect you to the tools you need to walk through this season successfully.

There are many possible contributing factors you may be encountering that can be exacerbating these conditions. For example: After having a baby, your body generally goes through significant changes. Your hormone levels might be different than they were before your pregnancy and while you were pregnant. This dramatic fluctuation can make you feel sad or mad, and may contribute to conditions such as those mentioned above. Early intervention can play a helpful role in your recovery, and may help you to enjoy parenthood all the more. 

We do want to note: All partners of any sex, gender or orientation might experience postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety disorder. Therapy can be equally effective in supporting all affected members of the family. 

You generally don’t like asking for help

It’s not generally uncommon that parents, or people in general, have difficulty asking for help.

When people offer to help, it’s okay to say yes. Some people might refuse help from family and friends because they want to prove to others that they can handle raising their babies independently. 

Whether people offer to make you a meal or stop by the house so that you can rest or shower, saying yes does not make you inadequate. Your friends and family may genuinely want to help you, especially if they have children of their own and know what you are going through. You might consider letting them come and get some  time with your baby while you attend to your needs for a little while — which can allow yourself to be in a better, more calm space when your child needs you later.

It can be helpful to rememberthat it can be difficult to take care of others if you do not take care of yourself. Parents are people, and people might often need support.

How can online therapy help those experiencing difficulty parenting? 

If you’re feeling overwhelmed when you consider the idea of parenting, you may not feel that you’re able to seek in-person therapeutic support. It can be a lot of work to get the children out of the house, especially when you already don’t feel that you’re at your most confident. Online therapy can be a helpful alternative that offers comparable benefits in a more accessible way to many. You can connect with your therapist through in-app messages at any time through your smart devices or home. 

Is online therapy effective for parenting difficulties? 

With this option available, you may be wondering: Is online therapy effective for parenting difficulties? 

In the wake of COVID-19, many researchers have turned their attention to studying the beneficial effects of telehealth across a variety of mental health conditions. PPD and PPA occurrences and experiences were a part of this body of research, and were carefully evaluated by researchers in a flagship study from the Journal of Medical Internet Research: Mental Health and UHealth. 

It was noted that online therapy is extremely effective in supporting those living with nervousness and depressive episodes related to the condition(s), 

Takeaway

If you’re experiencing difficult feelings about parenting, you aren’t alone. It can be a difficult (but extremely rewarding) process to undertake. Acknowledging the feelings and identifying the root cause can be helpful steps forward as you work to build your confidence. Online therapy can be a helpful option for parents who know that they need support but don’t know how they’ll find the time or resources. Regain can connect you with a licensed therapist in your area of need.