The Defining Qualities Of Father Vs. Dad
'Father' and 'Dad' may seem to be synonymous words. However, a closer analysis of the words typically align the word ‘father’ to mean a biological title and nothing more. While, when you hear the word ‘Dad’, you might think of a nurturing and supportive parent who has stuck with you throughout your life. What is it about the qualities of a father vs. the qualities of a dad that set them apart? Which kind of parental figure do you align yourself with?
Where fathers tend to have more negative qualities, dads are every kid's dream. By closely examining the definition of a father and a dad, you can determine which title you currently have. It might also make it apparent if changes are needed for your parenting style. Read on to discover more about the complexities of being a dad and how this title is distinct from that of simply being a biological father.
Definition of a father
According to Merriam-Webster, a father is defined as "a man who has begotten a child." This means that a father is a term used for a man that reproduced and created a child. This particular definition does not include any parenting or being present in the child's life. Children are negatively affected when their fathers neglect their parenting responsibility and simply contribute their biology to the relationship. The following characteristics of a father who only contributed his biological material reveals the effects an absent parent has on a child’s growth and development.
Relationship with children
A father may have played a part in creating children, but if he has no relationship with his children, he is not lacking, but is also missing out on the joy of being a good dad. In fact, a father who is absent inflicts emotional and psychological harm that, if left unresolved, can persist into adulthood.
Some of the problems that a daughter might have because of the lack of a healthy father-daughter relationship include substance abuse, fear of attachment, and lack of direction for their life. Having a parent who is not interested in their life or well-being does not go away the moment they reach adulthood. Furthermore, an absent father typically does not contribute financially to the family and a child may experience poverty or a lack in resources. As adults, children of absent fathers may manage feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem, have trouble with following the law, and are at a higher risk for mental health disorders. Many children with absent fathers need mental health therapy to move past that absence in their lives.
Lacks family priorities
Fathers tend to have priorities that exclude their families. They might claim that they work hard to earn money for their family, but if he does so at the expense of missing out on his child's life, his priorities are askew. If he works far more than necessary, his intentions are likely for selfish reasons. A father tends to care more about outside opinions, his hobbies, and interests, and having fancy things.
While it would be nice to make a man switch up his priorities, it will not be something that sticks until the decision is his own. If you are a father at this point and looking to better yourself as a parent, you are taking a step in the right direction by simply attempting to do better. A father becomes a dad by putting in the effort.
Fathers children, fails to parent them
Becoming a father is simply biology. Parenting the children that a man has created is a choice. Men should be equally responsible for the child they played a part in making, but fathers tend to have the idea that since it wasn't his body that held the baby as they grew, parenting is not something in which he needs to partipate. This is not true.
A father may not have wanted children, but he chose to partake in sexual intercourse that created his child. That decision alone makes him just as responsible for the child as the mother. The courts can make a father pay child support, but they cannot force him to spend time with his kids. He does not discipline his children, talk to them about what happened at school, or attend their sporting events or band concerts. A father is not a parent.
Definition of a dad
Merriam-Webster's sole definition for 'dad' is "a male parent." The presence of 'parent' in this definition describes the role that a dad takes on when he has children. Because of these qualities, children thrive when they have a great dad. Take a look at the following qualities of a healthy dad.
Warm relationships with kids
Developing a warm relationship with children requires being present in their lives. A dad knows his child's dreams and ambitions, reads books with them, and listens to them when they speak. Doing these warm, dad-like activities make better parents and well-rounded kids.
Dads are great huggers and love having warm relationships with their children. They feel no shame in losing their tough-guy image when they become emotional about their children's achievements, feelings, or as he watches them grow. Dads are always there for their children in times of need.
Has priorities straight
There is something about dads always being there that makes them extra special to their kids. It doesn't matter what is going on at work; if there is some way for a dad to make it to his daughter's soccer game or his son's school play, he will be there. He has his family at the top of his priorities and makes sure good kids know it.
Kids feel no need to question how important they are to their dad because he is always present. If his kids are not interested, a dad puts his children's needs first. He is happy to take time for himself and his hobbies when his kids have other plans.
Duties of a parent
He changes diapers, takes the kids to school, and makes sure teeth get brushed before bed. Although a dad likely has a job that keeps him fairly busy, he always makes sure that his kids are cared for.
Dads never feel like a parenting task is his co-parent's job. He might not enjoy changing diapers, but he does it anyway. Maybe bath time makes a mess, but he will clean up after. A dad plays an equal role as his partner and makes a real attempt at being the best dad he can be.
Working to be a better dad
If you found that you (or your partner) match more with the qualities of a father than a dad and you want a serious improvement, start with making a real effort to be more involved. Dads are men that stay true to their word, so tell your children that you plan to be more present in their lives and hold up your promise. The best of dads are those that can always be counted on.
Show up on time and as promised. Do not make promises that you are unable to keep. Be realistic so that your kids do not expect more than you can but ensure that you make your children a top priority. If you are co-parenting, ask your parenting partner if you can take on more responsibility.
While these are all great ways to start becoming a dad, you must keep it up for the rest of your child's life. Being in the stands at one sporting event is easy - making it to 90% of their sporting events is being a dad. Decide to be a dad instead of a father and have kids that know you love them.
Seeking professional advice
If you are trying to improve but have been unable to uphold your promises, you might benefit from counseling. Speaking with a counselor can help you determine why you cannot stay true to your word or what roadblocks you are putting in your way. It might take a lot of effort and several sessions with a professional, but you can become a great dad if given the opportunity.
You might be an involved parent but have a partner that is less so and is acting more like a “father”. If you and your co-parent are in a relationship, there are ways to get him more involved as a “dad”. However, it is often best for you to do so with the guidance of a professional. A counselor can help you communicate the importance of being a present parent and working together better to raise your children. Even if you and your co-parent are no longer together, counseling might make raising children together easier.
If you are interested in couples counseling but are nervous about going to a therapist’s office, you might try online therapy, which research has shown to be just as effective as in-person therapy. With Regain, you and your family can engage in online therapy without leaving home, which may be more comfortable if this is your first time speaking with a therapist. This can also be an effective option if anyone in your family lives or works in a different area. You can all connect remotely from wherever you have an internet connection.
Takeaway
Becoming a father can be a truly life-changing phenomenon. Fathering children is just the first step and is the easy part. The parenting journey that follows the birth of a child is what matters most. It can take a lot of effort, time, patience, and energy to be a good father, but it will be worth every second. Your role as a dad could be crucial to your child's success and as part of your own personal journey. Cherish the responsibility and be the best dad you can be.
Becoming a dad is challenging and exhausting, but it is worth all the difficult obstacles you will go through. If you recognize you have not been the best parent, know you can still become a great dad. Healing old wounds can take time and require patience, but it is important to be involved in your child's life. If you are unable to work on becoming a better parent on your own, do not hesitate to reach for the help of an online therapist.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
Why are fathers called Dad?
The definition of a father is a man who has sired or begotten a child. A father is simply a male who has reproduced. Not every father will have the honor of becoming a Dad, as a father must earn the title of Dad. For many families, the definition of a father biologically has little to do with who is considered to be a dad. The biggest difference between a dad and a father is that a dad is invested and involved in the wellbeing of his child. A father could also be this, but simple biology is not enough to be considered a dad if the father is not involved with the child. For lots of families, being a dad means being there for your kid. It may mean teaching children new things, preparing them for the real world, showing love and affection, and constantly working on the child-parent relationship. The rule of a Dad is crucial to the child's success. All the efforts will be worth it because your child will shower you with many ways to say "I love you Daddy."
What is the true definition of a father?
The definition of a father is a man who has reproduced, typically with a woman, and brought a child into the world. In short: a father is simply a term for a man who biologically has a kid. However, the difference between a dad, to use the phrase culturally, colloquially, or emotionally, and a father is a big one. A dad is far more than a man with a child. Whether a single dad or as part of a set of parents, a dad's responsibility is immense. A dad needs to be there for any children, teach them new things, and allow them to grow and explore this new world safely.
The true definition of a father can vary depending on the family. Still, generally, the important distinction comes between the emotionally there and caring for a child versus a biological father. This ability to find a father figure in the more deserving, committed men in a child’s life without relying purely on biology is especially prevalent in more modern family styles.
What is a father in the Bible?
The Bible offers some insight into what being a dad and a father means. A dad and a father can have different connotations in the modern world, but a dad and a father are basically the same in terms of what the Bible says about it. The Bible preaches that a dad or a father must set a good example for his wife and children.
What should I call my dad?
This article has spent some time defining the difference between a dad and a father, using dad to differentiate between a person meeting the emotional needs of children during their lives versus solely a biological contribution. It can be important to note that the difference between dad and father is more than just semantics. Each family is different, so having a child call their father “father” or “dad” or “pops” does not really make a difference. The far more important takeaway is learning the difference between a dad who cares and an uninvolved dad.
A single dad, a married dad, two dads, or any other combination within the family structure exists and works for different people. Family structures can be different, but the main ideas about what makes a good dad remain. Being a good dad means caring about your children, being invested in their lives, taking the time to teach them about the world, and being a good role model for what is important in life. Being a dad or a father can be a large responsibility as well as a huge privilege. It can positively affect a child’s future to have a person who teaches them right from wrong, is there for them when times are tough and will show unconditional love and affection; this role can often naturally be filled by a dad.
What is the importance of a father?
The importance of a father for some families cannot be overstated. A father figure can be incredibly influential and important in the life of a young child. A good dad is there for their children, teaches them important lessons about the world, and helps them develop and learn themselves. A father will often play a crucial role in the child's development and adult life. The relationship between a child and father should ideally be a lifelong one in which both the father and child feel they are growing due to each other.
Being a single dad is an extremely important responsibility. A single dad needs to not only teach their children but also take care of them single-handily.
Some families may not have a traditional father figure, with a man filling that role consistently or at all. While some families may provide male role models in uncles, neighbors, or friends, a child raised by a single mother or two mothers or any other parental unit will still grow up well. The most important thing for a child is loving adults who try their best to take care of them in their life, in whatever form exists and no matter what they prefer to be called.
How can I be the best father?
While it’s hard to say what determines being the “best father,” there are many aspects to being a great father to consider. The difference between a dad who genuinely cares about a child and one who does not is enormous.
While children grow up successfully in many different types of families, with the adults around them taking on many different roles as best they can, it is natural for a dad to wonder how to be the best father. To a father who is trying to pride himself on producing the best kid he can, it can’t be overstated how much of an impact on a child’s development that dad could have. Being the best father involves spending time and effort on improving the relationship with a child and working on improving life skills for the child.
Being a good dad is about communication and teaching children the reasons for behaviors and actions. It can be about providing a good role model in every facet of life. Becoming a father can be a truly life-changing phenomenon. It can take a lot of effort, time, patience, and energy to be a good father, but it will be worth every second. Your role as a dad could be crucial to your child's success and as part of your own personal journey. Cherish the responsibility and be the best dad you can be.
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