10 Marriage Tips For Newlyweds
Congratulations, newlyweds! The start of your marriage is an exciting time that can also bring newfound and possibly unexpected challenges. If you wish there was a magic instruction book on what to expect for newlyweds, you're not alone, but if you need a little help, look at the following ten pieces of marriage advice instead.
1. Decide how you're going to handle holidays
At first thought, you might think that this isn't a big deal. But holidays can cause a lot of stress for couples in the early years of marriage. If not properly dealt with, it can continue to cause stress year after year.
Before the holidays arrive, discuss how you're going to celebrate them. Talk about what traditions are important to each of you and find a way to blend them and make new ones. If you have an extended family that likes to celebrate together, find a schedule that you can agree on for who you will be celebrating with for each holiday.
If your family is used to having you home for every holiday, the thought of you being away with the in-laws might take some time for them to adjust to.
2. Make sure your expectations are real
Unrealistic expectations can cause a lot of problems in marriage. If you went through premarital counseling before tying the knot, you most likely discussed some areas where this is true, such as money, religion, etc. If you didn't, you should spend some time thinking about it.
You and your spouse are two individual people who grew up with two different backgrounds. You did things one way in your family, and your spouse and in-laws probably did things another way altogether. Naturally, people expect the same type of thing when they enter marriage as what they saw with their own parents or how their household ran when they were a child.
Take the time to discuss your expectations in different areas of your marriage with your spouse and ask them what expectations they have. This will quickly help you find the areas to address.
3. Discuss roles and who is going to handle what in the household
There are household chores that need to be done: grocery shopping, cleaning, vehicle maintenance, balancing the bank account, etc. It's helpful to discuss how you will handle each of these things in your marriage.
The division of tasks might need to be revisited later or adjusted as you see what works for you both and what doesn't.
4. Spend time together and focus on your marriage
The first few years of your marriage may be crucial to its long-term success, so you must work on your marriage from the start. The beginning is the time to build a strong foundation for the future of your marriage.
Spend time with your spouse. Find activities you like to do together and continue to make the effort you made with them before you married. Look for red flags in your marriage and address them as soon as possible.
5. Remember that difficult times don't mean it's over
There will likely be things you didn't expect in the early stages of marriage. This can make it easy to question your decision to get married. You might think your partner's behavior has completely changed after marriage. As you work on navigating the first year, there are many challenges and arguments that you didn't expect.
You might have thought everything would be smooth sailing once you got married, but this isn’t the case. Every marriage faces struggles from time to time. If you believe you are the only one struggling, it can make you feel like giving up. Knowing that it's normal for relationships to go through ups and downs can encourage you to stick to it.
6. Ask for and offer forgiveness
Forgiveness can be a struggle in any relationship, and it's different for men and women. But asking for forgiveness and extending it is crucial for a happy marriage. There will be times when you do something that hurts or upsets your spouse. You must acknowledge it and take responsibility while also asking for forgiveness. There will also be times when the same will be true for your spouse.
Keeping score and tracking how often your spouse has wronged you only leads to more hurt and pain in marriage. True forgiveness will require you to forgive your spouse even if you don't always feel like it and then forget about it. Once you forgive them, don't continue to bring it up. Let it go.
7. Tell the other what you need
In a perfect world, your spouse would always know what you need. But in reality, you can't expect your spouse to read your mind or anticipate your needs. If there is something that you want from your spouse, you need to communicate it clearly to them.
Expecting them to figure it out alone will only set them up for failure. You give them a fair chance to meet your needs or desires when you tell them what you want.
8. Have a plan for your finances
According to businessman Dave Ramsey, money is one topic that couples avoid discussing, which is a problem for many reasons. There's a good chance that you and your spouse don't have the same ideas about handling finances. If you avoid talking about it, you won't be on the same page, leading to disagreements.
It may not be fun, but creating a plan for your finances can help you avoid many problems before they start. Sit down and discuss a budget and spending. You may want to work with a financial planner to help you out.
9. Cut the cord and establish your new family
Some people have a more challenging time than others forming a new family. When you're trying to establish yourself and your spouse as a family unit, you will generally have to pull back a little from your parents and siblings.
This doesn't mean you drop having a relationship with them, but you need to ensure you're putting your spouse first. Their opinion is the one that should matter when you are working on making decisions. Not all parents have an easy time letting go in this area. It's important that you politely set boundaries and then stick to them.
10. Don't be afraid to ask for help
Sometimes you can benefit from asking people like family and friends for advice, but it's essential to understand the difference between talking with someone you know personally and talking with a therapist.
Going to couples counseling is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it can be the difference between working through the challenges of deciding to call it quits. The statistics show that the chance of marriage counseling helping your marriage is very good. According to Bradley University, "93 percent of couples also reported that counseling gave them the tools they needed to deal with their problems."
A therapist can help you and your partner by staying in a role where they don't take sides as friends and family can. They can help you get to the root of your problems and learn the skills that can help you to improve your marriage.
Consider online couples counseling
If you are getting ready to get married or in the newlywed phase, counseling can improve your chances of a successful and happy marriage. Online therapy makes it easy for you and your spouse to work with a therapist without taking too much time out of your schedule. You can attend sessions from anywhere you have an internet connection, and you don’t have to worry about commuting to an office or being on a waiting list for an appointment.
Research shows that online couples therapy is effective, too. One study found that couples felt they effectively connected with their online therapist and that the “video actually enhanced the therapeutic alliance, due to a greater perceived focus on therapy processes.” If you’re ready to take the next step, get started with Regain.
Takeaway
Adjusting to life as a married couple can be challenging. If you find that you are struggling in some areas, don't be embarrassed. It's something that every couple goes through from time to time. Don't ignore the problems. Focus on your marriage and building a strong foundation, and don't hesitate to work with a therapist for additional help.
What are the 3 most important things in a marriage?
Marriage advice for couples: The three most important things in a marriage are:
- Communication-Arguably, one of the best pieces of marriage advice is that communication in married couples is key to making the marriage last. Poor communication is one of the key causes of problems that lead married couples to get counseling from a licensed marriage and family therapist to work out their problems.
- Knowledge-It’s important married couples know enough about each other and what lies ahead for the future before getting married. The best marriage advice for anyone about to get married is that you need to know exactly who you’re marrying, so there aren’t any surprises down the road-so get to know them as much as possible.
- Commitment: The best marriage advice for newlyweds is that married couples must see marriage as a discipline of sorts and stay committed long after the novelty of passion simmers down and as the ups and downs of life ebb and flow.
How often should newlyweds make love?
According to Psychology Today, married couples make love on average once a week. Still, the best marriage advice for newlyweds is not to get caught up in what the average is or how often other married couples are having sex. Married couples each have their own set frequency and should only be concerned when there is a change in the frequency. If you’re not happy with the amount of sexual intercourse in your marriage, have an open dialogue with your spouse to pinpoint the cause. It could just be that you’re in an overwhelming season of life, or it could be something more. If necessary, seek out the help of a licensed marriage counselor who can help you and your spouse work through your issues. It may seem daunting or embarrassing to work with a licensed marriage counselor on such an intimate issue, but if it will improve your marriage, it’s worth it.
What should newlyweds know?
Some marriage advice for newlyweds:
- It’s normal to feel post-wedding blues.
- Setting new goals is a great way to combat post-wedding blues.
- One of the most common pieces of marriage advice to newlyweds is that it’s normal to feel like not much has changed, especially if you were already living with your partner before marriage.
- Another piece of advice for newlyweds is to get used to being asked how married life is.
- One of the best pieces of marriage advice for newlyweds is to date your spouse still and have date nights.
- One of the most important pieces of marriage advice for newlyweds is to get serious about your finances. Key advice for couples is to join bank accounts and work on their budgets and savings. Getting on the same page financially is probably the best advice for newlyweds and the best marriage tips, as finances are often the cause of conflict in marriage.
- Marriage advice for couples, whether newlywed or otherwise, is always to make time for each other daily. Oftentimes, couples find themselves getting so wrapped up in their busy schedules and neglecting each other.
- If you encounter any problems in your marriage, at some point, you likely will don’t be afraid to seek out the help of a licensed marriage and family therapist. There is no shame in receiving counseling from a marriage and family therapist, even if the issue isn’t that serious.
A licensed marriage and family counselor can help you and your spouse work through issues before they turn into something serious, saving you a lot of heartache down the road. - Another piece of marriage advice for newlyweds is don’t be afraid to talk about sex-whether you aren’t having as much sex as you’d like, or if life has gotten in the way and now isn’t a good time, such as when a child is born, or you’re having a stressful week at work. Open communication regarding sex is one of the best pieces of marriage advice for all couples.
- Another piece of marriage advice for newlyweds is to discuss in advance where you will spend the holidays, especially if either of your family resides out of town. This advice to newlyweds can prevent conflict in the future.
- Accept each other’s faults. Does your husband leave dirty dishes in the sink? Can your wife be forgetful at times? One of the best pieces of marriage advice is to accept the flaws of your spouse.
- Don’t abandon affection. You may become accustomed to your spouse to the point you don’t make affection a priority the way you once did. Marriage advice for newlyweds and advice for couples who have been married for a long time is to make affection a daily priority.
- Never stop saying, “I love you.” Like affection, advice for couples newlywed and otherwise is to make it a priority to tell your spouse “I love you” daily, such as when they leave for work in the morning or when you go to bed at night.
- One of the best marriage tips is to compromise. You’re not always going to be on the same page with everything, so it’s important to meet your spouse halfway.
What does every wife need from her husband?
Marriage advice for couples: there are some things every wife needs from her husband, including:
- One of the best pieces of marriage advice is that your wife depends on you to feel content in your marriage and enjoy the time you spend together.
- Advice to newlyweds is that women want to feel pride in their spouse and their family. You don’t have to be perfect for her to feel pride in your marriage, either.
- In the best marriage, the woman has the support of her husband, and he stands behind her in the decisions she makes.
- One of the best pieces of marriage advice for newlyweds and advice for couples of all ages is that your wife wants you to maintain your friendship with her-she wants to do things with you out of the bedroom, too.
- Another piece of marriage advice for newlyweds and advice for couples who have been together a long time-your wife needs you always to make her feel beautiful and desired.
- One of the best pieces of marriage advice for couples is that women need intimacy from their husbands and desire closeness with them.
- Another slice of important marriage advice for couples is that the wife needs the husband to step up as a father and fulfill his father's duty to their children.
- Good marriage advice for couples is that the wife needs leadership founded in strength, humility, and love. Leadership also entails taking the lead when seeing a marriage and family therapist work through conflict necessary to improve the marriage.
What makes married couples happy?
Mutual and equal dependability between married couples is what makes them happy. According to Psychology Today, individuals who were happy before getting married are likely to be even happier married. The best marriage advice for new couples? If you weren’t happy in your life before meeting your spouse, you might not be happily married, so you’ll want to figure out what it would take to make you happy as an individual and work on that. Advice for couples who aren’t happy is to seek a licensed marriage and family therapist who can help you improve your marriage through counseling.
What is the best marriage advice and marriage tips for newlyweds?
Focus on open communication, mutual respect, and maintaining a sense of humor to keep your relationship strong.
What makes for a strong marriage?
A strong marriage is built on trust, support, shared values, and a willingness to work together through challenges.
What should you not worry about in marriage?
Don’t worry about minor quirks or differences; embrace them as part of your unique dynamic.
What does a marriage checklist include?
A marriage checklist might include setting goals, managing finances, and establishing open communication patterns.
What are the three C's in a healthy relationship?
The three C’s are communication, commitment, and compromise.
What should newlyweds be prepared for?
Newlyweds should be ready for adjustments, shared responsibilities, and the growth of their partnership over time.
What are the pros and cons of being married?
Marriage offers companionship and stability but can come with challenges like compromise and shared decision-making.
What motivates couples to fight for their marriage?
Love, shared dreams, and a commitment to their relationship often motivate couples to work through tough times.
What is the primary purpose of getting married?
Many marry to share life with a partner, build a family, and grow together.
What is the most difficult phase in marriage?
Early adjustments and later years facing new life changes are often considered the most challenging phases.
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